


**Stockholm Syndrome**

by aromance91_0n_hiatus



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Abusive relationship but not a real relationship, BDSM, Controlling Behavior, Dark, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Forced Relationship, Forced Sex, Gratuitous Smut, Heavy Angst, I promise, Ian Gallagher and Mandy Milkovich are Best Friends, Jealousy, M/M, Mind Games, Obsession, Physical Abuse, Possessive Behavior, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Semi-Public Sex, Stalking, Stockholm Syndrome, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, eventual happy ending even though it seems pretty fucking impossible, serious mind fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-11-22 07:51:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 28
Words: 181,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11375823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aromance91_0n_hiatus/pseuds/aromance91_0n_hiatus
Summary: Read tags!This work is being translated on ficbook.net by the lovlie Max_Milka link is on ch 1 xo





	1. NOW HIRING

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning  
> Please read tags. This is and non con/kink (forced non consensual) boss/employee abuse of power. This is a fucked up story that I love but don't read if rape or emotional abuse or any of the tags get to you or offend you. Save us both the time and move on. 
> 
> For best experience listen to songs when provided to get a clear POV xoxo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning  
> Please READ tags. This is and non con/kink ( underage forced non consensual) boss/employee abuse of power. This is a fucked up story that I love but I have to say DO NOT read if rape or emotional abuse, physical abuse or any of the tags get to you or offend you. Save us both the time and move on. I don't need to hear how terrible i am, just don't read it that simple :). Thanks I hope you enjoy
> 
> I may repeat this on accident, cant seem to delete it so whatever

https://ficbook.net/readfic/6035979

Mickey Milkovich was 22 years old. He was the manager at the local drugstore the Kash and Grab. It was owned by some towel head fuck and his wife but they were never around. They pretty much gave Mickey free reign over the store. He was in charge of everything from hiring and firing to payroll and inventory, for all intents and purposes it was his store. Mickey was thankful for his job, it gave him an escape from his life. Sure he was an adult but he still lived at home with his 2 brothers, baby sister, and homophobic Nazi father. Yep he was a Milkovich and if there was one thing that a Milkovich hated it was a faggot, too bad for Mickey that meant he had to hate himself. He learned he was gay in middle school, he went to go jump some kid after school but instead ended up getting a hummer. He still beat up the kid after for good measure, he lived deep in the closet and he needed to keep it that way. Since then it had been a quick fuck here and there, never often and NOTHING serious.  
With the new influx of people moving to the south side fucking gentrification, the store had been getting busier. The jump in business meant he needed to hire someone. He had put up the now hiring sign over a week ago and no bites, that was until today. He was counting his drawer for the afternoon deposit when a boy walked in. The boy was young maybe 17 by the looks of him. Mickey immediately noticed his broad shoulder and the way his shirt fit nicely around his body. He made a point not to stare and instead went to his usual defense.  
"Can I help u?"

  
The boy glanced over at the door then set his backpack on the counter  
"Uh yea. Saw the sign ..you still hiring?"

  
Mickey raised his brow as he gave the boy a once over again. He could feel his pants tighten as he thought about how far the freckles on his skin reached across his body.  
"Yea man. How old are you anyway?"

  
The boy immediately looked disappointed like he wasn't expecting to be asked such a question.  
"18.."

  
Mickey laughed, no fucking way. The kid was tall and sure he was pretty built but no way was he 18.  
"Got Id?"

The kid quickly pulled out his wallet and begin fumbling around for what Mickey assumed was his imaginary Id . He didn't have time for this he had shit to do.  
"Look kid you want the job or not?"

  
The boy smiled at him and mickey could swear he came right then and there.  
"Yea I mean. Yes thank you"

  
Mickey put up his hand. "Not so fast , I don't work with liars. How old are you really?"

  
He saw a deep blush flood across the boys freckles face. "Fi..fifteen"

  
"15?"  
Aw fuck. He immediately felt like a perv getting hard from a 15 yr old, what was wrong with him and who the fuck looks like that at 15?

  
"Yes, but my birthday is next week. Please I'm a hard worker and my family needs the money and...."

Mickey found himself tuning out the boys words as he watched his pink lips move, he was entranced at the thought of those lips wrapped around him, then immediately repulsed. The kid was too young. He couldn't hire him...could he?  
"Save the sob story kid your too young"

  
"Please, I really need this job I'll do anything. I promise I'm a hard worker, i'll do anything"

  
The words echoed in Mickeys mind as the boy pleaded for the job. He thought about telling the kid to blow him, it was clear the boy was sincere and needed the money and Mickey had needs of his own. He walked around the counter and stood next to Ian  leaning on the counter.  
"You really want this job don't you kid?"

  
"Yes sir"

  
The name went straight to his dick, he's never been called sir before and it sounded so good coming from Ian's teenage mouth.  
"Fine. It's yours. You start tomorrow. Be here by 4pm ."

  
The kid let out a deep breath and smiled again.  
"Thank you sir you won't regret this. I'll do anything you ask I promise. 4pm sharp I'll be here"

  
Mickey smiled at the thought of working with the kid ..this could be fun.

 

****

It had been 2 weeks and just as he expected his new hire was a huge distraction. The kids name was Ian Gallagher and he knew for a fact he was gay too. He didn't say it but he would occasionally catch the kid eyeing men as they passed through the store. Ian had more than once bumped into him or brushed his hand against his while handing him a box or a magazine. Mickey tried to ignore it but He was 100% sure Ian was flirting with him. Ian would go out of his way to talk to him which he secretly thought was adorable even though he told Ian to shut up and get back to work. He hated how comfortable the boy was with his sexuality, honestly it kinda made him mad.

Today was going good so far. Ian had been talking his ear off about ROTC. He found it boring but was impressed with the boys commitment.  
"Sound like a lot of work man" he said as he flipped a page in his magazine.

"It is Mick but it's worth it. Once I graduate I and can go to West Point to become an officer."

  
Mickey shook his head at the kid.

"Don't officers get shot first?"

  
"Shut up man" Ian said and playfully punched his shoulder. Ian smiled at him causing him to fucking smile and they stood there for a moment.  
Mickey felt ridiculous like some school girl with a crush.  
"Uh can you like to stock something, do some kinda work"

  
Ian laughed and walked over to a shelf in the back and began organizing it. Mickey sat behind the counter and watched him. He didn't want to stare but the kid was sexy. He was pulled from his thoughts when an old guy walked over to where Ian was standing. He watched Ian flirt with the older man for about 10 minutes. Guy had to be in his 50's yet Ian had his hand on his shoulder, caressing it and was laughing at some stupid shit coming from the viagroids mouth. Ian should be working but instead he was wasting time with this jag off. Mickey felt a sudden surge of jealousy as he watched the pair. He knew it wasn't his business but he couldn't help himself. Not to mention Ian was just flirting with him..wasn't he? When the man left Mickey approached can. "That your grandpa?"

  
Ian chuckled "No just a....just a guy I've been seeing"

  
Mickey bit his lip. Ian just confirmed he was gay.  
"Ok Gallagher... the guy you been seeing? So your telling me your a fucking faggot then?"

  
"That word is offensive Mickey and you can't fire me because of it, so get over it" The boy said defensively.

  
Wow the kid had some sass, he liked it but it also made him want to deck him in the face. He walked to the door and locked it flipping over the busy sign.. If Ian was gay and so was he maybe work could get more fun.

  
"What's going on?" Ian asked concerned.

  
"Come here" Mickey demanded staring Ian directly in the eyes.

  
Ian looked nervous but still adorable

"I'm not going to fire you asshole"

  
"Uh ok.."

  
Ian walked over to him

  
"Take off your shirt" He said softly. What was he doing, this was wrong in so many ways but he wanted to see his body.

  
"Yea this" Ian said smugly motioning between the two of them "Not gonna happen Mick so just leave me alone to do my job please"

  
He swore every time the kid spoke he was older than 16. Ian was brazen and strongwilled, that was something that intrigued Mickey. NOW however he wanted to see how long it took to change that, what it would take to get him to submit. He wasnt used to rejection and he liked a challenge.  
Mickey shoved Ian in the chest and his back hit the shelf. "It wasn't a question Gallagher take off your fucking shirt" he was close to Ian's face his eyes were filled with surprise.

  
"Look man.."

  
He didn't have time to speak because Mickey grabbed the boys shirt and violently pulled it over his head leaving the kid speechless. Now seeing Ian shirtless and the V chiseled into his chest he knew he had to fuck him. He needed to fuck Ian Gallagher.

  
He reached out and ran his hand over his chest, the boy recoiled at his touch.

  
"How bad do you want this job Gallagher. Didn't you say you'd do anything?"

  
Ian jerked away defensively "Fuck you Mickey. I'm not some fucking whore dude!"

  
Mickey laughed and stepped back rubbing his lip "So uh I guess all that shit about supporting your family, paying bills and making sure your siblings have food in their fucking belly was a lie then?"

  
"What? No? I need this job"

  
Mickey walked up to Ian again placing his hands on his chest slowly running them down to the top of his jeans. His fingers curled between the soft fabric of his boxers and his freckled skin.  
"Alright then turn around"

  
"Mickey"

  
"I'm not gonna argue with you kid, either turn around or get the fuck outta my store."

  
"You can't fire me for not sleeping with you. I can go to the police"

  
Mickey couldn't help but laugh. He put his hand to his face and rubbed his nose.  
"Okay then so uh, you go ahead and do that. You tell them that I propositioned you and then fired you cause you said no. I'm guessing as soon as you say my name they won't believe you. You know who my family is don't you red?"

  
"It's Ian and yes"

  
"Then you should know the thought of me trying to fuck you is unbelievable so again you can leave or turn the fuck around!" He said lowly  
He watched with satisfaction as Ian slowly turned around.  
"Good now pull down your pants" Mickey leaned in and whispered in Ian's ear.  
"Please"

Mickey slammed his hand on the shelf next to the boys head then spoke as calm as possible in a commanding tone "Don't make me ask you again"  
He watched as Ian undid his belt then went to unzip his jeans.  
"That's right red, that's good"


	2. Your Choice Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey gives Ian a choice. I'm terrible at summaries just read :).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well if your reading this chapter you shouldn't be surprised by the content. Thank you for the positive feedback it means a lot!!

Mickey watched silently as Ian's pants dropped to his ankles leaving only the thin material of his boxer covering him. He looked so innocent standing there. He reached his hand out and ran it up the boys thigh. He heard Ian's breathing change as his hand grazed over his still clothed dick. The boys skin radiated with goosebumps at his touch. He slowly slipped his hand into Ian's boxers, running his fingers over his pelvis which felt like it was covered in curly soft pubes. He wondered if the carpet matched the drapes. He was fully hard now so he pressed himself against the boy so that the bulge in his jeans was rubbing against his ass. "You should take off your boxers Gallagher" he said, as his lips pressed into the boys ear.

Ian just stood still.

"You know kid this could be fun if you want it to be" Mickey said and kissed the crest of the boys neck. "Or not" he added as he pulled away. Ian's skin smelled musky and aromatic causing Mickey to kiss his shoulder this time. He waited for the kid to react but nothing. He was getting the silent treatment from this little brat. Whatever. He didn't need Ian to talk but he liked hearing his voice.He moved his fingers playfully through the field of soft hair before inching his hand down further. He was met with Ian's semi hard dick. Every bone in his body was aching for more. He wanted to touch and taste every inch of Ian Gallagher. He wanted to hear the boy calling his name instead of standing there quietly but he honestly wasn't prepared for that yet. He decided he really just wanted to see Ian, all of him. They had plenty of time to do other things so for now he would settle for getting a first class view of the redhead in front of him. He lingered a moment running his thumb across the head of Ian's dick before pulling out his hand. He could feel Ian's body relax slightly.

"Relax man. I'm not going to do anything to you"

Ian turned his head around quickly. "Your not?"

"No" Mickey replied taking a step back.

Ian quickly bent down to pull up his pants when Mickey approached him again.

"Aye. Slow your roll Gallagher I said _I_ wasn't doin anything. That don't mean we're done here"

Ian looked at him in confusion.

"Just stay there Red. Can you do that?" he raised his brow.

Ian nodded in agreement.

Mickey walked over a few aisles down to the personal care. They didn't have much, deodorant, tooth paste and yes, KY jelly and condoms. He didn't need condoms right now but he still grabbed a pack and stuck it in his jacket pocket. He grabbed the tube of KY Jelly and walked back over to where Ian was standing.

“Catch” he tossed the tube to the boy who caught it in the air. He watched as the look of confusion grew deeper on Ian's face when he saw what it was he was holding.

Mickey was already picturing the things he wanted Ian to do him but he was having a hard time thinking of what he wanted the boy to do to himself. The thought was too much for him to handle. He glanced over at the clock on the wall. He had only had the store closed for about 15 min, he could afford to keep it closed a little while longer.

“Let's take this party someplace a little more comfortable shall we?” he said glancing back towards Ian.

“What do you mean?” Ian looked at him, he was still holding the tube but his arms were crossed in front of his chest as if trying to shield his body from Mickeys eyes.

He could try, but it wasn't going to work.

“Follow me” Mickey replied and started walking swiflty to the back of the store. He turned when he noticed that he wasn't being followed. Instead Ian had pulled up his pants and was about to unlock the front door.

“You walk out that door Gallagher, don't bother coming back” he called to the redhead.

Ian stopped and looked at the ground. Mickey could see the struggle in the boys face and was worried he was going to leave. He really didn't want him to leave. He was a little surprsised when the boy took his hand away from the door and started walking over to him. He stopped when they were a few feet away.

“Come on” Mickey said and reached out his hand. Ian reluctantly grabbed it and he escorted the boy to the storage closet. Once inside he cleared off the table that was holding cases of beer and a box of soda. He carefully sat the boxes on the floor.

“Alright Gallagher pants off then hop on” he said patting the table.

Ian looked at him raising his brow.

“Just strip and get on the table man”

Ian did as he was told, kicking off his jeans then sitting down on the metal table.

“now I want you to lay back and touch yourself”

“What?” Ian went to jump down off the table..

“Hey easy” Mickey said putting his hand on the boys chest firmly stopping him from leaving.

“Either you can do it, or I can do it man. Right now i'd prefer to watch” he said looking the boy up and down.

“Your disgusting you know that?” Ian replied through clenched teeth.

“What? I don't have a gun to your head kid you know you can leave” Mickey said smuggly.

Ian sighed deeply and laid down on his back. Mickey decided to lean up against the produce shelf to get the best view of the show that was about to unfold.

“You still have the lube or do I need to get you some”

“I have it” Ian replied quietly.

“Alright then, go on”

Ian layed on the table and shifted his body slightly. Mickey watched in anticipation as the boys hand moved slowly under his boxers. He could tell Ian was touching himself but he couldn't see and that annoyed him.

“Na that's not gonna work man, take off your boxers too” he said causally.

Ian sat up and pulled down his boxers. Mickey was pleasenlty surprised to see the size or the boys dick. It was only semi hard at the moment and still gave some of the people he had been with a run for their money. The freckles that were across his face and chest spread down across his length. Just as he had suspected there was a tuft of red pubes just below the V in his pelvis. Mickey wanted to touch his soft skin and kiss his freckles but he knew he needed to be patient. He really needed to open the store back up so they needed to get this show going.

“That's more like it Gallagher. I wanna be able to see you when you cum”

Ian nodded his head in frustration before laying back down on the table. He reached down and grabbed his penis firmly in his hand and began stroking himself. He was slow and cautious and Mickey thought he was going to lose his mind watching. His pants began to tighten again as his erection grew. He found himself reaching down and adjusting himself not yet ready to go any further.

“That's so good Gallagher, now do it faster “ he said trying to hold back his excitement.

The boy listened and began to stroke himself faster and faster. If he was not mistaken he heard Ian let out the smallest moan as he lay there touching himself. Mickey wanted to take it up a notch and see how vocal the boy could be.

“I want you to finger yourself” he said as he walked over to the table. Ian ignored him and continued stroking himself, he had a rhythm going, it actually looked like he was enjoying himself and it was sexy as hell. He stood next to him and could see the sweat building up on the boys face and the way his eyes were squeezed shut. He placed his hand on his chest and Ian's eyes shot wide open. He stopped jerking himself off and stared wide eyed at Mickey as if he had forgotten he was there.

“Did you hear me Red?” Mickey moved him thumb over the boys nipple watching as it hardened at his touch.

“I can't” he replied breathlessly as he came down from the near release he was experiencing.

Mickey laughed and leaned down so that his face was close to Ian's.

“Hmmm and why is that?”

“I've never” Ian started to say then stopped. Mickey saw a blush creep across his face and immediately knew what he was trying to say. Ian was a virgin? No way.

“You never hooked up man?” Mickey said soflty.

“I'm the one who..”

“Ah I get it” Mickey replied licking his lips “You're a top aren't you? Well don't worry kid we will soon change that” he nodded as his eyes fixed with the young boys..

He walked back to his spot by the produce shelf and leaned into it, crossing his arms.

“What are you waiting for. I want you to jerk off while fingering yourself”

“I can't..I"

“You can, or I can do it for you.. Either that or you can get dressed and leave. Your choice kid”

Something about the tension in the air, the wait to see what the boy decided was making him so hot. Had he been a lesser man he would just go over and fuck the kid, he knew he could get away with it but he really wanted the kid to pleasure himself. He wanted to watch and see what he liked, he wanted Ian to break down and decide to fuck him. He pulled his smokes out of his jacket pocket and lit up a cigarette.

“You can't smoke in here” Ian replied.

Mickey lit the cigarette and took a drag

“Don't worry kid, I know the manager. He's not gonna fire me. Can't say the same for you if you keep waisting his fucking time.”

With that Ian reached down and grabbed his now flacid penis, pulling and rubbing it with his hands. Mickey let the nicotine flood his body as his erection returned. He watched intensely as the boy stopped to put a strip of lube on his finger, then he threw the tube to the ground angerily.

“Feeling fiesty red” Mickey laughed.

Ian said nothing as he lowered his hand and felt for his opening. He jumped slightly at the coolness of the lube touching his anus. The boy just let his finger linger over his opening and continued to stroke himself.

“Just go with it, it will feel good I promise just push it in” Mickey said softly putting his smoke out with his boot. He again walked up next to the table so he could get a better look. The boy had his eyes tightly shut but was really getting into jerking off. He was moving fast now and Mickey was pleased to see him lick his lips and tilt his head back. He still wasn't fingering himself and that is something Mickey had to see, they had come too far to not have this happen. He watched quietly as Ian drifted away and let the sounds he was holding back escape his supple lips.

“Mmmm” he moaned and Mickey knew he was was about to cum..

Mickey reached down to where Ian's hand was floating above his hole and gently guided the boys finger inside.

“Fuck” Mickey gasped as he watched Ian's slender finger disappear inside him.

“Shit” Ian cried breathlessly and craned his neck off the table. That was all Mickey needed. He undid his pants and jerked at his cock so hard he thought it would break. He placed his hand over Ian's moving the boys finger in and out of his hole causing him to squirm and moan loudly.

“Fuck ..I .."

“You look so fucking sexy right now Gallagher, it's not even funny man” Mickey whispered. He continued to moved Ians hand in and out but as his climax approached he couldn't resist as he slipped his own finger inside the boy.

“Holy shit” Ian cried. To his surprise Ian was now using his hand to push him away but he was not going anywhere. He twired his finger around inside the boy until Ian's hand dropped to his side and allowed him to continue. He moved his finger in and out of the boys hole. It was so tight and wet he felt like he was about to bust. He wanted to find the kids sweet spot before he did. He glanced up at Ian who was working his own dick like a fucking pro and decided to go for it. He slipped a second finger inside him and Ian almost rolled off the table.

“Easy Galagher. Just relax”

Ian did as he was told and relaxed his body as much as he could considering he was about to cum. Mickey moved his fingers back and forth when suddenly Ian did something very, very surprising.

“Fuck right there” he called out barely above a whisper but it was enough. Mickey came in hot spurts on Ians abused hole as the boy came in his hand.

The sound of the two boys panting filled the room. Mickey reached down to the ground and found a cleaning rag. He wiped off his hand and threw the towel on the boys stomach. He was still laying there with his eyes closed.

“That was good.” Mickey said as he buttoned up his pants.

“Come on man, we gotta open the store and get back to work”

“I feel sick” Ian said quietly.

“What's that mumbles?” Mickey replied..

“I wanna go home” Ian sat up and rubbed his eyes.

Was he crying? Seriously he was crying. He just had an amazing orgasm and he was crying. Mickey didn't do emotions and for some reason the sight of Ian crying in front of him, his eyes becoming red and puffy was too much.

Mickey scratched his head nervously.

“You gonna be here tomorrow?”

“Yea" Ian replied wiping his face with his arm.

“Fine get dressed and fuck off then. I'll close up.”

He shut the door to let the kid get dressed. He walked over to the front door and picked up Ian's shirt off the floor. He threw it towards the back room assuming the boy would see it when he walked out. He flipped the sign to open and unlocked the door. It had only been an hour since he closed the shop. That had to be the most exciting hour of his life, what was wrong with him? When did he become the guy who got off on this stuff. He wasn't that guy, that pervy guy was he? He couldn't help it if Ian was the whole package. Sure he was reluctant now but he was confident with more time the kid would be asking for it instead of pushing him away. He just needed to maintain his control and remind the kid who was boss. It's like he said earlier, he didn't force him to do anything.

He sat on the stool behind the counter and waited. It seemed like an eternity but it was only 5 minutes before Ian walked out, he had stopped to put on his shirt then walked over to the counter. His would not meet Mickey's gaze but just stood there awkwardly.

“Can i help you red?”

“I need my stuff..it's under the counter” Ian replied.

Mickey looked down below him and saw a backpack and a large jacket. He handed Ian his stuff and the boy left.

“Fuck” he sighed and leaned back in his chair. The boy had only just left and he was already anticipating 4pm tomorrow afternoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is from Ian's POV. Not gonna do that too often because the story is mainly from Mickey's POV but it kinda felt necessary. Hope to have up soon. Thank You!! xo


	3. I've Never

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian tries something new

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tried to edit the best i could. Heavily medicated right now lol so il repost tomarow pnce betad. Shorter chapter i like Mickey pov more but it felt nessacary to see in ians eyes for a moment

He felt dirty and used like a piece of trash. How could he let someone do that to him? Mickey made him feel weak and vulnerable which were two things that you wouldn't normally use to describe Ian Gallagher. He had never been put in a position where he had to compromise his pride. Sure he was a teenager but he was a very sexual person. Sex was not new to him, that wasn't the issue. The issue was the loss of control and the immense feeling of degradation he was feeling now. He had let someone control him and make him do things he truly did not want to do and he hated himself for it. He HATED Mickey.

He had thought the guy was easy on the eyes the first time he met him but he had known better than to flirt with a Milkovich. They were the kingpins of the South Side, whether it was drug dealing or running guns, they were your guys. When you needed to make someone disappear or an alibi, you would find Terry or one of his sons. Mickey was the youngest son and the most well known. He would be the one you would hear about beating somebody down for looking at him wrong in a bar or if he saw something he liked he would just take it. Most people knew better than to pick a fight but every now and then some poor fool would try to stand up for himself and end up in the hospital. Needless to say Ian was shocked to see the very same street thug sitting behind the counter of the Kash&Grab with a jacket that had General Manager printed on it. He was so nervous to even approach the guy. The Milkovichs were known to be very homophobic. Anytime you would hear of a hate crime in the neighborhood there was usually always a Milkovich involved. He didn't think Mickey would give him the job but when he did he was so happy. He remembered leaving the store and running home to tell his sister.. They threw a party that night in celebration. Now he never wanted to go back, he wished he could turn back time to the moment he walked past the store and saw the NOW HIRING sign in the window and just keep walking. He couldn't do that though. The look on his sister's face when he told her about the job was one he had not seen in a long time. He knew the extra income would help feed his family and help pay the gas and electric. He could add more money into the squirrel fund so that they could survive the winter. He needed this job badly, he couldn't afford to lose it. He just kept telling himself that today. When he let someone touch his body against his will he told himself it was for his family. When he left his pride in the storage closet at work, he told himself it was necessary. Mickey would have fired him and probably found him outside of work and beat him down, he wouldn't put it passed the guy especially now. He kept replaying the day in his head trying to find out how everything got so fucked up. They had been working together for a while now and never, NEVER in a million years did he anticipate the events of today. He took a deep breath and tried to shake off the feeling that had been following him around.

 

He entered the backdoor and was promptly greated by his sister who was busying about in the kitchen making dinner.

“Hey Ian. How was work?” Fiona moved a pot off the stove and set it in the sink.

He walked over to the coat rack and hung up his jacket and backpack.

“What's for dinner?” he replied as he kicked off his shoes into the pile by the door.

“Spaghetti and meatballs. V's on her way over with the sauce and the noodles are almost done. You didn't answer my question”

Ian ran his hands through his hair and rubbed his eyes in frustration. He really just wanted to put the day behind him but he knew his sister wouldn't drop the subject until he gave her something.

“It was work Fi. Nothing special” replied meeting his sisters gaze.

She looked at him doubtfully “It's just that normally you're more excited when you come home. You have a rough day? Bad customer?”

“Jesus Fi, it's my boss ok. I hate him” he said revealing more emotion than he intended. The moment the words left his mouth he wanted to take them back. Now his sister looked even more concerned. She walked over to where he was sitting at the table and rest her hand on his shoulder. His body betrayed him and he flinched at her touch.

“Ian. What happened? You know you can tell me anything” she said softly and sat down next to him.

He looked at the sincerity in her eyes and wanted to tell her everything no matter how embarrassing but he knew he couldn't. So he decided to tell her what he could.

“My boss found out I was gay today” he looked up at his sister “He didn't like it”

Fiona grabbed his hand. “Hey you know he can't fire you Ian. If he does we can sue his ass”

“I know Fi, it's just really uncomfortable right now I guess”

Fiona pursed her lips together thoughtfully for a moment before she spoke again.

“You can quit, find another job”

Ian shook his head and stood up from his seat. “No Fiona. I'm not going to quit. It took me forever to find this job and you know as well as I do that we need the money. It will blow over, I'm just gonna keep my head down and do my job the best I can.”

Fiona stood up and hugged him. Her arms wrapped tightly around him made him feel safe and he didn't want to let go. “I'm proud of you Ian, you know that”

“Thanks Fi." he smiled at his sister as she made her way over to the stove.

“You deserve it now go outside and get the kids. V should be here any minute”

He rolled his eyes and walked back outside to retrieve Carl and Debbie.

 

He walked slower the closer he got to the store. It was already 4:15pm. He was late and really just wanted to say fuck it and go home but he couldn't. He walked in the front door and saw Mickey sitting behind the counter manning the register as always.

“Your late” his boss said.

“Yea I know I..”

“Save it for someone who cares. Late again and we'll have a problem got it?” Mickey replied.

“Yup” Ian nodded and took of his jacket.

He normally stuck his stuff under the counter but he wanted to avoid Mickey at all costs so instead he decided to put it in the storage room. He started to walk back when he hear his boss talking.

“Where you goin' man? I unloaded everything last night”

“Uh yea no..I just wanted to put my stuff away” he said trying to avoid Mickey's heavy gaze.

“Why don't you stick it under the register like you usually do?”

Ian felt put on the spot, he was already drawing more attention to himself then he wanted.

“I just didn't want..I mean you're sitting there so”

“I'm not gonna bite red. Just come put your shit away and get to work. Times a wastin” Mickey replied and pushed his chair away from the counter to allow Ian acess.

Ian took a deep breath and walked behind the counter. He squatted down and put his jacket and back pack in the cubby below the register then stood up.

“I never noticed how much room there is down there? I bet you could fit a whole person down there and no one would notice. What do you think Gallagher?”

Ian glanced down at the space under the counter, Mickey was right there was a surprising amount of space.

“Yea they probably designed it like that for like a bomb threat or something” he said.

“Look at you smarty pants. I bet you're right like in school they say hide under your desk”

“Yea exactly” Ian replied. He walked over to the magazine rack and started straigtening them out. People would always grab a magazine and put it back in the wrong spot. It was busy work, but since Mickey had put the order away there was really nothing to do until todays order came in.

“Ay' I got something for you red” Mickey called out to him.

Ian warily walked over to the front counter.

“What?”

“It's your check. 2 weeks pay minus the 4 hours from yesterday” Mickey replied and handed him the envelope.

“Wait what?” Ian said in surprise. “You said I could leave”

Mickey nodded in agreement. “Yea I said you could leave. I never said I would pay you. Why the fuck would I pay someone for going home hm?”

“I just thought because of what happened and..”

Mickey stood up from the desk and walked over to him. He looked up at him with his blue eyes that Ian never noticed before were beautiful. He pushed the thought from his head quickly, he hated the man before him and no matter how pretty his eyes were it wouldn't change that fact.

“Listen kid. What happened yesterday is you decided to leave work 4 fucking hours early so I closed by myself and I did inventory by myself so don't fucking act like I should pay you for that” he snapped and poked him hard in the chest.

“Ok” Ian said defeated and averted his gaze.

Mickey stepped back and bit his lip staring at him thoughtfully.

“Look. You're a hard worker so here's what I'm going to do. You show me you deserve it and i'll throw and extra 1.50 to the hourly you got. What its like 9$?”

“10” Ian replied.

“Mm hmm ok. So how does 11.50 sound plus maybe we add on benefits after 90 days”

Ian had forgotten how he was feeling for a moment, it felt like he was having a professional conversation with his boss.

“You have benefits?”

Mickey laughed. “Yea man. Pretty good too, vision dental the whole 9 yards”

“Wow that's awesome” Ian replied and smiled.

Mickey smiled back at him. “I'm glad you think so. I'll get right on that change just as soon as you show me you deserve it”

There it was, that was what he was waiting for. What fucked up shit did Mickey want him to do today?

“How?” he said knowing he would regret it.

“I was thinking we could see if a person really does fit under the counter” Mickey replied and sauntered back behind the counter.. He watched as his boss undid his jeans and sat down.

“You coming Gallagher?” He looked up at him and cocked his head as if daring him to say no.

He told himself this wasn't that bad. A blow job for a better wage and benefits. No one else would ever know. He would though, he again felt dirt as he walked behind the counter and squatted down so he could crawl underneath. He was able to fit comfortably but he needed to be on his hands and knees.

Once he was situated Mickey looked down at him.

Mickey laughed, “Look at you on your knees like a good boy”

Ian turned away but Mickey reached his hand down and pulled his face up so they were looking a each other.

“None of that eyes closed crap. I want you to look at me this time” he said as he leaned back in his chair expectantly.

Ian knew he should reach into Mickey's pants but he couldn't bring himself to do it

 

He sat there on the ground, Mickey's eyes fixed on his. He hated being in this position, what the hell was wrong with him? He was southside but right now he was acting like a bitch. Gallaghers are tough. They don't let people push them around, he told himself.

 

"Well" Mickey looked at him.

He was not going to do this no way. He was nobodies bitch. "Fuck you and your benefits" Ian replied and pushed Mickey's chair away. He climbed out from under the counter and stood facing Mickey who looked..amused. Why was he amused?

Mickey started laughing.  
What the hell?"Why are you laughing? Whats so god damn funny?"

 Mickey laughed again and stood up straightening his jacket and collecting himself. "It's funny that you think you have a choice here red" he smiled and shook his head.

Ian knew now was the time. He needed to stand up for himself.  
"You know what Mickey. I'm going to go stock shelves. Which is my job not this" he gestured between the two of them.  
Mickey reached out and grabs his shirt tightly pulling him in close so that his mouth was to his ear

"Listen kid" he whispered "You know the drill. You either get on your fucking knees and blow me or get the fuck out of my store!" 

  
"No I'm not gonna do it and can't make me"

  
Mickey rubbed his bottom lip, then looked up at Ian as he undid his pants. "Come on Gallagher " he says ignoring the conversation.

  
"No!" Ian snapped and turned to leave.  
Mickey moved quickly and grabbed the boy by the arm. This surprised Ian , Mickey's grip was firm and he was pulling him back towards him.

"Kid this can go one of two ways and it's up to you. You can get on your knees and suck my dick and leave with a 2$ raise. Or you can grab your shit and fuck off. I don't really care what you do but stop wasting my time"

Ian was frozen in the moment. Fuck he needed this job, but really did he need it that bad?... Yes, Carl and Debbie both need braces and it was almost time to pay the property tax..fuck. He looked down at the ground and fiddled with his fingers nervously. He could feel Mickey's eyes on him. He glanced up at the guy. He was definitely attractive physically so at least there was that, he could be some fat slob. Ugh he still didn't want to do it. He'd never given head before. He had been blown plenty of times but he'd never done it himself. He was scared if he gave in what else could happen? It didn't matter anymore, he needed the money. He swallowed and lifted his head.  
"Okay" he said softly.

  
Mickey said nothing but walked back over to his chair behind the counter. He sat down and patted his leg.  
"Lets go"

  
Ian walked behind the counter and knelt down so he was back by the cubby facing the chair. Again he was looking up at Mickey. The man was staring at him expectantly with a raised brow.  
Ian carefully reached up and placed his hand in Mickey's undone jeans.

  
"It's not gonna bite you kid"

  
Ian took a deep breath and reached in Mickey's pants pulling out his fully hard cock. Ian looked at the size of Mickey's cock and he could not picture it fitting in his mouth. It was not the the biggest dick he'd seen but it had girth. He wondered how anyone could fit a penis in their mouth. Was there some kind of trick? He was still staring at it trying to figure out where to start when Mickey reached down and lifted his head.

  
"You gonna stare at it all day princess?"

  
"I've never done this. " Ian said quietly trailing his words.

  
"You serious?" Mickey looked at him curiously.

  
"Uh huh, I've only um.. gotten one"

  
"I'll make it easy for you then. Put your mouth on my cock and I'll walk you through the rest"

  
"Please I don't want to" Ian cried. He felt his pride slipping away again. Not only was he being forced into a sexual favor but now he was being taught how to do it. It was so demeaning

Mickey sighed. "Not this shit again. I'm not gonna say it again man." He licked his lips and stared down at him

Ian took a deep breath and placed his lips on the head of Mickey's cock. He felt the man stiffen at his touch. Now that he had his lips wrapped around Mickey he lowered his head slowly trying not to gag.

  
"That feels good Gallagher" Mickey moaned. He reached out and ran his fingers through Ian's hair eventually holding his head down. "I'm going to fuck that pretty little mouth of yours Gallagher and you..you just relax your throat and take it in" with that he shoved his head down further causing him to gag. He didn't have time to adjust because his mouth was now being invaded with the thrust of Mickey's cock. He could feel it touching the back of his throat and Mickey's grip grew tighter.  
"You like that red. Hmm?" Mickey groaned

  
Of course Ian didn't answer. He was busy trying not to choke. "Yea you like it. You like it so much your gonna swallow for me"

  
Ian knew what that was and did not want to. He tried to lift his head but Mickey just held him down tighter

  
"Fuck Gallagher here it comes"

Mickey moaned loudly and Ian felt the hot stream of cum coat his throat. He started to gag as Mickey let go of his head. Mickey stared at him so he swallowed. He never felt so dirty.  
He wiped his face and stood up quickly from the ground.  
"Can I please do my job now?" He looked over at Mickey who had buttoned his jeans and pulled out his phone.

"Hey one more thing..Selfie!" He smiled as he walked over to him and posed for the camera. "Ian smile" .

  
"Please I just wanna do my job Mickey" He heard the click of the camera.

 

"Yea whatever man. Get to work. It will take at least a week for your raise to show so don't get all pissy when it's not on this check" he said as he walked to the door to change the sign to open.

 

"Uh thanks?" Ian replied

  
"Don't thank me kid. You earned it"


	4. WARNING

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is not a chapter. Just wanted to remind everyone to please read all tags and warning before proceeding any further into my story. I do not condone any of the behavior i write, this is FICTION. That being said this is my kink ;).  
> TRIGGER WARNINGS  
> GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS  
> UNDERAGE  
> FORCED/NON CON RAPE  
> EMOTIONAL ABUSE  
> PHYSICAL ABUSE  
> You have been warned so don't bitch at me please.

..........


	5. Kiss Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey and Ian's relationship changes...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gets pretty steamy if i say so myself. It's crazy to see Mickey pov on what is going on with him and Ian. Can't wait to write the next chapter already. have to update another WIP though so maybe tomorrow. I've got sooo much in store for this super excited to have people who want to read it :) xoxo

This had been going on for a little over a week now. It seemed like they had gotten into a routine. Ian would come in at 4pm and put his stuff away, then he would give Mickey a blow job. After, he got up and went about the rest of his shift and they acted as if nothing had happened. Ian had gotten very, very good at giving head. He wasn't sure if he was imagining it but it seemed like the kid was actually enjoying himself as he swallowed his cock, if he was wrong he sure did a good job acting like he did. Ian never spoke to him during their little sessions but he didn't need to, occasionally Mickey would hear him let out a little “hmm” here and there as his lips enveloped him. He looked so sexy on the floor staring up at him with his green eyes, so innocent. At least they were, now they were filled with other emotions like confusion and hate. He knew Ian despised him but he was going to change that. He still needed to get the kid to fully submit to him before he could try but one day he would be his completely. He had so much he wanted to do with Ian, he was becoming obsessed. He looked forward to seeing the kid everyday, their time together was always the best part of his day.

He sat in his chair running his hands gently through Ian's red hair as the boy took him in. His hair was so soft and silky as it slid through his fingers. He glanced down at the boy who's face was flushed and eyes were closed.

“What did I say about closing your eyes man?”

He wanted to see Ian's eyes, they held so much emotion and Mickey wanted to drink it all in.

“Sorry” Ian replied wiping his mouth.

“Don't apologize, you're doing great. Feels fucking good Gallagher”

Ian glanced to the side then back up at him before placing his pink lips back over his cock. He watched as the boy moved his head up and down.

“Fuck” Mickey said leaning his head back. Just then he heard the door jingle.

“FUCK” he cried sitting up quickly. Ian had stopped moving but he still had his cock in his mouth. Mickey immediately was relieved when he saw who it was. It was some douchbag he had seen around the neighborhood. He always acted like he was better than everyone else. Mickey had an idea as the guy looked around. He reached under the counter and pushed on Ian's head signaling for him to continue. Ian stayed still.

“Get on with it” he whispered to Ian but it caught the other guys attention.

“Excuse me” the stranger said.

“I said can I help you?” Mickey replied. He could feel Ian again moving his head up and down and the thrill of someone being in the store was intense.

“Uh yea? Ian around?” the guy looks at him.

Who the fuck is this dude and why is he asking for Ian. He again feels the kid stop but reaches down and smacks hit head lightly causing him to quickly resume his pace.

“Who's asking?” Mickey replied.

“I'm his brother Lip. He told me he was working today and I need to talk to him”

“Lip? The hell kinda name is that?”

“Fuck you man have you seen my brother or not?”

“Why is he in trouble?”

Lip shook his head in frustration

“No he's not in trouble. It's about our dad Frank. Just have him call me if you see him” Lip said and turned to walk out the door. Mickey could feel himself about to finish

“Wait up” he called out causing Lip to turn around. He reached one hand under the counter to push Ian's head down and caress his hair as he talked.

“Frank is your dad huh? Like drunk Frank, I get high off of everything Frank?”

“Yea asshole that's our dad. He just so happens to be in the hospital and I thought Ian would want to know. Last time they talked Ian had been running his mouth about something stupid and they got into it pretty bad”

He squeezed Ian's hair tightly and shut his eyes for a brief second as he came down the boys throat. Ian had quickly learned how to swallow after the first time, he was becoming a pro all around.

“Uh you ok there dude, looks like you spaced out for a second” Lip looked at him curiously.

“Mm yea. I'm great. I will have Ian call you when I see him” Mickey replied trying to remain composed but feeling the after effects of his orgasm.

“Yea ok. Later ” Lip said and walked out the door.

 

“Holy fuck Gallagher. That was soo...that was just fuck man” he said pushing his chair back so Ian could crawl out from under the desk.

“You're sick Mickey” Ian said disgusted as he wiped his mouth.

“So you keep saying red” Mickey laughed and buttoned his jeans. He watched as Ian went over to the cooler and pulled out a pepsi. He took a long swig and sat it down on the floor. Normally he would make someone pay for that shit but Ian could have whatever he wanted. He would give that kid the moon if he would take it from him. He wouldn't now though, he still hated him so if a free pepsi was all he could give, he could have all the pepsi in the world.

He walked over to where the boy was standing rotating the cooler.

“What do you want Mickey” Ian looked over at him annoyed.

“Did you hear what your brother said about Frank?”

“Yes” Ian replied.

“You ok man?”

“I'm fine really. Just leave me alone so I can get some work done”

“He's in the hospital Ian, sure you don't wanna go check on him?” Mickey placed his hand on his back causing him to freeze for a moment. He managed to shrug him off then turned and looked him dead in the eyes.

“Don't pretend that you care Mickey. It's just another reason for you not to pay me again. Anyways Frank is not even my real father. He's a drunk piece of shit, who screws over everyone. I don't need to go check on him. I just want him out of my life ok."

Mickey felt bad immediately, he should have paid the kid for the rest of that fucking day, especially after their time together.

“Ok man jeez relax. I do care by the way. I know how it feels to have a piece of shit father. Mine is right up there at the top of the fucking list”

“Whatever” Ian rolled his eyes and turned back to his work.

“Fuck me for giving a shit man. Just trying to have an actual conversation” Mickey said defensively and turned to walk back to the register.

“Frank lost a bet and used his baby as collateral” Ian replied still staring into the cooler.

Mickey smiled, he could totally picture Frank doing something that fucked up. Plus Ian was talking to him. This was good. This was really good.

“Terry's gotten so drunk, he thinks my mom is still alive” Mickey replied. “She O'd like 6 years ago”

“One time Frank woke up in Mexico after being gone for 2 weeks and had to smuggle heroin in his ass to cross the border”

Mickey laughed “Oh my god man. What a fucking loser. How is it a cute, smart kid like you came from such a pathetic waste of life? No offence”

Ian laughed this time, it was short but the sound radiated through the store.

“None taken. I told you he's not my real dad. My mom fucked his brother and thus a son was made”

“That shits crazy”

“Don't even get me started on crazy” Ian replied.

Mickey really enjoyed this. He liked talking to Ian. He was down to earth and seemed to get him. He wished it could be like this all the time. One day it would, he was sure of it. A silence filled the room as Ian walked over to the next aisle and started rearranging the chips.

Mickey wasn't sure what to say to him now, they had lost their common ground and now were back to the awkward silence and weird glances towards one another.

Finally he decided to come out and say it. “So you're gay huh?”

Ian dropped the bag of chips and turned around, his hands crossed his chest.

“Are you seriously asking me this right now?”

Mickey reached behind him and rubbed his neck nervously. “I mean like your gay gay. You got like a boyfriend and shit, little dog with a fucking sweater?”

Ian shook his head “No man I don't have a fucking dog or a boyfriend. I'm 16”

“So? What does that have to do with anything?” Mickey replied.

“I'm not some old queen with a fucking dog” Ian replied.

Mickey felt like he insulted Ian, fuck. “That's not what I meant. Does your family know? Like are you out or whatever?”

Ian laughed again and uncrossed his arms.

“Yes Mickey my family knows. They are the first people I told. What about you?”

Mickey scoffed. “The fuck about me Gallagher?”

“You're gay. Does you're family know?” Ian replied his eyes fixed with Mickeys.

“I'm not fucking gay man”

Ian smiled and rolled his eyes “You're joking right? You don't think having a guys mouth on your dick is gay. News flash it is, you're a homo just like me”

He knew the kid was telling the truth. He had known he was gay for quite sometime but he had always been discreet. He always beat up his hook ups after so they knew not to talk. That is until Ian.

Ian came along and suddenly he had changed into a whole other person. He wanted to touch and hold and own every part of that kid. Fuck. He could not risk this getting out. His father would kill him if he found out he was gay. Shit he would kill them both. He stood up and walked over to Ian and pushed him against the shelf grabbing his wrists. He needed to make sure Ian stayed quiet.

“You need to watch your fucking mouth kid” he said, his tone was firm and serious.

“I just thought..”

“I don't give a fuck what you thought. You breath a word of this to anyone and I swear, being fired will be the least of your concerns” he replied harshly letting go of Ian's wrists. Ian looked at him with confusion then turned back to his shelf silently. Mickey stood there for a moment and rubbed his lip.

“Not everyone is as accepting as your fairy tail fucking family alright” he said quietly.

“If my dad found out about anything he would kill me himself. You hear me?” he turned to look at Ian who's eyes had softened.

“Yea. I hear you”

“You don't know what it's like living with someone like that red. You can't say anything to anyone ever I mean it”

“I won't Mick. I promise” Ian smiled at him, his eyes felt like they were piercing his soul in that moment.

Hearing his name said like that, coming from those pink lips was too much for him. He wanted to kiss the kid. He felt like they had just shared a moment. They did share a moment and it warranted a kiss. He thought about it briefly then decided fuck it. He reached over in one swift motion and latched his lips onto Ian's. It was heavenly, their lips fit perfectly together even if only for a second, before he knew it he was being pushed hard into the shelf.

“The fuck Gallagher” He snapped.

“Who do you think you are Mickey?” Ian replied wiping his mouth with his shirt. “You don't ever get to kiss me and fuck you for thinking you do. You might get me to do stuff for you but I will never kiss you” Ian's eyes were wide and passionate as he spoke. He didn't think it was such a big deal but apparently it was. He stood there quietly then glanced over at Ian who was staring at a bag of chips looking quite flustered as tears ran down his cheek.

“Are you ok man?”

Ian wiped the tears from his eyes then looked up at him. “Just leave me the fuck alone Mickey. Please, I just want to stock this shelf in peace” he cried.

“Alright” Mickey replied.

He walked back over to his counter and grabbed a magazine. He flipped through the pages trying his best not to stare at the boy.

 

Hours had gone by and Mickey felt like he was going to fall asleep. He looked over at Ian who was sweeping the floor, he watched as the boy let out a yawn causing him to do the same. It was 10pm. The store was officially closed and it was time to do inventory.

“Ay Gallagher?”

“What Mickey?” Ian said impatiently stopping his sweeping to glare at him.

The kid made him nervous sometimes, and now was one of those times.

“You hungry? I was gonna get some pizza and coffee. It's gonna be a long night”

“I don't care what you do” Ian replied and went back to sweeping.

“Come on man. I'm not gonna wait forever” Mickey replied. He knew Ian had to be hungry, the kid had not eaten anything since his shift started 6 hours ago.

“Fine. I want a burger not Pizza”

Mickey laughed and rubbed his nose “K. What kind?”

“Uh California burger with fries and iced t..” Ian looked at him as if waiting for him to object.

“Ok. Got it. Anything else?”

“No” Ian replied and turned to put the broom back in the closet.

“Ok then” Mickey smiled. He grabbed his scarf and jacket and headed out the door.

 

The bar was packed. All the burger joints were closed by this time but he knew this bar had something similar to what ian wanted. A California burger had avocado and sprouts. Fucking gross. Who puts all that crap on a burger anyway, he thought as he drank his beer. He was flipping through his phone when he came across the picture he took a week ago. Ian looked beautifuly stoic, his face was void of emotion but his eyes spoke volumes. He decided to make this picture his wallpaper, why not? He was slowly making progress with the kid. Soon enough he would give in and they would be together so what was the harm of having his picture. No one ever looked at his phone, plus it was locked so he really didn't need to worry. He stared thoughtfully at the picture and could remember the first time he saw the boy on his knees, he was so naive and innocent having never given head before. Honestly it was adorable how scared he was, Mickey was happy to show him and now the kid was a pro. He was fucking amazing. He knew he should feel bad, disgusted even at his actions, but he didn't. If someone had told him about this happening to someone else he would lose his mind on them and call them a pedophile and a pevert, so why didn't he feel that way. What he had was different. He knew he and Ian were meant to be together from the first moment he saw him. Sure he was younger but the heart wants what the heart wants. Ian didn't really give him a chance before shutting him down, but he would win him over. He was strong willed so he knew he would have to break him first but then he would build him up and win his heart.

“Order up”

Mickey nearly jumped out of his seat when he heard the burly voice, he was so lost in his thoughts.

He grabbed the food and drink carrier and walked out to his car. When he got to the store and opened the door he was surprised to see he was alone. Did Ian leave? Really? The kid did not quit, he couldn't not after everything, that would be really fucking stupid. He sat the food on the counter and hung up his jacket. Suddenly he heard a noise coming from the back of the store. He walked over and the light was on in the storage room. He opened the door to find Ian. Sitting on the table texting furiously on his phone. His back pack on the floor.

“What do we have here?” he said in a sing songy voice

Ian quickly put his phone in his pocket and turned to Mickey.

“Nothing just waiting for you, I got bored”

Micke knew he was lying. They'd only known each other for a few weeks but Mickey had a way of telling if people were lying.

“Really? I don't believe that at all. Who you texting red?”

Ian scoffed at the question. “I don't see how that's any of your business Mickey”

“You're in my store, on my dime texting. Of course it's my fucking buisness. Gimme your phone” He replied holding his hand out.

“This is not grade school, I'm not gonna give you my phone dude” Ian replied.

“Why you always gotta make things difficult kid.” Mickey said shutting the door behind him and walking up to the table. “Gimme the fucking phone or I'll take it myself” he whispered in Ian's ear, his arms straddling the boys chest.

“This is fucking stupid” Ian replied and pulled out his phone.

Mickey snatched it and went straight to the text messages. He went through and read the most recent thread. It was quite descriptive and frankly Mickey was impressed. Here he was thinking Ian Gallagher was some innocent kid and he was the big bad wolf but after reading these text, he knew there was nothing innocent about the kid.

“Wow Gallagher. You've got quite a night planned here” he said sarcastically.

“Just give it back”

“Nah wait, this is my favorite right here” Mickey replied before reading his message “ Then i'm going to fuck you so good that everytime you move you remembers who's my bitch”

 

“Bitch huh? Damn Gallagher, you really are a bad little boy aren't you?” Mickey shoved him playfully.

Ian sat there silently which annoyed him. Kid had so much to say to whoever the fuck this was but he couldn't get a reaction from him to save his life.

“Who the fuck you talking to anyways?” he said looking down at the boy and raising his brow

“Again none of your buisness” Ian replied. The balls on this kid. Mickey shook his head and sighed.

“Ian..” he started but was cut off.

“You can just fuck off Mickey I'm not going to tell you shit about my personal life.”

“Watch yourself Gallagher”

“No! It's none of your fucking business who I talk to you sick fucking closet case...”

He smacked the boy across the face, causing him to stare stunned. He surprised himself, he did not expect that at all but something about hearing those hateful words coming from Ian's innocent mouth made him lose it. The kid was quiet now. He was staring at the ground and playing with his fingers nervously.

“You gonna tell me now?” Mickey replied calmly.

“Ned” Ian said softly.

“Ned? Who's Ned?”

“He's the guy I've been seeing” Ian replied.

It took Mickey a moment but then he understood.

“No way..seriously Gallagher? That old fuck from the other day”

“He's nice, he buys me stuff and orders me room service” Ian said softly.

“So that all it takes hmm? Flash some cash and your ready to let some viagroid fuck you? That's kinda pathetic red”

Ian stood up quickly and pushed him catching him off guard “At least he's a real man unlike you. So what if he's older. He knows what I want and he gives it too me."

Mickey grabbed Ian's arm and wrapped it behind his back pushing him up against the wall.

“Is that right tough guy” he says pressing Ian into the wall more and more.

“Mickey your hu.”

“Shut up. You want to see what a real man can do Gallagher hmm? I'll fucking show you right now” he said reaching down and undoing Ians pants.

“I didn't mean it like that” Ian cried as his pants slowly slid down his legs.

“Doesn't matter now red. I'm gonna fuck you and your gonna take it like the good little slut we both know you are” Mickey replied as he pulled down Ian's boxers. He massaged the boys flacid penis between his fingers until it started to become erect.

“See that kid. That means you like it” he whispered.. He let go of Ian's arm but kept it pressed behind him with his chest.

He quickly pulled down his jeans, and his boxers letting his hard cock spring free. He reached down and grabbed Ian's firm ass kneeding it with his fingers.

“Mickey please don't”

“Your wasting your breath Gallagher. You're gonna need it to call my name later” he rubbed his hard cock between the boys butt cheeks, he could feel Ian's whole body tense up as he grinded against him.

“You got anything in the bag of yours kid” Mickey leaned his head forward to look at Ian. His face was flushed crimson and his eyes were watery. He looked away from Mickey.

“I'm only asking for you not me so, it's your ass not mine” Mickey replied and went back to grinding again Ian's soft flesh.

“Front pocket” Ian said almost in audible.

Mickey reached down and unzipped the front pocket of his backpack. There was the tube of KY Jelly from the last time.

“That's ironic” he said to himself.

He squeezed some lube onto his finger, then coated his dick with the rest.

He parted the boys cheeks to reveal his hole. It was begging him to fuck it but he didn't wanna hurt the kid too bad so he decided some foreplay would be best.

He stuck a finger inside Ian causing the redhead to jump.

“Yea, your pretty fucking tight red” he said as he swirled his finger in a circle. He added another finger then used his other hand to jerk Ian's cock.

“That feels good doesn't it” he whispered in Ian's ear.

Ian squeezed his eyes shut and looked away from Mickey.

Mickey slapped his ass hard causing him to to cry out.

“What the hell?”

Mickey grabbed his face and turned it towards him. “I told you not to close your fucking eyes anymore didn't I?”

Ian nodded and stared absently at the wall. Mickey was ready, he wan't getting anywhere with the fingering, he knew the kid liked it but he was playing it off really well.

“Alright Gallagher. I'm gonna show you how a real man fucks. How a real man makes someone his bitch. You ready?”

It was a retorical question. He didn't care if Ian was ready he just wanted to fuck him, not just for the feeling of being inside but he knew after this he would have him. He would make sure of it.

He lined the head of his cock with the boy's entrance and slowly pushed in. He had barely gotten passed the head before he had to stop. Ian's virgin ass was so tight, he felt like he was going to lose it right there. “mmm” he moaned as he pushed himself into the boy as far as he could go until he was met with resistance.

“Relax red.” he said and ran his finger down the side of Ian's face “It will hurt less if you relax trust me”

He felt Ian's breathing change, he could tell the kid was trying to relax but he was terrified.

“I'm gonna fuck you now.” Mickey said in a reassuring tone, he really didnt want to hurt Ian but he was going to fuck him. He pushed in further and could hear the kid whimper as he bottomed out.

“Fuck” he sighed.

“Jesus fucking christ Gallagher your ass is fucking perfect” he moaned. It was, Ian fit around him like a glove, he was warm and wet and so very fucking tight. He waited a moment before he pulled out and thrust back in..

“Uh” Ian cried as Mickey penetrated him again. The sound was music to his ears, he wanted to hear more. He continued to move in and out trying to get another sound to escape the boys lips.

He could tell Ian was holding back and he wanted him to let go. He picked up his pace and began to fuck the kid faster and harder.

“Fuck..uh..fuck” Ian cried as Mickey thrust deep into him.

“Yea that's right Gallagher. You like this don't you?” Mickey kissed Ian's neck as he slammed in and out.

“Uh..uh ...Mm” Ian moaned and Mickey saw him bite his lip.

Mickey thought he was going to cum just from the sounds Ian was making but he was not ready to end this. He wanted more.

“You dirty little whore. You like it when I fuck you hard don't you”

Ian didn't answer just kept letting out soft moans and small grunts. That was no longer enough for Mickey he wanted to hear his voice. He thrust into him hard and deep

“Ah” Ian called out in surprise.

Mickey leaned in closer and bit the kids ear causing him to lift his neck

“I asked you a question. You like it when I fuck you like a like the dirty whore you are”

Ian shut his eyes and looked away.

Mickey slammed his whole body into him so that he was harshly pressed up against the wall.

“Answer me” he said thrusting into him again.

“Yes” Ian cried.

“Yes what?”

“I like when you fuck me” Ian replied breathlessly

“Like the good little whore you are”

“Yes like the whore I am”

Mickey lessened his weight and moved his hand down to Ian's waist. He pulled him back onto his cock, to match every thrust

“So fucking good Ian. You're so fucking sexy and tight. You're gonna be my bitch now.. What do you think of that?” he said digging his fingers into the boys waist as he fucked him.

“No” Ian cried.

“What was that mumbles?” Mickey replied.

“Uh fuck.. fuck..I ...I said no” Ian panted

“Yea that wasn't really a question kid. Your ass” he thrust in hard and deep “Is mine”

Ian craned his head back the more Mickey fucked him. He could tell the kid was gonna cum soon.

“Say it Ian. Say you're my bitch” he said as he found Ian's prostate causing the kid to stop holding back as he hit it over and over again.

“Fuck yes..yes”

“Say it” Mickey snapped and smacked his ass hard

“I'm your bitch ..fuck..”

“That's right. And your gonna do whatever I want, when ever I want right?” Mickey said slowing down causing the kid to whimper, he knew he was so close.

“Yes, please fuck me”

“Your mine now aren't you” he said and picked up the pace

“Yes...uh..yes”

Mickey could not believe his ears. He didn't even plan this but it was going perfectly. Better than he imagined. 

“You gonna be my good little boy Ian?” Mickey moaned. He looked down and saw his dick thrusting in and out of Ian's hole, it was such a sight to see himself moving in and out of the kid, his balls slapping against his ass.

“You know what happenes if you don't?”

“Fire..fire me”

“We are way past that now kid. Your mine now, if your bad I will have to punish you, and you don't want me to punish you do you?"

“No please I wanna..”

“Yea I bet you wanna cum you dirty bitch” he reached around and grabbed the kids leaking cock and stroked it back and forth and he fucked his ass.

“I'm gonna cum” Ian cried

“Say my name” Mickey demanded.

“What?”

“Say my fucking name bitch” he said and slapped his ass again.

“Mickey. Fuck I'm gonna cum Mickey fuck” that was it he came inside the boys ass just as he felt the hot liquid squirt onto his hands from Ian. He stroaked Ian's dick until he completley spent.

“Jesus fucking christ Red. You are one hell of a lay” he said grabbing a towel from the pile on the floor and wiping his dick and hands. “Get yourself cleaned up. It's late we can do inventory tomorrow” he said and buttoned his pants. He felt something in his pocket and pulled out the phone.

“Here” he said tossing Ian his phone. The kid grabbed it and shoved it into his pocket. He watched as Ian wiped himself off and threw the towel on the floor before pulling up his pants.

“Come on, foods gotta be cold by now. Don't know about you but I'm fucking starving” Mickey said holding out his hand. Ian looked at him then back to the floor. He grabbed his backpack and swung it over his shoulder, then grabbed Mickey's hand. Ian would not look at him. He ate his food silently and stared at the ground. Mickey had seen enough for one night.

“Let me give you a ride home red. It's too late for you to be out by yourself”

“I'll be fine” Ian replied as he threw his trash away.

“You're too cute man. That wasn't a question. Gimme your address”

Ian sighed and gave him his address.

“Wallace St? No shit, you're like a few blocks from me. Small world” he laughed.

Ian stood there with his arms crossed as Mickey set the alarm.

“Alright let's go”

The two walked outside and over to Mickey's car.

He unlocked the door and climbed inside, Ian stayed standing next to the door. He rolled down the window “Gallagher get your.....”

Ian started to walk away from him “Ay. Get your ass in here now. Don't make me get you man” Mickey laughed but he was very serious.

Ian walked over to the door and opened it plopping down inside,

Mickey started to drive away “Don't do that shit again” he said softly and turned on the radio.

Ian looked at him “What?"

“Walk away when I'm talking to you, or make me repeat myself. None of that shit got it”

“Ok” Ian said and stared out the window.

They pulled up to his house and Mickey was surprised, the house didn't look half bad. Not like his house that screamed ghetto.

“I'll see you tommarow” Mickey said

“Yep” Ian replied and went to open the door.

He couldn't help himself, he needed to be sure he had Ian where he wanted him so he asked.

“Hey”

“What Mickey?” Ian sighed.

“Lose the attitude”

“I'm sorry. I'm tired. What's up”

“Kiss me” he replied his blue eyes fixed on green.

Ian stood there for a second before leaning in kissing him on the lips. It was short and chaste and everything Mickey needed at the moment.

“See you tomorrow red” he replied and drove off into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will have Mandy! Ian doesn't know she's related to Mickey, and he doesn't meet her at school but they do become close friends :).


	6. I Hate You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian confronts Mickey. Again please read tags if you are new to story this story contangs a lot of graphic non con/ forced kink so you have been warned again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thak you for the support, this chapter got away from me, it is a little long, i had to just stop so sorry for the abrupt ending. I will have another up tommarow. Thank you jessica92 for being my muse. You are my writing soul sister. A huge part of the confrontation on Ian's end was created by jessica92 so kudo for capturing ian in ways that i cant. I hope you enjoy.

Mickey felt like he was floating on air as he walked around the store doing inventory. They were supposed to do this last night but other things happened instead so he was more than happy to start working on it now. He had a restless sleep, normally that would be bad but he was actually ok with it. His dreams were filled with flashes of red hair and the voice of Ian Gallagher saying his name... Mickey Fuck... He could listen to those words all damn day. He couldn't believe it really happened. It was not at all how he had expected it to go that was for sure. In his head he had pictured it being more romantic and honestly Ian initiating it. Things don't always go as planned though. He wasn't sure why the way Ian had spoken to him had gotten him so riled up but in the end it was worth it. Just like he told him Ian was begging to be fucked in the end and that is how Mickey pictured it. It was only 12pm and he was counting down the hours until 4pm. He was so fucking high on Ian Gallagher, everything about the kid was perfect. He was so free and fierce and Mickey loved being able to control him. It was like caging a wild animal to observe its beauty, except he never planned on releasing Ian back into the world to share. He was his. Mickey had always been the person you don't say no to but that was always business. This was different. Ian had spunk and quite the attitude. He liked that, he loved a challenge. Something about seeing that spark that fire grow smaller and smaller just turned him on. He couldn't help if the sensation of controlling someone else completely got him off, it just how he was. He had no control of his life at home. His dad said jump he said how high, that's just how it went. His brothers listened to him because he was fucking smart and knew his shit even though he was the youngest but he still didn't have control over the business, he just helped make decisions. Sure people were scared of him, but that came with the Milkovich name. It wasn't until that red haired, freckled face kid popped into his store begging him for a job that he felt any sense of power. Once he was able to get Ian into the back room the first time he knew he was done for, that was the moment he knew he wanted to own this kid, his mind and his body. He loved hearing a no turn into a yes when it came from Ian even if it was a reluctant or a forced yes. It triggered a primal side he didn't even know he had seeing the boy try to decide then give in and become this submissive sexy little toy it was ...Fuck he was getting hard just thinking about it. He needed to think of something else if he was ever going to get any work done. Between working with Ian and thinking about Ian he had been letting his responsibilities slide and he needed to catch up. He adjusted himself and tried to think of anything besides Ian Gallagher.

“Hey assface”

That was just what he needed. He couldn't think of a better distraction than the shrill voice of his bitch sister.

“Mandy. The fuck are you doin here?” he said walking over to his chair and setting his clipboard down on the counter.

“I was just at the tattoo parlor with Iggy thought I’d stop in and say hi” she replied.

“You getting new ink?”

“Nah Iggy is though. He's still there I wasn't gonna wait around for fuck knows how long” she replied and walked over to the cooler. She grabbed a Sierra Mist out of the cooler and took a swig.

“Ay bitch you gonna pay for that?”

She smiled at him like he was an idiot for asking. She walked back over to the counter and Mickey had to take a second glance at what she was wearing. She had on boots with a black mini skirt and a backless halter top. Since when did System of a Down make halter tops? That really looked like his shirt. Seriously fuck..that was his shirt.

“What the fuck Mandy? What did you do to my shirt” he snapped standing up and walking over to his sister.

“Oh this” she smiled “I made it into a halter top. It's nice right?”

Mickey buried his hands in his face in frustration then shook his head.

“No it's not nice, bitch this was my favorite shirt and now” he reached out and touched the material where it was cut at the bottom.

“I had no clean clothes but then I saw this. You have like a ton of t-shirts I didn't think you would even notice”

“Why didn't you just leave it how it was and wear it. This is from a fucking concert Mandy!” he replied irritated.

“It’s such a beautiful day and I wanted a halter top. I saw this great video on youtube and it inspired me”

“Are you fucking serious?” Mickey ran his hand through his hair and licked his lip “Stay the fuck outta my room and leave my shit alone got it” he yelled and plopped back down in his chair. He couldn't believe that bitch. This is why he couldn't have nice things. Everything he liked or loved always got destroyed.

“I can't believe this shit” he mumbled shaking his head.

“Don't be a baby Mickey. I brought you a present” she replied and reached into her shirt. She pulled out a joint and tossed it on the counter.

His sister was too much man, she pulled the joint out her top. “Mandy can you not rub your skanky body parts on shit that we are gonna smoke please.” he sighed and grabbed the joint.

He placed it in his mouth and grabbed a lighter from the stand on the counter.

“Ay, flip the sign and lock the door” he said with the joint between his lips. Mandy got up a closed the store. Mickey took a deep drag of the joint and passed it to his sister.

“So....” she says lingering on her words.

“What?” Mickey replied staring at her with wide eyes.

“Did you finally hire someone?” she took a drag and blew the smoke through her nose

“Yea” Mickey replied and snatched the joint from her hands “Been working here for 3 weeks now”

She laughed and flipped her long black hair over her shoulder “Wow you haven't scared them away yet. I'm impressed. Looks like someone’s losing his touch”

“Fuck off” Mickey replied giving her the finger.

“Guy or girl”

“It’s a dude”

“Is he cute?” she said with a smirk on her face.

“How the fuck would I know bitch. Take that skanky ass somewhere else you're not gonna bang my employee”

“You’re just jealous” she replied and rolled her eyes.

“The fuck would I be jealous for?”

“Because everybody loves me and no one loves you” she laughed blowing weed smoke in his face.

“Oh that, yea super jealous. Everyone loves you bitch cause your easy”

Mandy punched him in the shoulder “Take that back” she yelled.

Mickey laughed and stood up from the chair grabbing the joint and placing it in his mouth “Ay I call em like I see em.”

His sister flipped him off this time. “Yea yea..it's time for you to fuck off Mandy. I gotta air the place out and open the store. Some of us actually have shit to do besides fucking off all day”

“Note to self don't visit Mickey at work and smoke him up cause he is an asshole who only cares about himself”

“You already knew that, now get outta here”

“Fine, I gotta go see Jaime anyways then come all the way the fuck back here to meet Iggy...Uggh we need a car!” Mandy huffed. She hopped down from the counter and mosied over to the snack aisle. She grabbed a bag of cool ranch Doritoes, a bag of jerky and a pack of gum.

Mickey shook his head as he watched his sister leave with the fucking store.

“Stupid bitch” he mumbled and grabbed his clipboard returning back to inventory.

 

….........................................................................................................................................................

 

Ian stared absently at the platform in front of him waiting for the L. It was already 4pm but he didn't care if he was late. It took everything he had to convinve himself to even go to work but his family came first before his pride. He could not stop thinking about last night. Everything changed in a matter of minutes. One minute he was texting Ned making late night plans the next minute...the next minute he found himself pressed against a wall being fucked by Mickey Milkovich. He had not expected it at all. All the signs should have been obvious that was the guys ultimate goal, to fuck him but still it just didn't seem like something he would really do. He knew the guy had control issues that was made known early on. He also knew that his age didn't seem to bother him, it didn't bother Ian either age never did but he was still surprised. He thought back to when he applied for the job, 15 was too young to hire but 16 was not to young to fuck..that's some messed up logic. He still had not wrapped his head around the fact that Mickey was gay, sure he teased him about it, but he couldn't imagine growing up with Terry Milkovich as a father and turning out gay. He was though, Mickey was as gay as they come and as closeted. He knew he should have just waited until he got home to text Ned but something about being alone in the store just sparked his interest. It all happened so fast, yet seemed to last forever. He could still picture the look on Mickey's face as he read his text message. The guy was surprised that he Ian Gallagher could actually be a dominant person. It didn't suprise him, Mickey had to be the most controlling, self absorbed person he had ever met. He just assumed because he had the upperhand in that moment that Ian would do whatever he said when ever he said it. Who the hell thinks like that? He actually called him his bitch. He was nobody's bitch, certainly not Mickey's. He shivered at the thought of how he reacted last night. His body had betrayed him and he made a complete fool of himself. He said things he would never say let alone mean.

He was pulled from his thoughts briefly as the train approached. He stepped on and found a seat in the back next to some chick with headphones. He decided that was a good idea and pulled out his headphones. He tried to let the sound of Korn drown out his thoughts but the song that was playing just dove him in deeper. All he could think about is how much he hated Mickey. He couldn't believe he let the guy touch him at all. He should have stood up for himself harder the first time, like the guy was really going to fire him. That was just some sick mindfuck he was using to get what he wanted. Ughh he could not believe he begged Mickey to fuck him. The thought that he gave in to the asshole made him sick to his stomach. The song he was listening to just fueled his emotions as he sat there staring out the window. Each stop getting closer and closer to the store.

 

“This state is elevating  
As the hurt turns into hating  
Anticipating  
All the fucked up feelings again  
The hurt inside is fading  
This shit's gone way too far”

 

It was true, this has gone way to far. He had let Mickey control him for long enough. He was not a toy to be played with when it was convenient. He was a person damn it, and he deserved respect. He didn't deserve to be feeling like this. He shouldn't be worried about what fucked up thing his boss had on his mind every time he went to work. This was bullshit!

 

“All this time I've been waiting  
No, I cannot grieve anymore  
For once inside awaking  
I'm done, I'm not a whore  
You've taken everything and  
Oh, I cannot give any more”

 

He shouldn't have to hate himself because his body betrayed him and made him say things that made it so he couldn't look in the fucking mirror. He was not a whore damn it. He was not existing purely for Mickey's entertainment. The guy had his fun, he got what he wanted so now there's no reason for him to keep bothering him. He is gonna tell Mickey enough is enough. He's gonna tell him to leave him the fuck alone. He's not gonna just stand there and take it anymore, if Mickey didn't like it he could fuck off, he legally could not fire him and if he tried anything he was ready to kick his ass. He was South Side, he could handle some asshole who lived in the closet. Just let him try something again he would show him what he was really made of, fucking sick bastard. Fuck.. He was done, he was over it. He was nobodies bitch.

 

He felt a tap on his shoulder and it made him flinch pulling him away from the music and his minds rant. He pulled out his earphones and turned to see the same girl who was sitting next to him staring at him curiously.

“You ok there cutie?” she looked at him and smiled.

Ian was surprised by the question. Why wouldn't he be ok? “Uh yea...I'm fine” he replied

“I just saw you over there cracking your knuckles, doing some weird shit with your neck and mumbling to yourself, thought maybe you were having a seizure” she replied.

Shit..It all made sense now. He must have been so into his thoughts and the song that he didn't realize he was actively cracking his knuckles or his neck. He certainly didn't realize he was talking to himself. He laughed and looked over at the girl “I'm so sorry if I freaked you out, I must have looked pretty crazy huh?”

She smiled and popped a piece of gum in her mouth “Yea kinda”

Ian blushed, he was pretty embarassed. “I'm sorry about that just having a bad day you know”

“It's ok, where I come from crazy is the norm. Everyone has bad days”

Ian liked this girl. She was sweet. She had long black hair and stunning blue eyes that he found earily familiar. She had streaks of pink in her hair and was wearing a System shirt.

“Eyes up here perve” she snapped

Ian blushed again “Oh my god no..I was..I was looking at your top not your...you like System?”

The girl eyed him cautiously then blew a gum bubble and popped it in her mouth. “Yup sure do”

“That's cool. My name is Ian.” he said and reached his hand out. The girl gave him a weird smile and took his hand like it was a strange custom to introduce yourself with a handshake.

“Mandy” she replied.

“Well it's nice to meet you Mandy. I promise I’m not a psycho pervert”

Mandy laughed and kicked his shoes playfully. “If you say so Ian. I can tell if you're lying you know. Plenty of liars in my neighborhood”

That was the second time she mentioned where she lived and now Ian was curious. “Where are you from?” he said wrapping his headphones into a bundle and shoving them in his back pack.

“Back of the yards” Mandy replied and swept her black hair behind her shoulder.

“No shit. You’re South Side? Me too” he smiled at the girl who returned the gesture.

He glanced up and could see his stop coming up, he was disappointed he was enjoying time with Mandy. She was refreshing and sweet and he kinda needed that right now.

“My stops next so maybe we'll see each other again” he said grabbing his backpack off the floor.

“You promise you're not a serial killer?” she looked at him, her face serious.

He put his hand over his heart. “I promise I am not a serial killer”

“Fine, gimme your phone” she replied.

He'd be lying if those words didn't send a chill down his back but he tried his best to shake it off. He unlocked his phone and handed it to the girl. She put her number in and handed it back to him.

He had arrived at his stop. He stood up and walked over to the door. “Bye Mandy”

The girl smiled and waved “Bye Ian. Text me!”

“I will” he replied then hopped of the train.

 

He was only a few blocks from the store but he was ready. He was jazzed up and ready for a fight. He had a plan he would go inside and walk up to the counter and tell Mickey off. The guy probably wouldn't even expect if after last night. He was going to put him in his place and show him that he was more than just some sick fantasy this guy had, he was a person..

He approached the door and suddenly felt his stomach lurch. Fucking nerves. Why was he so nervous. He knew what he wanted to say, just go inside and say it. He shook his hands out to try to get himself back in the right mind frame, he cracked his knuckles again and that made him feel kinda badass. “Alright, lets fucking do this” he said aloud as he walked into the store.

 

“Gallagher nice to see you.” Mickey said not looking up from his magazine. “You know your shift starts at 4 not 4:30 right?”

 

Ian said nothing. Instead he sat his backpack on the floor with his jacket and walked over to the counter. Mickey glanced up at him “I asked you a fucking question man, did you not hear me?”

Ian stood as tall as he could and went for it. “Yea I heard you Mickey but guess what, I dont care. Just because you think you have control over everything doesn't mean that you do”

Mickey looked up at him and smirked as he closed his magazine “Looks like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning ay Gallagher. You really think it's a good idea coming in here all guns a blazin' talking to me like that”

“Shut up I’m not finished” Ian snapped.

That caused Mickey to stand up and walk over to the door. He watched as he flipped the sign around and locked the door. He felt a chill but tried to ignore it.

“You don't need to do that because we are done here. Nothing else is ever happening between us, I’m done being your fucking puppet. You can take this job and shove it for all I care because I'm no WHORE! You think you got power Mickey? You think you have control, as if you disgusting, closeted freak. You're just a scared little thug with daddy issues hiding behind your name” he yells.

Mickey walks to the front of the counter and leans against it. He rubs his nose and his eyes are wide and fixed on him. He tells himself not to back down to keep going.

“You think you scare me? You think you can scare me into submission well fuck that. I'm done with that and I'm done with you, you piece of shit. Does it make you feel powerful, does it make you feel like a big man hmm? It would almost be laughable if it wasn't so pathetic” He was waiting for Mickey to do something or say something. Mickey licked his lips and glanced at the ground for a second before meeting his gaze again. His eyes were taunting him, just staring at him not saying a god damn word. What the fuck? This was making him angry. It was like he was yelling at a wall. Mickey had found yet another way to fucking invalidate him. That was it.

“Fuck you Mickey.” he said walking up to the guy. Mickey stood up straight as he approached but it didn't scare him, he was in too deep to back down “You want a bitch huh?” he poked him in the chest “That's what you want Mickey. Well take a look in the fucking mirror cause the only bitch I see here is you” he yelled then swung at him. He landed a punch on his jaw and fuck did it hurt. He backed up quickly anticipating a punch back. Mickey didn't do anything in fact he didn't seem too phased at all. He held his hand over his mouth for a second and shook his head looking at the ground.. He looked up at Ian and started walking towards him. He knew he had to stand his ground so he didn't back away.

“Are you done now or is there more?” Mickey said calmly and looks at him like he's a child.

“Seriously! What the fuck?” Ian yells and punches him in the chest. “Fuck you, you asshole!” he yells and continues punching him. He loses control and punches Mickey over and over in the chest, each blow getting weaker and weaker. He starts realizing this is not going anywhere and he can feel himself start to break down as he punches Mickey again. “I hate you, don't you get it. I fucking hate you” he cries and goes to punch Mickey again. This time Mickey grabs his hands and pulls him in close. “You feel better now kid?” he says softly. That does it, he feels his body go limp as he falls to his knees. He feels so tiny in this moment. His plan had failed miserably and now he was right back where he started. He doesn't want to show weakness but he can't bring himself to move. Suddenly he feels himself being lifted up from the ground and being thrown over Mickey’s shoulder.

“What the fuck ? Put me down” He shouts hitting Mickey's back with his fist.

“You lied Gallagher” Mickey says as he climbs the stairs.

What does he mean he lied? Where are they going?

“You said you were gonna be a good boy” Mickey replies as he pulls out his keys and unlocks a door.

Ian is shocked when they walk into an apartment. Holy shit there was an apartment here? Didn't Mickey say he lived by him? Did he live here? Why was he bringing him here?

“Fuck you Mickey put me down asshole” he yells as Mickey walks past what appears to be the kitchen, then the bathroom.

“As you wish” Mickey replies and throws him down onto a bed.

He looks around the room frantically, he feels like he's dreaming. Moments ago he was in the store crying on the floor now here he was on a bed in Mickey's apartment. There is a camera pointed at the front door and another at the register. He watches as Mickey locks the door behind him with a key.

“What the hell Mickey? Where the fuck are we? Whose apartment is this? ” Ian yells and jumps off the bed.

“Relax kid. We are still at the store. This is the owners pad. They gave me the key so I can stay here whenever I want” Mickey smiled at him and sat down on the bed.

 

 

Mickey watched as Ian looked around frantically. He was quite surprised by the kids earlier outburst. He had said somethings to him that normally people would get beat down for but Ian was special. He was his and he knew it. Ian just didn't get it yet and that wasn't his fault. Sure he had thought he made his point before but he should have known better than to take words to heart in the moment of ecstasy. He sat on his bed watching Ian try to digest the situation, it didn't seem like he was getting very far.

“Sit down kid” Mickey said and patted the mattress next to him.

“Are you out of your fucking mind man, let me go” Ian yelled as he tried to open the door.

“You can knock yourself out doing that, it's fucking locked” Mickey replied.

“Come the fuck on Mickey this isn't funny. I didn't mean what I said ok please let's just go downstairs and open the store. I just wanna do my job man” Ian shouted at him and kicked the door.

“I think you did mean what you said Gallagher. I think you meant every single word” he replied and pulled his pack of cigarettes out of his jacket pocket. He put one in his mouth then reached for the lighter on the night stand next to the bed. He took a drag and exhaled through his nose as he spoke

“That's why were up here. I plan on showing you just how wrong you are”

He took another drag from his smoke and waited for his words to sink in. Ian turned to look at him.

“What is wrong with you man? Did someone fuck you up as a kid so now you get off on torturing people, or did daddy not love you enough so now you feel the need to control everything?”

Ok. He gave the kid a free pass downstairs but that was the second time he mentioned his dad and that was a sore spot. He put his smoke out in the ashtray next to the bed and stood up walking over to Ian.

“Who the fuck do you think you are talking to me like that kid? Hmmm?” he said slamming his hand into the door next to Ian’s face.

“I gave you a pass downstairs because you were clearly needing to get shit out of your fucking system but you've got another thing coming if you think you can talk to me like that and get away with it” he looked at Ian who had clearly lost his mind because the kid was fucking smiling, no he was laughing. He took a few steps back and looked at Ian again “The fuck are you laughing at?”

Ian looked at him, his eyes were red from crying “You Mickey. I'm laughing at you. You don't scare me so stop trying to, like I said before it's pathetic”

Wow ok. So this is how this was gonna go. This is the game he wanted to play. Alright then. “Ok” Mickey said softly then reached out and grabbed Ian firmly by the back of the neck.

“Let..”

“Shut up” Mickey replied and tossed him face first into the mattress.

Mickey climbed onto the bed so that he was directly above him. Ian had rolled over so now he was on his back staring up at him and trying to push him away.

“Get the fuck off of..”

Mickey smacked him across the face hard “I said shut the fuck up Gallagher” he snapped.

Ian went quiet but continued to try and push him off. Mickey sat on his waist so that he could only move his arms. He reached down and grabbed the bottom of the boys shirt and slowly lifted it up over his head.

Fuck his skin was so soft. It was painted with freckles and there was the smallest bit of curly red hair on his chest. He ran his hand down Ian's side and the boy stilled at his touch. This was the first time he was actually up close and personal with his chest. He had him take his shirt off before but that was brief and rushed. He had decided the moment he flipped the sign around that he was closing the shop for the day, so there was no rush here. None at all. He looked down at Ian who had stopped squirming and was now staring blankly at the wall. He grabbed his face so that he was looking up at him. He leaned down and kissed his chest gently. “How many times” he said kissing random places on his chest “Do I have to tell you to look at me” he said and stared into Ian's green eyes. He could tell Ian wanted to look away but he didnt. He stared back at him. He kept his gaze fixed with his and slowly climbed off of his legs. He stood up from the bed,

“Take of your pants” he said firmly their eyes still locked together.

Ian shook his head “Fuck you”

Mickey rolled his eyes “Ian take off your pants” he said again.

Ian continued to ignore him. “Fine” Mickey replied. He grabbed Ian’s feet and pulled him down so his legs were dangling off the bed.

He reached down to undo Ian's belt but the kid reached for his hands “Don’t....don't touch me” he said.

Mickey tillted his head and looked at the boy “You know the fucking drill red, if you don't want me to do it you need to do it” he said and ran his finger down the boys chest. His skin rippled with goosbumps at the sensation.

Ian looked up at him and slowly began to undo his belt. Mickey took a step back to watch.

“That's nice gallagher, nice and slow like that”

“I hate you” he said quietly.

Mickey was getting annoyed with the boys sass “How about you stop fucking talking and take off your damn pants before I do it for you”

He watched as Ian moved to his jeans, his fingers fumbled around the button which Mickey found super sexy for some reason.. He could tell the boy was nevous. Finally he undid his jeans.

“Come on take em off” he said sweetly encouraging the kid.

Ian slowly pulled his pants down so that they were around his legs leaving only his boxers.

Mickey grabbed the bottom of the boys jeans and pulled them down over his legs tossing them on the floor.

“Fuck Gallagher” he sighed as he drank in the sight before him.

Ian was laying on his bed in nothing but his boxers. The V in his pelvis dipping perfectly under the thin material. His chest was sculpted like a statue even though he was only 16. The kid was fucking sexy as hell and for once he had not broken eye contact. That was so important to Mickey. Mickey pulled of his shirt and tossed it aside. He undid his jeans and kicked them off onto the ground. He was already hard just from staring at Ian. He walked over to the kid. “Stand up” he said firmly. Ian looked confused but stood up so now they were face to face. Mickey ran his hands down Ian's shoulders, taking in the feel of his soft skin. He leaned in and kissed the boys neck causing him to inhale sharply.

“Oh yea?” Mickey said and did it again. This time Ian pulled away from him.

“Still not gonna admit you like it hmm? That's ok we both know you will” he replied moved his hands down to Ian’s boxers.

He slipped his hand under the thin material and grasped the boys dick. To his delight it was wet with precum, he wondered if Ian knew how his body was reacting.

“Look at you red. All nice and wet for me” he said pulling his hand out and wiping it on the boys lips. Ian tried to turn away but Mickey latched his lips on him and pulled him in close so that the salty taste mingled with his saliva as his tounge entered the boys mouth. He pulled away and Ian quickly wiped his lips and spit on the ground.

“See now that hurts my feelings” Mickey replied and caressed the side of his face.

Ian glared at him and he could tell he had something to say. “Go ahead red spit it out”

“You're fucking disgusting” he said and spit on the ground again.

“And you my sexy boy are a broken record” he said placing his hand back inside Ian’s boxers. He moved his hand back and forth over Ian’s shaft, the wetness from the boys precum made it glide effortlessly. He reached up stuck his finger from his free hand into the boys mouth, surprising him with the intrusion. ''Get it nice and wet for your sake” he said as he continued to stroke Ian’s now hard cock. Ian stared at him with his finger in his mouth but did nothing “I suggest you start sucking red” he said and kissed the boys neck. Ian rolled his eyes then started to suck on his finger

“Kid your mouth is..fucking perfect” Mickey sighed as he squeezed the head of the boys cock with fingers.

“Uh” Ian opened his mouth causing Mickey’s finger to fall out covered in saliva.

“That’s it. You know it feels good” Mickey replied softly.

He moved his hand underneath Ian’s boxers and squeezed his ass cheek causing him to jump.

“Relax it's ok” Mickey said as he moved his fingers over the boys entrance. He took the one finger and pressed it into him slowly letting his body take him in.

“Shit” Ian cried at the intrusion.

His ass was so tight and warm all he could think about was filling it with his cock but first he wanted to make Ian say his name again. He needed to hear him say his name again. Mickey swirled his finger back and forth looking for the the sweet spot. He stuck in another finger and slowed down his rhythm on Ian’s cock. He swore he heard the boy sigh when he stopped but he was more concerned about making him moan. He looked up at Ian who had his eyes closed again but he was biting his lip so he didn't say anything instead he moved his fingers side by side pushing in deeper and deeper.

“Oh fuck” Ian cried and grabbed onto his shoulder.

“There it is” Mickey said triumphantly and continued to massage the boys prostate.

“Mm uh..fuck.” Ian moaned and squeezed his shoulder tightly. He let go of his dick and grabbed the boys hair pulling his head back and kissing his neck. His supple skin was so soft under his lips. He continued to fuck Ian with his fingers as he sucked on his neck

“Mmm” Ian moaned again softly

Mickey pulled back just in time to see Ian lick his lips. “And you said you weren't my puppet, look at you now” he said and pushed his fingers in futher practically stroaking his prostate.

“Huh” Ian moaned.

Mickey bit his neck and pushed in deeper, he was stretching the kid out nice and good for his cock.

“Say my name” Mickey said kissing the boys shoulder

“No” Ian cried

“Say my fucking name” he whispered in his ear before sucking on his earlobe and literally pushing as hard and deep as he could into his ass

“Mickey” Ian said breathlessly.

“Again” Mickey replied drunk off of the sound of hearing the boys calling his name

“Mickey” Ian cried as he neared the brink of orgasm

“Yea that’s right ” he said pulling his fingers out denying Ian his release.

“Fuck why did” Ian started then stopped as if realizing what he was about to say.

“Say that again?” Mickey replied looking at him curiously but Ian just shook his head.

“Yea ok..get on the bed” he said as he walked over to his night stand to grab a condom. He wasn't prepared last time, but this time there was no reason not to use protection.

He looked over and Ian was still standing silently at the foot of the bed staring at the ground. He looked up as Mickey approached his eyes were filled with lust and sadness.

“Don't look at me like that Gallagher. Did you think we were done here?” he said as he walked over to him. “We are just getting started” he said and reached down to pull off Ian’s boxers.

“You are too fucking sexy man.” he said and pushed Ian down onto the bed.

He took of his boxers and threw them on the floor then climbed on the bed on top of Ian. He grabbed both of the boys hands and pinned them above his head as he kissed his chest again. He slowly made his way down his chest to his pelvis. He had imagined this moment, having Ian's cock in his mouth causing the young boy to come undone from his touch. He glanced up at Ian who was watching him as he moved lower and lower now he had his face in the patch of red pubes that lay above him dick. He let go of one of the boys hands and moved his hand slowly down Ian's side resting it on his thigh.

He made his way over to the boys cock and licked to tip with his tongue causing Ian's whole body to shake. Mickey took that and ran with it placing his mouth over the boys hard cock. He used his free hand to stroke Ian as he moved his lips up and down his shaft.

“Shit...uh” Ian moaned above him.

Mickey moved faster and put more of Ian into his mouth moving up and down on his shaft with his fingers and his mouth, his tongue swirling circles around him.

“Fuck Mickey” Ian cried.

“Mmm hmm” Mickey hummed quite pleased with himself as he continued to suck Ian off.

“Shit....fuck..” Ian reached his hand down and grabbed Mickey's hair.

Mickey sighed deeply at the boys touch and began to pull his mouth off. He stopped at the head of the boys cock and tickled it again with his tongue causing Ian to try and push his head back down. That was all Mickey wanted, he wanted Ian to want him and he did, he just proved it. He pulled his mouth off and felt Ian sigh at the loss of contact. He climbed on top of Ian again and dipped his head down to kiss him, again sharing the taste of his precum with his kiss. This time Ian didn't push him away but he also wasn't into the kiss. He just let it happen. Mickey sat up and slapped the side of the boys ass hard.

“Ow fuck” Ian snapped

“Come on Gallagher on your knees man” he said and reached over to grab the condom and lube.

Ian reluctanlty started to turn over. He was taking his sweet time and Mickey was getting impatient.

“Today please” he said and slapped his ass again.

“Fine fuck” Ian replied then quickly rolled over and got on all fours.

If Mickey thought he was sexy before nothing beat seeing Ian Gallagher on all fours on his bed, ass in the air just begging to be fucked. It was almost picture perfect.

Mickey rolled the condom on his dick and coated himself in lube. He put a dollop on his finger and reached out to place it on the boys hole. He had only been fucked once and this time he was planning on really fucking him, not some quickie in the closet. He ran his hand down Ian’s back, he was obsessed with the feel of his soft skin, it was smooth and perfect. Just as he was about to pentrate the boy Ian sat down.

“The fuck are you doing” Mickey snapped

“I'm not doing this again” Ian replied.

Mickey stroked himself “Hard to get is gettin me hard Gallagher” He said and put his head on the boys shoulder.

“Get up”

“I don't want to”

“I don't care. I said get up so get the fuck up”

“No”

“Either way you're getting fucked, so why not make it easier on yourself and get up. You were doing so good”

“Fuck off” Ian snapped.

“Suit yourself” Mickey said stood up off the bed. He reached down and grabbed Ian by the waist.

“Damn it Mickey put me down” Ian yelled.

Mickey put him down so that he was again standing facing the bed in front of him

“Last chance red” Mickey said.

Ian stood there arms crossed. Mickey pushed him down so that only his top half was on the bed, his ass was in the air. He leaned over and grabbed the back of his neck holding him down.

He stroaked himself again and he was still rock hard. In fact seeing Ian like this was sexy as hell. All fours was great but now he was bent over the bed his ass was ready for him to fill it.. He lined himself up with Ian’s hole and pushed himself inside not stopping like before.

“Jesus christ” Mickey called out “Your ass is ridiculously fucking tight man, it feels so good I don't even know” he trailed off lost in the feeling of the boys warmth and tightness. He was at the perfect angle to make Ian scream and he knew it. He pulled out and slammed into him roughly

“Hmph” he heard Ian sigh heavily from beneath him.

“Just you wait kid, I'm gonna fuck the shit out your little ass” he said thrusting into him again and again.

“Uh ...uh” Ian moaned beneath him. He knew it would only be a matter of time before the kid gave in, just like with everything else.

“You sound so fuckin adorable when you moan like that” Mickey said grabbing his ass and pulling it onto his dick. He slammed in and out of the boys wet hole over and over. He decided to switch his angle and moved to the side slightly before thrusting in again

“Yes fuck” Ian cried.

Mickey took this opportunity to get in the position he originally wanted.

“Get up and get on the bed” He said firmly and pulled out of Ian's ass.

Ian did as he was told and climbed onto the bed, his face was flushed and he was starting to sweat.

He got on his knees on the bed and Mickey came up behind him penetrating him again.

This was better. He was able to reach around and jerk Ian's cock as he fucked him. He grasped it firmly in his hands and moved it slowly back and forth. He thrust into Ian again hard and deep, the kid was no longer holding back.

“Yes fuck..fuck..yes” he cried as Mickey fucked him..

“Soo good red. You feel so fucking good” Mickey moaned and kissed his back.

He thrust into him again faster this time, pulling his ass onto his cock again watching it as it slid in and out of ians hole over and over just disappearing deep inside the boy then sliding back out. He placed his hand on Ian’s back to get more leverage as he fucked into him, he was surprised to see Ian’s ass thrusting back onto his dick until he realized the kid was doing it.

“Fuck yea” he said as he watched Ian slam his ass onto his dick. He slowly fucked into him but right now Ian was doing all the work.

“I knew you were a dirty boy Gallagher. I fucking knew it” he said as he grabbed the boys ass again and thrust hard

“Fuck mmm uhh..fuck” Ian cried with each thrust. Mickey had another idea. He needed to see if Ian was ready to be a good boy. He pulled out quickly and stood up of the bed. Ian jerked his head around but didn't say anything. Mickey walked over to the other side of the bed and layed down on his back. Ian looked over at him with confusion.

“Come here red. I want you to be on top” Mickey said and patted his thighs.

Ian shook his head no. “Lets not do this again. Come here. NOW” Ian looked at him then glanced to the ground. He got up off the bed and walked over to Mickey's side. “Good boy” Mickey said patronizingly.

Ian rolled his eyes and climbed on top of him. “Wait” Mickey said and positioned himself. “Ok now sit down”

Mickey watched as Ian squeezed his eyes shut and lowered himself onto his cock. The eyes immediately flew open once he was seated.

“Yea that feels good doesn't it” Mickey smiled and reached out to grab Ian’s waist. He slowly began to thrust up into him and this quickly became his favorite postion. Ian was on top of him he could see every feature on his face, he saw his chest and his beautiful dick lay on his stomach, boucing as he fucked into him. It was a sight to see. He watched as Ian tried to hold back but couldn't. Just seeing the struggle in his face was hot as fuck. He kept thrusting up into him watching as his face revealed signs of pleasure..

“You know you like it kid. I can see it in your face” Mickey panted as he pulled Ian down on to him. Ian tried to look away but Mickey was having none of that. “No that's not happening red. Look at me” he said touching his face. Ian looked at him and Mickey grabbed his hips and began rocking back and forth.

“Mmm” Ian moaned and bit his lip.

“Yea you know you wanna ride it don't you” Mickey said and rocked back and forth more pulling Ian into him.

“Fuck...” Ian sighed and began to move his hips against Mickey closing his eyes.

“Just like that” Mickey said soflty not wanting to disturb him until he found his rhythm. He slowly thrust up into him allowing to match his pace. Soon the boy was rocking back and forth on his cock like he'd done it a million times.

“Yea you ride that shit Gallagher. Fuck” Mickey moaned as he watched Ian bounce up and down on his cock, his dick slapping against his chest dripping precum.

He wrapped his arms behind Ian’s back bringing him in closer.

The kid kept his eyes closed as he rode Mickey. He rocked back moaning

“Yes fuck.. fuck yes”

“You’re such a little whore aren't you” Mickey said as Ian fucked himself on his cock. Ian's eyes sprang open at the words but all he could do was take in Mickey's cock deeper and deeper, his mouth hanging open as he rode him.

“You are. Look at you up there riding my dick cause you want it so bad. You want it” he said thrusting into him.

“Uh”

“You say your're not my bitch red but look at you. Your so fucking sexy right now bouncing on my cock because I told you so. I fucking told you and you listened” Mickey panted feeling his orgasm building.

“Touch yourself” Mickey called out not wanting to cum before Ian did.

Ian reached down and jerked his cock. “..fuck that feels.”

“It feels good that’s what” Mickey finished his sentence as Ian jerked himself off and continued to rock back and forth on Mickey's cock.

He couldnt believe he was staring at Ian about to cum on his chest and riding his dick. This had turned out to be a great day.

“Fuck Ian say my name” Mickey cried as he felt on the verge of exploding. He needed to hear it again, it was part of his high and he needed another hit.

“Fuck im gonna”

“Say it Ian”

“Mickey I'm gonna cum” Ian called out and came in hot spurts on Mickey’s chest.

“Fuck man” Mickey sighed as he came inside Ian.

Ian rode out his orgasm then looked down Mickey.

“Get up” Mickey replied and pushed Ian up off of him.

Ian sat on the bed naked and stared at him. “I...I can't believe”

“You can't believe that was fucking amazing. It was kid you sure know how to ride a cock I'll tell you what” Mickey replied as he got dressed. He tossed Ian his clothes and and the kid began to get dressed.

“Seriously though red, do you know how fucking sexy you are, cause I don't think you do?” he said looking at the boy sitting on the bed.

“You wanna smoke?” Mickey said passing the pack to Ian. He realized he never asked before just assumed the kid didn't smoke. He was wrong Ian grabbed a cigarette and pulled a lighter out of his jeans.

“You know you liked it kid just admit it” Mickey said taking a drag of is cigarette.

“Mickey just stop” Ian said putting his hand up and smoking his cigarette.

“Why cause you know I'm right” he said walking over to Ian and sitting on the bed “You liked it and it's gonna happen again because you're a little whore who can't get enough. No sense in denying it, we both know the truth”

Ian stood up from the bed “What do you want from me Mickey? I don't know why you won’t just leave me alone”

Mickey looked up at him “That's easy Gallagher. I want you. I want all of you” he replied.

“Well you fucked me, what more can I give you before your leave me alone'

Mickey shook his head and stood up walking over to Ian “That's just it kid. I don't want to leave you alone, I want to have you. I want all of you, I want you to be mine” he said and pressed his lips firmly against Ian's. He reached up and put his hand behind the kids head pulling him in closer. He felt Ian’s tongue move in his mouth briefly before his hands were pushing him away.

“Stop. I don't want to” Ian said

“You sure about that?” Mickey said and kissed him again. This time the kiss lasted much longer he was able to run his hand through Ian's hair before he pulled away.

“No..just..just take me home please”

“About that. You're gonna stay here tonight” Mickey said grabbing another cigarette.

“What are you talking about. You can't do that?” Ian snapped.

“Actually I can. And I am so make yourself comfortable.”


	7. Pathetic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey gives being nice a shot and it backfires

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i'm going to be focusing a lot more on emotion and psychological in the next few chapters. It is a very important part in the story and is very relevant to the outcome of the story. I hope you guys enjoy, there will still be smut here and there but i like a little substance too. thank you again for the support.

Ian leaned against the door contemplating his situation. There was no fucking way he was staying here, staying with Mickey. He needed to leave. All he wanted to do was go home take a hot shower and try his best to again push this night from his mind. That’s all he wanted.

“Look Mickey I can't stay here”

“Why not?” Mickey looked at him curiously and took a drag.

“What do you mean why not? This” he gestured between the two of them “This is wrong, this is so fucking wrong. I don't want to be with you. I don't want to stay with you. I just want to go home!”

Mickey walked back over to the bed and sat down. He lay down so that he was facing the ceiling.

“And that's makes a difference to me why?”

Ian shook his head in disbelief. This guy was so fucking self absorbed. He didn't care about anything or anyone but himself.

“What about my sister? She's gonna wonder why I didn't come home” he said hoping that reminding the guy he still lived with his family would change his mind.

“Just call her and tell her you're staying at a friends house” Mickey said sitting up and putting his cigarette out.

“What? No. I can't do that. Just take me home now” Ian yelled and walked over to him with his arms crossed.

Mickey reached out and grabbed him by the waist pulling him in close.

“Mickey don't” he said reaching down to push the guy away but it was useless, his hands were firmly pressing into his sides. He looked down at Mickey who smiled deviously as he lifted up his shirt.

“Well kid it makes no difference to me” he said as he moved his thumb over his stomach “You're staying right fucking here so do what you want”

Ian felt like he was going to lose his shit. How the fuck did all this happen again? How did he let this happen. His whole goal today was to avoid a situation like this and now he was in deeper than before. He was trapped in this guys apartment and there was no way for him to leave. What the hell was he going to do?

 

Mickey looked up at the boy and watched how his eyes darted back and forth trying to understand what was happening. It was fascinating to him how one moment the kid was calling out his name and the next moment he was pushing him away begging to leave. He found it kinda adorable actually that Ian was trying so hard to resist the feelings inside of him. He knew he was slowly getting to the kid, if not before definitely this time. There was no denying that soon he would be able to completely dominate him. The thought of Ian doing anything and eveything he asked was too much. He was so willfull and full of fire sometimes he doubted he would be able to control him at all. Then things like today happen and the kid goes from calling him every name under the sun to being seated on top of him riding him like a bull. There was no denying he was having an effect on him sexually. Now he just needed to be able to take that effect and use it everywhere else. To do that though Ian needed to stay, He needed to see him submit when there wasn't a dick in his ass and hormones rushing through his body. Then he would have truly accomplished something.

“You just gonna stand there or you gonna call someone?” he looked up at the kid who was still in a state of confusion.

“I can't stay here. I...I just can't” Ian said slowly backing away.

“You really are a broken record man” Mickey laughed and lay back on the bed again.

“God damn it Mickey, come the fuck on!” Ian cried loudly leading him to sit up. Ian was leaning against the door again. His face was red and Mickey could see the tears building up in his eyes.

“You’re kinda ugly when you cry you know that” he said which was a complete lie, he actually found Ian super sexy when he was emotional, it was raw and unfiltered but he wanted to see just how far he could push the kid.

“Fuck off” Ian snapped

“I'm just saying no one likes a cry baby that’s all”

Ian wiped the tears from his eyes with his hand and walked to the other side of the room and sat on the floor.

“Aw did I hurt your feelings, now you're gonna pout all night in the corner” Mickey said getting up from the bed and walking over to him.

Ian looked up at him and glared but said nothing.

“What?” Mickey said looking down at the kid.

“Get the fuck away from me asshole” Ian replied and buried his head in his arms

Mickey laughed a little then squatted down so that he was inches away from Ian's face and smacked him in the head.

“The fuck Mickey” Ian snapped sitting up and scooting backwards.

“Look kid you're cute and I like that but you're in my world now so you need to watch yourself”

“Fuck you!” Ian looked at him and stood up quickly, knocking him over. It was completely unexpected.

“There is no where for you to go kid, that was kinda stupid” he said brushing himself off as he stood up.

Ian was again at the door trying to pull it open. He watched as he kicked then punched the door hard in frustration.

“Fuck” Ian yelled when his fist collided with the wooden door. He pulled his hand close to him and Mickey could see his knuckles were bloody.

“Well that was a dumb fucking move” he said and grabbed his key unlocking the door. The second he unlocked he door he was again on his ass. Ian had pushed him to the ground and ran out of the room. Mickey shook his head as he yet again stood up from the floor. This was getting old, he needed to get the kid to calm the fuck down, maybe once he realized that everthing else was locked as well he would just give up and relax, probably not though. He walked out into the hallway and found Ian clutching his hand with his forehead on the front door. He said nothing instead went to the bathroom and opened up the medicine cabinet. He pulled out the peroxide, Q tips, AAA ointment and an ace bandage then walked back out to the living room and sat down on the couch. He set everything down on the table in front of him and looked over to the door.

“Come here kid” he said gesturing towards the couch.. Ian looked over at him and flipped him off. Mickey was trying to keep his cool, trying to understand how the kid was feeling right now but it was very hard. He wasn't used to people talking to him the way Ian did, and the only people who got away with out a broken finger for flipping him off were his family.

“Ian get the fuck over here and let me see your hand” he said firmly.

“I don't need anything from you” Ian replied.

“Jesus christ kid really” he said and snatched the shit from the table and walked over the front door.

He had planned on doing this more gracefully but Ian was leaving him with no other option.

“Gimme your hand” he said standing in front of the kid leaving him nowhere to go.

“No” Ian said softly

“Ok I'm done with this shit” Mickey said and reached out to grab the kids hand

“Leave me”

“Shut up” he yelled at him in a demanding tone that caused the kid to still himself. Mickey grabbed his hand and poured the peroxide over his knuckles. Ian winced as the liquid bubbled on his hand.

“Come in to the kitchen so we can rinse it off” Mickey said grabbing Ian with his free hand around the waist. Ian reluctantly let him escort him to the kitchen where he rinsed off his hand and towels it dry before coating his knuckles with the AAA ointment. Once he was satisfied he was cleaned up enough Mickey wrapped the bandage around his hand and threw the wrapper in the trash.

“Better?” he said looking over at Ian.

“Yea” the kid replied softly staring at the floor.

“Good. That was pretty fucking stupid I told you the door was locked didn't I?”

Ian looked up at him but said nothing, he looked tired and worn out. He was probably hungry and ready to go to bed.

Mickey walked over to the fridge and opened up the freezer door.. He had fuck all to eat except....yes thank god there was a frozen pizza. He really did not want to go anywhere or risk going downstairs.

He pulled out the pizza and turned on the oven.

“You hungry man?” he said looking at Ian who was still standing next to the sink. The kid said nothing.

“Whatever I'm making a pizza. Go like sit down or something, it's fucking creepy you standing there all silent and shit” he said and popped the pizza in the oven. Who needs to preheat, he just cooked it for twice as long, worked fine. He turned around and saw Ian had made his way over to the couch. He was sitting down, his head staring up at the ceiling. Mickey walked over and sat down next to him, leaving enough room so that the kid wouldn't freak the fuck out cause he did not have the patience for that.

He turned on the TV and started flipping through the channels. There was never anything good on even though Kash and Linda paid for the premium channels. He landed on Comedy Central, they were playing re runs of South Park and he could get down with that. He looked to Ian who was still staring absently at the ceiling, he needed to lighten the fucking mood, the kid was really being a downer, but he still wanted him to stay. He got up off the couch and walked into his room and over to the night stand. He opened the drawer and pulled out his baggy of joints. He grabbed two, that should defininlty liven up this party. The kid smoked cigarettes and lived in he South Side he had to smoke weed too right? Well if he didn't he would tonight, he shut the drawer of his nightstand and walked back out to the couch in the living room. He plopped down playfully next to Ian intentionally closer this time and lit up a joint taking a giant hit and blowing the smoke at Ian's face.

“Ay Mr. Grumpy Gills, sit the fuck up and hit this joint” he said holding the joint in front of Ian's face.

As he had hoped Ian lifed his head and looked at him warily, before grabbing the joint and placing it between his lips. Yep the kid was definitely a smoker. He hit the joint long and hard and blew out the smoke. Mickey waited for him to pass it back but instead he hit it again taking in a deep drag. Normally that would irritate Mickey but he found Ian Gallagher smoking a joint really fucking sexy and he was happy that the kid was willing. Finally Ian passed the joint back to him. They passed the joint between the two of them until it was gone. Ian still hadn't said anything but Mickey could tell he was stoned. He had gone from staring at the ceiling to staring at the TV. Mickey heard the timer on the oven go off and went to grab the pizza. He turned off the oven and pulled out the pizza, fuck it smelled amazing he was starving. He cut the pizza into fourths and ate a piece before he even left the kitchen he was so fucking hungry.. He walked back over to the couch with the plate of pizza and set it down on the table. Ian had sunk into the couch and his eyes were glazed over and glued to the TV.

“Alright kid time to eat something, I know you gotta be hungry. Eat it before it gets cold” he says grabbing a piece of pizza and pushing the plate towards the boy. Ian looks over at him and down at the pizza and bursts out in laughter. What the hell?

“What's so fucking funny?” Mickey says taking a bite of his pizza.

“You ...You made me dinner? That's hilarious.” Ian laughs again hard. His eyes are bloodshot “I guess you really are a bitch aren't you?”

This fucking kid just does not get it. The first time he speaks in who knows how long and this is what he decides to do, go running his mouth. Mickey set his pizza down on the plate. He looks at Ian “hmph” he says softly nodding his head before he reaches out and slaps him hard across the face.

“You really have a big fucking mouth you know that?” He says now face to face with Ian who is stunned.

“I told you not to talk to me like that but you just don't know how to fucking listen do you?” he says shoving the kid back into the couch.

“Everything was goin ok but you just had to go runnin your mouth”

Mickey grabs his piece of pizza and the plate of food off the table and stands up to walk to the kitchen. He empties the food into the trash and throws the plate into the sink causing it to shatter into pieces. He takes a few more bites of his pizza and throws it away too. He's lost his fucking appetite and now he's just mad. He was trying to be nice, trying to make it more comfortable for the fucking kid to be there so he wouldn't go freaking the fuck out but that backfired so now he was done being nice. Nice was overrated, he was Mickey Milkovich he didn't need to be fucking nice. He walked over to the couch and sat down.

“You know you're lucky I even like you kid, if we're bein' honest here you're the one who is fuckin' pathetic.” he says reaching for his pack of cigarettes. He pulls one out and lights it “I mean” he takes a drag “You sleep with fucking dudes in there 50's, how gross is that? And you say I have daddy issues, come on man.”

He takes another drag of his smoke and exhales through his nose “I mean that would explain it right? That or you couldn't get guys your own age to fuck you.” He looks over at Ian who is staring back at him, his eyes now fixed with his. He figured he might as well fuck with the kid, being nice wasn't getting him anywhere and neither was flattery so he might as well break him down instead. That was the endgame anyways, why he even decided to detour from that was fucking stupid.

“That's probably it huh, struck out with the home team so your sorry ass went for the geriatrics. Fucking pathetic man. You're lucky someone would even wanna touch you after knowing that shit, I mean really.” Mickey could see his words were starting to get to the boy, maybe the weed was making it worse but he could see the glimmer of tears building in his eyes. Serves him right. He takes one last drag of his cigarette and goes for the kill.

“Not to mention the fact that you're a whiny bitch man. All you do is whine about everything, do you know how unattractive that is?” he says and puts his cigarette out. “I mean look at you” he gestures to Ian “All puffy eyed and shit. It's disgusting seriously. Pull yourself together Gallagher fuck” he says getting up from the couch. He walks over to the counter and grabs a paper towel. He balls it up and throws it at Ian who is sniffling on the couch.

“There you go you fuckin crybaby, clean yourself up” he says sarcastically.

He watches as Ian uncrumples the papertowel and wipes his face. Mickey knows he didn't mean a word that he said but he wanted to put Ian in his place.

He walked back over to the couch and sat down, turning back to the boy.

“That's better at least now you don't look like a fuckin child” he scoffed and grabbed the other joint from his pocket. That whole thing really killed his high so he lit up the joint and leaned back in the couch. He took a deep drag inhaling the smoke into his lungs and watched the show. They sat there in silence as he smoked his joint. He finally looked over at Ian who was now curled into himself on the couch watching TV, his legs pulled close to his body and his head resting on his arms. There were only a few hits left of the joint and despite how mad he was he couldn't help but hold the remaining joint out to the side. It took a few moments but Ian reached out and grabbed it. He watched as the boy inhaled and exhaled the smoke.

“Finish it” Mickey said softly and reached for the remote.

He turned off the TV and looked over to Ian who was puffing on the joint now pressed between his fingers.

“Time for bed” he said getting up off the couch and walking to the kitchen for a glass of water.

Ian looked over at him after putting the roach on the table “I’m good right here” he replied.

Mickey licked his lips and smiled because the kids was honestly so fucking cute when he thought he had a decision in anything.

“Yea well that's great but you're coming to bed with me, let's go” he said setting his glass on the counter.

Mickey watched as Ian put his head back down on his arms and tightened up his body, ignoring him.

“Let's fucking go Gallagher come on” he said trying to remain calm. “If you think I wont pick you up and carry you kid you're kidding yourself now come on”

The boy breathed in deeply then slowly got up off the couch. He looked over at him then down at the ground before making his way down the hall.

“Jesus christ was that so fucking hard. Fuck me” he said and followed behind him.

He walked into his room and Ian was standing in the corner, “Take off your clothes and get in bed” he said as he pulled of his shirt.

“Mickey I”

“What? You don't want to? I don't care just do it” he replied kicking his pants to the floor so that he was only in his boxers. He looked over at Ian who had taken off his shirt and his pants but was still just standing next to the bed. Mickey sighed and shook his head “Kid just get in the fucking bed and go to sleep alright.”

He was tired too, exhausted actually, nevermind the fact that again he had put his personal needs in front of his work. He knew tomorrow was going to be a long day and they both needed some fucking sleep if they were ever going to get anything done. He watched as the boy crawled underneath the covers and turned on his side so he was facing the wall.

“The door is locked, so if you need anything or whatever just fucking wake me up” he said and climbed into bed next to him.

He could feel Ian's body heat radiating off of him and he wanted to be closer to him. He reached out and grabbed him by the waist firmly pulling him in close

“Please” Ian said quietly, his voice was laced with exhaustion.

“Shh” he replied as he held on to the boy.

He lay there for about 10 minutes before he heard the soft sound of Ian snoring next to him. It wasn't boisterous or disruptive but soft and delicate.. He ran his fingers gently through the kids hair as not to wake him, it felt perfect between his fingers. He wanted Ian so badly to be his and only his.. He wanted him to submit to him, to let him control him. He wanted to own his mind and his body, he wanted all of him. He sighed deeply and listened to the boy snore letting the sound slowly lull him to sleep.


	8. Whos the bitch now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian goes out to lunch with Mandy and her brother. Ian gets a chance to speak his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg this chapter was sooo fun to write. I LOVE Mickey but i needed to let Ian get some spunk out of his system, make him a little sassy. Thank you to my lovely beta Jessica92. The Mandy to my Ian. If i was Ian but we all know i bleed Mickey ;). Any who...the majority of spunk and sass and down right Ian in the lunch scene came from her. She is truly gifted in the art of insults and sarcasm. Thank you doll!!! Just so yu know COD-Call of Duty and yes the restraunt is a real place but the food and atmosphere i made up so don't quote me on that. I hope you like :)

Ian's eyes fluttered awake and he was immediately blinded by the sunlight. He sighed in relief, it must have all been a dream. He was so emotionally exhausted after that night in the walk in that he must have just slept through the whole day. That meant he missed work, which at this point he didn't care. He highly doubted Mickey was really going to fire him at this point right? Fuck he might. His eyes adjusted to the sunlight and he was able to make out the room he was in. It was not his room. He slowly started to feel the arms that were wrapped securely around him and the hard on pressing against his back. It wasn't a dream was it? That all really happened? How could he let that happen, why did he give in? He scolded himself for being so weak. He knew he needed to stand his ground when it came to Mickey but it kept getting harder and harder not to give in. Fuck that, he was not gonna give in again. Nope, if Mickey wanted to fuck him he would put up a real fight this time. He carefully lifted the arm that was around him off of his waist and set it on the bed. He walked over to where his clothes were and started getting dressed. He needed to find where Mickey kept his keys. Normally they were on a little rubber bracelet around his wrist but he had not seen them when he moved his arm. He needed to find them and get the fuck outta there. He walked over to Mickey's nightstand and opened it but all he saw was weed and papers. Fuck. Ok. They had to be there somewhere. He glanced to the floor where the guy’s pants were inside out and bent down to search the pockets. Again no luck, what the hell? He turned to look at Mickey, he wanted to jump on him and punch him over and over again, but for some reason he was caught off guard. Mickey had to be the most awful person he had met but in this moment he looked beautifully peaceful, almost innocent as he slept.   
[](http://tinypic.com?ref=24d3sie)

 

How could someone who did such vile things look so downright amazing while they were asleep? He must have been staring for quite some time because he was quickly reminded that he hated the guy when he heard his voice.  
“The fuck are you looking at?” Mickey sat up and cracked his knuckles then stretched his arms above his head.

“Nothing I was..”

“Yea I really don't care anymore get back in bed” Mickey replied patting the space next to him.

Ian shook his head. He was not about to do that. He needed to leave. He never called his sister, people were probably worried. Not to mention he was going to be late for school.

“I need to leave Mickey, I..I have to go to school” he listened to the shakiness in his voice and it made him mad. He was not supposed to feel intimidated! He knew what he needed to do and it was going to happen. He needed to leave. He was not gonna stay there all day and become some sick plaything.

“You need to unlock the door so I can go” he said firmly and looked down at Mickey.

Mickey rubbed his nose and stared at him for a moment. “I'll let you leave but first you gotta take care of this” he said reaching down and massaging the hard on in his boxers.

No way. No fucking way.

“No Mickey. You need to let me go, I have things to do today” he said trying his best to remain as confident as he sounded.

Mickey reached over to his nightstand and grabbed a cigarette, lighting it and putting it in his mouth.

“The quicker you get on your knees, the quicker you can get to those things.” he said blowing the smoke out through his nose.

Ian had an idea. He just needed to get Mickey to unlock the door so he could take his keys, and then he could leave.

“Fine, but first I gotta piss” he said and cocked his head looking at Mickey.

“It can't wait?”

“No Mickey it can't wait come on, open the door”

“Fuck fine” Mickey huffed, throwing the blanket off of him and standing up from the bed. He walked over to the dresser where there was lockbox. Why didn't he think of that? Of course he would lock up his keys, paranoid fuck. He watched as Mickey entered the code but he couldn't get a look at what it was.

“Here we go red” he said turning to face him. He was taken by surprise when he lifted a 9mm out of the box. His eyes widened in surprise. It's not like he hadn't seen a gun before, he was in ROTC, but he was not expecting it. It was Mickey Milkovich, a gun shouldn't have surprised him but the reality of it did.

“Relax red” Mickey said waving the gun. “You're from the South Side, you tellin' me you never seen a gun before” he grabbed the keys out of the box next and sat the gun down on the dresser.

Ian didn't know what possessed him to ask the next question but he did.

“Is it loaded?” he looked over to the dresser again.

“Always.” Mickey smiled at him and picked up the gun again cocking it. “Gotta keep my shit safe Gallagher, like I said this is the South Side”

He watched as the guy placed the now armed weapon back into his safebox and closed it entering in his code.

“Let's get this show going kid, I'm horny as a motherfucker” Mickey said unlocking the door and slipping the bracelet on his wrist.

Ian walked to the bathroom which was across the hall and shut the door. He didn't really need to pee but he needed to plan his next move.. He stood there and ran several scenarios through his head until he was satisfied he had the best one. He flushed the toilet and ran the faucet for a minute before opening the door. He walked back into the room where he saw Mickey sitting on the edge of the bed touching himself through his boxers.

He decided to go for it one more time, to see if he could avoid as much unnecessary contact as possible.

“I'm going to be late for school Mickey. I need to leave like now” He said firmly.

Mickey looked over at him “Well then I suggest you get over here kid” Mickey replied waving his hand towards him. Fuck. I guess this is how it's gonna go. He walked over to where Mickey was seated and got down on his knees.

“Good boy Gallagher” Mickey praised. He reached into Mickey boxers and pulled out his hard cock. It was covered in precum from the guy stroking it and felt heavy in his hands. He glanced up at Mickey and placed his lips over the tip of his dick, moving his tongue around the head causing the guy to lean his head back.

“Fuck kid. That's feels so good” he sighed heavily.

Ian sucked gently easing more and more of it into his mouth until he felt he had the perfect opportunity. Mickey had his hand resting beside him holding his body up as he reveled in the feeling of his mouth. Ian didn't think twice and bit down hard.

“Fuck!” Mickey yelled and pushed him off forcefully onto the ground. He watched as he reached for his wounded shaft. Ian took the opportunity to spring up off the floor then jumped on Mickey knocking him backwards onto the bed.

“You little bitch” Mickey shouted as he clawed at him. He was determined to get the key off his arm. He almost reached the bracelet when Mickey flipped him over onto his back and punched him in the face. He had so much adrenaline going through his body the punch didn't faze him. Instead he swung his fist and it met Mickey's cheek bone with a thud. Mickey was on top of him looking stunned by the level of resistance he was getting.

“That's right, I'm not your fucking bitch” he shouted and pushed Mickey off of him onto his back. He climbed on top of the guy and started punching. “Fuck you” he screamed, all the pent up rage being let loose. He got lost in the moment and forgot why he was doing this in the first place. He looked down at Mickey who was blocking his face with one arm the other arm with the key was trying to push him off. He stopped punching and moved his attention to the arm pushing him away. Big mistake. He didn't have a second to think before he was on his back and there were hands wrapped tightly around his throat.

“Fucking bitch. Who do you think you are?” Mickey shouted as his hands pressed tighter around him. He tried to reach up, tried to push him away but he couldn't. The next thing he knew it was black.

 

Holy Fuck! Stupid fucking kid, what the fuck was he thinking? He had been trying to keep his temper in check with Ian. Sure he had hit him a few times but he was tough, he could take it. The last thing he was expecting was for the fucking prick to bite his...prick. That shit fucking hurt! Fucking dumb ass move, nothing pisses a guy off faster than going for his junk and Mickey was no different. The kid had jumped on top of him like he had lost his mind. Not only was he livid about being fucking bitten but then the little fucker punched him in his face. Ian had managed to get him on his back which he had never expected and that pissed him off even more. By the time the kid stopped attacking him he was seeing red and his hand were wrapped around the boy’s throat. He got caught up in the extreme feeling of control watching the previously cocky Ian Gallaher now squirming beneath him, at his mercy. He was about to let go when the kid passed out. He could see he was still breathing and decided fuck it, he needed to wake the kid up and he knew exactly how he was going to do it. He reached into his boxers and massaged himself so that he was good and hard again. He grabbed Ian by the hair and pulled his head down on top of his dick.

“Fuck” he sighed at the tightness of the boy’s throat as he thrust up into him. As expected after a few hard thrust he heard Ian gag and reach for his hands, but he held his head firmly in place and continued to fuck into his mouth. He could feel his dick touch the back of the boy’s throat and it was so wet and warm he was about to blow his load any minute, so he slowed down.

“Ay look at me” he said releasing him grip on the boy’s head

He watched as Ian slowly lifted his head and looked up at him, his eyes red and wet.

“You could’ve done this shit your way but you had to go be a fucking dumbass” he said and smacked him in the head.

His dick was still in the boy’s mouth so he wasn't able to say anything but Mickey could tell by the look in his eyes that he understood.

“Good, finish” he said and placed his hand gently on the boy’s head. It was only a second before the boy was moving his pink lips up and down over his cock. His hands were shaky as they moved along his shaft.

“Mm that's good” Mickey moaned at the sight of Ian's head bobbing up at down.

“Fuck Gallagher I'm gonna cum” he says and reaches down to grab the boy’s head again as he cums in hot spurts down his throat. He releases Ian and leans back against the wall.

“That mouth man” he sighs.

He watches as Ian sits up and wipes his mouth. The kid takes a deep breath and falls back against the wall next to him breathing heavily.

“You were a good boy, towards the end there.” He reaches out and touches his face. The boy flinches. “So good Gallagher fuck”

He stands up from the floor and stretches again. That turned out to be more of a work out then he expected. He could see Ian stand up and lean against the wall.

“You ready to fuck off man?” he says looking back at him.

“I'm late for school” the kid says softly.

“What’s that mumbles?” Mickey said as he put on his pants.

“I said I'm late for school” Ian shouted.

“Alright fuck. Come on” Mickey pulled his shirt on and walked out into the hallway. Ian was practically on top of him as he unlocked the door. He stood back and let the kid run downstairs.

“Be back by 4 kid. Not 4:15, not fucking 4:30. 4!” he shouts after him and shuts the door.

He looks up at his clock it's only 10am. He could afford to keep the store closed for a few more hours. All that exercise had him starving, dinner was a disaster so he didn't really eat that much. He decided to take a shower, smoke a joint, and see what his bitch sister was up to.

*********************************************************************************

 

Ian had never wanted to leave somewhere so fast in his life. He needed to just be outside, he felt like he still couldn't breathe as he picked his backpack from the floor where he left it the day before. He quickly unlocked the front door and stepped out into the brisk Chicago air. He took a deep breath and it felt like a weight had just been lifted from his shoulders. He started walking to the train station, one foot in front of the other still slightly in a daze. When he got to the station he pulled his phone out of his backpack. Just as he feared he had 6 missed calls and about a dozen texts from various family members. He knew he was not going to school, that was the last place he wanted to go. He decided to call his sister. Now was better than never right. The phone only rang once before the worried voice of his sister echoed on the other end.

“Ian oh my god! Are you alright?”

He hated that his sister was so worried, he knew she probably didn't sleep at all last night.

“I'm fine Fi, I didn't mean to worry you.”

“I called you like 1000 times Ian why didn't you pick up or text me”

“Yea, I turned my phone on silent for work and I just completely spaced out. I stayed at a friend’s house from ROTC. My boss let me out early”

He heard Fiona sigh in relief on the other end of the phone..

“That was nice of him. I thought you didn't like him?”

“I don't. I hate him, but we were really slow so he let me leave” the lies were rolling of his tongue so easily, he was so ashamed.

“Ok well you're coming home tonight. I don't care how late. You should know better than to have sleepovers on a school night”

He laughed. He loved his sister, she was more like a mom than his mom had ever been.

“I know. I'll be there but I don't get off till 10pm”

“Ok sweetie, dinner will be in the microwave. I love you."

“Love you too Fi” he smiled and hung up the phone.

 

He scrolled through his contacts and found Mandy's number. He wondered if she was in school right now. It was really nice to talk with her before on the bus, he needed a friend right now and Mandy seemed pretty down to earth. Even if she was in class, at least he would have someone other than his family to talk to. The L pulled up just as he clicked her number. He walked on board the train and went for his usual spot in the back. He had no idea where he was going just that he wanted to go somewhere away from here. He sat down and pulled out his phone. He stared at the number for a moment then decided to text instead of call.

 

(10:50) Ian- Hey

(10:52) Mandy- Who's this

Seriously? He should have put his name, now he felt like a creep.

(10:54) Ian- Omg sorry. Ian from the L

(10:55) Mandy- IAN! I thought u 4got about me

(10:57) Ian- No i didn't 4get just busy. You wanna meet up?

(10:58) Mandy- Sure cutie ;). What did u have in mind?

He could already tell he was giving the girl the wrong impression. He needed to tell her he was gay before they went any further. Hopefully she would be ok with it. If not he would delete her number and move on, but it would be super lame.

(11:05) Ian- Can I tell u sumthing?

(11:07) Mandy-sure

(11:08) Ian- Promise u won’t freak out?

(11:12) Mandy- Are u a serial killer?

Ian laughed as he read the message. This girl kept thinking he was a serial killer. Did he give off that vibe? He hoped not. He took a deep breath as he typed his next message. This was it, now or never.

(11:15) Ian- No I'm not a serial killer. I’m gay

He waited for his phone to go off again but there was no response. Oh well, the way things were going for him lately he wasn't surprised that he had managed to fuck one more thing up. Whatever. He went to plug in his head phones when his phone buzzed.

(11:25) Mandy- K. Where do you wanna meet :)

Thank god. He really needed her to accept him because he needed a friend. He looked out the window to gauge where he was at. There was a park about 10 min away, they could meet and just kick it.

(11:26) Ian- Really? We could meet at Fuller park?

(11:28) Mandy- K.. I'll see u in like 15?

(11:29) Ian- K.

 

He put his phone away and felt a wave of relief. Finally something had gone right for him. He was actually excited to see Mandy. He had never really had friends outside of his family before. He sat there eagerly and waited for the train to approach the station. Once he arrived he picked his bag off the floor of the L and headed out onto the platform. He felt his stomach growl and contemplated stopping at the gas station for food and cigarettes but decided against it. He was hungry but maybe Mandy was hungry too, they could always grab lunch together. He approached the park and saw the black haired girl sitting on the swings. He walked over and sat on the swing next to her.

“Hey uh thanks for meeting me” he said awkwardly.

“Are you really gay?” she said flatly looking up at him with her piercing blue eyes.

“Yea, I’m really gay” he laughed nervously.

She looked down and twirled her hair in her fingers then looked back up at him. “You're not just sayin that cause you think I’m ugly?”

He was surprised by the girl’s question. She was beautiful, her hair was jet black and she had beautifully pale skin. If he was straight she would totally be his type.

“No Mandy, that's not it at all. You’re gorgeous a..any guy would be lucky to have you” he said sweetly his eyes fixed with hers “I'm just not wired that way, never have been”

“Does your family know?” she said as she slowly rocked in her swing, sliding her boot against the gravel.

“No, just my brother”

“Well I’m glad you told me Ian cause I did think you were cute”

He blushed, and grabbed her hand “You're sweet Mandy. I knew as soon as I met you that we'd be good friends”

She smiled back then brought her hand up to his face. He flinched at the motion causing her to pull back and stare at him curiously.

“Get into fight?” she tilted her head and looked at him.

“Something like that,” he replied feeling the shame began to bubble in the pit of his stomach.

“I get into fights sometimes too.” she said looking down at the ground..

He couldn't help but notice the same look of defeat in her eyes that he had seen in his own recently.

“Boyfriend?”

“No. Dad” she replied and stared absently across the park.

“I'm sorry Mandy have you..”

“It's ok. I've got it under control. My brothers take care of me. What about you Ian? Boyfriend?”

It took him a moment to come up with the words. He had wanted to talk with her about it, but now that he was about to he found himself at a loss for words.

“Ian?”

He rubbed his forehead nervously. “No. I mean I don't really know what we are, but he's not my boyfriend”

“Did he do that?” she said moving her hand gently over the bruise that was forming on his face.

“He looks just as bad trust me” he lied. He got one good jab in during his confrontation with Mickey. The rest of his punches were skillfully blocked by the guy’s arm.

She laughed. “Why don't you just break up with him?”

Ian shifted uncomfortably “He's not my boyfriend Mandy..it's complicated I guess”

“I get it. I've had complicated before” she smiled at him. “At least tell me he's hot”

Ian blushed, as much as he hated to admit it Mickey was very attractive. If he wasn't a complete psycho he might have even considered the guy. He quickly shook that thought out of his mind.

“Yea he's hot. He's just fucking crazy and controlling” he replied

Mandy sighed “The hot ones usually are”

“I mean he's like..” he didn't know how to describe Mickey. “It's like he gets off on making me miserable, like it’s his goal in life to make me feel like shit”

“Too bad you're not a girl” Mandy said pulled a cigarette out of her jacket.

“What? Why?” Ian replied thrown off by the question.

“Well if you were a girl, I'd tell my brother and he would go fuck this guy up” she replied and lit her smoke.

Ian smiled weakly “Yea well with this guy it probably would take more than that to scare him off”

“You don't know my brother” she said plainly and passed him the cigarette.

He took a drag and looked back at her “Yea and you don't know this guy”

She nodded as if she understood and he passed the cigarette back to her. They sat there on the swings talking for another couple minutes before the girl’s phone went off. She looked down at it then up at him.

“It's my brother” she said before answering the phone.

“Hey douchebag” Ian couldn't help but laugh at the casual insult causing Mandy to smile.

“No I'm with my friend” she twirled her hair in her fingers and took a drag of her smoke.

“You buyin'?” she looked over at Ian “Ooh really? Can my friend come?”

“We just started hanging out asshole, I'm not gonna ditch him”

Ian was starting to feel awkward. He wanted to tell Mandy not to worry about him but he was afraid to step into the conversation.

“Yea I said he” she looked at him again and rolled her eyes “No, he's just a friend. No fuck don't do that he's just a friend you moron”

Again with the names. It was beautiful.

“OK. Alright we will meet you there. Yea whatever bye” she said and hung up the phone.

“That sounded like a fun conversation” he said playfully.

“That was my idiot brother. Wants to meetup for lunch said you can come too”

“I'm good” he said trying to ignore the gurgle in his stomach at the word lunch.

“Aw come on Ian. He's paying which means we can order whatever we want. He has a pretty good job and only takes me out when he's happy about something. If you knew my brother you would no it's not often.” she grabbed his hands and pulled him in closely. “Please” she said and batted her eyelashes.

He couldn't say no to her puppy dog eyes. He had barely known the girl more than an hour and he was already about to meet her apparently tough big brother. How was he always getting himself into these situations?

“Ok I'll go” he said softly.

“Yea” the girl smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

“Where are we going?” he said getting up from the swing.

“This place on S. Halstead it's a burger joint. They have like the best wings.” Mandy replied.

“I could go for a burger” Ian smiled.

**********************************************************************************

 

 

They got off the train and walked the 4 blocks to the restaurant. Ian had been down this street many times but he had never stopped before, usually it was just in passing on his way to the gas station coming home from school. They approached the restaurant Buffalo Wings & Rings. That was a cool name. Just being outside the door he could smell the aroma of fried food and it made his mouth water.

Mandy put out her cigarette and grabbed his hand.

“Come on”

They walked inside, the place was covered in signs and beer posters. It was a sports bar. He told himself he would have to remember this place next time they had the money to go out to eat. There was a pool table and darts. It looked like a good place for a Gallagher night out. He was looking around at the walls of the restaurant when he heard Mandy.

“There he is Ian come on” she said grabbing his hand again. He followed her through the bar and over to the table.

“Where is he?” he said as they sat down.

“I saw him a few minutes ago he probably went over to the bar” she replied handing him a menu.

They were deciding over appetizers when he heard a voice that made him literally feel like he was going to crawl out of his skin.

“You know how fucking ridiculous a drink is in the fucking place. Fuck me” Mickey said setting his beer down on the table.

Ian looked up and was face to face with none other than Mickey Milkovich.. This can't be happening. Mickey looked at him wide eyed and sat down across from them.

“Hey Mickey, this is my friend Ian.” she looked over at him “Ian, this is Mickey” she smiled. He was still staring at the man in front of him like he had seen a ghost when he felt Mandy nudge him.

“Don’t be rude” she whispered.

He realized she was the only one at the table unaware of the situation.

“Mickey is your brother?” he said in confusion.

“You gotta be fucking kiddin' me” Mickey sighs and licks his lips

“You know each other?” Mandy looks between them.

Mickey narrowed his eyes “Yea he fucking works with me, this is the kid I hired. Where'd you meet him?” he said looking at his sister.

“On the train yesterday. Wow what a small world” she smiled and sat down.

“So Mickey what made you want to get lunch? You usually only treat when you're in a good mood” Mandy said flipping through the menu.

“What I gotta have a fucking reason to treat my sister?” he laughed and took a swig of his beer.

“Usually” Mandy replied.

“Maybe I just felt like being nice” he said and Ian laughed.

“What's so fucking funny chuckles?” Mickey said looking over at him.

He knew he shouldn't but decided this would be the perfect time to get Mickey back.

“You just don't seem like the kinda guy who does nice things that's all?” he said smugly.

“Ian!” Mandy said and nudged him again.

“What Mandy? I'm just joking, he knows that”

She laughed. “He's right though Mickey. When have you ever done something just to be nice?”

“Next time you wanna use my Xbox bitch I'll remember that” Mickey replied and took another swig of his beer.

“You play video games?” Ian said and looked over at Mandy.

“I don't play video games. I slaughter them” she replied.

“You wish.” Mickey laughed “I can kick her ass at almost every video game”

“Except COD” Mandy snapped.

“Fuck off” Mickey said “The only reason you win on that game is cause you fucking cheat!”

“I do not” Mandy replied appalled at the accusation..

 

“Don't listen to her red, if she plays that fucking game she always looks at the other screen” Mickey said then downed the rest of his beer.

Ian laughs “I guess it's better to look at screens than to look into eyes” he says casually and watches Mickey's eyes light up as he digests his words.

“What?” Mandy says looking at him confused.

“Nothing sorry.. Looks like I know a lot of people who don't play fair” he laughs and shoves her playfully glancing over at Mickey.

“Hey I don't fucking cheat you assholes” she pouted and threw her menu on the table.

“I'm sure you don't Mands” he says then looks over at Mickey “ Maybe you should just try to lose more gracefully man”

Mickey is glaring daggers at him but he can't help the feeling of power he has right now. This must be how Mickey feels all the time, no wonder he's such a control freak. It was addicting.

“Hurry the fuck up and order. Some of us got better shit to do than shit around all day”

“Well I’m ready” Mandy replied

“Oh come on Mandy what do you think? Does Mickey have better shit to do or is he just being a whiny bitch” Ian smirked. Mandy was looking at him wide eyed and Mickey looked like he was about to jump the table.

“What relax guys. We are all friends here right Mick” he says reaching across the table to shove Mickey in the shoulder.

“But seriously, we all know how demanding it is being general manager of the Kash & Grab”

“Ian knock it off” Mandy said urging him to be quiet.

“Yea Gallagher you should probably quit while you're ahead, I am your fucking boss you know”

He scratches his head unable to hold his tongue. “Oh Mickey, how could I forget” 

“Alright guys play nice.” Mandy looks over at him. “How have you not killed each other yet?”

“We're just fucking around Mandy. Don't worry” Ian said and reached his hand around the girl's shoulder. She grinned at him then looked up at Mickey waiting for him to say something but he just sat there glaring at them.  
“Soo” Mandy said trying to lighten the mood. “What are you getting Ian? I think I’m gonna get the hot wings. The buffalo sauce is supposed to be to die for”  
He looked down at his menu. To be honest he really hadn't thought about food once he realized Mickey was Mandy's brother. What a cosmic fuck you. Luckily he was able to speak his mind for the moment with no fear since Mandy was there. Mickey was so far deep in the closet, there was no way he would call him out on anything. He scanned the menu and decided to go with wings too but he wanted Teriyaki instead. This way they could share.  
“Hmmm Teriyaki wings sound pretty bomb” he replied.  
“How the fuck does this shithole not have just a plain burger and fries?” Mickey slammed his menu down on the table. “I mean who eats this fucking shit..bleu cheese and grilled onions? I just want a plain fucking burger. Fuck me”  
“Seriously Mick for a guy that acts so tough, you really come off like a spoiled brat” he laughed.  
“Watch your fucking mouth kid. Just cause I'm your fucking boss doesn't mean I won't kick your ass” Mickey replied cracking his knuckles.  
The server walks back over and he and Mandy place their order. Mickey orders the Bleu burger minus everything. “I just want a plain fucking burger, none of that extra shit just lettuce, tomato, onion and cheese”  
“I gotta use the restroom” Ian says looking at Mandy for directions.  
“What don't look at me? I've only been here once” she shrugs her shoulders and takes a sip of her coke.  
“That's cool I’ll find...”  
“I'll show you Gallagher. Gotta take a piss myself” Mickey says standing up quickly from the booth.  
“Ok yea. Thanks man” he replies trying to keep the bravado he had built up.  
“It's that way” Mickey says pointing across the bar.  
He looks down at the ground for a moment then slowly starts to make his way across the bar. He can feel Mickey behind him and it's beginning to make him feel uneasy. He see the sign for the restroom and turns around.  
“You can go back to your sister. I got it from here man”  
Mickey licks his lips and pushes him forward towards the door not saying a word. He pushes open the door and is relieved to see a dude washing his hands talking on his phone. It wasn't polite to talk at the table so dude would probably be there for a while. Wrong. As if he read his mind Mickey walks right up to the dude and interrupts his call.  
“You. Out now!” he says firmly. They guys stares at him like he's crazy and continues his conversation. Mickey chuckles “Did I fucking stutter asshole? Get the fuck out” he shouts. The man looks terrified and hurries over to the door.  
Ian can't help it. He's on a role and it amazes him the complete lack of respect the guy has for anyone.  
“Wow Mickey could you be more of a dick?” he says walking over to the urinal. He really did have to pee. He slammed down 2 teas and they hadn't even gotten their food yet. He stood there and did his business trying to shake off the eyes that were drilling into him..  
“Can you not fucking stare you perve?” he said and zipped up his pants. Mickey just leaned against the closed door and stared at him as he washed his hands. He hated the quiet, it was unnerving and made his mind go places. He walked over to the door “You gonna move so we can get back to our table?”  
Mickey laughed one more time then reached out and grabbed him flipping them around so that his back was slammed up against the door.  
“You think you're really fucking funny don't you Gallagher?” he said and kissed his neck.  
“Fuck off Mickey people are..”  
“Shut the fuck up. You've said enough don't you think?” he said firmly  
Mickey brought his hand up to his face raking his fingers through his hair, jerking back his head “You think just because my sisters out there that I won’t turn you out like the whore you are hmm?” he said reaching into his pants and grabbing his dick. He stroked it back and forth as he kissed his neck. He tried to push him off but he was leaning his body against him and holding him down with his free hand.  
He closed his eyes as the familiar warmth began to build up inside him.  
“Look at me bitch” Mickey said and smacked him. He grabbed his face and turned it so that they were eye to eye. He knew he was getting close as Mickey continued jerking him in a steady rhythm. As much as he tried he couldn't ignore the feeling that was overpowering him.  
“Fuck” he sighed as he came on Mickey's hand.  
Mickey pulled his hand out of his pants and stuck a finger in his mouth licking it clean.  
“Mmm...such a good boy” he said then forced his lips on his. He could taste the saltiness of his cum mixed with his saliva as Mickey's tongue invaded his mouth.  
He pulled back and walked over to the sink to wash his hands. Ian took the opportunity and quickly opened the door walking briskly back over to the table. When he arrived their food was waiting and Mandy was already making a mess with her wings. He sat down and noticed the pile of soiled napkins on the table.  
“Took you long enough” she said licking sauce off her finger.  
“Uh lines were long” he said nervously and sat back down. He was sitting there fidgeting with his fingers staring at the table.  
“You ok Ian?' Mandy looked over and extended her arm out to caress his shoulder gently. He couldn't help that he flinched at her touch, it was becoming a common occurrence when anyone got close to his face. Just another way his body was betraying him.  
“Yea no. I'm fine, just thinking that's all” he replied and grabbed his iced tea. They ate their food and continued back on the topic of video games. He loved COD so he decided even if she did cheat it would be nice to have someone to play with. The only time they played video games really was at the bowling alley and even then they were really just arcade games. They had an xbox a few years ago but his piece of shit father had pawned it and all the video games for drugs. Fucking Frank. He was just starting to feel normal again when he saw Mickey approaching the table. He was fucking smiling as he sat down in front of his food. He rubbed his hand together and took a bite of his burger. A look of pure disgust crossed his face and he spit his bite out onto his plate.  
“The fuck? What is this shit?” he looked over at Mandy and threw his burger back down on his plate.  
She peeled of the bun and giggled. “Looks like they fucked up your order, that's bleu cheese”  
“Fuck me” Mickey snapped crossing his arms.  
“Mickey just send it back, maybe they'll take it off the check you clearly said plain” Mandy said trying to calm her brother.  
“I wanted it right the 1st fucking time” he sneered.  
Ian had to savor the moment, it was pure karma and he was enjoying it. He watched as the guy who had just assaulted him sulked in his booth like a child over his food and could not help but talk shit. He honestly didn't care what happened at this point. He just wanted to take advantage of this opportunity.  
“Aw come on Mick, you know you can't always get what you want. Not everything can be molded to fit your perfect little world” he laughed and took a sip of his iced-T.  
“You know what I've had about enough of your fucking mouth kid” Mickey replied and slammed his fist down on the table causing his sister to jump.  
“I'll fix it” she said and raised her hand ushering over the waiter. The guy came by and Mandy started to explain that they needed a new order when Mickey chimed in.  
“The fuck kinda idiot doesn't understand the word plain?” he snaps.  
“I'm sorry I thought you said you wanted everything” the guy replied.  
“Well you thought wrong, no way I’m paying for this shit. I don't have time for fucking mistakes. Take it off my bill”  
The man nods and grabs his plate swiftly off the table turning and walking to the kitchen.  
“Geez Mickey.. I could have handled it, you didn't have to be an asshole” Mandy scoffed.  
“Shut up bitch and eat your food” he snapped.  
Mandy flipped him off then turned to Ian. “How are your wings?”  
He looked down at his plate and realized he had yet to touch his food.. He was starving but his stomach was in knots.  
“Great” he smiled grabbing one off the plate and taking bite.  
In less then a minute the server was back with the correct order and they sat there silently eating.  
Surprisingly Mickey finished his food first. The guy must have been starving because Ian swore his food just disappeared, while he was still trying to convince his stomach that he was hungry. He took a swig of his drink and powered through the rest of his food. The wings were delicious even though it took forever for him to eat them. The server came and cleared the table casually dropping off the dessert menu. Mandy quickly grabbed the menu off the table and leaned on his shoulder.  
“You wanna share a sundae?” she looked up at him with her big blue eyes causing him to blush.  
“Sure” he said smiling. She was so sweet yet tough at the same time. He couldn't believe she was related to the asshole in front of him.  
“Let me see that shit” Mickey said reaching his arm out and snatching the menu from his sister. Ian watched as he hastily flipped through the pages, then tossed the menu back over to them.  
“Fucking bullshit” he mumbled.  
“What?” Mandy replied sitting up from his shoulder.  
“They don't have fucking jello. I mean how fucking hard is it to make jello. They got every other god damn dessert.”  
“Well I’m ready” Ian smiled deviously. He knew he shouldn't but Mickey was leaving himself wide open “I think I’m gonna order a chill pill cause Mickey here could really use one” he chuckled and looked over at Mickey.  
“Oh my god Ian” Mandy said putting her hand to her face and nodding her head.  
He looked over at Mickey who was licking his lips and playing with the straw in his water refusing to meet his eyes. He finally looked up and Ian could tell he was pissed. His gaze was cold and he was still figeting with his straw.  
“Can we get some fucking service here?” he shouted raising his hand in the air impatiently.  
“Jesus Mickey. Why don't you just tell them who you are. We both know how you love it when people say your name”  
Fuck, It felt so good making the guy squirm, he knew Mickey wanted to reach across the table and punch him in the face but he couldn't. He had to sit there and take it and it was killing him. Good.  
Mandy looked over at her brother wide eyed then back at Ian.  
“How come he can talk shit and you don't lose your mind but anyone else would be in the ground by now” she looks over at Ian. “No offense but c'mon!”  
“Because I can't beat up my fucking employees Mandy.” Mickey says lowly almost a growl.  
“That's true and he can't fire me for being a smart ass” Ian sat up his in seat and grinned. He was worried he went too far by the look Mandy was giving him. She had way more questions and he was not about to answer them.  
“It's not like he doesn't give me just as much shit Mandy. This is normal” he replied and reached over to grab her hand.  
She pulled away “None of this is fucking normal. You guys are crazy. You better be careful Ian. You may think you know my brother until you've fought my brother” she said then looked over at Mickey. “I honestly thought I would die before you actually made a friend”  
“Fuck off both of you” Mickey replied. “I gotta go open the fucking store” he threw some wadded up cash at Mandy and got up from the table.  
“See you at 4 Gallagher. Enjoy your fucking dessert” he said patting him on the shoulder. Ian watched as he walked to the front door and disappeared outside. As soon as he was gone Mandy was on him.  
“Fuck Ian! Do you have a death wish?”  
“What?” he shrugged his shoulders playfully.  
“No one talks to my brother like that”  
“Really? I couldn't tell. I did think he was gonna kill me a few times” he smiled.  
“Yea moron, me too. You’re lucky he's your boss.” she replied and leaned against him again.  
“Yea I’m really fucking lucky” he sighed and started fidgeting with his hands again as they waited for the server to come back. He wished he could stay with Mandy all day. He could invite her back to the store but she wouldn't want to stay the whole time. It was inevitable, he made his bed and now he had to lie in it. He would have to face Mickey at work but fuck was it worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all the support. This story has gotten more feedback then anything i've written and i love it! Thank you so much you comments and support are what give the courage to give you the dark and twisty things that are in m mind. xoxoxoxo I will update tommarow..another crazy twist :).
> 
> ps: playing around with adding graphics :).


	9. Fucking Disgusting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey gets jealous. Ian has a harder time resisting his body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally. Sorry for delay, had some personal things come up. I really enjoyed writing part of this and some parts i hated as much as you will hate reading them lol i'm sure. Thank you again to my lovely beta and my muse Jessica92. We spent a lot of time delving into the minds of the characters. To really under stand Mickey's need and lust and primal need for dominance and control you need to listen to this song before you read chapter.  
> NIN-Closer  
> https://youtu.be/1tOaQsNa5Js  
> (can't get the fucking link to work! but listen anyway xoxo)  
> it's what i listened to when i wrote the 1st half.
> 
> Thanks again for patiently waiting i hope you enjoy

 

Mickey couldn't keep his eye off the clock as it neared 4pm. He could not believe that his bitch sister had become friends with his Ian. How the fuck did that happen? Out of all the assholes in the South Side she had to find him. What the fuck? The kid was brazen. He was slightly impressed by his boldness but it was extremely stupid. He knew Ian would never have spoken to him like that if his sister wasn't there, if he did one good pop in the mouth and he would learn his place. He couldn't do that around his sister though, at least not to that extent. Ian Gallagher was quickly becoming Mandy's best friend..shit her only friend. He would have to learn how to keep him in check when they were in public. One step at a time. For now he didn't care about the next time the three of them were together, he cared about today. He had made a point to show the kid that his smartass mouth wouldn't be tolerated and the first thing he does is talk shit again. Who did he think he was dealing with? Had he not made himself clear? Did the kid really think he was just gonna let that shit slide, that he was gonna let him talk down to him like some bitch? Fuck that shit..fucking asshole. Kid had another thing coming. It was five minutes to 4pm and he had two customers in the store. One was wandering through the snack aisle, he had been looking at the chip section for like ten fucking minutes, jesus christ. The other asshole was some scraggly fuck ordering lottery tickets and scratching them off at the god damn counter.

“Seriously what does this look like a fucking casino? Do your shit somewhere else” he snapped at the dude after he had handed him a ticket to redeem to buy another fucking ticket. He wasn't about to do this shit all fucking day. Luckily the last one he bought was a losing ticket so the asshole finally left. Now for chip dude. He looked at the clock it was 4:05. The fuck was with this kid and being on time? That was just good work ethic but it seemed he was always fucking late, that was gonna need to be addressed as well. After all he was his boss. He glanced over and watched as the guy grabbed a bag of chips thoughfully then put it back to stare at the shelf again. Holy fuck.

“It's the same shit that was there ten fucking minutes ago man. Either pick something or fuck off” he called out to chip dude. The guy glanced over at him and he could tell he was fucking blazed by the redness of his eyes. He saw the guy grab a bag of hot cheetos.

“Yea great grab those and fucking pepsi and lets move on" he said running his hand through his hair in frustration and leaning on the counter.

Chip dude nods at him and walks over to the cooler pulling out a Mountain Dew then walks over to the counter.

“5.99” he says as he bags the items.

Dude pulls out a few ones and a handful of change and sets it on the counter.

“Are you fucking kidding me dude?” Mickey looks down at the pile of change and licks his lips as he starts counting it into $1 increments. Just as he's about to move on to the second dollar the bells ding on the front door. He looks up and in walks Ian Gallagher. He looked just as smug as he did before at the restaurant and Mickey could feel his temperature rising. He wanted to show him who was boss. To teach him a lesson but he was stuck counting fucking change instead. He went to finish counting but was distracted by the glimpses of red hair moving around the store so he kept losing track. God damn it. He looked up at chip dude and sighed “how much is here?”

“$7" dude replied 

“Great thanks for the tip now get the fuck out” he replied and pointed towards the door.

The guy stared at him momentarily but grabbed his bag and headed out the door.

“Asshole” Mickey muttered scrapping the change in his hand and dumping it into an empty slot in the register. He would count it later with the deposit, he had more important things to do.

He looked up at the clock it was 4:15pm. The kid was 15 minutes late, he couldn't fucking believe it. The balls on this guy. He got up quickly from his chair behind the counter and flipped the sign on the door over to closed and locked up. He looked around and saw Ian in the corner nervously stocking the chips. He could tell the kid knew he was in trouble. He walked over to him and slapped the bag he was holding out of his hand.

“You're late” he said flatly

The kid looked over at him briefly, lifting his shoulders in a half shrug then went back to stocking the chips.

Wow. Ok. He bit his lip and nodded his head as the kid continued to ignore his presence. That was it.

He reached out and grabbed him by the back of the neck, turning his body so he was facing the cooler door. He pressed him up against the glass door firmly and leaned in to whisper in his ear.

“I told you not be late again didn't I? In fact I told you not to do a lot of things today but you did em anyways”

“I took your sister home” Ian said soflty his voice shaking

The kid tried to move his head but couldn't and Mickey realized he still had a firm grip on his neck.

“That right?” Mickey said as he reached his hand down to undo his belt.

“Well that was awfully nice of you red, it's too bad you didn't behave yourself earlier” he said as he slowly moved his hands down unbuttoning the boys jeans. He eagerly pulled the kids pants down to his knees leaving him standing in his boxers.

“Mickey please, I was just joking” Ian said looking over at him eyes pleading.

“Yea?” Mickey scoffed pulling down the kids boxers and squeezing his ass cheek tightly. He stuck his finger in his mouth making sure that it was just wet enough.

“Let's see who's laughing now kid” he said and moved his hand inward pressing his finger slowly into the boys hole.

“Ah” Ian cried at the intrusion.

He smiled at the sound and pressed his finger in further until the boys body pulled him in.

“Fuck kid. That ass is so tight” he said and nipped at his neck. His skin was like butter under his tongue soft and delicate while his finger swirled inside of him. He was already hard from the beginning, but now he could feel his dick leaking from the tightness of the boys hole wrapped around his finger. He moved his finger back and forth and leaned his head on the cooler so he could watch the boys face. He could tell he was trying to hold it in and Mickey would not have that. He slipped a second finger in and wiggled them back in forth in a circular motion until he heard the boy gasp

“Fuck..uh” he watched and Ian rolled his eyes when he found his spot. He reached his other hand around to grab the boys dick. To his delight it was already hard.

“Look at you Gallagher. You're already hard for me you little slut” he says as he begins to stroke him

“Stop Mickey...fuck uh” Ian sighs and Mickey laughs. The kid couldn't even tell him no without sounding like a bitch.

“Stop? We're just getting started man.” he said pulling his fingers out and taking off his belt.

“I think I remember you telling me you were going to be my good boy? Do you remember that?”

“Fuck off Mickey” Ian snaps at him. This fucking guy. It was like he wanted him to fuck him up.

“Yea that's what I thought” he said as he wrapped the belt around his hand to shorten it.

“Well ya did and we agreed that you would be punished if you misbehaved kid. You misbehaved today” He lifted his hands over the boys head so that the belt was pressed up against his neck.

“Mickey I'm”

“You're what?” he growled pulling against the belt allowing it to press more and more on the boys throat.

“I'm sorry”

He pulled one more time, tight enough that he could feel resistance.

“Please” Ian said struggling to speak, his choked words making his hard on scream for attention in his pants.

“You've been a bad boy Ian” he said letting go off the belt with one hand causing the kid to breath heavily. He brought the belt down harshly against the boys soft skin with a resounding smack.

“Shit” Ian yelped and started trying to push him off but he held him down.

“Such a bad boy” he said again and smacked his ass one more time leaving a nice red mark. He tossed the belt aside and reached down to stroke himself. He pressed the kid as hard as he could against the door.

“I AM gonna make you my bitch Gallagher, just you watch,” he said spreading the kids legs wider and lining himself up with his entrance.

He didn't have a condom or lube and frankly he didn't care. It was gonna feel good to him either way. He roughly forced himself inside the boys tightness, he was only able to get halfway in when he was met with resistance. He laughed pushed harder until he had bottomed out.

“Please..uh.” Ian moaned in a mix of pleasure and pain.

“You're gonna be a good boy now aren't you?” Mickey said as he thrust up into him. ..Fuck..He could not get over how good his ass felt. Each time it felt like he was untouched, just waiting for him and only him. He was the first to top Ian and he wanted to be the last. Ian's hole constricted perfectly around him, warm and wet. Fucking perfect.

He thrust up into him again. 

“Uh hu..uh” Ian cried not holding back this time.

Mickey let the sound take him over as he continued to fuck him against the door. Each moan fueling his lust and his need.

“You like that?” he said and kissed the boys neck, biting under his ear. He tasted so good, so soft. Ian let out a hissing sound as his lips moved over his neck. He thought the boys freckles against his pale skin were the hottest thing he had ever seen and wanted to suck them right off. He bit down hard on the boys neck and reached down to stroke him again.

“You taste so good red. So fucking perfect” he said breathlessly and he pounded into the boy. He looked down at his dick in all its glory moving in and out of the kid. His moans now filling the room as he filled him,

“Fuck Mickey..fuck” Ian cried and fell limp against the door under his weight letting his body relax in defeat.

“Mmm yea that's good Gallagher. Don't fight it” he says stroking him again. "Just fucking take it like a good boy” Fuck! He can't believe how sexy the kid is as his hips slowly begin to move back onto him, colliding with his thrusts.

“Yea you fucking like it don't you” he moves his hands up under the boys shirt running his fingers up and down his side.

“Please" Ian sighs loudly.

“Yea fucking say it you dirty bitch” Mickey says completely drunk on the image in front of him.

“Fuck” Ian moans”

“Say it!” he says loudly and grabs him by his hair pulling his head up

“Fuck me” Ian cries

“Again” Mickey whispers seductively in his ear slowing down

“Fuck me Mickey” the boy moans and rutts up against him with his hips, his body begging for it as much as he was.

“Oh don't you worry. I'm gonna fuck the shit out of you kid” he replies and grabs Ian's waist. He's about to thrust into him hard when he hears the turn of a key and the door being unlocked.

“Fuck! Get dressed” he yells at Ian and pushes him off his dick pulling up his pants frantically. His world is spinning as he searches for his belt. Where the fuck did it go...FUCK!!

Ian has pulled up his pants and is leaning against the cooler his face resting against the glass, his eyes are far away and empty.

“Ay? The fuck are you doing Gallagher? Get busy!” Mickey snaps.

Moments later the door opens and in walks his boss and his wife. Fuck me.

 

***********************************************************************************

 

“Kash, Linda.” He says trying to steady his breathing, hormones and adrenaline coursing through his body.

His boss looks over at him and then at Ian who has walked back over to the chip aisle.

“Mickey why does it say we are closed and why was the door locked?” Kash looks at him curiously.

“Uh I was just training the new kid on a few things and I figured it would be easier without the customers distracting him, it was only going to be for like five minutes tops”

He watches as his boss's gaze moves to the redhead in the corner.

“I'm going to grab a few things from upstairs. I trust you've kept the place in order Mickey. Not having a bunch of wild parties in my apartment?” Linda says pushing past her husband and walking over to the stairs.

“Yea of course Linda place is as good as new.” 

It's true, he had made a point to keep the place clean just for her. He didn't care for Kash at all but he respected his wife. She took a chance on him when know one else would and trusted him to run their store. When Linda suggested that he stay in their apartment, he actually felt like someone cared about him for once.

“Alright then. Don't be long Kash, we have to that thing to do and we have reservations at the restaurant”

“Yes dear” the man responded as he watched his wife walk up the stairs.

The man returned his attention to Ian. He walked over and extended his hand.

“Nice to meet you. My name is Kash, I'm the owner”

He watched as Ian grabbed his hand and smiled slightly.

“Ian Gallagher.” he said. He watched as Ian's eyes scanned the man's profile and he could feel himself clenching his fist. What was it with this kid and old dudes, Kash was pushing 40.

His boss glanced over at him then back at Ian. “How long how you been working here Ian? I know Mickey has been trying to find some help for a while”

Ian was now leaning casually against the cart a smile plastered on his face as he talked casually with the owner.

“I've been here about 3 weeks.” he reached around and scratched the back of his neck. “I..i like it. Mickey pays me well and you know I get good hours so..”

“That's good to hear. Not everyone can handle Mickey's finess” Kash laughs and looks over at him.

Ian laughs back and playfully shoves his boss in the shoulder. The fuck?

“Your funny Kash.” Ian grins and puts his hands in his pockets coyly “He doesn't bother me. His bark is worse than his bite”

Fucking arrogant assholes. Fucking guy spends all his time traveling the fucking world while he runs his store, then he has the balls to come here and talk shit. He needed to sit down. He could feel the anger rising in his body and was sure it would be noticeable if he kept standing there that he wanted to punch the both of them in the face.

Kash begins to walk over to him and he can tell Ian is watching as he walks away. The man glances over his shoulder at the boy and smiles before turning to him. He leans his elbows against the counter and stares at Mickey.

“Looks like you may have met your match Milkovich. I like him, he's funny”

“Hi-larious” he says as he pulls up a spread sheet on his computer. No doubt the reason for the suprise visit.

“I'm assuming you decided to drop by because of the inventory?” he says casually as he scrolls through the page typing in numbers from the clipboard on the counter.

“That's right Mickey. We haven't received a report in several days, just wanted to make sure things were going ok. That you weren't in over your head”

Asshole. Thinking he can't handle the job he's been doing for over three fucking years.

“Yea no things are fine, just got caught up with training is all. I'll have all the reports in tonight”

There's suddenly a loud crash that comes from the other side of the store causing them both to stand up and look around. There at the far side of the store is the boy attempting to get up off the floor holding a mostly empty box of peaches, the rest of the fruit was strewn about on the floor.

“Christ Gallagher” Mickey shouts and starts to walk out from behind the register until Kash stops him.

“I got it. Finish your reports”

He watches as the guy walks over to Ian and helps him up. He can see the look in the kids eyes like he is his knight in shining fucking armour. It was disgusting.

They gather the fruit from the ground then the older man grabs one out of the box.

“I love peaches they're so soft you know” he says quietly but it's still loud enough for Mickey to overhear. The guy takes a bite of the peach and looks down at Ian “mm juicy just the way they should be” he says and wipes his mouth winking at Ian. He fucking winked and now Ian..his Ian, is blushing. He is fucking blushing. Normally he would say that it was adorable but right now watching his boss blatantly flirt with....well with what was his, was pissing him off. He had had enough.

“Uh so how long are you gonna be in town, do I need to clear out or what” he says loudly trying to interrupt the disturbing moment unfolding in front of him.

“Thank you for helping me” Ian says in a soft voice that Mickey has never heard before causing his dick to twitch.

“It was my pleasure Ian. Anything I can do. I want to make sure you're comfortable here”

Oh come the fuck on. Really? It was like he wasn't even there, like the two people in front of him were in their own sick bubble of stolen glances and dumb flirting. It sickened him to watch the kid practically trip over himself as he walked over to the fruit stand. His boss started walking back towards him “I'm sorry Mickey did you say something?”

Mickey took a deep breath to gain his composure “I said, how long are you guys in town for. Do I need to pack my shit?”

The fucking guy still wasn't giving him his full attention his eyes kept wandering over to Ian who was stocking the fruit stand, ocassionally glancing over.

“Uh no. No need for that Mickey we are leaving tomorrow. We actually had a few things we needed to address that is why we stopped in”

“I see. Ok well everything's fine here” he said hoping to comfort his boss enough so that he and his wife would fuck off.

He hears the door close upstairs and watches as Linda makes her way down the steps. She looks over at Kash.

“Did you ask him?” she says crossing her arms

Mickey is confused. “ask me what?”

“Damn it Kash. Do I have to do everything myself?” she looks over at Mickey.

“Linda honey let's not. It's not like we need the money.” Kash says and gestures around the store.

“I know that Kash but it's principle. People can't think they can get away with things like that or they will ruin us”

His boss puts his hand on his face and shakes his head.

“We were robbed” Linda says flatly and turns back to him.

"What?" he replies still completely confused at what he had to do with the situation.

“We're walking to the car when these punks came up from behind. They took my purse and his wallet. Mickey they have all our cards and our passports. You need to get them back”

Before he has a chance to respond Kash is talking again, “Linda we can just cancel the cards”

“No Kash, we will not cancel the cards, we will not wait six weeks for new passports! Grow a pair. It's not like your doing anything any way, I'm asking Mickey. He owes us.”

She had him there. He could give a fuck less about Kash, but he owed Linda everything. She hired him and payed him well, put a roof over his head. If he needed to beat down a couple punks who stole her shit he would gladly oblige.

“You see what they look like, where they went?” he says rubbing his nose with his knuckles.

“They ran down the street into a bar. I don't even know if they are still there” she replied and looked at him with sadness in her eyes. Fucking girls and their dumb ass eyes. He suddenly felt the need to protect her and to give these assholes what they deserve. Fucking bullshit. Talk about the ultimate fucking cock block. Whatever it's not like the kid was fucking going anywhere. He would just pick up where he left off once his bosses decided they were ready to fuck off.

He walked back around to the register and reached into the cubby. He pulled out a 9mm like the one he had upstairs. You can't go wrong with a 9mm and for Mickey there was no such thing as too many guns. He cocked the gun and looked over at his boss.

“He don't know the register yet, so you'll have to watch it while were gone”

“Of course. Thank you Mickey”

“Yea whatever come on Linda, Let's get this shit over with” he says walking out the door Linda following behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know..i know Kash is soo gross, but i needed a way to make Mick jealous and his boss hits close to home. PLus it sucks but we all know that Ian was at one time attracted to him. Sorry for the metaphorical blue balls xoxo


	10. I Just Wanna Feel Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian is left at the store with Kash. Mickey helps linda get her stuff back. Ian sees multiple sides of Mickey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter. This one does get a bit dicey as Mickey jealousy bubbles over. I debated writing it but it felt necessary with the theme of the story. As always thank you to my lovely beta Jessica92 for helping keep me inspired and staying in the minds of my characters. This chapter is rough, and dark. It opens up a new setting for our boys outside the Kash & Grab which is important for later chapters. OUtlined the whole story last night so i hope to keep the chapters coming there are 16 total. xoxo Thank you for reading. 
> 
> PS: just pretend the Ian gif is at night lol

He stood their silently and watched as Mickey left with Linda, a wave of relief sweeping over him. He hated how his body would react to Mickey now. It was like his brain and his body were separate when he was inside him. His brain telling him how much he hated Mickey, telling him how he should put up a fight, stand up for himself. His body would disagree, it would tell him to relax, to embrace the feeling of skin against skin, to welcome the dominant hands that would ravage his body like he was a piece of property. Fuck he hated Mickey. He would just quit, no job was worth this but it wasn't that simple anymore. Mickey knew where he lived, his sister was his best friend, he was in too deep. He was scared of what he could do if he truly did make him angry. The realization hit like Mickey's slap in the face hard and painful. He was loosing himself, stuck, he just needed to feel something. He needed something to help him grasp on to what was left of him before he was gone.  
“You OK Ian?” Kash's voiced echoed through the store.  
He looked up and saw that he was gripping the squash in his hand tightly, he had gotten lost in his thoughts for a moment forgetting he was not alone.  
“Uh yea sorry just got a lot on my mind” he replied and rubbed his temple with his fingers.  
“Don't apologize. I'm sorry you're feeling so stressed, anything I can do to help you?” the man said staring at him, hi eyes scanning his frame.  
He was about to say he was fine when he realized this is what he needed. This is how he would feel like himself again. The guy seemed soft, like a pushover . Judging by the way his wife spoke to him he honestly seemed like a pussy. He could not see this dude as a top which meant he would have control again. He sat the box of vegetables down and walked over to the door.  
The mans eyes were drinking him in the closer he got filling him up with the confidence and pride he'd been lacking. He flipped the sign and turned the lock. The action making his stomach growl but this time in excitement rather than fear. He walked over to the registrar and leaned over so that he was eye to eye with the man.  
“What do you think Kash? You think there's something you can to do to help me?”  
The man adams apple bobbed in his throat as he he nodded, hanging off of his every word.  
“I think you could take my stress away don't you. I need someone to take it from me” his voice was low and seductive. He knew he was not being as candid as he originally thought but at least he was making a point.  
The man stood up quickly surprising him, he had to fight the urge to flinch at the sudden movement which made him want this even more.  
“I can take anything you want me too” Kash replied and grabbed his hand.  
“hold on” he said taking his hand back and walking over to the cooler where his stuff was still sitting on the floor. He grabbed his backpack to make sure he had his essentials then walked back over to the man.  
“Let's go” he smiled deviously and the two proceeded to the storage room.

 

That was too easy. He had expected at least a little resistance but as soon as he spotted the boys he knew it would be over quick. Linda had described them before he went inside. He had told her to wait in the car because he didn't know how things would go down and he was always prepared for the worst, after all he was a Milkovich. He saw the three guys playing pool in the corner, they looked about his age. Normally he wouldn't care if someone was going around stealing shit as long as it wasn't from his family or his store, this was the South Side. He knew better than anyone you do what you need to survive and take what you can. It was survival of the fittest, however Linda had slipped into a subcategory in his mind. She was not family but he still felt the urge to protect her. Her being robbed felt like he was being robbed and that was not OK.  
“Ay. you the guys who knocked over those towel heads at the airport?” he says casually as he walks over to the pool table.  
“Who the fuck are you?” one of the boys laughs and looks at him, he's got blonde hair in a pony tail and 666 on his arm. He looked like a douche honestly, some punk kid trying to look tough but robbing people from behind, come on.  
They are still laughing at him waiting or an answer. He gets that sometimes, he's shorter so people can occasional doubt his ability but it's short lived just like with these punks. He walks closer to the guy and bites his lip before throwing a punch.  
“Fuck dude” the guy cries grabbing his nose.  
“I'm the guy who asked you a fucking question asshole” he says and pulls out his gun, he cocks it and smiles smugly at the guys who are now staring wide eyed.  
[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2ihbaxd)  
“Fuck man. Relax, we were just playing what do you want?” the blonde replies his voice shaky and light as he holds his face.  
“All of it. The purse, the cards, the passports now”  
The guys holds up his hands as he gestures to the fat one next to him.  
“Get it Patrick”  
Patrick glares at him but reaches down to his back pack and pulls out the stuff and throws it on the table.  
“This was fun” Mickey laughs as he grabs the purse and shoves the wallet inside.  
“If you ever go near those two again” he says thoughtfully “ well let's just say this was warning. Next time I wont go so easy on you” he replies then turns and walks out of the bar.  
Fuck that felt good. The feeling of the guys flesh beneath his fist. He needed that today. Linda was so relieved when he hopped in the driver seat and threw her purse at her.  
“We're square now” he said as he started the car, even though he knew he would do it again if she asked. They could never truly be even.  
“Oh thank you Mickey” she replied reaching out and wrapping her arms around him.  
“Yea yea. OK” he said pushing the women away, it was a level of intimacy he was not familiar with and it made him very uncomfortable.  
“Will you take me back to the hotel Mickey. I have no reason to go back to the store and who knows what else Kash needs to get done. It gives me a headache just thinking about it”  
Mickey sighed but agreed. One less person in the store. All he would need now is to get Kash out of there, fucking creep. He pulled up to a very nice hotel and dropped Linda off at the front. A quick wave goodbye and he was off. He was eager to finish what he started and he was on a high still from the confrontation. He could already hear Ian calling his name, maybe he would take him upstairs once his boss left and watch him ride him again. His eyes rolled back, his face twisted up in a mixture of pleasure and self loathing. Fuck. He adjusted himself already turned on by the image in his head.  
He parked the car an walked up to the front door. The moment he went to open the door and it was locked he could feel his stomach churn. No fucking way, he wouldn't. Fuck. They couldn't. He unlocked the door and walked into the store. There was no one to be seen but he could hear enough to confirm his suspicions. He couldn't believe it. Kash was a married man for crying out loud plus he was fucking creepy old. What was with this kid and banging dudes twice his age? Sure he was older but he wasn't fucking 40 or 50. He could feel the rage warming the pit of his stomach as he walked over to the storage room. He saw Ian threw the window and his boss beneath him. He had almost forgotten Ian was a top, a part of him felt relieved that he was the one doing the fucking but at the same time it almost made it worse. Ian was his. He should know that by now but instead he's off fucking someone else, this fucking dude. Nope. He opens the door.  
“Lookey here” he says loudly causing Ian to stop and turn around. His eyes are wide and his mouth is open, Mickey can feel his shock.  
“You guys having some queerbo sex in here?”  
“Mickey” Kash responds as he zips up his pants  
“Shut up you sick fuck.” he yells fighting the urge to deck him in the face because he needed his job. “You're fucking married Kash and he's a kid. You get off on little kids you perverted fuck?”  
He hears Ian laugh slightly but he moves his hands to block the full sound.  
“What? You think this is funny faggot?” he says and pushes Ian back into the wall. He doesn't have to play nice with him. Fuck him, he'll deal with him later first Kash needs to leave.  
“I should call the cops on you fucking pedophile” Mickey snaps at his boss.  
“What do you want Milkovich hm? Tell me what you want and it's yours if you leave Linda and the cops out of it”  
This fucking guy was trying to barter with him. Thinks he can buy him off like some cheap bitch. Fuck that, this could ruin him and he knows it. He might as well take advantage of this fucked up situation.  
“I want a raise” he says flatly.  
“Done”  
“5$” he already made 17$ so that would bring him to 22$ an hour to fucking run a convenient store. How much better could it get.  
“5$ Mickey? How am going to explain that to Linda”  
Really dude? “I'm guessing it's gonna be easier then explaining that you fuck little boys” he says and raises his brow.  
“Fine”  
“Great now get the fuck out of here. You may own this place but it's my store. I do everything here, it's mine. I don't need you to fucking babysit so leave” he says confident the man will take his words and run. He does, he grabs his jacket and his briefcase and leaves the store. 

Mickey looks back over at Ian who is staring at his shoes and playing with the cuff of his shirt.  
He leans against the door and stares at him. He's truly disgusted, he can't even think about that creeps hands on his skin, or him saying Ian's name, it made him nauseous. Did they kiss? No. He's not gonna think about it.  
“That was low Gallagher” he says staring at the kid.  
Ian looks up at him his eyes are willful and defiant. “Fuck you Mickey. You can't control who I can I can't sleep with. You and me are nothing don't you get it” the kid shouts.  
Hes forgotten his place clearly. He needs to be reminded that he is his, he does have that control but not now, not yet. He's expecting him to lash out to take him right there, he wants to. He want to press Ian so hard against the wall he cries in pain but he can wait. The smell of that Arab fuck is probably still lingering on him anyway. He looks back up at Ian theirs eyes fixed.  
“Oh don't worry kid you're nothin to me. Your a dirty whore, a plaything to be used and thrown away. I mean look at you? Tripping over your self like a bitch for some guy old enough to be your dad. You're so fucking pathetic it's disgusting. Face it kid your a little slut, that's all you'll ever be to anyone, just a warm mouth to pass the time” he watches as Ian's expression change, the confidence now falling from his eyes replaced with self doubt. That's what he was looking for. The last time he spoke to him like that, preyed on his weakness he didn't mean it, this time he did at least in the moment. He was so disgusted he couldn't keep standing there.  
“get your shit and go home. You're done for the day” He said and started to leave.  
“But Mickey I still have 4 hours left..”  
“Did I fucking stutter, get the fuck outta my store, come back tomorrow” he yelled and walked over to register. He flipped over the sign and sat down in his chair. Fuck. This was too much bullshit for one fucking day. He saw a glimpse of red hair and watched as Ian walked past him to the door.  
“Ay kid, if you're late again you're fired. I don't give a fuck what the excuse is you hear me?”  
Ian nods.  
“Good now fuck off”

Going to work was weird now. Yea it has always been weird and uncomfortable but now he was confused. It had been a week since he was since the indecent with Kash and Mickey was ignoring him. He wasn't talking to him at all unless it was directly related to work. It was almost like he had stepped into a time machine, back to when he first started working there. There were no degrading comments or unwanted touches. It was just him and his job. Occasionally he would catch the guy staring at him and they would lock eyes for a moment, just as quickly Mickey would look away and busy himself with something. He took a second to process that it could truly be over, maybe Kash was what he needed to show Mickey he was couldn't control him despite what he thought. Fucking A. He had finally put the guy in his place, he had taken the situation into his own hands and it actually paid off. He wanted to give himself a pat on the shoulder but that would be to weird.  
He went back to rotating the sodas in the drink cooler when he heard a familiar voice.  
“Hi, I'm Ian's sister Fiona. Is he here?”  
“he's over at the cooler” Mickey replied.  
“I just wanted to say thank you for givin him this job. It means so much to us. You know we've been strugglin and with it almost bein winter. Just thank you”  
“No problem. He's a good kid” Mickey replied, he could hear the sarcasm in his voice but Fiona would never detect it.  
He watched as his sister visited with his boss for few more minutes before walking over to him.  
“hey kiddo”  
Ian rolled his eyes. He was not a child.  
“What are you doing here Fi?” he crossed his arms and leaned against the cooler.  
“just wanted to see where you work. You spend all your time here now, just wanted to say hi”  
“oh” he replied feeling like a jerk “thanks for stopping buy. It's just been really busy we are finally staring to slow down” he lied not wanting to talk about the past any further.  
“Well OK. Mickey seems nice. Hard to believe he's a Milkovich bein a general manager. He spoke fondly of you, is he the same one who knows your secret?”  
“yea” he said fidgeting with his hands trying not to think of hands touching him.  
“Look fi I gotta get back to work before I get in trouble”  
“Alright kiddo. Well he seems nice to me, don't know why you hate him”  
“I just do OK, can you drop it”  
“It's dropped. See you tonight?”  
He wanted to say yes but he didn't know. He'd been out of control for so long tonight felt like a good night to let loose, maybe meet up with Ned if he wasn't busy or go to the movies and get wasted with Mandy.  
“Don't wait up” he replied and saw the look of disappointment in his sisters eyes.  
“Just be safe OK” she said and hugged him tightly before walking away.  
“Nice to meet you Mickey”  
“ditto” his manager said waiving a dismissive hand then glancing over at him.  
What a smug asshole. It had to impossible for the guy to be genuinely nice, for him to care about someone other than himself. He was so glad he had lost interest in him. He was feeling like he was loosing himself and that was a scary feeling. He shook off the feeling and went back to rotating the cooler.

 

The day went by surprisingly fast. He helped Mickey with inventory and swept and mopped the floor as he counted the deposit. They closed and went their separate ways all the while not saying a word to each other. It was weird, awkward but Mickey seemed fine. He needed to go to the gas station and get some smokes. Sure he could try to buy them at work but Mickey would refuse to sell just to be a dick, so instead he walked 4 blocks down the road to the local 1stop. This was his usual gas station, he frequented it on his way to school or home from work. The guy who worked there never asked him for his ID. Either he didn't care or he liked it when Ian would smile or laugh at the stupid jokes he always had. He didn't care as long as he got his smokes. He left the gas station but was feeling hungry now, if he met up with Ned the guy would take him out to dinner but he was hungry now, maybe something light. He saw the golden arches of McDonald and heard his stomach grumble. Yep that was it. He walked inside and looked at the menu, the smell of grease and bacon filling his nose. He decided chicken nuggets and a coke sounded like the perfect snack to satiate his hunger. He would probably work up an appetite before they even had dinner because he had not see the man in so long. He would probably attack him and he was fine with that. He liked Ned, he took him out, ordered him room service. The guy made him feel special. He smiled at the thought as he inhaled his nuggets. He felt better now. He was ready to let loose and enjoy the night, something he had not done in a very long time. He calls Ned and they make plans to meet. He starts walking down the street to the train station and gets an uneasy feeling. He debates whether it's the food he ate of if indeed someone is following him. He starts to walk faster when he hears foot steps against the pavement. He is definitely being followed. 

!!!!!!TRIGGER WARNING GRAPHIC FORCED SEX!!!!!!!  
THIS IS A NON CONSENTUAL SCENE TOLD IN BOTH POVS  
YOU CAN SKIP DOWN TO THE ***** TO MOVE PAST THIS XO

He felt someone grab him and shove him into the alley. It was dark and he couldn't see who it was until they spoke.  
“You really shouldn't be out here so late on your own red” Mickey said as he walked up to the kid.  
“Mickey? Wait why are you here? Did you follow me?” he's confused, what is happening? Why was he here?  
“It's a dangerous neighbor hood kid. Someone might try and take advantage of you if you're not careful” he says and pushes Ian up against the wall. Hes been waiting for this moment. The look of genuine surprise in the kids eyes, the moment when he realizes that it is not over, it's not even close to over was fueling his need for control. He pushes him up against him and roughly plants their lips together, his tongue prying its way into his mouth.  
Ian tries to push him away but the hand holding him is firm.  
“The fuck is wrong with you Mickey?” he snaps turning from the kiss. Mickey looks at him for a moment then slaps him across the face hard, his ears are ringing and he can taste iron in his mouth. He spits on the ground and looks up at the guy. He is seeing and tasting red.  
“Think you're a big man? Think you're tough guy Mickey? You're not your a coward” he laughs and locks eyes with Mickey.  
Mickey rubs his nose with his knuckle then punches him in the stomach. He watches as Ian sinks to the ground that's scattered with trash and filth. He quickly unbuttons his pants, he's hard already at the sight of the kid on his knees.  
“Suck it” he says his voice cold and demanding.  
Ian looks up at him, he could tell his is scared but he also looks ready to fight and willful.  
“You're fucking crazy” he spits on the ground again, his lips smeared with drops of crimson.  
“You really need to shut the fuck up” Mickey replies and grabs him by the head forcing himself into his mouth. He can't breath, as Mickey thrust deep into his mouth causing him to gag. He feels the tears running down his face.  
Mickey watches as he hold the kids head down against him, he can feel his warm throat constricting around him as he fucks his face. He can feel himself getting close and shoves him off.  
“get up”  
He tries to stand up from the ground but is not quick enough, Mickey lifts him up and throws him against the trash can. He feels like he going to be sick as his face and body are pressed against it. He feels his pants being roughly pulled down around his ankles.  
He looks so innocent pressed up against the trash can but Mickey knew he was anything but.  
He reached up and touched the boys inner thigh spreading his legs. He pushed forcefully inside his ass, the tightness and warmth consuming him.  
He felt a burning pain as Mickey entered him. It had been a week since he had fucked him and his body was trying to resist the intrusion but Mickey pushed through.  
“You such a fucking whore” Mickey panted as he thrust up into him  
“uh.” he couldn't help that sound that escaped his lips and Mickey fucked into him hard and fast.  
“shut up!” Mickey whispered and put his hand over his mouth to muffle his moans.  
Mickey could feel himself getting close, between the muffled cries of the boy beneath him and the tightness around him he was ready to explode.  
“You wanna be a cheap fuck hmm? That's all you are. You wanna act like trash” he panted thrusting into him hard “I'll treat you like trash”  
That was it, he felt the heat rise in his body as he came inside the boys abused hole. He shoved him off and pulled his pants on, then walked away leaving Ian alone. 

*******************************************************************************  
Ian waited for another comment but there was nothing. He turned around to find himself alone, his pants around his ankles, his ass aching and filled with cum. He had never felt so degraded in his life. Nothing he had done, or been made to do made him feel as low as he did now. He felt used and he felt..he felt sick. Fuck. He turned his face and wretched on the ground. His hands were shaking as he wiped his face. He pulled up his pants and tried to forget the sinking feeling in his stomach as he tried to compose himself. He was not expecting that, he was not expecting anything at all, not anymore. Things seemed like they had gone back to normal. Now he didn't know what to expect,what was real. He couldn't go see Ned now, the thought made him almost hurl again. He was not going home, he was a mess. His lip was split and his eyes were red from crying, his hands were scratched from the floor of the alley. He couldn't go home, too many questions. What was he going to do? Mandy! He needed to see Mandy, she would help him, she would take care of him. He could be safe with her. Her lit up a cigarette and took a deep drag inhaling the nicotine into his body trying to regain his composure as he walked down the dark street to the train station. 

He stepped off the platform and ran. He didn't know why he was running but it felt good in the moment. He was feeling small and suffocated and running made him feel like he could breath. He ran up the stairs to her house and banged on the door but there was no answer. He knocked again, she had to home. He needed this one thing to go his way. When the door opened and he saw Mandy standing there he felt a huge waive of relief.  
“Oh my god Ian what happened?” she shouted in surprise looking him up and down.  
“I need to see you. I...I didn't know where else to go” he says as he watches himself break down and cry.  
[](http://tinypic.com?ref=ztuadc)  
“Come on, get inside” she said grabbing his arm and pulling him in the house.  
He looks around to see she is alone, at this point he didn't care, he just wanted her company, it comforted him.  
She walked over to the kitchen and pulled a bag of peas out of the freezer and wet a washcloth. She placed the homemade Ice pack on his lip and they sat down on the couch.  
“Ian what happened?” she looks at him he could see the pity in her eyes and it hurts.  
“I don't wanna talk about it” he felt so dirty he looked up at Mandy “Can I take a shower? Is that OK?”  
She smiles at him and gives him a hug. “Yes but hurry up we're not done here” she said and pointed to the bathroom.  
He walked inside and locked the door. He stripped his clothes and stepped into the shower ready to wash away the night. The water felt warm on his skin and he felt his body relaxing. He scrubbed himself clean and toweled off. He got dressed and walked back out into the living room and st down next to his best friend.  
“Thank you. I really needed that”  
She nodded. “was it your boyfriend?” she says searching his face for a reaction.  
“He's not my boyfriend OK.” he snaps because the thought of her brother that way made him feel disgusting.  
“OK OK fuck. Well whoever he is, he's a fucking asshole and you should leave his ass” she replies and lights up a joint.  
“I can't” he says defeated. Mickey had made it clear he had NO boundaries, if he quit he would find him.  
“Why?”  
“Mandy please can we just smoke weed and not talk about this?” he looked over at her and could see she was worried but she reluctantly stood up from the couch and turned on the TV. She tossed the controller in his lap and hit the joint. “Fine. I'll just kick your ass on some Grand Theft Auto” she handed him the joint and he took a long hit letting the smoke fill his lungs.  
“Yea we'll see about that” he replies slowly blowing out the smoke as he talked. He could feel himself getting lighter and lighter until he was completely relaxed. His eyes were focused on the game an his brain had finally stopped running around in circles slowing down long enough for him to just enjoy the moment. It would be just his luck that the moment was short lived. Mandy had won two games and they were about to start a third when the front door opened. A chill ran down his spine when he heard Mickey's voice.  
“Are you out of your mind? Have you seen that pony tail? “ Mickey steps through the door followed by two other guys.  
“That's powerful fucking pony tail, Segal could totally kick van dams ass” He says smugly then turn to them on the couch.  
“Gallagher!” he smirks. “What a nice surprise. What are you doing here?”  
“Isn't it obvious Mickey” Mandy replies “he's getting his ass kicked”  
“What? You can't get beat by a girl man” he laughs and walks over to the fridge. He comes back and hands him a beer.  
“Shove over faggots. Watch and learn” he says taking a swig of his beer and plucking the controller out of his hand.  
What the fuck is happening right now? This was way too much. He cam here too escape and now he was sitting between his best friend and the guy he hated with a burning passion powerless. It was so weird to see this side of Mickey, the playful, joking side he shared with his brothers and Mandy. He didn't understand how it was the same person who had attacked him less than an hour ago.

“Aw fuck did you see that shit” Mickey jumped up from the couch, throwing down the controller when he won the game.  
“That's how you do it Red” he laughed.  
“Can we turn this shit off Mands we got a movie” one of the guys says.  
Ian looks over and Mandy who immediately rolls her eyes.  
“Iggy, Colin this is Ian. He's my friend and he works with Mickey”  
“Nice to meet you” he says.  
“No one says that shit anymore Gallagher” Mickey shakes his head in amusement and offers him another beer. He takes it and leans back against the couch letting it swallow him up.  
They sit their in the dark and watch the Avengers. He's actually been waning to see this movie for quite sometime. There is a blunt being passed around the room and everyone is laughing at Tony Stark's witty banter. He feels a hand on his leg but doesn't aknowledge it. He wants to get sucked into the show and forget about everything. He leans his head on Mandy's shoulder and in turn she leans on him.

Suddenly there is a crash as the door swings open.  
“Why the hell is is so goddamn dark in here?” a loud voice echoes through the room.  
“Shit” Mickey mutters getting up from the couch quickly to turn on the light.  
“we were just watching a movie you drunk asshole” Mandy replies as she takes a drag from the blunt and passes it to Ian.  
Mickey is staring between his sister and his father and Ian can feel the tension in the room.  
“What did you say bitch?” the man yells and starts stumbling over to the couch.  
“You're drunk dad go lay down” Mickey says firmly.  
“And let that bitch talk to me like that I don't think so” he shouts and lunges for Mandy.  
“Damn it” Mickey sighs and he reaches out for his father. Ian watches as Iggy joins attempting to tackle him, The man is strong and pushes Iggy away easily. Mickey is not shaken so easy so the man turns around and punches him the face hard.  
“Terry stop!” Mandy is shouting but the guy seems intent on making his son bleed. Ian watches in shock as the person who he feared was thrown up against the wall.  
“Get the fuck off me” Mickey shouts as he tries to push his dad off.  
“Fucking little bitch. Who do you think you are this is my house” the man yells as he lifts his son off the ground by his shirt.  
“Fucking dick” Mickey yells as he knees his dad in the groin hard.  
“Fuck” Terry shouts and lets go of Mickey.  
That's when Ian see's all the anger in the boys eyes flood to the surface as he punches his dad in the face dropping him to the ground. He kicks him in the stomach over and over until his brother is holding him back. He forces himself to look away and returns his attention to Mandy who is huddled in the corner of the couch, her head in her lap. He scoots close to her and strokes her hair.  
“Hey. You're OK” he says and kisses her head. She reaches over and hugs him tightly, her body is still shaking .  
He holds her and look over at Mickey, their eyes meet  
“Go home Gallagher” he says coldly.  
“I'm gonna stay with your sister “  
Mickey's eyes light up and if looks could kill he would be dead.  
“I said get the fuck out!”  
He kisses Mandy on the head again and promises to text her when gets home. He grabs his back pack and looks back once more and the fucked up scene in front of him before walking out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you it was dicey. Poor ian he doesn't know up from down anymore and Mickey has now shown 3 sides of himself, the bad guy, the brother and the victim. #mindfuck   
> So excited for the rest of this story i hope you are too. Thank you for reading xoxoxo


	11. Empty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian hangs out with Mickey and Mandy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to get this up today. It was kinda a busy day. I hope you enjoy this chapter, as i said before it's a slow build to #feels. Thank you jessica92 for helping me with the conversation . almost everything Ian says in his chat with Mickey comes from the mind of my wonderful beta. XOXOXO Enjoy guys.

He hated going to work now. Sure he hated it before but now he was always on edge. At least before he wasn't wondering when of if something would happen, he wasn't on eggshells. He knew Mickey wanted him because his advances were direct and forceful. Now he was just waiting and watching. He would go to work and again Mickey ignored him. He wasn't as naive as before, he knew it was only a matter of time before he was approached again. He just didn't know when and where it would happen. Ever since that night in the alley he had kept up his guard. He refused to be taken by surprise like that again, to be treated like a trick on the street corner. He was worth more than that.

 

Mickey watched as the kid moved around the store. Every day he watched wondering if he still had control. Everything went perfectly that night, he could tell by the look in the kids eyes when he was on his knees he knew who was the boss. He had him exactly where he wanted him until his dad came home. Fucking Terry, drunk piece of shit. Ian was the one place he felt he had control, the thing in his life that feed his hunger, helped him escape and Terry had to fucking ruin it. He felt completely stripped when he was attacked in front of Ian. He could see the pity and confusion in the boys eyes and that was the complete opposite of how it was supposed to be. He was not supposed to pity him, feel sorry for him. He was supposed to fear him, to want to please him, to submit to him.

It had been several days and he couldn't work up the nerve to approach Ian. He didn't want the kid to see him as a victim, he couldn't handle that. He needed Ian to see him as authority and dominant. He needed it, he craved it. He watched as the kid swept the floor, another day coming to and end. He wanted him badly. He wanted to feel his lips around him, to touch his skin with his tongue. Fuck it. It had been too long, the longer he waited the harder it would be to maintain the control he had established. He was worrying to much, there was no way one night could undo all of their time together. He stood up from his chair and locked the door flipping the sign over. They didn't close for another 30 minutes so he watched and waited for the kids reaction. He doesn't seem to notice until he approaches him.  
“Jesus Mickey.” Ian says jumping at his touch  
“On your knees Red” he says and starts to undo his belt.  
“Please can we just close up and go home” Ian says looking at him his eyes pleading.  
Does he think he's soft now. Does he think he could flash and sad look and he would get his way. He smacks him in the face and repeats himself.  
“ on your fucking knees”  
To his satisfaction the kid leans the broom against the wall and drops to his knees and stares at the ground.  
“get on with it”  
He start slowly stroking him, his grip is firm yet gentle. He looks down and is met with Ian's green eyes. He loved looking in his eyes, they showed more emotion than his face. He cocked his head and looked at him expectantly and then there were lips around him, soft pinks lips moving up and down his hard shaft. He ran his hand through the boys hair as he became lost in the feeling of his warm mouth. He loved it fast and rough but nothing compared to when Ian moved at his own pace.  
“Good boy, just like that” he said his hand still on his head pushing him down further.  
“mmm” Ian sighed softly as his mouth moved over his cock.  
“Yea you like that dick in your mouth don't you” Mickey said breathlessly.  
“Touch yourself” he demanded waiting for the boy to reach down into his pants. Instead he locked his eyes with his and continued bobbing his head. It was the sexiest thing having those eyes staring at him heavy and penetrating but he wanted more. He gripped his hair harder.  
“I said touch yourself red”  
Ian brought his hands down to his pants and unzipped his jeans slowly pulling out his dick. He began to move his hand back and forth, his mouth still wrapped firmly around him.  
“uh” he moaned around his dick as he increased the speed of his hands.  
Mickey could tell he was going to cum as he watched Ian's mouth move around him, opening wider to let out a gasp or a chocked moan as he touched himself.  
“Fuck kid I'm gonna cum” he sighed and shot hot spurts down the boys throat.  
Ian groaned loudly and lifted his face from his dick. His face was flushed and Mickey could see the cum on his fingers. He reached down and grabbed the boys hand sticking two fingers in his mouth, causing Ian's breath to hitch. He sucked the boys fingers clean then leaned in and planted a kiss firmly on his mouth. He was reluctant to let him in but he manged to make his way inside the boys mouth, moving his tongue around briefly before pulling away.  
“such a good boy Ian. Looks like you learned your lesson hm? You're mine. I mean look at you” he says and runs his hand down the boys face. Ian looked so sexy standing there, his eyes filled with lust and confusion.  
“You be a good boy and we wont have a problem you understand. I don't want to have to punish you again but I will”  
The kid was staring at the ground but he nodded. That was good enough for now.  
“ Good, now clean yourself up and fuck off. We're done for the night” he said buttoning his pants. Ian looked at him briefly then walked to the bathroom.

**************************************************************************  
He walked down the street having the same argument in his head. This would never be over, it would go on forever at least it felt that way. It felt like Mickey had won. It would be easier just to give up and take it, to stop fighting all the time. No! No! He couldn't do that. He was a Gallagher and Gallaghers did not quit. He needed to stand his ground but he was afraid. He was nobody's bitch though. He hated Mickey for making him think he was. He hated his body for betraying him more and more making it harder and harder to resist giving in. Fuck. He needed to escape. He approached his house and walked into the back yard. He opened the door to the van they had and hopped in the front seat. This was his place to escape. He opened the glove box and was happy to find his joints were still there. He needed to get high, high as a fucking kite and stop thinking about things he couldn't control.

The windows are up and the van is filled with smoke hot boxing his lungs. He feels lighter than air, like he could float away from everyone and everything. He likes this feeling, he needs this feeling. A knock on the door causes him to jump. He looks through the smoke and see's his big brothers face pressed against the window. He pushes the door open the cloud of smoke billowing out into the night sky.  
“You OK man?” lip says and sits in the passenger seat pulling the door closed behind him.  
“Gotta a lot on my mind man” he replies still caught in the floaty feeling of his high.  
“Like what?” his brother reaches over and grabs the joint from his hand.  
He leans his head on the door lazily and stares at him. Out of everyone in his family he was closet with his brother. They were closet in age and always had each others back. Lip was the first person he came out too, he felt like he could tell him anything. He could tell him anything, just not this. Not the details.  
“I feel like I'm loosing myself. Like pieces of me are falling away and soon there will be nothing left” he says and looks at his brother.  
Lip takes a drag of the joint “Whoa man, that's some deep shit” he says as the smoke flows from his nostrils.  
Ian can't help but laugh. “yea it is man. I just can't be myself anymore. I keep waiting for bad things to happen and it's getting to be to much for me to handle. I just..i just wanna give up you know?”  
Lip looks at him thoughtfully and extend his hand touching his shoulder.  
“Listen to me Ian. Your gay on the South Side. It's always gonna be scary. What you need to do is find someone your age to fuck and work out some of that anxiety” he smiled and patted his shoulder.  
God he loved his brother. He loved that he was there for him and that he would give him advice. He knew his heart was in the right place but for once his advice was useless.  
“Thanks Lip” he smiled and took a hit of his joint.  
“Yep. It's like 12am Ian, maybe finish that up and go to bed”  
“Yea OK. I'll be up in a few” he replied. He watched as his brother got out of the van and disappered into the house. He sank back into the seat and finished his joint letting his high transport him away from reality once more.

He woke up the next day and it was already 12pm. Fuck he had gotten so high last night. He sat up and was relieved to have a day off. The store was closed on Sundays, so no school and no work. He had made plans with Mandy today to get high and go to mall. Neither one of them had money but the figured it would fun to get blazed out of their minds and make fun of people in the food court, not to mention the free samples. He took a shower and got dressed. He grabbed his green tank top, it was his favorite because it made his hair stand out. He slipped on pair of black jeans and grabbed his hoody. He was ready to go. He ran down the stairs to see his sister in the kitchen with her boyfriend.  
“Nice to see you up finally” she said looking at him with frustration.  
“Uh yea. Late night I guess” he replied scratching his head.  
“Well you gonna eat something at least before you leave again?”  
“Mandy and I will grab something at the mall Fi thank's anyways” he said and gave his sister a hug.  
“Jimmy” he waved at Fiona's boyfriend who was sitting at the table.  
Fuck the sun was so bright when he walked out the front door. Maybe he would get sunglasses if he could find a cheap pair.

He walked the 4 blocks to Mandy's house and knocked on the door.  
“Ian come in. I'm almost ready” she said grabbing his arm and pulling him inside.  
“Who's at the damn door?” Mickey's voice came from the back of the house.  
“It's for me shithead” Mandy shouted and rolled her eyes. “Wait here I just gotta grab some papers”  
Ian nodded and stood in the hallway. Within minutes he saw Mickey walking out of the back room, he was wearing a white tank top and shorts.  
“Gallagher? Whatchya doin here?” he said, holding a weight in his hand.  
“I'm here for Mandy” he said shortly. He didn't want to have a conversation, he just wanted to leave.  
“Yea? What are you gonna do with my sister kid?”  
He looked at Mickey then at the ground, ignoring his question.  
“Really? You ignoring me now? I thought we had a deal.” he said and stepped closer.  
“Alright Ian lets go” Mandy said appearing from around the corner.  
“Where the fuck you goin anyways?” Mickey snapped at his sister.  
“Were going to the mall asshole. Gonna make fun of people and get shit faced” she smiles at Ian “lets go”  
“Wait not so fast. How fucking lame are you kid?” he looks at him and raises his brow “ We should go shoot some guns and get shit faced”  
“yea cause that sounds like a smart idea” Mandy replied.  
“Shut up bitch” he looked over at him “ what do you say Gallagher?”  
He felt bad he knew he should say no and just leave with Mandy but he didn't want to say no and deal with it later. He didn't know if it was something he would get in trouble for or not. Fuck he hated that he was debating this for that reason. The more he thought about it shooting guns sounded kinda fun. He loved his rifle in ROTC and he was a pretty good shot. He looked over at Mandy and gave her a half smile.  
“We can always go to the mall another time Mands”  
She ran her finger through her hair “Whatever assholes, let's fucking go then”  
“Let me grab my shit, hold on” Mickey replied. He returned with a black duffel bag.  
“Good choice Gallagher” he smirked and they left the house.  
Fuck the kid looked good. He was walking ahead of him with his sister. He was fine walking behind them, following Ian's little swagger with his eyes. He found himself entranced by the boys ass as he waked. All he could think about as they climbed the stairs were how his jeans wrapped perfectly around him and how much he wanted to yank them off and caress what was underneath. Stupid Mandy.  
They reached the top floor, the room was falling apart in places, glass and cigarette buts scattered the floor. He sat down his bag and walked over to the window picking up the cans that were laying on the ground and placing them on by one in the landing.  
He looked over to his sister “you brought weed right?” he had joints in his bad but he was saving the good shit for later.  
“Yes” she replied annoyed.  
“Light that shit up then” he said reaching down for his bag. He pulled out his gun and loaded the clip all the while feeling eyes staring at him.  
“The fuck are you looking at Gallagher?” he says as he cocks his gun.  
“Nothing” Ian replies and sits down next to Mandy.  
He stepped away from the window and shot the gun. The shots echoed through the room along with the sound of aluminum taring as the cans flew off the landing. He looked over at the boy sitting on the floor smoking a joint. Let's see if the kids all talk or if he can actually shoot.  
"ay Gallagher you wanna try? Don't fucking shoot me or I'll kick your ass" he watched as Ian stood up from the ground wiping his palms on his jeans. He grabs the gun from his hand and for a moment he thinks this maybe a bad idea.  
He steps back next to his sister and watches. To his surprise the kid is a perfect shot knocking the remaining cans out of the window. The way he looks standing there arms out holding the gun, the kick back not knocking him off his feet, his aim steady. Fuck me, it was too much. He had found the kid sexy before but watching him with a gun is his hand. He knew he shot in ROTC but he didn't know he was that good. He wondered what else he didn't know about his sexy redhead. Ian walked over with a smug look on his face and handed him the gun, more like dropped it in his hands like he was a diva. He watched the boy take his place next to his sister. He set the cans up again and resumed shooting. They had been switching off every couple rounds for a few hours when he heard Mandy sigh.  
“Seriously guys this is so fucking boring, can we do something else?"  
Mickey turned to look at his sister "Nobody's keeping you here bitch, go the fuck home if you want to" he replied then looked over at Ian "You gonna bitch out too Gallagher?"  
So far it seemed like the kid was actually having fun so he was happy to hear him say he was gonna stay.  
"You guys suck "Mandy replied pouting her lip and flipping off her brother. "Call me later fuckhead" she says to Ian then heads down the stairs. 

"Damn red, who knew you were such a good shot"  
“Who knew Mandy wouldn't like guns growing up with your family”  
Micky couldn't help but smile, it was kind of ironic. He owned around 4 guns not to mention his dad had a whole cabinet full.  
“yea you should see her when we go on runs together, bitch doesn't know what to do"  
Ian looks at him curiously “ a run like jogging?”  
Mickey bunches up his face and pinches his nose “What? No. Not like jogging Jesus. Like when we shake down a place or whatever..”  
“Ah... shakedown right” Ian replies and looks away.  
“Aren't you supposed to be South Side Gallagher. Fuck me” he shakes his head and goes to sit down on the ground. He reaches into his bag and pulls out a bottle of jack and another joint "sit down Red and smoke this shit with me. I'm out of fucking bullets, should of brought more"  
Ian plops down next to him “"Born and raise South Side fuck you very much. Just cause I don't go on runs or whatever doesn't change the fact." he says defensively.  
Mickey's first thought is to pop him in the mouth, remind him who he's talking to but his passion for being South Side trash was kinda cute so he let it pass.  
"Fucking tough guy now huh?... You're fucking lucky you don't have to deal with that shit man. Dads just fucked up" he takes a hit of the joint and passes it to Ian " been doing this shit since we could walk"  
“That's a long time, why don't you guys just leave?”  
Mickey runs his hand across the concrete floor “can't” he sighs grabbing the bottle and taking a swig “it's not that fucking easy man, he's our dad”  
He looks over at Ian whose green eyes are staring back at him filled with pity, it makes him feel small.  
“Why the fuck we talkin about my shit kid? Like your families not fucked up?”  
“That's funny coming from a Milkovich, but your right my families fucked up too. Mostly Frank" Ian laughs "It's good we got Fiona though without her..." takes another hit  
Mickey laughs cutting the kid off "frank is a pretty big piece of shit How you are related blows my fucking mind"  
It's starting to get dark now, a shadow creeps across the room as the sun goes down. He looks over at Ian who keeps glancing at his phone like he had places to be "You drink or you gonna turn into a fucking pumpkin Cinderella?" he says and passes the bottle to the kid.  
"I drink. South side remember?" Ian grabs the bottle and takes a big swig wiping his mouth with his hand "So what happened with Terry the other night. That shit happen a lot?"  
Mickey rubs his nose. This fucking guy. “You ask too many fucking questions kid you know that?"  
Ian takes another long swig from the bottle. Jesus he wasn't kidding he was knocking them back.  
"Yea I've been told that a few times actually. Has your dad always been like that, you know abusive and stuff ?" He watches as the kid leans comfortably against the walls and looks at him for an answer.  
Seriously? When did this become a tell all about his life? Who does the kid think he is sitting there with his green eyes staring at him all judgy and shit. He turns to Ian and glares" You need to shut the fuck up. Don't act like you know a thing about my dad" he snaps and snatches the bottle from the boys hands.  
The kid looks nervous suddenly, his body tenses as he pulls away. He watches as his eyes start to dart around the room as if realizing he's just been sitting here for an hour talking with him. He looks down at his phone again then shoves it in his pocket.  
“Um sorry I didn't mean to pry” he says slowly standing up from the ground. Mickey can see the dust sticking to his jeans and it reminds him of how nice his ass looks.  
“Sit down kid”  
“You know it's getting late Mickey. I think I'm just gonna go” 

Just like that he thinks he can leave. They have this stupid conversation and smoke some weed and suddenly he thinks he can just go?  
Mickey stands up from the ground “The fuck do you think your going Gallagher?” he says walking up to the boy. He pushes him so that his back is against the wall.  
“Mickey please I didn't mean to be nosy. I just thought...”  
“You just thought what? Thought that since we smoked some weed together and had a few shots that we're best friends or somethin?”  
He reaches under his tank top and runs his hands down his soft sides. The kid pushes him hard and he falter backwards. Ian starts to run for the door when Mickey grabs him by the arm and pins him back up against the wall.  
“You didn't really think we were done here did you Gallagher?” he says planting a kiss on the boys neck and letting one hand slip under his jeans and into his boxers.  
“please stop” Ian says his voice is buzzed and weak.  
“Why would I do that kid hmm? You know you don't really want me to” he said as he grabbed his hard dick.  
“I do” Ian cried reaching down to grab his hands but he smacked them away and shot him a warning look.  
“Your body says you don't though. Your body” he strokes him firmly running his finger over his slit  
“well it says that your a little slut and you want me to fuck you”  
“Shit” the boy breath hitched underneath him as he moved his thumb back and forth over the head of his penis.  
“I think you want me to bend you over and fuck you like the dirty whore you are am I right?” Mickeys says unbuttoning Ian jeans and pulling down his pants , leaving the boy exposed. Ian closed his eyes and moved his hands down to cover himself.  
“Open your fucking eyes” he smacked the boy in the head to get his full attention. He opened his eyes and stared back at him, his eyes were lazy and bloodshot. He was so hard looking at Ian is all his glory standing in front of him. He reached down and grabbed his dick again, massaging it with his fingers.  
“Fuck..fuck off Mickey” Ian managed to say his words becoming jumbled  
“Wow kid, looks like your kind a lightweight”  
He knew that was a lie. the kid was drinking the shit like it was fucking koolaide, he was impressed he was standing right now. It made his task a lot easier.  
“I think you're gonna be a good boy Gallagher” he attempts to lift Ian's shirt above his head  
“don't” he shouts and starts trying to move away again, but he gets closer to his face.  
“don't what?” he taunts and yanks the boys shirt over his head and throws it on the concrete. He pulls his own shirt off and does the same. He looks at Ian's sculpted body and cant help but press his own against his taking in the boys warmth and whispering in his ear “I'm gonna fuck you so good kid. Your gonna beg for it” he can feel the boys heart speed up and the quickening of his breath as he pulls away. He pulls down his jeans and kick them off leaving him in just his boxers. He stares at the boy in front of him and he is ready. He's ready to fuck him good and make him say his name. Fuck he needed it, he craved it.  
He grabs Ian by the shoulder and flips him around roughly so that his face is against the wall. He rest his head on his shoulder for a moment to look into his eyes.  
“You look so sexy red. Can't wait to make you cum for me” he says softly  
He reaches down into his backpack. He came prepared this time. He grabbed out a bottle off lube and squeezed it on his hand rubbing it all over his hard cock. He thought about bringing a condom but he was clean and he was the only one to fuck Ian so he chose not to. He turned his attention back to the boy who was now resting against the wall his body limp and waiting.  
“Ready to say my name kid?” he laughed and rested his hand against wall near Ian's face. He lined himself up and pushed in effortlessly.  
“so fucking good” he sighed as he bottomed out.  
He kissed Ian's back the grabbed his waist pulling him down onto him  
He uses his back for leverage and pulls him down onto his dick, each thrust causing the boy to bite his lip.  
“Look at you trying to hold back. It's fucking cute as hell you think you're in control here” he says and thrusts up into him again.  
“mmm” Ian sighs underneath him.  
“yea you like that, you know it” he says as he fucks into him harder gripping his shoulders tightly.  
“uh yes..fuck” Ian moans as his dick move in and out of his hole  
“mm hmm that's right” Mickey grabs his waist pressing hard enough into his side he was sure he was going to leave marks but he didn't care, the boy was his. He could mark him if he wanted.  
He reaches down and grabs Ian's neglected dick and started stroking it.  
“Huh” Ian moans at the contact.  
He wraps his other hand around his chest pulling him down to match his thrusts  
“yea you're such a good boy Ian. So fucking good. So fucking tight” he says moving his hand up to the boys throat  
“huh.. uh..” Ian cries and he pumps into him, his hand is resting on Ian's throat  
“Be a good boy for me Ian. Don't make me ask you” he says breathing heavily his hand massaging the boys throat as he fuck into him. His hand still gliding over his dick. He was met with silence except for the the boys cries.  
He slaps his ass hard “fucking say it”  
“Mickey” Ian moans and he squeezes his throat, relishing the sound of his name..  
“Yea that's right just like that. That all I want to hear from you” he moves both hands back to ian's waist and pulls his further form the wall to get a better angle than thrust hard into him  
“Fuck uh”  
Mickey smack him in the ass “What did I day Gallagher? That's not what I want to hear”  
He fucks into him again “mmm” coming from closed lips “damn it you little bitch , you were being so good. Say it” he says digging his nails into his side and pounding into his ass  
“fuck Mickey.. Mickey” the boy repeats as he slams into him again and again  
“that's a good boy, just like that”  
“Mickey..uh Mickey fuck”  
“Sounds so good coming from that smart little mouth red” He says feeling the orgasm building. He stroke him faster.  
“Fuck I'm gonna cum” Ian pants as he pushes his hips back against him to meet his thrusts.  
“Oh fuck” Mickey moans the sight of Ian's hips rolling against him throwing him over the edge. He cums inside the boy but continues to run his hand over the boys throbbing cock laying on his back.  
“Cum for me you little slut” he says and kisses his back.  
“fuck Mickey” the boy cries on last time before spilling all over the cement floor.  
He lays on top of him for a moment enjoying the feeling of Ian beneath him  
“Please” Ian says his voice is weak and small and out of breath.  
He realizes he's probably crushing him and pulls out . He walks over to his pants and pulls them on.  
“Damn Gallagher. You really are my bitch aren't you?”  
The boy does not meet his gaze and he silently gets dressed.  
He feels a twinge of sadness and clothes cover Ian's sculpted body, his jacket covering his arms. He wonders what it would feel like to have those arms wrapped around him. Wait what? Maybe. He could see himself fucking the kid everyday, making him say his name, letting him dominate him completely. He just needed to give in, to let him have him. He was so close and he knew it, the thought made him smile. He grabbed his cigarettes out of his pocket and pulled out two. He looked over to find Ian heading down the stairs.  
“ay gallagher, hold the fuck on” he shouts grabbing his back and running to the door.  
“What Mickey. I just wanna go home” he says defeat lingering in his voice.  
“It's late, I'll walk you there” he says. It was the South Side, the kid would be better off if he walked with him.  
“That's really OK” Ian said and walked quickly down the stairs. He followed after him, damn the kid was fast.  
“I love how you think you have a choice kid, but I am walking you home so deal with it” he says and hands him a cigarette.  
Ian looks up at him, he can see the tango of lust, hate and confusion in his eyes and he snatches it from his hands. The boy sticks the smoke between his flushed lips and Mickey pulls his lighter out and lights it for him before lighting his own.  
“Thanks I guess” Ian says after taking a drag.  
“anytime red” Mickey replies as they walk down the dark street.


	12. What The Fuck?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian has a heart to heart with Mandy and it doesn't go as planned. He and Mickey communicate in a new way. One of the boys discovers something new that he doesn't know how to process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yea! Finally an update. Sorry guys this last chapter hit a couple roadblocks for me trying to capture some more emotion but keep the premise of the story. Jessica92 my own personal Mandy you are a #godsend. Literally my muse, again the dialogue was created from actual conversations we had as the characters i'm very proud to say. It was also very fun pretending to be Mickey lol. I hope you guys enjoy. xoxo

“You ever think about running away?” Ian looks at his feet as he gets higher in the air “I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I mean it's easy, like just packing a bag and never looking back you know?” Ian says as he swings up to the sky, the sun blinding his eyes but warming his skin.

  
“Sometimes, but my dad is crazy so I wouldn't get far. Plus I can't leave my brothers especially Mickey. He's always been there for me. He may be an asshole but he has a good heart” Mandy replies

“He does?” Ian says sarcastically as his shoes hit the gravel throwing his swing against Mandy's.

  
“Hey knock it off” the girl yelled playfully as she bounced off the bars. “Why are you talking about running away anyways. You have a family that loves you and a job? Your life's pretty sweet Ian”

  
He feels a bead of sweat running down his forehead and wipes it away with his hoodie. It's too hot for layers. He doesn't know why this morning he decided on a tank top plus a hoodie. It was Memorial Day weekend and it was hot as fuck. He tossed his hoodie on the ground after pulling a smoke out from the pocket. "I'm just over it Mands. I want to be free to do what I want to do, not have to answer to anyone. I'm ready to see what's outside this shithole town you know” he replies lighting the cigarette and tossing the lighter on the ground.

  
“Don't be stupid Ian, finish school and leave the right way. You at least you have a chance at leaving this place.

  
“What do you mean?” he replies taking a drag from his smoke.

  
“Please we both know my only options are getting knocked up or jail” the girl twirls her hair thoughtfully with her fingers, staring down at her shoes as they scrape against ground with each push of the swing.

  
“Can you not talk about yourself like that?” he says and grabs the chain of her swing, slowing them both down until they are just rocking slowly with their legs.  
She smiles and reaches over to grab his cigarette but stops suddenly grabbing his wrist instead,  
“Ian what the fuck is that?” she says and holds up his hand

  
“What?” he replies and looks down. He sees the dark oval shaped bruise fading away on his wrist and quickly remembers why he decided to wear layers today. He stared at the ground and all he could picture was Mickey holding his hands behind his back as he bent him against the wall and had his way. It was a common thing now, he still put up some fight but really he just wanted it to be over with. He hated how the feeling of Mickey inside him made him both sick to his stomach and curled his toes. The whole situation was just fucked up and he just wanted to get far away from it.

  
“Ian?” Mandy lifted up his face and stared at him with concern. Her hand was soft and comforting. “Did your boyfriend do this?” she grabbed his other wrist and held them together forcing him to look.

  
“It was an accident Mandy don't worry about it” he replies. It's partly true, he's sure Mickey wasn't aware he would be leaving such obvious marks for the simple reason people would ask questions, just like what was happening now.

  
“Ian this is not ok. Why are you still with this guy?”

  
“I'm not....we're not..” he sighs and takes a drag of his cigarette “Mandy it's complicated ok”

  
“Yea it's complicated you keep saying that. Then you show up randomly at my house in tears. Why won't you talk to me Ian?” her eyes are fixed with his “Is it someone I know? Is that why you won't tell me”

  
He looks away at the ground quickly shifting his feet but not saying anything.

  
“It is isn't it? Well guess what I think I have the perfect solution for you. I thought it wouldn't work before but now I think it will be fine.”

  
“What are you talking about?” he sighs irritated at the girls persistence.

  
“Mickey. I think you guys are close enough that if we tell him what's going on he can take care of this guy for you. I mean my brother is kinda a badass”  
He just stares at her blankly and listens as she continues to talk up her brother.“If anyone can take care of this guy it's Mickey. He may be small but that guy can get pretty scary if you mess with family.”

  
“I'm not your family” he says flatly.

  
“Come on Ian we've been friends for almost 6 months now, and you've been working with Mickey for longer. I'm pretty sure you can trust him. He's really not a bad guy, you just have to get to know him. I thought you would have seen that by now” she replies and plucks the smoke out of his hand.  
“I'll talk to him when I get home, he'll be happy to help, trust me”

  
He can't take it anymore, all the feelings bubbling up inside him have reached their boiling point. He starts laughing, he can't control it. He feels like he is spinning out of control as Mandy sits there staring back at him. He can feel the sting of tears in his eyes and all at once the laughter turns into tears.

  
“Oh my god Ian. Are you ok? Talk to me please” she reaches out to touch his shoulder causing him to flinch.

  
“Just leave me alone Mandy! You and you brother can just fuck off ok” he cries and jumps off the swing. He grabs his hoodie and runs down the park path to the street.

*************************************************************

He storms into his house, slamming the door hard behind him.  
"Whoa dude. You alright" Lip calls out as he runs upstairs. He ignores him, he wants to left alone. He kicks off his shoes and plops down on his bed staring at the ceiling. He has too be at work in a few hours and the thought makes him want to crawl under the covers and never come out. He tries to quiet his mind as he takes in several deep breaths to slow down his breathing. He hears the creak of the door as it opens and the smell of a cigarette.  
“Hey man. You looked a little upset. Anything you wanna tell me?” Lip asks and sits down at the foot of his bed.  
“Go away” he replies and curls up his feet turning to face the wall.  
“Come on Ian, it obvious you're upset bout somethin man. What going on in there?” his brother taps him lightly on the head.  
“Jesus christ can you just leave me the fuck alone!” he snaps and slaps his hand away. He immediately feels bad when he sees the look of shock and disappointment on his brother's face but was he really asking for too much? He just wanted to be left alone, no one ever left him alone. Everyone always wanted something from him. He turned back to the wall and was relieved when the room went dark and the door was closed shut. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and set an alarm to wake up at 330. Mickey could go fuck himself. He needed to sleep, he didn't care if he was late. He didn't care about anything anymore. He started to close his eyes when he felt his phone buzz against his pillow. It was probably Mandy. He had royally fucked that up. Hopefully she would understand. He was ready to apologize, it's not like she knew her knight in shining armor was the villain in his story and he was never going to tell her because it was all she had. Who was he too take that from her? He looked at his phone and saw a message from a random number. He opened the message.

 **(1:30) 555-555-555 : u doing ok kid?**  
He reads the message again, it was probably a wrong number.

 **(1:32) Ian: Who wants to knw?**  
He closes his eyes again willing sleep to come when his phone buzzes again. Whoever this was they were pissing him off quick.

 **(1:33) 555-555-5555: well Red since i just asked u the fucking ? u can assume it's me**  
What the fuck? How the hell does he have his number? Mandy probably gave it to him. He should tell him to fuck off. What if it's not him though, then he would seem like a dick, and if it was well fuck. This was turning into more of an ordeal than he had the will to deal with but he decided to ask anyways.

**(1:34) Ian: Mickey?**

**(1:36) 555-555-5555: That's my name. u gonna answer my ? Mandys freaking out over here saying ur gonna run away and shit. The hell's wrong with u?**  
Fucking Asshole. He immediately saved the number to his phone so he wouldn't be blindsided again. Was everywhere else not enough, now he felt the need to text him too?  
**(1:40) Ian: It's none of ur business what I do. How the hell did u even get my # ?**

 **(1:55) Asshole :u work for me remember, i have all ur information**  
How could he forget, he was constantly being reminded of his place and who was the boss. He set his phone down and decided he was done with the conversation, however it seemed like Asshole had more to say when his phone buzzed again.  
**(1:58) Asshole: Running away huh? That the kind leadership u planning on bringing to the army? Didn't know they took HS dropouts**  
How did he know about the army? Oh that's right, back when he was stupid enough to think Mickey was cool he told him about Westpointe. Well fuck him, he could figure it out on his own. Nothing was going to stop him. Well Westpointe did seem further away now with his recent grades but the Army, he could still enlist. Why is he even texting him right now?  
**(2:00) Ian: Why do u care so much? I can get my GED. I can get that anywhere as long as it's far from here.**  
Far away from you, you stupid fuck.  
**(2:05) Asshole: Didn't picture u as the quitting type Gallagher, kind of a bitch move if u ask me.**  
A bitch move? What does he fucking know? He only pretended to be his friend for Mandy. He didn't care about anyone but himself.  
**(2:07) Ian: Fuck off Mickey. u don't know anything about me.**  
He wanted to take back the message, not knowing if he went too far. He knew if they were together right now he would have been smacked or choked or whatever sick fucking thing Mickey wanted to do to keep him in his place. He still had to go to work later and he was not in the mood for any extra bullshit. Fuck.  
**(2:10) Asshole: I know that u care about ur family enough to do ANYTHING for them. Seems like a waste just to leave them behind now, dnt u think?**  
Wow. He was expecting him to say something about his attitude but he didn't. It doesn't matter he still doesn't care, and he would know wouldn't he. He used his job as leverage, held it over his head like it was a freaking bone.  
**(2:13) Ian: Ur right I would. But when is it enough? When do I get to do what I want.**

 **(2:15) Asshole: u sound like a whiny bitch man.**  
Ian scoffed and thought about throwing his phone but then he would have to get up and get it. Fucking prick. Any excuse to talk shit, he rubbed his head in frustration as he stared at the screen.

 **(2:20) Asshole: what do u want or whatever anyway?**  
Are you fucking kidding me right now? That was a loaded question. How the hell did he not know the answer. His life was great before he met Mickey. Sure he didn't have a job but he wasn't a fucking slave. He wasn't being used constantly to the point he felt like running away. He almost didn't reply but figured fuck it, not like it would make a difference now anyway. He could already see this ending badly so why should he care anymore. At least through the phone he didn't have to worry right away. Fucking asshole. He never thought the day would come when he would watch what he said, he was a Gallagher fucking South Side, but somehow, somewhere down the line he learned to edit himself around Mickey. To watch not only what he said but his attitude, it was like he wasn't even him anymore. He just wanted to be him again. He thought about it then typed the words.  
**(2:21) Ian: I want to be free**

 **(2:25) Asshole: wishful thinking . How about u grow the fuck up. Not everybody gets to do whatever they fucking feel like. It's life kid, deal with it.**  
Why was he expecting anything less? This was just another way Mickey had found to get into his head. He would pretend like he cared for even a split second and like a fool he would jump on it just to reminded of what he knew all along. He was trapped. Fuck it, he's the one that texted him, if he got mad later, he would deal with it but for now he was at home in his bed and Mickey was just a text message on his phone.

**(2:27) Ian: u do whatever the fuck you want. Again why do YOU care?? It's not like u give a shit about me.**

( **2:35) Asshole: ur right, I don't fucking care about u. I care about what's mine tho and u're fucking MINE, so knock off this whiny pussy bullshit.**  
He wondered if Mickey ever listened to himself talk. If he heard the bullshit that came out of his own mouth. He belonged to no one and he never would. Deep down he still questioned that. So much time had gone by with Mickey between work at Mandy's house he had no escape. He was pretty sure if Mickey was there and he said jump....he might say how high. Fuck what was wrong with him? When did he become this person, this pathetic good boy as Mickey called him. He was losing himself more and more and it needed to stop before he was gone.  
**(2:36) Ian: Exactly I don't want to BE urs! Fuck why can't u just leave me alone. Find someone else to screw over. u wonder why I want to run away. Did u ever think it's because of u?**  
Fuck. He had to know that. I mean how could he not. He wasn't so delusional to think that he was happy with whatever the fuck they were doing.

 **(2:50) Asshole: What u don't like it when I call u my bitch? when I bend u over and treat u like the whore u are until u cum saying my name? Grow up Gallagher. ppl got real problems in this world kid, all u gotta do is keep ur mouth shut and be a good boy.**  
He re read the message and felt his pants tighten. Fuck no! He threw his phone across the room disgusted at himself and his body. He tried his best to ignore the feeling between his legs as he closed his eyes. This had gone to far. How could a text message do that to him. That was the ultimate slap in the face, the fucking guy wasn't even there yet he found another way to make him feel like piece of trash, to feel violated by his own body. A tear escaped his eye and he brushed it away and hugged his pillow, counting down the moments before his alarm went off.

 

He heard the beep beep of his alarm and wanted to smash his phone with a hammer. Not only did he not sleep but now his mind was spinning in circles from that fucking conversation. The whole thing made him sick to his stomach. Mickey had his number all this time but this was the first time he had texted him. It made him uncomfortable. Now not only did he have to deal with him at work or at Mandy's but now he could harass him whenever he wanted. Enough was enough. What did he have to lose at this point? No job was worth being treated this way. For god sakes he was questioning his own sanity. The more he hung out with Mickey and saw his other side the the more he hated the guy. How could he be this sweet, troubled person one minute than make him hate himself the next. That's how he felt now, he hated himself. He hated that he took 15 extra minutes before he left to get dressed, to make sure he looked nice but in the end just threw on the first thing in the hamper. Who was he trying to impress anyways? He didn't care if Mickey found him attractive did he? I mean the guy obviously did because he had been forcing him into this twisted ass relationship for months now. No not a relationship that would imply feelings and he had no feelings for that asshole. He may have thought once or twice that he felt sorry for him but that didn't mean that he cared. He didn't know anything anymore, it was all too much and it just needed to end. He didn't care about the consequences anymore because anything was better than this. This battle he was having with himself felt like it was killing him slowly and he couldn't do it anymore. He was going to quit, then maybe he would just have Mandy over to his house just cut out Mickey entirely. Yep that is what he was going to do.

******************************************************************************

 

Ian walked into the store and right up to the counter where he was reading a magazine.  
“I quit” he said firmly slapping the counter for effect.  
Mickey looked up from his reading and raised his brow “I'm sorry what?”  
“I said I FUCKING QUIT!” the boy snapped and stared him straight the eyes.  
Wow kid had some balls. Had he lost his fucking mind? First the running away shit with Mandy, then he gave him attitude over the phone and now this. Where was all this even coming from? He was doing so good, sure he was still reluctant but he always gave in and behaved. He was not expecting this. I mean it was kinda stupid. Didn't he know it was about more than the job at this point? They had been playing this game for months now.  
He sets his magazine down and stands up to lock the door and flip the sign. He plops back down in his chair and rolls it out to the front of the counter. He folds his arms and look up at Ian who looks slightly confused.  
“Do you really think that's going to make a difference Red? Quitting?”  
Ian look down at him and balls his fists “I can't do this anymore Mickey. I don't want to do this. I quit ok. It's done”  
Mickey scoffs and licks his lips “Maybe you didn't understand me before. This” he gestures around the store “And this” he gestures between the two of them “are not connected anymore, haven't been for a long time. You're mine now kid. I don't care if you fucking work here or not it doesn't change that fact.”  
Ian looks at him his eyes dark and sad “I'm not fucking yours. I'm not a piece of property” the boy says his voice breaking.  
He reached out from the chair and pulls the boy close to him, so that his eyes are lined with his waist. He looks up at Ian and smiles.  
“But you are” he says and he starts to undo Ian's jeans.  
“Mickey stop” he says trying to back away but he wraps both hand securely around his waist, holding his arms behind him.  
“Let go!” Ian yells struggling.  
“You know how this works kid, we can do this the easy way” he squeezes his wrists tightly “or the hard way, either way we're doing this” he replies and looks up at the boy. Ian just turns his head and he can feel his body relax.  
“That's a good boy” Mickey replies and reaches inside the boy's pants. He's not hard and that irritates him slightly, he gotten used to Ian being ready for him usually hard as a rock, what was so different now? Whatever he didn't care. He was going to make the kid cum so hard, it didn't matter if he was hard now. He had only given Ian a blow job once before, upstairs in the apartment, it had been months since that night and he was eager to see the boy unravel from his touch. Without wasting anymore time he wrapped his mouth around the boys penis. He moved his tongue in a circular motion around the head and felt satisfied when the boys cock stiffened in his mouth. He removed his hand from the boys waist and used it to stroke him as his lips moved up and down his shaft.  
“Fuck” Ian moaned as he pulled off and licked up the base sucking on the tip.  
“Mmm" the kids eyes were squeezed shut but his hand was moving closer and closer to his head the more he took him into his mouth. He tasted so good in his mouth. His cock was thick and salty from the precum. He felt Ian's hand cautiously rest on his head and he thought he could do this forever. What? No. This was not about making Ian feel good, no, this was about control. He thinks he can just up and leave? Fucking bullshit. He can't leave him, not when he makes him feel so good. He needed him, he was his, he had to stay.  
He pulled off Ian's dick and smacked his ass causing the boy's eyes to spring open. He wanted him to scream his name, he thinks he can do whatever he wants. This will show him, he controlled him. He was his. He knew he could make him cum harder than any of the fucking bitches he's been with before. He knew his body from head to toe. He would make him come undone and that would show him who was boss.  
“Hey fuck my face” he says  
Ian looks down at him in complete shock, like he wasn't speaking fucking english.  
“What?”  
Mickey shakes his head, does he really have to explain this.  
“Grab my head, pound my face” he says looking up at the kid.  
He looks hesitant, like he doesn't know what to do.  
“Today” He snaps and Ian reaches down and grabs his head as he wraps his mouth around him. The boy rocks his hips slowly and it's starting to piss him off. How was he supposed to get him off like this. He grabs him tightly by the waist again his fingers pressing firmly into his sides and pulls his hips into him. He can feel Ian's dick hitting the back of his throat as he lets it relax.  
“Fuck” Ian sighs above him. He swirls his tongue and pulls him in closer, soon he feels his head being pressed down and Ian's hips are moving on his own. The boy thrust into his mouth over and over again.  
“Uh..yes.fuck” He moans above him as he moves his head up and down on his dick. He digs his nails into the boy's side trying not to choke and breathe. He had not done this in a long time, but he was determined to finish it. Ian was gone now. The boy was chasing his orgasm and he could feel his fingers curl around his hair.  
“Fuck Mickey..Fuck” Ian moans and he feels the hot stream of cum sliding down the back of his throat. He sucks Ian clean and goes to pull his head up but heavy hands are still resting on his head. He doesn't like this anymore and digs his nail into Ian's side, not blinded by the thrill of sex he knows it will get his attention.  
“Ow" he says and steps back.  
He watches as Ian zips up his pants, his breath still labored. He stands up from the chair to give him a kiss but is stopped by Ians hand.  
“Just..just let me get to work Mickey” Ian replies softly. Suddenly a stream of tears fall down his face, he uses his shirt to wipe them away but now his eyes are red and puffy. The hell? Who cries after sex? He came he should be happy, or at least satisfied..the fuck?  
“The fuck are you crying for kid? You know you just came like 2 minutes ago right?” he says sarcastically.  
Ian looks up at him and him, tears still sliding down his cheek.  
“It's nothing. Just leave me alone please” he says, his voice is timid and weak and Mickey can feel the sadness coming from him.  
“Uh yea. Ok get to work then” he says and moves his chair back behind the counter. He watches as Ian walks to the back room and starts to rotate the cooler. It still bugged him why the kid was crying? They had been doing this for almost 6 months now but the last couple months had been the best. Ian would give in quickly, he would says his name without being prompted and would do pretty much whatever he wanted. It was pretty much perfect, until now. For some reason Ian was taking a step backwards, talking about leaving him, telling him to fuck off, and threatening to quit. Why the sudden change?  
Mickey spent the rest of his shift watching Ian flutter around the store. He had to admit when allowed to the kid was a hard fucking worker. He rang up people and watched as Ian rotated all the coolers, restocked the fruits and vegetables and now he was organizing the aisles. Finally it was time to close up. He watched as Ian put away the mop and grabbed his backpack from behind the counter.  
“You uh going to see Mandy?” he looks at Ian as he grabs his car keys.  
“Yea"  
“Just ride with me. No reason to waste money on the train” he replies.  
Ian sighs and looks over at him “Do I have a choice?”  
Mickey laughs. The kid was fucking adorable. “Nah man, you really don't” he replies and opens the door.  
“Whatever" Ian replies and swings his backpack over his shoulder. They walk over to his car and drive to see his sister.

***********************************************************************************

 

They had been playing video games for the last few hours. He was so buzzed. He had already had 4 beers and was ready to smoke some fucking weed. Mickey had ordered pizza. The shock came when he asked him what he wanted. Where did the guy draw the line? He should feel lucky he wasn't trying to control what he ate, that would just be too fucking weird. He told him hawaiian. He fucking loved pineapple pizza, it was sweet and salty and wonderful.

When the pizza came Mickey made his plate and handed it to him.  
“Thanks” he said quietly.  
“You're welcome Red” Mickey replied and smiled at him. He sat down on the couch with his pizza next to Mandy.  
“Eww you got pineapple?” she bunches up her nose and shakes her head.  
“Shut up bitch, have you even tried it?” Mickey says plopping down on the couch next to him and handing him another beer.  
“No” she replies taking a bite of her pepperoni pizza.  
“Then keep you mouth shut” Mickey replies as he lights up a joint and grabs the controller. Ian sits there and quietly eats his pizza watching Mandy and Mickey play COD. They pass the joint between them and he finds himself sinking into the couch enjoying his high. He drowning out the playful conversation and sipping his beer until Mickey nudges him in the side."I told you she fucking cheats man, look at this bitch."  
Ian looks over at Mandy who is shaking her head.  
"Mandy wouldn't do that. She is too sweet and innocent" he replies earning a smirk from his best friend.  
Mickey laughs and takes a sip of his beer "Kid you don't know my sister until you've fought my sister. Trust me she's anything but sweet and innocent"  
He laughs at the thought of Mandy beating up Mickey. The girl looked like she could hold her own, but with a dad like hers she probably had to at some point.  
"Wait Mickey are you telling me in a fight your sister, a girl can beat you?"  
Mickey looks over at him and he can see a glint of anger in his eyes but he smiles "No IAN what i'm saying is she fucking cheats at video games" Mickey takes a drag of the joint and passes it to him.  
"Whatever you say man.” he replies finding the guys frustration very amusing  
He takes a hit of the joint and passes it to Mandy. “You gonna defend yourself here?"  
Mandy laughs and puts down the controller grabbing the joint from his hand "The one thing I know about this asshole Ian is once he has an idea in his head he never gives up" she looks over at her brother and flips him off, getting up from the couch and walking to the bathroom.  
It's just the two of them now and he doesn't like it. It's weird and quiet. Mickey is eating his pizza playing the video game. Fuck he's drunk and he can't stand the silence.  
"Uh thanks for the pizza Mick. You didn't have to."  
"Anytime kid. I like to take care of my things."  
"Your things? And you think that includes me?" he looks over at Mickey, the alcohol loosening his lips. The guy smiles and gets up from the couch, walking into the kitchen. He scratches his head anxiously waiting for him to sit back down. He doesn't wait long before Mickey returns. He's holding two shot glasses and a bottle of Cuervo. Ian looks up at him, hes already buzzed.  
"I know it does Gallagher. The sooner you learn that the better" he replies taking the cap off the bottle and pouring two shots.  
Ian laughs at the dudes arrogance. "Well Mick I don't know if you noticed but it's illegal to own people these days"  
Mickey rolls his eyes and hands him his shot. "You think your real fucking cute don't you kid?"  
He laughs and slams his shot, feeling the burn sliding down his throat. He's feeling good now, perfectly tipsy. He looks over at Mickey with a goofy grin "Oh I know I'm cute. My looks are one of my biggest assets"  
"Shut the fuck up and take another shot" Mickey replies as he lines up the shot glasses again, Ian can see the smirk on his face as he pours his shot.  
"Wow you're really into telling me what to do. Better watch out people might think you're insecure"  
"Watch yourself" Mickey says and takes his shot slamming the glass down on the table. "Liking what I like don't make me a bitch" he stares at him for a moment then suddenly his back is pressed down on the couch and Mickey's lips are on his as he lays on top of him. His tongue taste like tequila and cigarettes. He doesn't think, all he can feel are warm hands holding his face and the tongue circling in his mouth. The room is spinning and he feels hair slipping between his fingers as he falls deeper into the kiss. Tongues are dancing around each other and there are lips on his neck, then back on his mouth. His hand moves slowly down Mickey's back landing on his ass. Suddenly the bathroom door opens.  
“Did you put him in his place Ian?” Mandy calls out as she walks into the kitchen, opening the fridge.  
Mickey moves faster that humanly possible up off of him and grabs the controller from the table. He's still on his back trying to process what just happened. Did he just makeout with Mickey? Like for real? What the hell is wrong with him. He needs to leave. He feels nauseous. He grabs his phone off the table to check the time but he misses and spills Mandy's beer on his lap.  
“Fuck” Ian cries and stands up the beer staining his shirt and pooling on the couch.  
“Seriously Ian what the fuck?” Mickey snaps and jumps up from the couch causing him to flinch. He feels his stomach lurch. He's definitely going to be sick now. The smell of beer and the taste of Mickey's lips on his are overpowering. He moves his hand to his mouth to try and swallow the urge. Mandy glares at Mickey then looks over at him concerned “It's ok Ian. Why don't you go take a shower and cleaned up. I've got this.”  
He shakes his head and heads to the back bathroom.  
“Ian” Mandy calls out. “He probably has a shirt for you if you wanna change, right Mickey?”  
“Yea whatever”  
“Um ...ok Mandy thanks. ...Sorry about the couch..i think..i think i'm gonna be sick” he says feeling his stomach flutter again  
“Ok go, it's not a big deal really. Go.”  
He runs into the bathroom and shuts the door before sinking to the floor and emptying the contents of his stomach. Fuck. He rest his head on the cold porcelain before getting the strength to stand. He was not even keeping track, he wanted to get drunk, to get away but now he was regretting that decision. He flushed the toilet then went to wash his hands and rinse his mouth. He couldn't look at himself in the mirror, it just made him mad. He saw his reflection but it felt like it was taunting him with who he used to be. He threw his beer stained shirt on the floor and kicked off his pants. The water was warm and inviting as his head spun. He wanted to wash away the beer, Mickey..everything. Despite the way the water felt he was drunk, there was no way he could stand on his own for much longer but for now he would enjoy it.

***********************************************************************************

 

He can't stop thinking about that kiss. Why? Why did he care? It was the first time Ian was really into it, who knows what could have happened if his bitch sister wasn't there. He could feel the kid getting closer to him with everyday. Sure he would deny it, the way he acted when he as inside of him was a dead give away. He was surrendering himself to him and soon he would truly be his. He adjusted his pants as he thought about Ian in the shower. The water running down his pale skin, his hands brushing the wet hair from his eyes. Fuck. He needed Mandy to leave, he really needed to fuck right now, that kiss just fueled him and now he needed to finish what they started. Fuck it, she knew how to mind her own business.  
“Kid looked pretty fucked up” he says lighting up another joint.  
“Yea he did. I hope he doesn't puke in the shower” Mandy laughs and grabs the bottle of jose from the table taking a long swig. “Fuck that's good” she wipes her mouth her hand  
“Gimme that. Don't go drinking all my shit” he replies and puts the cap back on.  
“What suddenly beers not good enough for you?” she laughs and sinks back into the couch.  
“Fuck off” He smiles and passes the joint to her.  
They sit there and talk shit to each other until he hears the sound of the shower stop.  
“It's getting late, you think maybe time to call it a night?' He looks over at his sister who is clearly high as a kite and a little tipsy.  
“Gotta make sure Ian..”  
“Don't worry about that Mandy I'll take care of him”  
“What? You sure Mickey?”  
He rolls his eyes and stands up to help his sister to her feet. “Yes i'm fucking sure. Go get some fucking sleep or you're gonna hate yourself tomorrow”  
He helps her to her bed and closes the door. He walks into the living room and locks the front door. His dad is out of town with his brothers on a run so he didn't have to worry about anyone else coming home. He walks into his bedroom and sees the bathroom door is still closed. Good that gives him time. He pulls off his shirt and undoes his jeans kicking them into the pile on his floor. He stands in front of the door eagerly waiting for it to open. He only has to wait another minute before Ian opens the door in just his boxer and almost walks into him.  
“Mickey?” he says and nearly falls over.  
He grabs him and steadies him on his feet. “You ok there kid, looks like you're pretty fucking drunk”  
“Fuck you” Ian says and tries to push past him.  
“Actually I was thinking I would fuck you” he replies reaches down picking the boy up by his legs. If he walked he would surely fall on his ass. He tosses him on the bed and climbs ontop of him.  
“Mickey no...Let me.” Ian mumbles incoherently.  
“Shh. You don't want to wake up Mandy do you?”  
“No” Ian replies quietly.  
“Good boy” he says and leans down to kiss him. Ian turns his head and he kisses his cheek instead.  
He moves his hand quickly to his face causing the boy to flinch.  
“Relax red. I'm gonna make you feel good” he whispers in his ear and kisses his neck.  
“No Mickey!” Ian shouts loudly trying again to push him off.  
“Shut the fuck up!” he whispers and slaps him in the face. “I told you Mandy is sleeping. You want her to come in here and see you calling my name like a bitch kid?”  
Ian says nothing but looks up at him with wide eyes, bloodshot and scared.  
He reaches down and pulls off Ian's boxers letting his dick bounce onto his chest. He stands up and stares at the sight before him. It was fucking beautiful. Ian laying there naked in his bed about to get fucked. He looked good, like he belonged there. He walks over to his dresser and grabs out a bottle of lube, he pulls off his boxers and walks back to the bed. He crawls between Ian's legs and puts lube on his fingers. He kisses the boys chest and makes his way down to his dick which was fully hard. He stroked it with his free hand and looked up at Ian who was starting at the wall.  
“I love it when you're hard for me. Such a good little slut aren't you” he says. For some reason he is really starting to enjoy having Ian's dick in his mouth. He loves the sense of control, making the boy unravel seeing the pleasure across his face. He places his lips over the tip and sucks gently flicking the slit with his tongue. He can feel Ian's breath hitch underneath him, so he pulls away.  
“You like that?” he says and moves his lubed fingers around the boys hole.  
“Fuck” Ian sighs as he dips his finger into him, the tightness constricting around him.  
“That's right” Mickey coaxes then moves his attention back to the cock in front of him.  
He sucks on it, moving his tongue in circles around the shaft, his pink lips taking in more and more until he could feel the familiar tickle in his throat. He moves his finger back and forth before adding another.  
“Hmm” Ian moans at his touch his finger massaging his prostate and his lips wrapped around his cock. He is so hard right now. He moves his fingers back and forth making sure the boy is ready for him. He can't wait anymore. He pulls his fingers out and his mouth off Ian's dick at the same time eliciting a groan from the redhead.  
“Mmm don't you worry kid, I'm gonna fuck you so good” he whispers in his ear.  
“Don't please..I just wanna"  
“Shh” Mickey says quietly and places his finger on Ian's lips. The boys goes quiet and just stares up at him. He lubes himself and pushes apart Ian's legs and slides between them so that he is looking down at him. His eyes are so green and filled with emotion. He never thought about fucking him this way but now that he was here on his bed laying beneath him couldn't think about anything else. He looks down and watches as his dick pushes its way into the boys hole “So good Gallagher. So tight” he says softly as he bottoms out. He uses his arms to hold himself up as he thrusts into the kid again. He's looking down at his face and although he is silent he can see the kid is enjoying it. He drops his head down to the boys neck and pumps into him hard and fast.  
“uh..huh..hmm” Ian moans quietly.  
“You take it so good” Mickey says as he lifts his head to look at him. Fuck, he was finding those green eyes entrancing, like he could get lost in them. What the fuck? No..he doesn't get lost in anything. He sits up on his knees instead and pulls Ian closer to him as he pounds his ass.  
“Fuck..yes.yes” Ian moans breathlessly as he filled him. This is his favorite part, he loved watching the kid surrender to his desire, the struggle and submission was so fucking sexy.  
“That's right you dirty boy. Mmm Take it” he sighed as Ian licked his lips. Fuck. He needed to be closer. He leaned back down so that he was looking in Ian's eyes again.  
“Yes” he gasped as he thrust into him. Fuck he was so sexy, his eyes rolling, his mouth open as he gasped for air. He needed to kiss that mouth. He leaned his head down and kissed him, running his hand through his hair and pushing himself deeper into his ass.  
'”Mickey” Ian hissed and he kissed his neck.  
“Yea?”  
Ian was holding the sheets and his eyes had squeezed shut. He had made up his mind, this was by far the best way to fuck.  
“Look at me” he panted as he felt himself getting close.  
Ian just shook his head no but he felt hands on his waist pulling him in closer.  
“Look at me!” he says firmly and stops in mid pump. Ian's green eyes open slowly and focus on his own. He begins to move again this time slower, feeling a sense he never felt before as he watches Ian's face change and his fingers dig into his sides. He continues to fuck him slowly and stare into his eyes until it's too much. There's too many things in Ians eyes he needs to look away. What was he doing? Why was this so much different than anytime before. What was the kid doing to him with his hands around his waist and his breathy moans? He should be fucking him hard and fast but he was moving slowly and studying his face instead. Enough. He pulled out.  
“Get on you knees” he said still out of breath.  
Ian looked at him, clearly still drunk and now horny and confused. “Why?” he said quietly catching his breath.  
“Because I fucking said so bitch that's why” he snaps.  
Ian moves slowly and get's on his knees.  
“Good now say my name” Mickey replies as he fucks into him.  
“uh” Ian cries softly.  
He needs to feel control, he doesn't want this soft bullshit. He needed to feel power again.  
'”I said say my fucking name” he says harshly and pulls the boy head up by his hair so he can see his face.  
“Mickey” Ian pants and as he fuck into him.  
“That's right you little whore. Say it again” he lets go of his hair and grabs his waist pulling him onto him.  
“Fuck Mickey..fuck..uh” the boy cries. He loves hearing his name coming from Ian's lips. It's the ultimate high, to know he was able to get him to the point where he called out his name. He reached around and grabbed the kids neglected dick and began stroking it. He leaned on Ian's back as he slammed into him, the boy now rolling his hips against him.  
“You're such a little slut you know that?” he whispers and moves his hands gently over the boys hips watching them match his thrusts.  
“I'm gonna cum” Ian moans  
“What was that?” Mickey says and smack his ass.  
“M..Mickey. I'm gonna cum” Ian cries and spills into his hand  
The feeling of the boy contracting around him sent him over the edge as he came inside Ian filling him up  
“You're fucking mine” he says softly and kisses the boys back before pulling out.  
Ian immediatley collapes to the bed. He pulls on his boxers and goes to wash his hands. He comes out and Ian is still collapsed on the bed staring at the wall. He goes over to his pants and pulls out a cigarette. He's running low so they'll have to share.  
He goes to touch his back and the kids shoots up off the bed nearly falling to the floor because he can barely stand.  
“I need to leave... I have to go home. I can't stay here” he says frantically but sits back down on the bed. He lights up the smoke and passes it to the him. Ian glances over at him and grabs the cigarette before returning his gaze to the floor.  
“I gotta say that is my new favorite positon kid” He says and grabs his smoke back.  
Ian says nothing just sits there. Whatever he doesn't really care. He could deny it until he turns blue doesn't change the fact he came with his name on his lips..again. The thought makes him smile. He goes to touch him again, he could see having one more kiss but the boy recoils.  
“I have to go” he repeats himself.  
Mckey shakes his head and puts out his cigarette. He stands up and walks over to Ian pushing him down on the bed. The kid stares back at him, his eyes are drunk and tired.  
“The only place you're going Gallagher is to bed” he says and touches his face, the kid flinches at his touch and for some reason it bugged him. He just wanted to feel his skin before he had to say goodnight. No way in hell he was sleeping in here with Mandy home. He tried again, this time the kid stilled as he leaned down and kissed him.  
“Be a good boy and get some sleep” he says and shuts the door.  
He walks over to the couch and sits down. Holy fuck. What the hell was that? That was insane. Did he drink too much? Was that not insanely different ? Was he going soft? The fuck is wrong with him. Ian was his plaything, he was his good boy his dirty whore. He was his dirty little secret nothing else. He needed to sleep, he was feeling really fucking weird. He grabbed the bottle of tequila and took along swig before leaning back into the couch. He was in control, that was all that mattered. That had not changed. He was in control and Ian was submitting just like he wanted to. Him and his stupid green eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> looking like feeling are starting to sneak there way into this "relationship". Can't wait to see where it goes. Hope you enjoyed xoxo


	13. He's A Fucking Dead Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian thinks about his night with Mickey. Mickey finds out something that makes him lose his shit. Frank is an asshole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG guys i'm so sorry for the late update. Originally i had combined 2 chapters but it was getting too long so this is the first half. I hope you enjoy. As always thank you jessica92 for being my mandy and helping me put my ideas on the page and being the other side of my dialogue literally lol. You are amazing and i love you xoxo. I hope you guys enjoy  
> ps: totally stole the aliby scene from canon, hey you can't mess with perfection.

Ian woke up the next day lightheaded. He felt like he had been hit by a train, as he rubbed his hand over his pulsating forehead. The events of last night were still playing in his head like a movie in slow motion. He must have been really drunk because he remembered staring into Mickeys eyes but instead of seeing the usual dominance and lust he saw something else, it almost looked like Mickey was studying him. Like he was gazing at him like he was art rather than the dirty whore he so often referred to him as. He didn't even know why he was thinking about it. Moments like these he felt maybe something had changed but then he was being ordered around again and degraded, so what did it matter anyways? It's not like he had feelings for Mickey. That would be wrong. He was a terrible, violent, controlling person....he could not deny though no matter how hard he tried that he was becoming sexually attracted to him. Fuck he hated it. He hated how the man's touch made his body tremble from more than just fear. He hated that the feeling of firm hands holding him down was starting to feel good instead of bad. He hated all of it, but it was out of his control. The only thing he had left to save is sanity was staying away from the guy. Mickey was making this very hard and he knew why. He was watching and waiting, waiting for him to give in to the feelings he was trying so hard to resist. Well he could fucking wait and keep waiting. He would never submit to that asshole. So what if his body reacted to him, he was guy and Mickey was a guy. He was gay, it was biology and nothing else. He wouldn't give that jerk the satisfaction of thinking he himself had anything to do with it. Ian Gallagher was nobody's bitch. He repeated the mantra to himself in hopes that he would start to believe it again. Too be honest he was tired. He was so tired of fighting back, tired of everything, he just wanted to curl up in a ball and disappear.  
“Ughh” he sighed and stood up from the bed, slowly willing the room to stop spinning. He pulled on his clothes and went to the bathroom. He splashed his face several times. The cold water was refreshing on his skin, bringing him slowly out of the leftover haze from the copious amount of alcohol he had consumed.  
He opened the door slowly to see Mickey asleep on the couch. Finally the universe was on his side. He quickly grabbed his things and left out the front door. His plan was to go home, eat something and sleep. Fuck was he hungry, the pizza was no longer in his stomach so he was starving. 

He walked in the front door of his house to to see his sister and Frank fighting. He sat his back pack down on the table and hung up his hoodie.  
“You need to leave now” fiona shouted.  
“This is my house!”  
Not again, he couldn't count how many times they had kicked Frank out only to have him sneak his way back in. He looked over at the man who was clearly drunk, he could tell from the way he was standing that he wasn't planning on going anywhere.  
“Come on Frank it's time for you to go” he replied stepping closer to the man.  
“Oh so you're in on it too? I should have known you traitor” Frank replies harshly his breath is fragrant with the smell of whisky.  
“Ian go upstairs I got it ok” his sister looks over at him and gestures to the stairs.  
That's it. He was already being told what to do everywhere else. He was not about to lose the one place he felt like himself. He was not going to back down in his own fucking house.  
“No Fiona. He needs to leave” he says firmly and turns to look at Frank.  
“I'm not going anywhere and you can't make me.” the man yells crosses his arms defiantly.  
Ian shook his head in frustration. He was not in the mood for this shit  
“You need to get the hell out Frank now” he said stepping up to his surrogate father looking him square in the eye.  
Frank tilted his head and pushed him backwards “You can't talk to me like that boy, I'm your father. You wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for me”  
Ian laughed because everyone knew Frank was not his dad. His mother was high on pcp and slept with his brother Clayton thus he was born. He could feel the fire building up, so much pent up anger. He pushed Frank back.  
“We both know I'm not your kid asshole so stop pretending. I don't owe you shit, if anything I owe your brother and my junkie mother...” he didn't have a chance to finish his sentence before he was knocked back by a fist to his face.  
“Don't you talk about your mother that way” Frank yelled.  
“Ian” Fiona screamed and ran over to him. His ears were ringing and his jaw was sore, his mouth tasted like pennies.  
“Get out Frank NOW!” he heard his brother's voice boom from behind him. He turned to see Lip and his little brother and sister standing in the stairwell. Lip had a look a pure hatred in his eyes. He watched as his brother walked over to his father and grabbed him by the shirt pushing him to the door. He rest his aching head against the wall and watched as his family forced Frank out of the house.  
“Bunch of ingrates” was the last thing he heard before lip slammed the door.  
Fiona walked over to the freezer and pulled out a baggie of hamburger.  
“Here hold this on your face. I'm gonna go get some Ibuprofen from Vee for the swelling ” she said softly petting his hair and kissing his forehead. She grabbed her phone and walked out the front door.  
Lip stared at him thoughtfully. The last time he spoke with him was yesterday before work and he was not very nice.  
“Hey, i'm sorry about..”  
“Don't worry about it man. You're a teenager, it's your job to be moody” lip laughed and lit up a cigarette. His brother walked over and poured himself a cup of coffee. The kids were in the living room now watching tv. Lip sat down at the table and motioned for him to join him. Ian winced in pain when he moved his head but walked over and sat down.  
“So I haven't seen you at school..” he could see the look of concern in his brothers eyes. How was he supposed to tell him he'd been ditching school because he couldn't focus? Instead he was going to his friends house and getting high. He looked up at lip and figured fuck it. Out of everyone he could tell him.  
“I haven't really been going. I...I got a lot on my mind you know I can't really think when i'm there”  
Lip nodded his head and took a drag of his smoke.  
“This the same thing that has you walkin around here like a girl on her period?”  
He couldn't help but laugh. He punched his brother playfully in the shoulder “I'm not a fucking girl and yea..it's the same thing”  
His brother passed him the cigarettes and he took a drag  
“You ever gonna tell me what it is?”  
He shook his head and looked at his brother, the same line playing of his lips “I can't it's too complicated”  
Suddenly his brothers hand was on his shoulder, but the sudden movement still caused him to flinch.  
“Whoa there, it's just me. You can talk to me. When have I let you down?”  
He knew he couldn't tell his brother. He could tell if it was anyone other than Mickey Milkovich. Mickey was so deep in the closet you needed a microscope, if he found out he had told anyone well he might as well just tell Lip they would be buried together.  
“I know that. I do. This is just ..”  
“If you wont tell me then at least let me guess”  
Ian smiled at his brother persistence. “fine guess”  
“Alright” Lip replied and cracked his knuckles ready to play guess what's wrong with Ian. His brother stared at him for a moment then spoke  
“Is it Monica?”  
Ian looked at his brother blankly not knowing how to respond to his words “What? Why would that even be an option?” he said finally.  
“I don't know. Whenever something fucked up happens it usually because of Frank or Monica”  
He had a point. Those two had a way of lighting a fire to anything they touched, and leaving them to clean up the destruction.  
“no. It's not Monica”  
“is it drugs? You smokin meth or somethin?”  
Ian shook his head and laughed. He didn't know why he was afraid. His brother had some really off the wall ideas.  
“Fuck no man, I mean seriously..meth??”  
“I don't know asshole, you're all moody now so it crossed my mind, i'm guessing here”  
“well you can stop dude, i'm gonna go take a shower and lie down” he started to get up from the table  
“Ah cmon man one more. I think I got it this time” Lip smiled at him and grabbed his arm  
“fine. Don't know why you're obsessed with this. I wish you would just drop it” he huffed and sat down in his seat looking expectantly at his older brother.  
“ I saved the best one for last. The one that made the most sense”  
“go on then”  
"It's a guy isn't it? Some guy's got you all messed up, so you're ditching and acting like a baby"  
Fucking asshole! He knew all along he was just playing with him.What was he supposed to say now? From here it was really just process of elimination before he found out who. He decided to ignore him, to pretend he never agreed to the conversation, that he never guessed the answer correctly.  
“I really wanna go lie down” he says stands up from the table.  
“Wait Ian was I right? Is it a guy”  
He stretches his arms above his head “ I really just didn't much sleep last night man, can we talk about this another time. He turns to walk up the stairs not waiting for an answer.  
His brother stands up and follows him up the stairs “Yea ..that's probably because you stayed out all night”  
He kicked off his shoes and sat down on his bed refusing to look at his brother. Lip sat down next to him. “it is a guy isn't it?”  
He looked over at him then at the ground, still refusing to speak. He knew his silence was giving him away and he prayed his brother would take the win and leave it be. He felt his brother sigh deeply, then he wrapped him up in his arms. “It's ok Ian. You know I don't care if you're seeing someone.I just want you to be happy ok”  
He looked up at his brother at the sincerity in his eyes and he wanted to tell him how truly unhappy he was but he couldn't. Lip looked so relieved that he had cracked the case, he didn't want to spoil it.  
His brother pulled away and walked over to his dresser grabbing a joint from his stash. He hands it to him then sits down on the bed. He pulls out his lighter “So..I'm guessing boyfriends can be just as crazy as girlfriends?” he says lighting the joint. [](http://tinypic.com?ref=262tmi8)  
Ian laughed and grabbed it taking a long drag, allowing the smoke to fill the emptiness inside him.  
“I guess you can say that” he wasn't sure what to say really. Mickey wasn't his boyfriend...not really.. no not at all. He was however a lot to handle and if lip could relate to that, it was a start.  
“He's pretty bossy dude. You know what I mean like demanding all the time” he replied slowly, regretting each word as they came out.  
“Yea I know the type. That's called high maintenance Ian. There's just something about Gallaghers that seems to attract crazy. Is he cute at least?”  
“ I mean yea ..very....but I don't like him at all. I don't even know how I let it get this far” he says falling prey to his high his words escaping easily  
“I've been there man. The cute ones are the craziest, you gotta let them down gently or you'll end up with a stalker”  
Ian laughed awkwardly thinking of the conversation he had with Mickey the day before, how he randomly decided to text him..it was creepy. He thought back to the alley. He had gone so many other places. Mickey had to have been following him the whole time but he didn't know it, not until it was too late. He wondered how often he did that. Was Mickey following him ? I mean the guy was a huge control freak and...  
“hey” he saw his brother snap his fingers in front of his face. “Maybe you should lay down space cadet” he laughed.  
“Shut up. I told you I was tired” he replied and kicked at his brother until he stood up.  
“Yea yea, talk to me ok. You don't have to keep shit to yourself. You're my brother Ian, let me help you ok”  
“OK. Now can you help me by leaving and letting me go to sleep?”  
Lip shook his head and laughed shutting off the light and closing the door behind him.  
He was actually really tired. His sleep last night was restless between sleeping in Mickeys bed and his dreams. His dreams were filled with bits and pieces of blue eyes staring down at him, like they were looking into his soul. Ugh he shook the feeling off and layed down on his bed. He grabbed his phone and thought about setting the alarm but decided not too. He didn't care if he was late today, he didn't care about anything anymore. To be honest he just wanted to sleep for the day, for the week even. It seemed like that was the only time he was at peace and even then occasionally Mickey would find a way to ruin that too. He stared at the ceiling and closed his eyes, it was only a few moments before he was drifting off to sleep.

*****************************************************************************

 

Mickey sat behind the counter staring at the clock. It was 4: 15pm and Ian still wasn't here. He thought they had gotten passed this. He knew the kid was just being defiant by being late but recently he had made a point to be on time, early even by a few minutes. This was just another way he was acting out and another thing he would have to fix. He really should fire him for being constantly late. He'd had multiple warnings but ian was more than just an employee to him now. He was his, so instead of firing him he would just have to punish him. Thats right, he would learn eventually just like everything else. It surprised him sometimes how childish Ian could be, but then he would remember he was only 16.  
He heard the bell on the door and looked up to see Ian walking straight to the back.  
“Where do you think you're going?” He says not bothering to stand , he would make Ian come to him.  
“I'm just putting my stuff away then i'll put away the order” the boy called back.  
Mickey shook his head in amusement at the boys disregard that he was late. Ian knew how much it irritated him.  
“the order can wait. Come here”  
“I really just want to get it done Mickey so I can stock the shelves before we do inventory”  
Wow. Normally he would be happy that Ian was being so efficient but he knew it was because he was trying to avoid him. That was not gonna happen.  
“Yo Gallagher! Get your ass over here man”  
He could see ian set a box down on the floor then he turned to walk towards him. The closer he got he could tell something was off, he just didn't know what.  
“You're late again kid you know that?” he looked at Ian with wide eyes waiting for some stupid excuse as usual.  
The kid folded his arms across his chest and stared at the ground.  
“I slept through my alarm i'm sorry” he said softly, to softly.  
He heard like half of what he said before his voice trailed off. He stood up from the counter and walked around to front “What's that mumbles?”  
“I said I slept through my fucking alarm ok” Ian snapped , turning around and walking back to the storage room.  
What the hell had gotten into this kid? He had a serious attitude and Mickey was not having it. It was like he had completely forgotten everything. He was being willful and defiant and frankly it was pissing him off. He walked quickly over to Ian grabbing him and pushing him up against the shelf.  
“The hell's the matter with you kid? You think you can come in here 15 fucking minutes late like it's no big deal?”  
“I'm sorry i..”  
“Yea you're sorry, I don't give a fuck about your sorries, and what makes you think you can talk to me like that kid?” he says moving his hands down to his waist gripping tightly and pushing him harder into the wall.  
“Ow! Come on Mickey I'm..”  
“don't say you're fucking sorry. Tell me what your thinking in that dumb little head of yours red”  
He knew he was being harsh but he didn't really care. Ian needed to know and remember who was in charge. It was his job to remind him if he slipped up.  
“Nothing I just want to work please Mickey i'm sorry”  
This was getting him nowhere, he raised his hand to smack the kid hoping to maybe scare him into telling him what he wanted to hear, even though he wasn't sure he knew what that was. He knew something was wrong though.  
He was was staring at his face when he noticed a bruise forming on his right cheek. The hell?  
“ the fuck is this?” he snaps at the kid raising his hand to point at his face.  
Ian flinches away “W..what?”  
“Don't give me fucking what. Your face Gallagher. Who fucking hit you?”  
He knew it wasn't him because he was left handed and this was from a right handed person. He also had rarely punched Ian in his face, not only was it too noticeable but he didn't see the point. A slap across the face was just as effective and didn't leave such an ugly bruise on such beautiful skin. He found himself getting very angry the more he thought about someone else hitting Ian. Ian was his. Who the hell was this person that thought they could fuck with what was his? They left a mark on his Ian.  
Ian stood there quietly staring at him, his green eyes were turning red and Mickey could tell he was trying not to cry. Fuck. He honestly HATED when Ian cried. Not because it made him ugly because it didn't, if anything it made him more innocent. He became more vulnerable and seeing it made a part of Mickey want to give him everything to stop the tears. It made him want to hold him and tell him it was ok and that was a part of him he did not like. A part he immediately shut down wish harsh words and violence. He was not the guy you went to for comfort, he didn't do fucking emotions. Stupid kid, fucking with him like this . He let goes of Ian's waist and felt his body relax slightly.  
“I'm not gonna ask you again kid who fucking hit you?”  
“Frank ok. He was drunk it happens” Ian replied looking down at the floor  
Mickey stepped back in shock “Fucking Frank? That drunk waste of life hit you? He fucking hits you?”  
Ian shook his head “No Mickey he doesn't like beat me ok, but he gets drunk sometimes and we just don't get along. It's none of your business anyways. Why do you even care you do it?” he snapped.  
This kid was seriously loosing his fucking mind, it was taking all of his strength to remain calm and not lose his shit. Fuck it. He was gonna find Frank and fuck him up, teach him not to touch his things.  
“I don't want anyone fucking with what's mine got it. I'm not fucking cool with that Gallagher. Your dad's got another thing coming if he thinks he can fucking touch you like that”  
He walks over at places his hand on the boys face “He fucking punched you so he's a fucking dead man”  
Ian grabbed his hands which took him by surprise, his hand was firm and warm. “Mickey please. He's a drunk. He probably doesn't even remember, just leave him alone”  
He pulled his hands away “are you fucking kidding me right now? He hits you and you think i'm just gonna look the other way? You're fucking dumber than I thought Gallagher.”  
He's hot now, he can feel his temperature rising, he needs to to leave now. He needs to find Frank and kick his ass. Ian would be mad but he doesn't care, what was he expecting him to do I mean really.  
“Just keep the store closed and finish the order. I'll be back” he said and headed for the door.  
“Mickey wait” Ian followed after him and grabbed his arm which again was unfamiliar to him.  
“What?”  
“You don't need too..i don't want you too”  
He shook his head in frustration tugging his arm away “What did I just say to you? Done is done, your piece of shit dad made his bed, so shut up and watch the fucking store.” he turned to leave “trust me kid I'm doing you a favor”

****************************************

He climbed in his car and knew exactly where to go. Frank was a drunk and a junkie so he would start with the bars and work his way to the galleries later. He couldn't get Ian face out of his mind as he drove to the Alibi. His perfect skin was tarnished because of this stupid asshole. He didn't know what he planned to do but he knew he was gonna kick his ass. He parked his car and walked into the bar.  
“Evening Mickey” Kevin the bartender greeted from behind the counter.  
“You seen Frank?” he replied walking up to the bar.  
The bartender looked at him for a few minutes studying his face “Frank who?” he replied.  
Are you serious right now? He was in no mood for these childish games. He pulls out his gun and set it on the counter.  
“Don't give me Frank fucking who? How many people come in here named Frank?” he snapped.  
“Don't get salty sweetie. [](http://tinypic.com?ref=6tpvo2)There' Frank Stitson, substitute math teacher loves sudoku. There's Frank Salmon, comes in on Thursdays with his soft ball buddies and there's Frank Mcknolt, retired air traffic controller playing pool” the guy looks over at the pool table.  
Mickey runs his hands through his hair in frustration “Frank Gallagher”  
“check the Rusty Hammer they got happy hour breakfast 9-11...he's a bargain drinker”  
Mickey licked his lips. He knew the guy was lying, that Frank was there,he could feel it.  
“fuck” he grabbed his gun off the counter and walked out the door. He stepped outside into the cool Chicago air and looked around. There was a sandwich shop across the street. He could just post up there until the bastard emerged drunk from the bar then they would have a little chat.

Fuck he hated waiting. He had ordered food but it had been a few hours. The cashier kept asking him if he wanted anything else, making him feel like he needed to leave.  
“Fuck off i'm fine. Thank you” he snapped after the 3rd time he was asked. Jesus christ this was taking to fucking long. He had been sitting there for 3 hours. How much could one guy drink I mean really?He was about to abandon his post and find a new place to hide when he saw frank exiting the bar. He chugged the last of his cola and walked out side.

The man was clearly drunk. He trailed a behind him far enough that he wouldn't suspect he was being followed. Every few steps Frank would forget he was walking and almost topple down. He watched as he turned the corner and stumbled into an alley. Mickey picked up his pace and followed close behind, he entered the alley to see Frank peeing on a trashcan. He stood there silently waiting for the man to turn around. Frank zipped his pants and turned around looking him square in the face.  
“Ay frank”  
“Mickey Milkovich. To what do I owe the pleasure?” the man ask sarcastically.  
Mickey laughs and rubs his nose before rearing back and headbutting him in the nose  
“Ow fuck. What the hell dude” the guy cries and hold his face and leaning into the wall  
Mickey walks up to him and punches him in the gut dropping him to his knees “you need to leave the Gallaghers alone you hear me?” he says looking down at the man  
“I don't know what your talking about” frank cries and tries to stand up  
Seriously? This fucking guy was a piece of work. Was he really trying to deny it now  
“don't give me that shit Frank. You know I work with Ian. You think you can just hit on your kids?” he yells and kicks the guy in the stomach  
“The little ingrate was asking for it, he has no respect for anyone. He should be thanking me, instead he acts like i'm the bad guy.”  
“leave” he kicks him in the stomach “him the fuck alone” he says darkly  
He kneels down and grabs Frank by back of his head and smashes his face against the wall “If I see or hear that you been around that fucking house or Ian I swear to god Frank, I'm not gonna go so easy on you”  
He stands up and brushes of his pants. “have a good night Frank” he smiles looking down at the bloodied man.  
He walked back to his car and headed to the store. That felt good. He needed that. He needed to get that anger out of his system so that he could focus on what was important. Ian. The kid had been unusually defiant recently, everything with Mandy and coming in late. He needed to learn is place. He pulled up to the store and the sign still said closed. He unlocked the door and was surprised to find he was alone. The order was put away and inventory was done so that was a plus but where the fuck was ian? It was only 8pm, he still had 2 more hours left on his shift what the fuck? He walked back to the storage closet just to check but it was empty except for the back stock. He could not believe this kid, sure he told him to close the store but that didn't mean he didn't have to stay and finish his shift. Anyone else would be fired on the spot but Ian...Ian was different completely. He decided to keep the store closed and get some sleep, it had been a long day. He would find Ian tomorrow and set him straight, for now a burger and a 40 sounded like the perfect way to end the day. He locked up the store again and went home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update coming tonight as well xoxo


	14. Say It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey goes to Ians house

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok. So this was a hard chapter for me. I tried to create a balance of hot and cold. Rough and feels lol. The sex scene is in both POVS to give the best impact, hopefully it's easy to follow. Thank you again for following this story, we are a little pass the halfway point so still more to come. xoxoxo

The next morning he woke up on a mission. He had great nights sleep and Mandy had made them eggs for breakfast. He ate his food quickly eager to leave and see his....the fuck was he anyway? Boyfriend? No..not yet. He was his though and that was all that mattered. Sure he wanted more but it was very unlikely that would happen so he would settle for the high of just being in control. Ian didn't want to be with him but he was anyways and that was a rush he could not get enough of.

He couldn't believe that the store was closed when he came back last night, it wasn't even 8pm yet and the kid closed the store 2 fucking hours early. Now here was on a Sunday walking up the stairs to the Gallagher house. He wanted to make sure Frank got the message, to make sure he had left completely..he was also hoping to see Ian. He needed to make sure he understood that he couldn't do whatever he wanted, like show up late or fucking close his store. Like what the hell was he thinking? He was being to nice, that was it. Seeing him outside of work was making him soft and Ian was picking up on it. Whatever It was he was going to figure it out and fix it. He knocked on the front door and was greeted by Ian's sister Fiona.   
Mickey scratched the back of his neck "Aye is Frank around?"  
"Nope haven't seen him. Wanna come in?"  
"Uh sure. How bout Ian he home?"  
"He's sleeping upstairs. Poor kid looked exhausted" she replied, her eyes were tired and full of concern as she spoke.  
"Oh yea?" he pulls out a chair and sits down making himself comfortable. "how bout you huh? You look a little tired yourself..somethin on your mind?" He didn't really care but figured he would make nice because she could get him closer to Ian.  
She sits down at the table across from him "I'm just worried. You're around Ian a lot, do you know what going on with him lately? He's different...withdrawn"  
"Wouldn't worry bout it. He's a teenager. They do weird shit like that, trust me my sister is the same age" he replied pulling out his pack of smoke. He grabs two and looks up at Fiona "want one?  
"Sure thanks" she replies "I don't know I just feel like there is something more to it. He's skipping school and snapping at everyone. He's a sweet kid always has been. I don't know Mandy is his girlfriend right? You think she might know?"   
For some reason those words got to him. He knew Ian had come out to his family but obviously she didn't expect him to know that. Still girlfriend? Nope.  
"Mandy's not his girlfriend" he snaps with annoyance "they're just fucking friends alright." he rubs his knuckle under his chin and looks at the girl who appears shocked by his change in demeanor. Fuck he was already fucking this up.  
"Look I'm sorry. It's just my sister is important to me.She can make me crazy sometimes” he replied taking a drag of his cigarette. “I'll ask her if she knows anything OK for now i'm gonna say don't worry bout it try to focus on you"  
That seemed to work. Fiona smiled at his words bashfully.  
"Thank you Mickey I appreciate it. You'll let me know if she says anything." She got up to get a beer. "Want one?" She handed him one and sat down. "I guess I can't help but worry. You're probably right though. I ain't his mother don't want to smother him with questions"  
He takes the beer and notices a crib in the corner of the room with a sleeping child "That one yours?" he says taking a sip of his beer and nodding over to the baby boy sitting in his crib.  
"Oh Liam no" she chuckles and sips her beer "He's my baby brother. Sometimes though it feels like he's mine"  
"ah, that makes more sense" he laughs his eyes taking in her frame," your body don't look like you've had kids so i thought i'd ask "   
“You're sweet” she replies and takes a sip of her beer, her eyes staring back at him. At least his plan was working, flirting had always been easy for him. He was somewhat of a ladies man which was funny because he liked guys. It came in handy though when he needed to keep his dad off his back.  
Suddenly he hears the creak of the stairs and looks over. Ian is walking down to the bottom of the stairs in nothing but his boxers. His hair is tousled and going every which way which was fucking adorable. His eyes were still filled with sleep as he rubs them with his palm.  
"Fi you got anymore ibuprofen my head is fucking killing me" the boy says as he leans against the stairway  
Mickey had to resist the urge to jump up from the table and pounce on him because he looked so stinkin cute right now and it was making him sweat. He was used to Ian being sexy and naked but this was a side of him he didn't see very often and he was soaking it in.  
"Of course sweet face. Let me grab it." Fiona walks into the bathroom and gets the bottle. "Here take three.” she replies. “ You gonna be polite and say hi to Mickey?"   
The boy looks over a him and raises his brow. His eyes are wide like he just realized he was sitting there "You gotta be fucking kidding me?" he scoffs "What the hell are you even doing here Mickey?"  
Fiona waves her arms angrily in front of her "Ian what the hell! Why are you being so fuckin rude? Mickey was just checking up on you. The least you could do is be fucking nice. He is your boss after all"   
Mickey looks over at ian who is standing there with his arms crossed and smiles as he swallows his beer. "Shes right Gallagher, probably shouldn't speak too your boss that way man." 

The boy runs his hands through his hair then down his face shaking his head "you know what i cant..i cant do this right now" he looks over at his sister " he may be my boss but this is my house and i don't want him here" he says and runs up the stairs.  
Mickey looks over at Fiona who is rubbing her temple  
"Hes got an attitude on him don't he?" he chugs the last of his beer and wipes his mouth with his hand.  
"I can't do this with him anymore. He won't talk to me. I don't know what's wrong and I don't know how to fucking help him"  
Mickey stands up from the table and walks over to Fiona resting his hand on her shoulder. "Why don't you go relax and do some girly shit or whatever and let me try and talk to him. Can't be much different then dealing with Mandy"  
“Thank you Mickey. To be honest I could really use a drink”  
Mickey was surprised by the girls honesty “Alright then. You go do that, we'll be fine”  
“You sure?”  
“Positive. Get outta here” He smiled. He wanted her to leave so bad he practically pushed her out the door.  
“Thank you Mickey, for everything” she said with a weak smile and kind eyes. Fuck she did look like she needed a drink.  
“ok ok..don't get all mushy on me. Go do you alright”   
The girl heads down the stairs and he shuts the door. That worked out way better than he expected. He looked around he house taking in his surroundings. It was nice. Not like fancy or some shit but it felt like a home. He could tell the family was close as he looked at the pictures on the wall. It was foreign to him to see such a domestic life. The Gallaghers were as poor as his family but they had each other. Sure he made good money at the Kash and Grab but most of it went to pay the rent and make sure the house had food. He kept walking around money but it was never much. He glanced over at the stairs and felt butterflies in his stomach. He wanted Ian so badly and now they were alone to do whatever he wanted.

He walked up the stairs to Ian's bedroom and opened the door. He was lying on the bed facing the wall, his headphones were in his ears his head rested on the pillow. He walked over to the bed and placed his hand on the boys shoulder. Ian turned over quickly at the touch and saw Mickey standing above him.  
“Go away” he said loudly and turned back to the wall.  
Mickey turned around and locked the door then walked over to the boys bed. He reached up and pulled a headphone out of Ians ear.  
“hey look at me” he said as he ran his hand over the boys side.  
"just leave me alone" he snapped putting back in his headphone and staring at the wall.  
Mickey took a deep breath and grabbed his shoulder jostling him “Ian look at me, don't make me ask you again kid”   
“GO AWAY”   
Mickey shook his head in disbelief, licking his lips “That mouth is about to get you into some serious shit” he said firmly  
He could tell by the tone in Mickey's voice that he was losing his patience but so was he. He stood up and got in Mickey's face. "What do you want Mickey?" he seethed" Why are you even here?"  
Mickey moved his hand under the boy's shirt feeling the warm softness of his skin “You” he replied softly entranced in the way the boy's body felt under his fingers  
“No fuck off” Ian yelled pushing Mickey's hand away.  
He looked over at Ian thoughtfully then shoved him hard back onto the bed, climbing on top of him “I want you Ian. I wanna fuck you. You look so fucking sexy right now” he replied licking his lips. The kid was now wearing a white tank top and boxers. He was bucking his body wildly trying to knock him off .  
"No Mickey no more, I can't do it. I won't. Get the fuck off" Ian yells. Hands push at him but he doesn't care, he's not going anywhere, he needs Ian right now.  
“yes you can kid and you will” Mickey leaned down to kiss him.  
“Fuck You!” Ian yells and kicks as hard as he can causing Mickey to go backwards on the bed.  
He takes the chance and springs up from his bed. He is about to open door when strong arms wrap around him pulling him back. Mickey holds him tightly, his arms secure at his side under his firm grip.  
“You really think you can run red.” he whispers in the boy's ear and kisses his neck. Ian tries to jerk his head away from the kiss.  
“You're mine.” Mickey says “ It's doesn't matter what you do. You'll always be mine”  
“No Mickey” he struggles against the grip holding him but he isn't getting anywhere.  
“Look around you. Do you see where we are..hmm? We're in your room, in your house don't you get it? Stop fighting this kid cause you're gonna lose” he replies his voice is low and primal as his lips brush against the boys ear.  
he loosens his grip and slides one of his hands down the boy's pants.  
Ian feels Mickey's hand slipping beneath his boxers then the feeling of his hand massaging his shaft. Mickey pulls out his hand and turns him around so they are face to face .He turns his head so he doesn't have to meet Mickey's eyes. Mickey grasps him by the chin but he pulls away from his grip clenching his teeth.  
Mickey grabs his face again, this time his grip is firm.  
“Do you hear me Ian?” his blue eyes fixed on the boys green ones.   
Mickey's gaze is so intense. He can't bare to stare at his eyes much longer so he looks down at the floor instead. He just wanted to disappear. He wanted to slip away, from the world, from his body and be left alone. What was the point in fighting anymore. He was trapped and he knew it, he tried to deny it but the reality was slapping him hard in the face, no..that was Mickey.  
“Jesus what?” he says exhausted  
“Don't what me, I asked you a question? You just gonna stand there and ignore me?” he looked at Ian who was holding his hand to his face.  
"What do you want me to say Mickey?" Ian said with his last hope at convincing Mickey this was over. "What can I say to get you to leave me alone? What can I do." He cried still touching his reddened cheek. Even as he said the words he saw that they had no effect on Mickey. Nothing was going to change his mind. At that moment he knew the fight was over but he couldn't bring himself to say it.   
Mickey reached out and removed the boy's hand replacing it with his own, his thumb rubbing ian's warm skin. “I want you to say that you're mine Gallagher. That you belong to me. I wanna hear you say it” he looked in his eyes and watched as the struggle and confusion danced behind them.  
“I'm not.. I don't belong to anyone” Ian says softly but he doesn't even believe his own words anymore.  
Mickey rubs his nose and figures why not and smacks the boy again.  
“Fuck Mickey” Ian cries and walks over to the bed to sit down.  
He follows Ian to the bed then crouches down to his knees and looks up at him.  
“Say it Ian” he says hoping this would be the moment. This is what he was waiting for, but Ian just holds his reddening face and stares at the ground. Mickey reaches out and grips his hair pulling his head back harshly.”Fucking say it”  
This was what he wanted, everything had been leading up to this moment. He knew he could get the kid to say anything when he was fucking him, getting him off but now, when he was sitting in front of him eye to eye, this is when it counts. He waited patiently and continued to stare into Ian's eyes until he saw the boy body relax , like he had given up.   
“fine ok” Ian said finally and Mickey let go of his hair  
“I'm....” he took a deep breath and felt his dignity slipping away “i'm yours”  
“and” Mickey coaxes  
“I belong to you” he says softly almost inaudible.  
“i didn't hear you”  
He sighs heavily “I belong to you”

Mickey stood up from the floor and stared at Ian sitting on the bed. Fuck. The amount of satisfaction he was feeling was insane. No drug could compare, it was the biggest rush he had ever had.   
“Stand up” he said and waited. Sure as shit Ian stood up off the bed.  
“mm that's good kid. Now give me a kiss,. A good one, none of that thin lipped crap” he smiled and winked at him.  
Ian watches as he walks over to the guy and presses his lips into his. His tongue slipping into his mouth. He feels Mickeys hands run down his body and squeeze his ass then returnt to the small of his back.   
Mickey feels lost in the feeling of the boy's tongue in his mouth, it's soft and timid and that turns his on.   
“You taste so good kid. Such a good boy” he says, he pushes Ian back onto the bed and pulls off his shirt. He climbs on top of Ian again, this time with ease, he pulls the kid tank top up over his head and throws it on the ground. Green eyes are string back at him and he wonders what it would feel like to be touched. Sure the kid had his dick in his mouth and they had kissed but he never like touched him. He leans down and kisses him again biting his lip.  
“Touch me” he says softly in his ear.  
Ian looks at him and he is confused. What does he mean touch me? That's such a broad statement. He assumes he means his dick cause what else could he mean, so he reaches out and massages the prominent outline in Mickey's jeans.  
“No. Not like that” Mickey says grabbing his hand and placing on his chest. He's never felt him before, not like this. He's warm and soft unlike his personality. His hand moves awkwardly down through the light chest hair on Mickey's pale skin, over his abs resting at his waist.  
“That feels nice” he says and kisses him again, lingering on his lips before pulling away again.  
Ian is not sure what is happening. He kinda just wanted Mickey to fuck him and get it over with because whatever was happening now was making him feel weird.  
Mickey gets off the bed and kicks off his pants  
“take off your boxers” he says looking at Ian. The kid slowly pulls off his boxers and drops them on the ground.  
“Touch yourself” he says drunk on the fact Ian is doing everything he asks. He can't believe this is happening, he was gonna take this slow and savor every moment.  
Ian stares at the ceiling for a moment before closing his eyes. He reaches down and grasps his dick firmly in his hands and start stroking himself. He opens his eyes to find Mickey standing in front of him watching him as he licks his lips and hums softly at his own touch.  
Fuck he was so sexy lying there, his dick was glistening with precum as the boys hands moved back and forth.  
“Goddamn Gallagher, You are so fucking sexy” he say getting onto the bed and sitting on his knees. He pushes Ian legs apart so he can get the best view. Ian's head is laying back on the pillow and he's sucking on his lip, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. He leans down and licks the tips of Ians dick, his hand reaching up to grab Ian's as it glides over his shaft.  
“I'm gonna make you feel so good” he says and slips his mouth over his dick. Fuck. He could not understand why he liked this so much, Ian's dick in his mouth. The taste of his cum on his lips, it was the best fucking thing ever. What was wrong with him? Never before would he volunteer to give a blow job, but now it was the first thing he wanted to do when the boys pants came off.  
He slowly moved his lips up and down over the boy's dick, his mouth accepting more and more.  
“mm” Ian moaned above as his tongue circled around him. He pulled his mouth off with a pop and spit on the boys hole, before pressing in a finger.   
“Fuck” ian cried as he slowly moved his finger back and forth and licked a stripe from the base to the tip of his dick.  
“mm you aint seen nothin yet” Mickey replied and kissed his stomach  
Ian lay there falling away from everything but the sensations running through his body. Mickey voice was low and seductive and he found himself in a trance.  
His skin was so fucking soft and it smelled like oranges. He must have taken a shower last night cause his scent was making him want to eat him alive. Fuck he needed to control himself, he was getting to into it but he couldn't help it. Ian was so relaxed and beautiful and he could do anything he wanted. He lifted ian's legs up so that they were resting on his shoulder. He couldn't resist biting him roughly, his tongue sliding across his freckled skin as he made his way down the inside of his thigh.  
He stiffened as Mickey made his way . What was he doing? He lay there and kept his eyes closed because was quite nervous to find out.  
He pulled his finger out of ian's ass causing the boy to exhale heavily. He pushed apart his cheeks and traced his tongue around his puckered entrance. His touch casing the boy to quiver underneath him.  
“holy shit” Ian cried. What the fuck? Was Mickey really going to rim him? He's heard about it and seen in some pornos but had never actually done it or had someone do it to him. He always thought it seemed kinda dirty but fuck if it didn't feel good.  
He pressed his finger in again just enough to open the boy up before replacing it with his tongue. He began flicking it in and out of Ians hole, his finger moving softly back and forth over the delicate bundle of nerves. He did not not why he didn't do this sooner. All this time he he'd just been fucking him and fingering him when he could have been eating out his sexy little hole. Ians trembling legs were now wrapped tightly around his neck pulling him in closer. The boy's moans filled the air as he kissed and sucked his ass.`   
“Mm you like that don't you Gallagher. You a dirty little boy” he said pressing a finger back inside him.  
"Fuck...yes" he grabbed onto the sheets. It felt good. So so good. He didn't think he was a dirty boy but he was definitely moaning like one. He needed to try to at least not sound like such a slut, he didn't want to give Mickey the satisfaction. He took one of his hands and covered his mouth trying to stifle his moans.  
Mickey reached down to ease the hard on is his boxers. He looked up at ian who had his hand clasped firmly over his mouth.  
"Mm mm..none of that. I want to hear you moan like a good boy." He dipped his tongue back in one more time, swirling it in circles.  
"Yes..fuck..yes"   
Mickey sat up and slapped him on the ass hard.  
"I'm gonna fuck you so good Gallagher. You're gonna beg me to cum" he smiled then planted a wet kiss on ian's lips. He hopped of the bed and walked over to the nightstand. He opened it and pulled out some lube.  
"I knew you'd have this you dirty bitch" he smiled grabbing the lube and climbing back on the bed.  
Shit he was so hard right now why did his body always do this? He tried to tell it to not respond to not like it but now here he was waiting for Mickey's touch, his body needed it, it was craving it but his mind was still far away. He didn't want to be a good boy even if his body did. He needed to stop thinking just feel. He closed his eyes and decided to turn off his brain and soon it would be over.  
Mickey looked down and ian whose eyes were tightly shut. He wanted to see those green eyes, he wanted to see the lust and torment behind them.   
“ Ian open your eyes” he said as he squeezed the lube onto his hand and stroked his hard cock. The boy kept his eyes shut as he lifted one of ians legs over his shoulder and rubbed the tip of his penis over the boy's entrance.  
Ian breath hitched at the touch and Mickey soaked it in.  
“Open your fucking eyes” he demanded. He slapped his dick against his ass then pushed in slowly grabbing the boys leg for leverage  
“mmm.. fuuuck” He hissed as Mickey bottomed out his eyes flying open. The feeling of him inside made his toes curl and mind spin.  
Fuck he was so warm and tight, every single time. He pumped into him bringing his hands down to his waist.  
“Uh..uh..shit” Ian moaned loudly with every thrust. He adjusted his angle so that Ian's legs were next to him allowing him to lay above the boy. He pumped into him hard and fast, the boys face twisting in pleasure  
“That's right red. You take it just like that” he says and leans down to kiss the boys neck, hearing his breathy moans up close.  
“mm you sound so sexy for me. Such a good boy” he says and stares into Ian's eyes. They were flickering with lust and want so piercing and green. He continued to thrust into him over and over still fixated on his eyes.   
“mm fuck” Ian cries out loudly and it brings him out of his trance. What was he doing? Why did this keep happening? He kept feeling himself becoming trapped by the way Ian's body moved with his and the ways his eyes looked deep into his soul and he filled him up. He felt so good beneath him but he wanted more, he wanted the fear and the control. He pulled out and stood up  
“Get up”   
“What why?” Ian his voice laced with confusion  
“Get the fuck up” he says and smacks his bare ass  
“Ok ok” Ian replies and get up from the bed so that he is standing face to face with him. He reaches out and grabs his arms and pushes him roughly into the wall.  
“Mickey what are we …..”  
“Did I tell you to talk?”  
“No but..” he smacks him hard  
“shut the fuck up unless I tell you to talk” he says   
He looks up at Mickey and he is completely lost. He didn't know how to read the guy even when he tried. One moment it was like he knew everything that made his body react and he wanted to make him feel good, but then this would happen and he was reminded that Mickey was fucking crazy. I mean he should just never forget that fact because for as long as he could remember the guy could change his tune faster than shit, it was honestly terrifying cause he never knew what to expect.  
He looks at Ian who is standing there naked and there's a familiar look in his eyes, the look of confusion, fear. Mickey didn't know why that turned him on so much but it did.  
“Turn around” he said and looked at Ian with wide eyes. The boy stood there for a brief moment before turning round facing the wall.  
“That good Gallagher” he says and reaches down to grab Ian dick. His hands wraps around it firmly as it becomes hard at his touch.  
He stared at him lying naked against the wall “mmm you're such a little slut man”   
Mickey leans is at looks at him with a smile then pulls back. He rests his cheek against the wall, letting the coldness refresh his face.  
Suddenly he feels Mickey inside of him and hands pulling down on his shoulder.  
“Fuck Mickey” he says honestly take by surprise.  
“That right bitch say my name” Mickey replies and fucks into him hard and fast.  
“Oh fuck” he cries the angle he's at Mickey is hitting his prostate and he feels like his body is electric. He can't help but roll his hips backwards to meet his thrust, all he cares about is getting him deeper and closer now chasing his own release.  
“Fuck..fuck..yea..fuck” he moans bringing his hands up to wall for balance.  
“You like that?” he groans as he fucks into the boy, running his hand up his back  
“Uh”  
“answer me Ian” he replies  
“Yes fuck”  
“”yes what?”  
“Yes ...huh..yes I like it” he cries, the words falling out of his mouth so easily with each thrust of mickey's hips. He wants to cum so bad but he's not there yet and he's not gonna say say anything. He already hates himself for thinking about leaning back into Mickey to get a better angle. Mickey was right he was just a dirty whore who liked to get fuck, who would beg for it and he was proving it right now.  
“fuck me Mickey” he cries giving up on holding back  
“Oh I am”  
“ Please Mickey make me cum please..please” he pants his face still pressed against the wall. He hates himself now, it's official. His body was craving the sweet release and he knew Mickey could give it to him.  
Mickey wasn't sure he'd heard the boy, but he heard his name. “What did you say?”  
The moment was gone now he wasn't going to repeat it It was a moment of weakness and the fact Mickey didn't hear it left him some dignity “nothing”  
He pulls out and turns him around holding his hand against the wall.  
Ian's confused. Why is he mad? He shouldn't be mad? Now they had stopped his was starting to feel dirty again. Dirty and cheap so began sinking back into his shell.  
“The fuck did you say Gallagher?”  
“n..never mind”  
That irritated him. He could tell he was holding back and that wouldn't be tolerated.  
“you sure bout that?” he says giving Ian one more chance to repeat himself  
Ian nodded his head. He felt a sting across his face and now he was on the bed Mickey on top of him.  
“You're being a bad boy Ian and you know what happens to bad boys don't you”  
“What did I do?” he cries, knowing full well he would never repeat those words  
“You holding back from me. Your mine now you can't do that”  
“I'm sorry”  
“Shhh. Don't apologize” Mickey said as he slipped into him putting his finger to his lips.”Just take your punishment like a good boy”  
“OoK” Ian sighs as Mickey moves slowly into him his hands moving up to his face. He touches the boy's red face slowly moving his hands to his neck.  
He starts to speed up thrusting hard into the boy. “Shit..fuck” Ian cries out.  
“Yea you like that” he says his hands moving closer to Ian throat. He can feel the boy swallow nervously as he wraps his hand around his throat. He needed this. He needed to be reminded he was in control and honestly the struggle got him off.  
“Mickey wh..”  
“shh what did I say” he replies and continues to fuck him but squeezes harder.  
“please”  
“take it like a good boy gallagher” he repeats , the boys eyes are terrified but filled with need.  
He can feel the tingle in his balls rising up through his body. He takes one hand and grab ian's dick, the other hand is still slowly squeezing throat still. He move his hand feverishly over the boy's hard cock, taking pleasure in his struggle cries.  
“so good gallager..so good” he says feeling like he going to explode   
“M..Mickey please” Ian gasps his hand squeezing his throat  
“Please what?”  
“please I can't”  
“No.no gallagher that's not what I want to hear” he says gripping his dick and running his thumb over the slit.  
“I'm gonna cum mickey..please”  
“Yea you are, I want you to cum saying my name with those naughty lips” he pants and leans down biting Ian's bottom lip  
“Mickey I'm..fuck Mickey” Ian gasps as he cum hard in his hand  
He pulls out of the boys ass as strokes himself hard as he he watches ian's eyes roll back from his orgasm and possibly lack of air   
“Mickey..please” Ian says one more time, his voice is soft and tired and it throws him over the edge and he cums hot strips on his stomach. He lets go of the boys throat and Ian is immediately taking in deep breaths. He leans down carefully and meets with Ian's lips. His slips his tongue inside and runs his hand through his hair for a brief moment before getting off the bed. He grabs a shirt from the hamper and wipes his hand tossing it and Ian. He pulls on his pants and his shirt, grabbing a smoke from his jacket. He lights it up and looks over at Ian.  
“Wow kid. That was fucking good. Get your ass cleaned up. I'm fucking hungry now.” He says and walks out the door.


	15. Who Are You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey, Ian and Mandy go to the movies. I realizes just how much he has changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg guys im so sorry for the delay. So much has happened this week ..it has been hectic but good. I went on a road trip today and had to use my hotspot to figure out internet access lol but here is the chapter. Hope you all enjoy. As always thank you to my lovely beta. jessica i would be lost without you. xoxo

  
The sound of his phone buzzing on his dresser pulls him from his slumber. He rubs the sleep from his eyes with his knuckle and lets a long yawn escape his mouth. He hasn't been getting the best sleep lately. It seemed like it took forever for him to quiet the thoughts in his mind and when he finally managed to do so they would come back to haunt him in his dreams. He was consitantly at war with his mind. His body was a willing participant now. He found it craving Mickey's touch and it was terrifying. He didn't think he would ever become this person, he fought hard to keep himself but it was a loosing battle. He could hate Mickey and he did, but when he felt those strong rough hand caress his body it was like he became a completely different person. He became the good boy, the whore , the dirty slut that he been conditioned into. That's all he was anymore, there was no more Ian left in him. He tried his best to not let it affect the rest of his life but somehow his life had started revolving around Mickey . The guy was finding ways to reach him no matter where he went, there was no escape. He stretched his arms above his head shaking the tiredness from his limbs then set his feet on the cool floor. He walked over to dresser and grabbed his phone. He was not surprised to see the 3 unread messages from Mickey. He texted him all the time now, it fucked with his mind. Sometimes he was nice and Ian started to relax in the conversation others he just told him how dumb he was or how he was only good for sex and he would snap back to the real world. It was an emotional fucking rollercoaster with the guy. He sighed and ran his hand nervously through his hair before opening up the message.  
  
**Asshole (11:30): You still asleep dude? It's fuckin 11:30**  
**Asshole (11:40): wake ur ass up man**  
 **Asshole (11:45): i really don't wanna have to go over to ur fuckin house kid. R U ignoring me cause that wld be stupid**

Fuck he was persistant. You would think after the first message he would call him if he really wanted his attention but then he would have no excuse to be upset with him.  
**Ian (11:48): No sorry phone was just on silent"  
Asshole (11:50 : bout fuckin time red, was startin to think u were avoiding me, but u wouldn't do that right?**

Yes. Yes he would do that, or at least he wanted to. He wouldn’t put it past Mickey to come to his house though. Conveiniently enough he had become friends or at least friendly with Fiona so Mickey was at his house almost as often as he was at his. They literally saw each other all the time yet that still wasn’t enough for him.  
**Ian (11:52): Of course not Mickey. I wouldn't avoid you  
Asshole (11:53): that's a good boy Gallagher. Wat r u doin today?**

He had no plans but Mickey didn’t need to know that.  
**Ian (11:55): goin for a run then to the store with Fiona**  
**Asshole (12:00) : nah, fuck all that, we're going to see a movie with Mandy**  
**Ian (12:01) : k**

He put his phone on his dresser and reached down to the hamper and grabbed a grey shirt. He gave it a good sniff and decided it was wearable. He went to the closet and grabbed the first flannel he saw and slipped into a pair of nice fitting black jeans. He grabbed his phone off the dresser and was about ready to leave the room when it buzzed again.  
**Asshole (12:10) : I want u here in 30min**

Jesus now he was on a fucking time limit. He rolled his eyes as he typed his short message.  
**Ian (12:11): K ill b there  
Asshole (12:13) : What are you wearing?**

Seriously? What did it matter what the hell he was wearing?  
**Ian (12:14): Jeans and black t shirt with a red plaid button up  
Asshole (12:15) : wrong again lol. Wear the blue one instead with that grey shirt. You look hot in blue**

Is he for real right now. He was not about to dressed again just because Mickey wanted to be an asshole. Fuck.  
**Ian (12:16) : But I'm already dress. Do I have to change?  
Asshole (12:20): ur not arguing w me now are you ? it kinda feels like you are**

Fuck he wasn’t trying to pick a fight but he didn’t understand what the big deal was.  
**Ian (12:22): I just don't understand why I have to change when I'm already dressed. You said you want me there in like 20 mins. If I change I'll be late**  
**Asshole (12:25) : christ kid ur wastin more fuckin time arguing w me and it's pissing me off. Change and take shower.**  
**Asshole (12:25) :Just cause you act like a whore doesn't mean you have to look like one. dont be late**

There is was. He always managed to make him feel like crap, even if it was just through words in a text message. He was over it, he just wanted to get the day over with as soon as possible.  
**Ian (12:30) : Ok Mickey I will shower and change. Be there as soon as I can**

**********************************************************************************************  


“Serously Mickey we are going to be late” Mandy looked at him, her eyes filled with annoyence  
“Fuck off. So we'll miss the beginning bullshit. No one gives a fuck about that shit anyway”  
Mandy scoffed and rolled her eyes “i do”  
He glared at his sister then got up from the couch. He found himself pacing and checking his phone every few minutes. Ian was late..as always. Even when he told him specifically dont be fucking late. He had a feeling this was the kids last bit of defiance, his way of still saying fuck you and that pissed him off. He threw his phone on the couch so he would stop staring at it but countinues to wear out the carpet beneath his feet. Several minutes had gone by and he was about to grab his phone again to text Ian when he heard the knock at the door. He looked for his sister but she had vanished into the bathroom.  
He opened the door and there stood his Ian. He looked fine as hell. He could tell he had showered cause his hair was still kind of wet, bits and pieces sticking to his face. The blue flannel shirt made his green eyes stand out and ..no. What the hell? He was not getting all wrapped up right now in how cute Ian looked, there were things that needed to adressed.  
“Your late” he snapped and raised his brow glaring at the kid in his doorway  
“I know, by the time we got off the phone I..”  
“I don't wanna fucking hear it kid.” he said loudly and licked his lips “ Your fucking late you know I hate that shit..”  
“Ian! What are you doing here?” Mandy walked up glancing at him curiously then wrapped her arms around Ian's neck kissing his cheek. Mickey could feel his stomach churn as he watched the physical contact.  
Ian glanced quickly up at him then back over at Mandy “ Mickey invited me”  
“Really? My brother?” She grabbed Ian by the arm and drug him into the house and shut the door. The red head stayed silent but gave a nod. Mickey was not about to play 20 fucking questions so he threw open the door and looked at his sister  
“Come on bitches lets go” Mickey replied and gestured out the door.  
“wait so it was Ian we were waiting on?” Mandy looked at him , her eyes were confused  
“Is that not fucking obvious?”  
She looks over at Ian “I feel bad I didn't even know you were coming or I would have asked you what you wanna see asshole” she replied and punched him playfully as they walked out the door, Mickey shutting the door behind them.  
“ Fuck Mandy! What the hell?” Ian yelled.  
“It's just that you didn't text me and let me know you were coming”  
“It was last minute ok”  
“Whatever we're gonna see the new Planet of the Apes movie. It looks really good” she replied.  
“Yea? That sound cool Mands. I bet it will be great” Ian replied.

Mickey prayed his bitch sister would just decide to drop the issue. No such luck. They were walking in a comfortable silence her arm hooked into Ians, he was walking a couple feet beind them when she decided to be fucking nosey again  
“So what were you so upset about back there? Something happen at the store?”  
“the fuck are you talking about?” Mickey replied lighting up a cigarette and and inhaling deeply. HIs eyes fixed on his sister .  
She looked over at Ian then back at him “it just sounded like you were mad about something the way you were talking. I just asusmed it was work”  
“What? So now you control how the fuck I talk? You the fucking conversation police hmm?” he replied walking faster so he could be next to Ian. He watched his face for some kind of reaction that may give them away but nothing, he was stoic. The perfect poker face.  
“Fuck you Mickey. Ian's my best friend I just don't know why you would be yelling at him”  
He looked over at Ian and offered him his cigarette with a smile and the boy took it “You think I was yelling Gallagher?”  
“No..not at all. It's fine Mandy don't worry about it” Ian replied and offered a fake smile back . He passed the smoke back to him. He turned to his sister “See bitch. You just need to mind your own fucking buisness”  
He watched as his sister looked over Ians fake smile, his lovely poker face and rolled her eyes.  
“You guys are such assholes you know that” she replied and punched Ian in the shoulder.  
“Ow Mandy again really?”  
She laughed and flipped her hair back coyly “That's for being an ass”  
Ian smiled and genuine smile. It was a wide grin that spread from cheek to cheek and shown through his eyes as well. Mickey had rarely seen him smile outside of the times he was with his sister or when they first me and he had accepted the job.  
“You look like a fucking creep when you smile like that man” Mickey replied and handed him the rest if his smoke. He knew he was lying but he dind't want to get lost in Ian's smile or his eyes, that wasn't what this was about. He wasn't some cute kid he had the hots for. It had gone furher than that. Now Ian was his, he didn't care about his fucking smile, he got off just by watching Ian do what he said. It didn't take long for his words to change the boys smile into a straight face and then he felt satisfied.  
  
By the time they got to the theater the movie was about to start. Of fucking course Mandy wanted to go to the consession stand. What a fucking ripoff. It was 5$ for a small soda, 8$ for a large. Fuck me, and people thought he was a fucking criminal. He looked over at Ian. The boy was looking around the room at the movie posters on the wall. He seemed particularly interested in the popout sign for the new Spider Man movie.  
“Ay you want somethin?” he asked tapping him on the shoulder.  
“I'm good thanks” Ian replied. Mickey scratched the back of his head and glanced over at his sister who was filling up her slurpy cup.  
“the movies over 2 fucking hours, get something”  
“I'm ok really Mickey it's fine” he replies and walks over to Mandy.  
Who turns down free shit? I mean come on. He walks up to the counter and is greeted by some acne faced kid with greasy hair.  
“Yea gimme a large soda and a large popcorn.” he glance down to the candy and hates himself for having such a sweet tooth but just seeing the snicker in the display case he knows he going to buy it even if it is 3$. Fucking crooks “throw in the snickers and a box of skittles too”  
The greasy haired kid puts his order together and rings him up. “That'll be 22$”  
Mickey shook his head and curled his lip in disgust as he pulled out his wallet “Shit cost more than the damn movie” he muttered as the kid handed him back his change. He grabbed his food and walked over to Ian and Mandy who were laughing at something.  
“Here you go chuckles” he replied and shoved the popcorn and ian.  
“But Mickey I told you”  
“I'm sorry what?” Mickey replied pretending like he didn't here Ian because if he did it would sound like he was about to argue with him again.  
“Nothing thanks man” Ian smiled and turned to Mandy.  
“Want some?”  
“Ew no, I hate popcorn. I got nachos bitches”  
“Yea yea can we go please” Mickey replied started walking to the ticket booth.  
They got directions to the theater and came in just as the lights were going down. That was perfect timing. Who needs those stupid previews anyways. He came here for the movie not the damn commercials. They climbed the stairs and decided on the top row. Suprisingly there were not a lot of people and there were 4 seats in the corner. Mickey walked in first, then Ian then Mandy. They took their seats and Mickey set his drink in his cupholder. He propped his feet up on the empty chair in front of him and made himself comfortble. Ian had the popcorn rested on his lap and had already started eating it which made him happy. he knew the fucking kid was hungry he was just being a brat. He reached over and grabbed a handful of popcorn, then took a drink of his Pepsi. He loved the mixture of movie theater popcorn and cold soda, it was a treat. The saltiness of the popcorn mixed with the ice cold carbination of the Pepsi it was perfect. He pushed the drink over to Ian who quickly grabbed it from him, his eyes glued to the screen as he took a long swig and passed it back. He took another sip then placed it in the holder between them. He felt someone slap his shoulder and he looked over to find Mandy staring at him  
“Why the fuck are you two sharing your drink” she whispers at him kneeling in her seat.  
He rolls his eyes and is about to speak when Ian looks at her “it's cheaper” the boy replies.  
Mandy shrugs her shoulders and sits back down in chair “You guys are fucking weird” she mumbles then moves her attention back to the movie. Mickey watches as Ian eats the popcorn and is engulfed in the movie. He could honestly care less about it. He was content to watch Ian sip from his drink with those pouty pink lips and think about the way they would be wrapped around his cock. Fuck. It was to much. He had to adjust himself when the boy licked the salt off his fingers. He just wanted to press his lips against his saltiness and all but fucking Mandy. He sat there and thought back to the beginnig. He thought about how fun and exhilerating it was to have ian suck him off while his brother was in the store. The suspence was actually really fucking hot. He looked over at Mandy and flipped her off. She did nothing but shove a chip into her mouth and take a sip of her slurpie her focus now 100% on the movie. He slowly reached over and grabbed the popcorn from Ians lap and placed it on his. As expected Ian who was also glued to the screen went for a handful but nothing was there. He looked over at him.  
“What?” Mickey replied soflty and with a smile.  
Ian narrowed his eyes in confusion but grabbed the popcorn from the bucket now on his lap. He felt his heartbeat faster everytime Ian's hand reached into the bucket pressing down against his jeans. He watched as he licked his fingers again, his tongue moving over his wet lips. Fuck he was so hard, he just wanted Ians mouth on him. He wanted to fuck his face but he knew he couldn't do that here. He looked ian thoughtfully then set the popcorn on the floor. Ian reached down a few moments later and he grabbed his hand. They boy looked over at him eyes wide and full of questions. Mickey answered them in one swift motion. He unbottoned his jeans and guided Ian's hand inside his boxers. His hand was warm and soft as it rested on his shaft. Ian did nothing. He looked petrified. It was understandable because he was sitting right next to Mandy but that was part of the fun. He placed his hand over the boys and started moving it back and forth silently telling what he wanted. Slowly Ian wrapped his fingers around him and began to stroke him. His motions were timid and he could tell he was uncomfortable and that just made is so much hotter. He sucked his lower lip letting it slide between his teeth as the boys continued to jack him off. He was so hard and he needed more. He sank down in his seat and grabbing Ians hand. He reached into his boxers letting his cock spring free. They were in the top row so he wasn't worried about anyone seeing them and it was considerably dark in the theater. He moved Ian's hand back on to him and again moved it up and down. Ian took the hint and moved his hand firmly up and down his cock. The tip of his dick was wet with pre cum and now its was sliding down the side. The once timid motions were more guided now and ian moved his hand faster and faster. Fuck. Mickey felt like he was going to die holding back every sigh and moan. He began chewing on his lip the further he slipped into exstacy. He felt his balls tighten and swore he could taste blood in his mouth as he came to his climax. Ian's eyes were fixed on him, watching him squirm. He knew a part of the kid was enjoying this as much as he was when he pushed his hand away and Ian looked..almost annoyed.  
He put himself back into his boxers just in time for his release.  
“Fuck” he sighed loudly as hot sprurts of cum were painting the thin material.  
“Whats wrong with you?” his sister said and looked over at him.  
“Nothing just” he was trying to catch his breath “ I wan't exspecting that is all” he replied an pointed at the gisant screen.  
“yea I know it was pretty sad. I'm kinda mad. What about you Ian?”  
Ian looked between the two of them then grabbed the soda and took a drink  
“yea me neither” he replied.  
“Hopefully it gets better theres only like 30 min left” Mandy shrugged and sat back in her seat. He watched as Ian took a deep breath and sat back in his seat. He ran his hands over his legs and Mickey could tell he was nervous. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the candy. Sex and candy, his day was getting better and better.  
“Good boy Gallagher” he said soft enough so only Ian could hear. He threw the box of skittles at the boy. Ian fumbled to catch it before it hit the ground. Mickey shook his head at the boy and opened his snickers bar. He took a big bite and relished the taste of nuget and milk chocolate.  
“Mm thats sweet.” he whispered looking over at Ian. He reached out and grabbed his hand the resting ontop his leg and squeezed it firmly.  
“I like em sweet” he replied and licked his lips then released his hand. He was very happy to see Ian adjust himself and the look of lust and frustation in his eyes. He was a dirty boy. The kid tried to deny it but he was bad. It took awhile for him to embrace it but he liked everything he got. He was gonna fuck him so good, but for now he could sit there and be a good boy.  
  
****************************************************************************  
The movie could not have ended quick enough. He was so flustered it was unreal. How could Mickey make him do that? Did he not understand how dangerous it was? Mandy could have looked over at anytime and everything would have blown up. A part of him wished she did. He wished she knew what her brother was really capable of, that he was the one she talked down about so often. She didn't deserve that though. She needed Mickey to stay her protective older brother, the one who saved her from her father and would always be there for her, he couldn't take that away. He was also ashamed. God was he ashamed. As soon as his hand touched Mickeys smooth skin he was hard, so very fucking hard. He actually enjoyed the little bit of control he had in that moment, how fast or how slow he moved his hand , watching Mickey roll his eyes and bite his lip ..it was kinda sexy but fuck it was wrong. He shouldn't be forced to do these things he shoud just want to. His body wanted it, wanted all of it but he still found it hard to face himself. He felt dirty, just as he did now. Fuck he needed to get out of here. He needed to get away from Mickey and Mandy, so as soon as the credits rolled he jumped up from his seat and pushed past his best friend. He moved quickly through the crowd of people exciting the isle and made his way out of the dark theater. Two hours and 20 minutes, that's how long the movie was. His eyes took a moment to adjust to the light before eagerly searching for that familiar sign. He sighed in relief when he spotted the mens restroom. He walked swiftly to the door and pushed it open. He was greeted with cheesy music and bad flourescent lighting but he didn't care. He walked over to the sink and looked at himself in the mirror. He looked tired. He had restless sleep and the stress he was under was taking a toll on his face. He had dark circles forming under his eyes that were prominent on his pale skin. His face looked thinner too. He didn't relize his appetite had changed, he wasnt nearly a hungry as he used to be and most the time when he did eat he was to nervous because he was with Mickey and Mandy. Who are you? He tilted his head curiously to stare back at the stranger in his reflection. There were a few other people in the stalls but he didn't care if anyone said anything. He ran the water until is was ice cold and cupped his hands underneath the faucet. He raised the pool of water to his face letting the coolness take him over. He wiped his mouth with his shirt and returned his hands back to the sink to splash his face again, this time the water spilled down the front of his shirt. He was hoping the cold water against his freckled skin would wake him up. Hoping it would bring him back from the reality he was in, maybe give him a do over. Instead he was still staring at his reflection only now he was cold and the front of his shirt was drenched.  
“The fuck are you doing?” Micey voice echoed  through the restroom.  
“The soda went right through me so I had to piss. That alright with you?” he replied looking cautiosly at Mickey. He couldn't help that he was annoyed, the guy followed his everystep. Sex was one thing but he wasn't used to watching how he spoke, to being like this. Mickey glanced around the bathroom then back at him licking his lips. Ian could feel his palms began to sweat as he thought about what was going through the older mans mind.

“Well the way you stormed off got mandy askin a bunch of stupid fuckin questions. You know that don’t make me happy” Mickey replied.  
The 2 men that were in the stalls were now across from them at the other sinks washing their hands. He recieved an awkward glance from one man but the guy said nothing as he towled his hands and left, the other following behind him.  
"I'm sorry but honestly it's hard to keep track of what makes you happy"  
He looks down at the sink then back up at Mickey waiting for a reaction. Mickey strares at him briefly then he finds himself being pushed up against the stall door "You wanna know what would make me happy kid? It would make me happy if you would loose that fuckin attitude that's for damn sure."  
"Come on man I thought you liked my attitude. You can't get your kicks punishing me if I don't piss you off"  
Mickey lets out a bitter laugh, his blue eyes boring into him. Within seconds his hands are grapsing his shirt and he is being pushed into the stall and backed up against the wall. " the fuck did you just say to me Gallagher?" he snaps his hand meeting his face hard.  
"Come on Mickey I.. I was just kidding. I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry let's just go okay" he replies. He hates himself as he hears the shakiness in his voice but  doesn’t want to fight.  
"You were fucking kidding? Is that right" Mickey scoffs and rubs his nose with his knuckle. He watches as the guy turns to lock the stall door, then turns his attention back to him. Their bodys are practically touching in the small stall. Ian is squished awardly between the wall and the toilet. "Well" Mickey replies unbottoning his pants "we're not goin anywhere kid"  
He can feel his body reacting to Mickey's touch "What are you doing Mickey? I'm sorry please. I didn't me an any of it. I was only messing with you. Please Mandy is gonna wonder where we are"  
Mickey reached into his pants and grabbed his hard cock, running his thumb over the tip. The guy leaned forward and pressed his lips against his ear “Let her fucking wonder then. I want you”  
Fuck he was feeling hot. The soft warm touch of Mickeys lips grazing his neck was making his head spin.  
“Turn around” Mickey demanded his soft tone replaced with a firm one.  
Ian glanced at his position and relized turning around would be difficult. After several moment of scooting and stepping over himself he was now facing the wall with Mickey pressed against his back.  
Mickey kissed the back of his neck and moved his hands down his back linginering at the waistline of his pants. Suddenly there was a burst of cool air runing over his body as Mickey pulled his pants down. He felts firm hands massaging his ass cheeks and moving down his thigh.  
“Hmm” he sighed as he drifted into the boys touch.  
“look at you. You want me to fuck you dont you?” Mickey whispered in his ear , leaning his head against the wall so that blue eyes met with green.  
“Please” he said , his body riddled with nerves and aticipation.

He didn't even hesitate as mickeys hands pulled down his boxers.  
“Please what?” Mickey replied smugly and licked his lips. His hands were stroking him and his body was pressing him hard into the wall.  
“Please fuck me Mickey. Please” he sighed.  
“That would make you happy wouldn’t it” Mickey replied and reached down caressing his thighs with his hands, then spreading his cheeks. He heard a sucking sound then felt Mickeys finger enter him  
“Shit” he gasped and leaned his face against the cold wall. Mickey swirled his finger back and forth before adding another one. Ian was coming undone under his touch as he tickled his prostate.  
“Fuck me” He moaned as the feeling led him wanting more. He wanted Mickey to fuck him and give him that release his body was craving.  
“Yea?” Mickey said softly and pulled out his fingers.  
“Your a fucking slut kid look at you. You want me to turn you out in this fucking public bathroom don't you? Wanna feel me to fuck you hard while my sister wonders where we are..that what you want Ian?”  
Ian sighed a deep breath because it was all true, he didn't care. He wanted it now, Mickey had done something to his body and now it craved his touch.  
“Yes. That's what I want Mickey please”  
The older man laughed and moved his body from his.  
“Too bad kid. Maybe next time you'll watch your fucking mouth when you talk to me” he replied and turned to unlock the door.  
“Wait what? “ Ian snapped in annoyence.  
“Get your shit together man. Mandys waiting” Mickey replied shutting the door behind him. He heard the water run and the sound of the paper towel dispenser, then the door closed.  
“What the fuck?” Ian yelled and punched the wall.  
“Shit” he grabbed his hand, he was fine but it fucking hurt. Now what was he supposed to do? He was hard as a rock and horny as hell, he couldn't just walk outside like that. Fuck he hated Mickey. He hated him so much. Here he was feeling, useless and dirty in a shitty theater bathroom. He felt like trash when he thought about how badly he wanted to get fucked. he would have gotten down on his knees right there for Mickey if he'd asked him too. His body and Mickey's body had become electric together. Once he had given in to the man and become his....idk whatever he was, the sex was amazing. He hated it only because of how it happened and who it was with but he coud not deny Mickey's touch now did things to his body he never thought possible. It was a constant struggle and now here he was moving his hand down to his hard cock as he thought about that same pair of blue eyes he hated. He thought about lips wrapped around him and hands roughly pulling  his waist.  
“Hmm fuck” he moaned softly as he came in the toilet. He grabbed some toilet paper and wiped of his hand before pulling up his pants. He walked back over to the mirror just to find his reflection judging him again. Fucking whore that's all you are all you are good for now. His reflection glared at him so he flipped it off and dried his hands. He just wanted to go home again to his safe space. He wanted to smoke weed and tune out the world with music under the covers. That's all he wanted. Too bad the day wasn't even close to over.


	16. Stupid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey thinks about his..whatever he has with ian. Terry Milkovich is an asshole and Mickey breaks one of his biggest rules.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to focus more on Mickey pov so we can see his thought process, not as a means for justification but just to see how he ticks. I hope you enjoy. Working in next chapter now xoxo
> 
> PS jessica i love you and you are a rockstar . my own personal Mandy! xoxo

He was silent on the walk back to the house. Ian had met them outside a few minutes after he left him in the restroom. When Mandy asked what took so long he just said he had to make make a phone call and that satisfied her. Ian walked swiftly passed him, avoiding his gaze and wrapping his arm lovingly around his sisters waist. They began having an in depth conversation about the movie he didn't even try to watch. Ian would occasionally look back at him but then he moved his attention back to Mandy. He honestly had never felt more like third wheel and it was bugging him. What did he care if he wasn't included in their stupid conversation anyways? He didn't..not really. He was still annoyed at the way Ian spoke to him earlier. His words were playing back in his head as he puffed on his smoke. To be honest the whole thing took him by surprise. He had almost convinced himself what they had was normal. That it was maybe something, but when the boy spoke it was like a slap in the face back to reality. The last few months after Ian admitted he was his, once he finally gave him full control things had been...well less complicated. He did whatever he said without a fight. They had amazing sex because Ian had given himself over to him and it was unlike anything he had ever experienced. It was like their bodies were made for each other and for that brief moment he could make Ian feel something genuine. He could give him pleasure and his reaction was anything but fake, like the rest of his actions. It was easy to get confused, to think of it as anything more than just and act that he had forced Ian into. The kid was a good actor, only showing a tell every now and then. They spent all their time together, whether at work or with Mandy. He had even become friends with Ian's sister so he could see the more domestic side of his life. It was weird seeing him as a big brother just like he was. He would sit there and drink coffee chatting with Fiona while she busied around getting the kids prepared for school. Ian would run around the house helping her make lunches and make sure his siblings were ready before ushering them out the door, following close behind. He enjoyed his time with the kid even though Ian hated it. He knew he hated it but he couldn't blame him. Ian had hated him from the very beginning. He thought back to the first time they worked together. He was immediately impressed by the boys work ethic. He was early to his shift by 5 minutes and when he got there he was smiling wide and his eyes were filled with excitement. The kid was like a fucking puppy at the park. They would have short conversations that would leave him smiling inside even if he still acted brash. There was a time when the kid had a glint is his eye when he spoke to him that was from something other than fear. Sure he loved the rush he got when Ian stood before him with look of confusion and fear in his eye but it was nothing compared to when he looked at him in the beginning, back before Mickey messed it all up and had a taste of anger filled adrenaline from a crushed ego. Now he was addicted to the power, the control, the fear and any hope he had of taking a hit from Ian was now just a passing thought.

Mandy's voice trickled into his thoughts causing him to look up from the crack in the side walk he was stepping over interrupting his thoughts.

“I don't know why but I'm fucking starving. You hungry? Hello? Earth to Mickey?”

Ian and Mandy were now staring at him. Mandy's arms were crossed across her chest as she stood there studying him with her eyes.

He drew his brows together and tossed tossed his cigarette on the ground “The fuck are you looking at?” he replied.

“I said I'm hungry. We should get something to eat”

Mickey lifted his shoulders in a half shrug “and?”

“We should get some food”

“ you didn't stuff enough food in your face back at the theater?” he looked over at Ian, searching his face for an answer to the question he asked his sister. The boy's eyes lingered on his for a moment before he averted them , staring at the cars passing by as they stood there on the sidewalk.

“Whatever fine we'll get some food but can I smoke some fucking weed first?” he looked over at Mandy.

“That alright with you hmm?”

Mandy flipped him off and gave him a lopsided smile before turning her attention back to Ian.

 

“Bitch” he mumbled and continued to walk staring at boy in front of him his thoughts circleing until they resided in the same spot.

He should have expected the attitude after this morning. Ian was clearly in a mood today because he'd gone so long without incident. In his twisted little mind it was actually starting to feel like they were in a relationship. I mean they were but it wasn't real was it? No it wasn't because if Ian was given the choice he would run. He would run far away from him without looking back. The thought of loosing Ian to choice made him sad but anger was the emotion that controlled him the most. He had gone from having no control over his life to completely controlling someone elses. He could never explain the high he felt every time he got his way with Ian. It was breathtaking. Honestly he tried to do nice things. He invited him to the fucking movies, bought him food and candy even though the brat said he didn't want it and what does he get in return. Fucking attitude that's what. Fuck him. Why was he reading into it so much, he didn't care if the kid was happy, this whole thing wasn't about Ian being happy it was about him being happy. He pulled out another smoke and pressed to his lips before increasing his pace so that he was next to Ian. The boy didn't seem to notice his presence still engaged in conversation with his sister. Ian would nod and smile talking with his hands. He looked happy and animated in the moment but Mickey could tell he was upset. Leaving him in the bathroom was hard even for him. He'd wanted to touch that warm body and freckled skin since he appeared in his doorway this morning. He lit up his cigarette as and glanced up at Ian.

“Ay red you want one?” he held a smoke out to him and waited for his reaction. The boy chewed on his bottom lip for a moment then quickly reached out and grabbed it.

“Thanks man” he said and looked away. Mickey wanted to say something more but he couldn't. He walked next to him occasionally nodding his head at the conversation so he wouldn't seem so weird. They finally approached his house and he sighed in relief. He needed to fucking smoke some weed and quite his mind. He watched as Ian causally ran up the stairs after Mandy. His hair was glowing in the reflection of the sun and his green eyes were vibrant even if they were filled with sadness. His mouth drawn upwards in a smile hiding back the pain. He was exquisite..fuck. He could at least admit to that, that didn't really mean anything. So what if he thought the kid was beautiful. Fuck he doesn't say beautiful that word was for fags. He was...intoxicating, a bundle of emotions and energy wrapped in the most delicious package. He drew in deeply on his cigarette and leaned against the bottom of the steps staring up at the sky. What was happening to him? Why did he keep overthinking everything? It was so much easier to be mean, to be fearful and controlling. It came naturally to him. This..these thoughts they were unnatural. These aren't the kind of thoughts Mickey Milkovich had. Fuck. He needed to get high and off more than just weed. He needed to wash the softness from his mind and his heart away with another dose of control, of fear the thing he knew he could have.

 

He tossed his smoke on the ground and ran up the stairs. Ian and Mandy were sitting on the couch. The house was already filled with the earthy aroma of weed smoke.

“Here” Mandy said after she took a hit off the joint.

He drew in a long hit letting the smoke fill is lungs then passed the joint to Ian and sat down on the couch.

After a few rounds with the joint he looked lazily over at his sister “So you wanna get some food or somethin?”

“pizza sounds fucking bomb” she crossing her legs on the couch and grabbing her phone

“Where should we order from”

He sat up from the couch reaching under him to grab his wallet. It was time for a new wallet...past time. The leather was split and change was falling from areas where the seams had worn away. Whatever. He grabbed out two 20s and handed them to his sister.

“Fuck all that go to Phil's and get us some calzones”

Mandy played with her cellphone before she looked up at him “Thats like across town”

“So” he grabbed another 10$ from his wallet and handed it to her.

“get something to drink or what ever and take the train.”

she look up at him and pursed her lips together. Christ he just wanted to be alone with Ian. He needed it.

“It's not even that fucking far Mandy. It's like 20 min tops.”

he rubbed his nose and cocked his head “ you want fucking food or not cause that's your choice. You don't wanna go give me back my fucking money. Otherwise shut the fuck up and get outta here”

“Ugh your such a douche bag” Mandy snapped as she rose from the couch slipping her phone into her back pocket. She looked over at Ian “You're coming with me right?”

He watched Ian's eyes dart quickly between them being sure to send him a look that said stay.

“I'm to high to function right now Mands” the boy said apologetically.

“Seriously! Ugh. You know what..fuck you both” she shouted and walked over to the door. She stopped long enough to flip them off then slammed the door behind her.

 

As soon as the door was closed the room filled with tension. It was thick in the air and Mickey found himself choking on it as he tried to think of what to say. He looked over at Ian who was staring at his hands.

“what's on your mind?”

Ian laughed and looked at him, his eyes were now dark and tired since he had no reason to pretend.

“Nothing Mickey. I'm fine” he replied and turned his body away from him to look at the wall.

He knew that was a lie but it would be pointless to ask him what was wrong. It was him. He ran his hand through his hair and scooted closer to Ian so that he was practically on top of him, pushing his body into the corner of the couch. He thought maybe if he explained his reasoning to him that the kid would be less likely to fuck up again. Then he could be happy..or at least pretend to be.

He grabbed Ian's hand causing the boys body to tense.

“Ian look at me”

The kid slowly turned to his head so that their eyes met.

He wasn't going to apologize because Ian knew the rules and he broke them so he had nothing to be sorry for right? Yea. He just wanted him to know what not to do next time. He wanted to remind him again that he needed to be a good boy so then he wouldn't have to punish him.

“You know you can't fucking talk to me like that right? that's somethin I've made clear to you.”

Ian stayed silent but nodded his head.

“Then why do it? Why can't you just behave, instead of making me mad at you?”

Ian looked up to the ceiling a tear ran down his cheek and he wiped his eye with his palm still averting his gaze.

Damn it, he hated this shit. The kid was so fucking emotional, it was like he was always on the verge of falling apart. He didn't use to be this way.

“Don't fuckin cry man” Mickey reached up and grabbed his face turning it towards him. His eyes were puffy and red as another tear escaped..fuck. He stared at him for a moment then pulled his face down into a kiss the saltiness lingering on his lips. He could feel the tension slip from the boys body as his tongue circled around his mouth. He ran his hand through his red hair slowly letting the strands linger between his fingers.

“Fuck Ian” he panted into his mouth as his other hand reached down to caress the boys thigh.

“You're so fucking sexy kid. You just don't don't understand what you fucking do to me. You make me fucking crazy”

It was true, he mad his crazy, down right insane sometimes. He never wanted someone as much as he wanted Ian. He needed him, all of him all the time. He was his.

He moved himself so that he was straddling him, his hands pressed firmly into the couch on either side of Ian's head. He unbuttoned the boys flannel moving his hand under his grey shirt. He could feel Ian's chest rise at his touch. He undid the boys jeans and moved his hand beneath his boxers gripping him firmly.

 

“uh” Ian sighed at the contact.

“mm hmm” Mickey replied and planted a kiss on his collarbone as he moved his hand rhythmically along the boys shaft squeezing and pumping.

“fuck Mickey” Ian sighed breathlessly and looked up at him with want.

“You gonna be a good boy for me Gallagher? Hmm?” He purred softly in his ear causing the boys freckled skin to radiate with goosebumps.

Ian stayed silent but nodded his head and promises with his eyes .

“mm OK then”

He scooted down off the couch so that he was kneeling on the floor in front of the boy. Ian held his gaze as he pulled the boys hard cock out of his boxers and licked a strip across his swollen head with his tongue.

“mmm” Ian licked his lips and his body relaxed back into the couch. Mickey squeezed his shaft moving his hand up and down before letting his pink lips slide over the tip . He let the boys hardness fill up his mouth as his tongue traced around him.

Ian let out a desperate moan as his wet lips slid up and down his length .

“so good” ian panted and moved his hands on top of his head. He let the boy push his head down until his dick was tickling the back of his throat. He continued to swallow Ian's cock the best he could. The boy was staring down at him. His hands were now fists in his hair as he sucked him down.

“Mickey I..I'm gonna cum” Ian breath hitched at the words and he felt the warm liquid hitting the back of his throat. He pulled his mouth off slowly with a loud pop.

“Fuck Gallagher you taste so good” he replied licking his lips. Ian's eyes lingered on him momentarily then he slouched back into the couch buttoning up his jeans and putting his dick away.

“Aye cmere” Mickey said rising from the floor and sitting next to him.

Ian turned to meet his gazed and he latched his lips on to him. His hand was pressed up against his warm face and he could feel Ian hand lightly holding his side. Fuck kissing him was almost as good as sucking him off, for some reason he couldn't get enough. He bit the boys bottom lip letting it graze between his teeth before he pulled away away.

“Where the fuck is Mandy I'm starving”

“Maybe she missed the train” Ian said softly and reached over to grab his cigarettes pulling one out.

“fuck..maybe, either that or she's just bein fucking slow” he replied snatching his pack from ians hands and grabbing one for himself.

He stood there leaning against the couch waiting for his sister to come home when he heard the door close.

“Bout fucking time bitch Jesus” he said turning around.

“Who you calling a bitch son?” his dad laughed and carried his case of beer over to the kitchen table setting it down violently.

“Thought you was gonna be out of town with Jamie?” Mickey said walking over to the table and grabbing 2 beers from the box.

"Goddamn Mickey there any fucking food in this house? I'm fucking starved" his dad said slamming the door to the fridge.

"there would be if i wasn't paying the fuckin bills." he replied sitting down next to Ian and handing him a beer. "Mandy went to get somethin though should be back soon"

"You giving me attitude boy?" He said grabbing a beer. He looked over at Ian. "What the fuck you giving the whole neighborhood my fucking beer for?"

" No just telling you why we aint got no food" he turned round to look at terry who was now sitting at the table drinking his beer Relax its one fucking beer" he could smell the stench of alcohol coming from his dad when he came through the door" not like you need more anyways"

"Better watch your fucking mouth. This is my house. Like you said you don't pay the fucking bills I do. My shit pays for this fucking house. You wanna be out on your ass? Keep sassing me and you will. Now where the fuck is Mandy"

Mickey stands up from the couch "you know what dad I do pay the fucking bills. I'm the only one with a fucking job" he said taking a swig of his beer and slamming it down in the table. "and i don't know where the fuck she is" he snapped. he felt eyes on him and glanced over at Ian who was just staring at him absently " don't fucking stare at me like that asshole fucking call her" he said waiving his hands in frustration

"yea OK" Ian replied softly and pulled out his phone to call his sister

"Wow boy you got your own fuckin yes man. He must be an even bigger pussy than you are." He turned his glare on Ian "What did he do kid huh. What would make you want to obey a piece of shit like Mickey anyways"

"I don't know what your talking about." Ian answered playing with the phone in his hands. "Shut up Ian you font have to answer to him" he replied then walked over to the kitchen table. "Can we not do this dad" he said looking his dad square in the face. He wasn't in the mood for a fight and he knew it would end that way

"Let get one thing straight" He said getting in Mickey's face "You don't fucking tell me what to do. You got your little pet for that. Now fuck off out of here I'm tired of looking at your ugly mug."

Mickey was about to say something when he heard the door open. "Sorry my phone was on silent for some reason Ian so i missed your call." she closed the door behind her "How about next time you want something Mickey from across town you go get it your dam self"

"Where the fuck have you been? I have been sitting here starving. Maybe next time you should hurry your ass instead of making me wait. The bitch is right Mickey next time don't send a woman to do shit. They fuck up everything. No wonder your mother killed herself. She couldn't even do fucking drugs right"

OK. He did not just fucking say that. He couldn't have heard him right. Bringing up his mom like that the nerve. He turned around fast and punched his dad hard in the face causing him to fall back against the table.

"You little fucker" he said walking over to Mickey. He grabbed him by the shirt and head butt him splitting his lip.

"Leave him alone" Mandy yelled as she ran towards him but Ian wrapped his long arms around her holding her back. Mickey got his bearings and spit the blood from his mouth on the floor. "Fuck you you piece of shit" he yelled and charged back at his dad landing a fist to his gut.

"You think you're a fucking man boy?" He punched Mickey across the face. "You're nothing. You mean nothing" He punched him in the gut "You boy are a pathetic, worthless piece of shit.” He uppercut Mickey onto the couch. "Fucking look at you. You're nothing but a pussy. You should have learned that by now. Good thing I'm here to fucking teach you" his dad said smugly.

Mickey felt the room spinning but tried to focus. He reached his hand out to the table and grabbed the the glass ashtray from the table. The weight was heavy in his hands but he grabbed is firmly and swung his arm upward smacking his dad on the side of the head causing him to fall to his feet unconscious.

“Fuck Mickey” Mandy shouted and ran over to her dad. She gets on knees and put her head to his chest.

“Hes still breathing” she sighs.

“like I fucking care” Mickey snaps standing up from the couch. He struggles for a moment to gain his footing.

“Are you OK Mi..”

“don;t say a fucking word Gallagher” he says sticking his hand out to quiet the boy.

“Mickey!” Mandy snapped “don't talk to Ian like that”

“Fuck off Mandy” he replies flipping her off as he walks over to the sink. Drops of crimson splash against the cool steel as he turns on the faucet. He washes the blood from his face the towels off, throwing the soiled towel into the trash. He steps over his fathers body and goes into the bathroom to check out the damage. Not to bad, he had been through much worse. Some ice and some alcohol and he would be good as new. He couldn't believe that fucking prick coming in like he was something special. He wasn't shit. Mickey paid the bills, he took care of Mandy and made sure she ate everyday. He was the one with the steady paycheck not the asshole. He walked out of the bathroom and kicked his dad in the stomach “Prick”

'We can't just leave him there” Mandy complained.

“Why the hell not?” Mickey groused knowing what this was leading too.

“I don't want him to wake up out here Mickey. Come on, just help me drag him to the room.

“Fine. Yo Ian, get your ass over here man” he said and gestured for the redhead. The three of them were able to move Terry to the floor of his bedroom and Mickey shut the door.

“I'm fucking done with this shit” Mickey replied walking over to the table and pulling out 2 beers. He grabbed a grocery bag and stuffed them inside.

“Come on we're leaving” he said grabbing his jacket from the hook on the door.

“What? Where are you going?” Mandy replied as she swallowed a mouth full of food.

“none of your fucking business” he snapped grabbing his cigarettes and phone from the table, shoving their food into the bag.

“lets go”

Ian starts to get up from the couch when Mandy grabs his arm.

“What the hell Ian? Why do you gotta go cause Mickey has a stick up his ass?”

Mickey raised his hand to his face in annoyance then looked at his sister “You really need to mind your own fucking business Mandy.” he replied his voice is low and dark.

“fuck Mickey relax it was just a question. It's just like you stole my best friend is all”

That made him laugh. He was fucking around with Ian before he became her best friend.

“What so funny?” she said curiously and looked up at Ian.

“it's nothing Mands. I have to go home anyways gotta be up early for school”

“Whatever man” Mandy sighed and pulled her legs up on the couch. She rolled her eyes then went back to eating her calzone. They left out the door. It was cold outside as they walked down the street.

“where are we going Mickey?” Ian said his voice was shaky from the cold air.

“Just shut up you'll see when we get there”

“i really should get home it....it's kinda cold out here and I do have school” the boy said softly. Mickey looked over and saw Ian didn't have a jacket. His arms were wrapped tightly around him as he shivered in the cold Chicago night.

“Christ kid here” he took of his jacket and handed to the boy. Ian looked at him blankly.

“Fucking take it. You're not goin home and you're shaking like a goddamn leaf”

Ian took the jacket and put it on. It was a bit small but it was better than nothing. They walked in silence the sounds of the neighborhood filling the void of conversation between them.

It took about 10 min before they arrived at the high school.

“What are we doing here?” Ian looked over at him curiously.

“We're going to night school, the fuck Ian? Just follow me” he said as they walked through the empty parking lot and over to the baseball field. The came to the dugout and he passed the bag over to Ian.

“Hold this” he said then started climbing the fence. When he reached the top he extended his arm down to grab the bag. Ian handed it to him and followed his lead climbing up the fence. They both jumped down, there feet landing with a thud on the the dirt floor.

Mickey pulled a beer out of the bag and walked over to the bench.

“Cmere” he gestured to Ian who walked up behind him. He stabbed the beer with his knife and popped tab

“Shotgun” he said letting the cool liquid squirt into his mouth. He pulled Ian close with his free hand then moved the can to his mouth. Ian grabbed the can and his hand simultaneously letting the beer spray down his throat.

“Fuck” the boy coughed as the liquid filled his mouth.

Mickey laughed and and pulled the can from his face, letting the kid catch his breath. Ian wiped his mouth with his hand and the front of his face was covered in beer.

He looked over at him and laughed causing Mickey to laugh. It was stupid he had no reason to laugh but something about Ian's smile and his laughter was contagious. They leaned against the fence and stared out into the baseball field.

“Fuck Red. Today has been a crazy fucking day” he says and looks over at Ian. He looked quite cute standing next to him in his jacket, his long arm extending past the end of the sleeve.

"Yea your dad is pretty intense. Doesn't seem like a complete day on the south side without a little blood being spilled"

Mickey buried his hands in his hair he didn't want to have this conversation. He didn't want a reminder that his father was an asshole he fucking knew that. " he can be crazy some times it's nothing fucking new OK. " he pulled a cigarette from his pack..fuck he needed to stop and get more he only had 5 left. Probably from chain smoking on the walk from the theater. He placed it between his lips and lit it turning his focus to Ian. "so your sister says your skipping school man. What's up with that?"

"Haven't felt like goin" he shrugged his shoulders " Frank can be a bastard too. Dad's..am i right?"

Mickey rubbed his knuckles with his nose "yea dads whatever. You know it's fucking stupid if your trying to do all that army shit grades are important. You don't wanna be another highschool drop out. Trust me i know" he replied passing the cigarette to Ian.

The boy took it and inhaled deeply "It's the fucking south side man. I don't really think me skippin a couple classes is gonna do much difference. If anything I can always enlist. Why you so concerned. It's not really your business." he paused for a moment to take another drag. "So your dad... does he ever like hit Mandy?"

"Jesus Christ Ian fucking drop it OK" he snaps feeling the anger bubble inside of him." and you know what it is my business because your mine. I own you so watch your fucking mouth kid i mean it." he snatches the smoke from the boys mouth causing him to flinch.

"OK sorry I wasn't trying to piss you off. I just though you know...after everything that happened today...you I don't know would want to talk to someone"

Mickey rolled his eyes and cocked his head, his eyes meeting with Ian's "What u think were gonna lay out a blanket and look at shooting stars or somethin kid. I said fucking drop it"

"No couldn't see shooting stars anyways" he smirked "Um Terry called you some pretty harsh things. No wonder you want to beat his ass. I almost wanted to"

This fucking guy does not know when to quit. What the fuck did he know about anything? He felt his body get warm and then his hand were wrapped around Ian's shirt. He threw him into the bleachers across from him "i told you to leave it the fuck alone didn't i but you keep running your little mouth cause your fucking stupid aren't you?”

He see a familiar glint in the boys eye that he hadn't seen in sometime as he stands up straight and takes a step forward.

“Stupid! Fuck your dad was right. You're nothing but a pussy."

Really? Fuck no. Mickey was seeing red, as he clenched his fist. Ian's eyes changed immediately and he took a step backwards as if realizing he fucked up “Shit Mickey I'm sorry. I didn't mean it I..”

He doesn't think because he is too pissed off. He feels his fist collide with Ian's face then they are on the ground and into the grass.

“Who do you think you are kid? You're nothing” he says and hits him again.

“I'm sorry. I am please” Ian yells beneath him.

“You think you're a fuckin tough guy all of sudden is that it? Think that you can just start talking shit and nothing is gonna happen. The hells the matter with you?” grabbing his shirt bringing his face close to his.

Ian's eyes are squeezed shut and he sees the trail of tears crawling down his face. He lets go of his shirt and looks down at the boy. He looks terrified and he can tell he was going to have a black eye.

“Fuck” he yells and jolts up from the ground. He didn't want to do that. He saw red and it was over. He never wanted to punch him, that wasn't really his style anymore. What the hell was he doing? This kid was making crazy and he was already pretty fucked up to begin with. He ran his fingers threw his hair and looked down at Ian who is still huddled on the ground.

“Goddamn it” he shouts and bites his bottom lip. He walks over to the kid.

“I'm s..”

“Stop it. Come on get up” he says extending his hand to the scared boy. Ian grabs his hand and he pulls his him in close, wiping the tears from his eyes.

“I..” what was he gonna say? He wasn't going to say sorry. “I told you to shut up didn't I?” he says and raked his fingers through Ian's messy hair, picking out a blade of grass.

Ian nodded and looked down at the ground.

“Ay look at me” Mickey said and grabbed his face. “You're not stupid” he said and kissed him. Ian returned the kiss dutifully letting Mickey wrap his arms around his waist. Their tongues still tangled he gently guides Ian back down onto the grass. He moves his hands too Ian's shirt pulling it over his head.

He kisses his neck and lets his tongue trace circles over his collar bone then down his chest. He looked angelic , his pale skin reflected the moonlight and he lay under him in the grass. He looked up at him and kissed his chest. He rolled off of him so that they were laying next to each other. He unzipped his pants and kicked the off along with his boxers.

“Take off you pants” he whispered turning in his side to face him. Ian's eyes lit up and he unbuttoned his jeans. Now Ian was naked and he was pants less in the midden of the dark field.

“Get up here” he said reaching over to pull Ian towards him.

Ian rose from the ground and crawled over to him, climbing onto of him. His dick was already semi hard as it lay on his chest. Mickey was ready. He reach down between Ian's legs and stroked himself.

“I want you to ride it” he said glancing up at the boy through his lashes.

“OK” Ian replied and lifted him self so that he was positioned above his hard cock. He sat down slowly letting Mickey slide into him gently filling him up.

“Fuck Mickey” he gasped when he was fully seated.

He ass was so tight wrapped around him and now green eyes were string down at him.

“go on” he coaxed and ran his hand up Ian's stomach.

Ian nodded and slowly began to roll his hips.

“holy shit, so fucking tight Ian” he moans as the boy begins to ride him.

“uh ..yes..fuck” Ian's voice floats through the nights as he rolls his eyes and sucks in his lip.

“You're a sexy little bitch kid” Mickey sighs as he thrust to meet ins rhythm.

“You know that though don't you? I know you fucking do.”

“mm.fuck..uh..hm yes.fuck” he cries as he bounce up and down on his cock.

Mickey is entranced as he stares up at the boy riding him in the grass in the middle of a baseball field, the moonlight shining on them like a spotlight, Ian being the star. He was so god damn perfect when he did what he was told. He rand his hands up his soft sides bringing them around to cradle his back.

“That's so good. You're such a good boy” he panted

“Please” Ian moaned and tilted his head back. Mickey knew what he wanted and reached down to stroke him. He dick was hard as a rock and it bouncing in a small puddle of precome that escaped from the tip.

“Fuck” he sighed as he ran his hand fiercely up and down his shaft

Ian tilted his head back down and now their eyes were glued together, his mouth was hanging open but no sound was coming out only hard breathing.

“Come for me you dirty boy” Mickey coaxed and squeezed his shaft pumping harder as Ian's bounced up and down on his dick.

“Mickey..uh..yes..Mickey” he gasped as he thrust harder into him chasing his own release.

He couldn't hold on anymore the sound of Ian cries were to much mixed with the increasing tightness of his ass as the boy prepared for his own climax.

“Shit” he cried and came hard in the boys ass.

“Fuck” Ian cried right after filling his hand with hot cum.

The boy rolled off of him onto the grass and tried to steady his breathing.

“Christ kid, you can ride a dick like a fucking pro” he sighed taking a deep breath and sitting up. He used his boxers to wipe the cum off his chest and through them into the grass sliding his pants on.

He rolled over and looked at Ian who was still breathing heavily but staring up at the sky. He leaned in and kissed him. “Come on. One more beer then you can go home”

Ian looked over at him then glanced back up to the sky.

“K”

He watched the boy take a deep breath and pull on his boxer and his pants before standing up from the grass.

He could see the bruise forming on the boys beautiful face and it pissed him off. He wanted to kick his own ass for breaking his rules. There was nothing he could do about it now. He had gotten his point across hopefully but still he felt bad. They walked over to the bleaches and mickey grabbed the other beer and stabbed it. This time he held it to ians face first so when he pulled away he could take the rest of it. He threw the can on the ground and reached into the bad for his calzone.

“I'm so fucking hungry. You hungry?”

“sure” Ian said plainly before sinking to the ground. Mickey sank down next to him and handed him his food.

“Crazy fucking day kid.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	17. That's Impossible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one you've been waiting for i think ;).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jessica92 my beta my muse my mandy. LIke for real she was my mandy here. thank you for helping make this so raw and wonderful xoxo.
> 
> The store scene formatting is weird so sorry about that :)

Mandy woke up to the the sound of the shower running. She looked at the clock by her bed, ugh it was only 6am. Mickey had not returned back from wherever the fuck he went until like 12am so there was no way he was up already. She stood up from her bed and pulled on some pajama shorts and walked out into the hallway. Mickey's door was closed but not all the way. She pushed the door open enough to see her brother fast asleep sprawled out across his bed.

“asshole” she muttered to herself. This could only mean her dad was in the shower. God she did not want to deal with him this morning and Mickey would be leaving to go to work in a few hours. She walked back into her room kicking off her shorts and pulling on a pair of skinny jeans and a torn black tank top. She pulled her makeup bag out of dresser and stared into the mirrior thinking back to the events of last night. She was so lucky to have her brother here. She knew he didn't have to be. He had moved in to the apartment above the store but he still stayed over when Terry was around. Her dad was a piece of shit. He had done things no father should ever do and when she finally told Mickey she had to stop him from putting a bullet in his head. Her borther could be pretty scary sometimes but she loved him. They talked shit to each other and he was kinda mean to her but she knew how much he really cared when he took a fist to the face to protect her.

Things were ok now at home. Well they were not as bad as they used to. Now that she had Ian and Mickey around all the time she rarely had to worry about her dad. She was so glad she took the train that day to pick up Iggy or maybe she would have never met her best friend. Ian was a breath of fresh air on a dark day for her. She knew the moment she saw him sitting there acting all crazy with his headphones in, nodding his head that he was going to be her friend. At the time she thought boyfriend but now she knew that was impossible. She laughed as she slipped on her shoes thinking back to when they first hung out together. The kid had so much to say abut ROTC and his family and music it was unlike anything she had seen before, to be honest he was hard to keep up with. Her family was quiet and didn't really joke around unless they were high or drunk. Ian seemed to just be naturally happy and full of life.....or at least he did. Something had changed in her best friend. He wasn't the same person she met almost a year ago, he was darker. It was almost like the happiness the dreams the things that made ian who he was were gone, leaving by hind a shell of who he once was. She knew he was in trouble but the kid refused to tell her anything. He always kept her at arm length with the same 3 words. _“It's complicated Mandy”_ She rolled her eyes because the words echoed in her mind everytime she saw somethng was wrong. When his mood would shift or she saw a mark that wasn't there before, she had learned not to say anything for fear of those 3 words.

 

She grabbed her jacket, scarf and purse from behind her door. Mickey's smokes were on the kitchen table, he only had 2 left but he worked at a fucking store so she grabbed them anyways. She opened the door and stepped out into the fall morning, the sun shiningg bright in her eyes and she walked down the steps.

She figured she would see what Ian was up too, maybe walk him to school. She had not been able to spend much time with him lately and the time they did spend together he was..well he was weird. He was jumpy and quiet. It was the guys he seeing and refused to leave. She lit up a cigarete and shook her head as she thought about her best friend. She started noticing a change around the same time she noticed the marks. The first time he brought up this guy to her he was still on the fence about him. He said they weren't together, that he wasn't his boyfriend, He still had some fight in him then. The second time she brought him up after he showed up at her house in the middle of the night. She told him he needed to leave him but again was met with the same 3 words she hated, _“It's complicated”_ this time they came out more broken and less sure. She knew he had given up when he met him at the park and he talked about running away. She pointed out the marks on his wrists and he tried to brush it off, when she pressed furthur he lost it. He ran away from her shutting him out again. Since that day it seemed they kept growing further apart while he and her brother became closer. She should have known that would happen. They worked together, he proabbaly noticed the same things and was hanging out with Ian so he didn't have to see this guy. She smiled at the thought as she climbed the stairs to the Gallgher house. Maybe Ian had told her brother and that's why he was so close with him. Mickey had snapped at her way more then he used to ever since the 3 of them had started hanging out together. She thought he was just being a dick but if Ian had told him his secret maybe he had fallen into that little circle of people that Mickey would do anything for and he was just pissed off. She knew how it felt to be one of those people. Mickey wouldn't admit he cared so he was mean instead but if someone said a bad word about you or looked at you the wrong way he would pounce. It was all starting to make sense now.

 

She knocked on the front door to the Gallagher house and heard the sound of muffled voices. Ian opened the door with a look of suprise on his face.

“Hey Mandy” he smiled and gestured for her to come inside.

As she walked into the kicthen she couldn't help but notice his face. It looked like he had a bruise.. No her eyes were fucking with her, it was probably just the spots from the sun. She leaned against the wall and watched as he scurried around the kitchen cleaning up the mess from breakfast.

“So uh what you doing here” he said as he put the milk in the fridge and a pan with stuck on eggs from the stove in the sink.

“Thought i'd walk you to school that ok? We didn't really get to hang out last night”

Ian scratched his head “yea I know last night was kinda crazy” he looked up at her and smiled before clearing the rest of the dishes on the counter into the sink.

Nope she was not misktaken. She stood up straight and walked over to him grabbing his face. The motion cause him to jerk away, but she brough her hand softly to his face and pulled him back. Just as she thought he had a black eye. She had seen enough herself to know.

“What hell Ian? Who hit you?” she yelled.

The boys eyes widened and he cocked his head over to the next room where his sister and older brother were getting the kids ready.

“I got into a fight on my way to your house yesterday” he replied.

Mandy was in aw. Did he really think she was that stupid? Why was he lying to her?

“Ian I was with you all day yesterday. That happened after you..”

“Mandy shut up ok. That's what they know, alright I don't want them to worry so just be quiet” he whispered harshly.

She understood. Clearly his family was oblivious to what was going on, believing his stupid excuses.

“Fine, but we're not done here Ian” she said and walked back over to the wall. She watched as her best friend finished cleaning the kitchen, his eyes glancing up at her every couple of minutes.

“alright i'm done. Just gotta grab a few thinks from up stairs then we can go”

“i just gotta grab some thing from upstairs then we can go”

“Ok” she said and sat down at the table. She heard his footsteps run up the stairs and buried her hands in her face. He needed to talk to her, maybe she couldnt stop what was hapening but she could tell it was killing him, changing him to not have anyone to talk to. Didn't he trust her? She had confided in him, maybe she needed to go deeper to tell him something that made him feel like she could keep a secret. Stupid boys, always making shit harder than it has to be. She was sitting at the table playing on her phone when she heard a boys voice.

“Uh hey Mandy”

She looked up to see Ian's brother Lip standing there with his backpack and two little kids.

“Hi Lip” she smiled. She had deevelped a crush on Ians older brother from the first time he brought her to his house. Lip was sitting on his couch with some dumb blonde laughing and smoking a joint then he turned and smiled at her. She felt her heart melt at that moment and knew she was in love.

“You waitin for Ian?”

“Yea. Gonna walk him to school” she said and stood up from the table walking over to him. She touched his arm and tilted her head flirtaaiously her eyes focused on his.

“ how bout you ?”

Lip coughed nervously and back away from her. “Gonna pick up my girlfriend then drops these rugrats off at school.”

“Oh” she said flatly and sat bck down on the chair. Lips eyes lingered on her as if expecting more but she had dedcided to ignore him now, She was done waisting her time for now. She had bigger things to worry about.

“Well have a good day”

“Whatever” she replied and twirled her hair. He closed the door and she let out the breath she had been holding resting her head on the table.

“Mandy?” she looked up and saw Fiona staring at her.

“Hi” she replied, stariting herself up in her chair.

“ you waitn for Ian?”

Why was everyone asking that? Why else would she be here?

“yea”

Fiona poured them both a cup of coffee and sat down across from her.

“Thanks” she replied as she grabbed the cup of morning goodness. She didn't even think about how much she wanted coffee until the sultry scent floated into her nose.

“You and Ian are pretty close right? Best friends?” Fiona looked at her, her eyes were tired and she look nervous.

“Uh yea we are..why?”

“Well when you brother was here I talked to him and he didn't notice anything, said it was normal but I..”

“Wait? Mickey was here? When?” That made no sense. Mickey didn't just go to peoples houses and visit. He was a loner kinda like her but way more so. He didn't do social at all unless it involved selling drugs.

“Yea Mickey's here all the time. We have coffee and talk just like we are now. Anyway i”

“but why?” Mandy replied and looked at Fiona curiously.

The girl blushed and played with her coffee cup. “I don't really know why but it's nice.” she said softly.

Wow ok. So maybe Mickey had a crush. That made sence. That could be way he wanted to walk Ian home so he could see his sister. Oh my god this was so cute! She was gonna give him such a hard time now that she knew his dirty little secret. Mandy smiled at the girl across from her.

“I get it..what were you saying about Ian?”

“Yea he's been acting weird for long time now, it started off as him bein moody and snapping at everyone but then one day he just closed up. He barely talks to use and he's never home. He keeps getting into fights with people. I just don't know what to do Mandy. Tell me it's not in my head. You are around him more than we are”

Mandy knew what was wrong. It was the same reason she was here. Some asshole had broken her best friend leaving behind nothing but a fake smile and bruises.

“No you're right he does seem different. He hasn't said anything to you?”

“Nothin”

she nodded her head “Don't worry Fiona. Ian is my beest friend, i'll try to get to the bottom of it ok” she said and grabbed the older girls hand.

“Thanks Mandy..”

“Alright Mands lets go” Ian said as he jumped down the last stair. Mandy smiled at Fiona then got up from the chair and grabbed Ian's hand.

“You know you take forever to get ready. What are you a girl?”

“Shut up” he said pushing her playfully out the door in front of him.

Mandy waited until they were to the street before she turned and punched Ian in the arm.

“Seriously Mandy! What the hell?” he said and rubbed his arm.

“I want answers now” she said and looked at him with her hands on her hips

“Answers about what?” Ian replied shoving his hands into the pocket of his hoodie.

She shook her head and stopped walking staring at him accusingly.

“What?” he replied and walked over to her.

“did I do something wrong? Do you not trust me anymore Ian?” she throws her purse down and sits on the curb of the sidewalk.

“What no Mandy. Of couse I trust you.” he said and sat down next to her.

“Then please Ian tell me what going on. Tell me who hit you”

“I can't” he said and started to get up but Mandy yanked him back down.

“Listen Ian, I care about you ok. I really do but if you don't tell me what is going on I swear I will kick your ass and never speak to you again, because I can't be friends with someone who doesnt trust me”

She was telling the truth. She couldn't keep sitting around and doing nothing. Even if she couldn't stop it she could still be there for him but he wouldn't let her. Ian took a deep breath and pulled a smoke from his jacket lighting it up. He turned to her his eyes hollow “What do you want to know?”

Mandy face brightned at the words and her mouth turned upwards slightly into half smile. She knew she had to tred carefully or risk scaring him away. She pulled the last cigarete out of her pack and lit it. “Let's just start from the beginning, how did you meet”

Ian shifted next to her uncomfortably “I'm gonna be late for school Mandy”

She looked over at him with doubt in her eyes “Were you really going to go?”

He was silent for a moment then met her gaze “No” he took deep breath “Fine just ask something else”he replied running his finger along the edge of the sidewalk.

“Ok. How long have you been seeing each other?”

Ian glanced up thoughtfully“umm..i don't know really like 8 or 9 months”

“wow. Ok. That's a long time to be with someone you don't like” she replied not sure of how to react. She didn't want to judge but why would he stay with this guy for so long.

“This is stupid Mandy. I'm gonna go” Ian said getting up from the curb.

Damn. She was already fucking this up. “No Ian i'm sorry ok sit down.” she said and Ian rolled his eyes then slowly sat back down.

Ok. Let's try a different approach. Maybe tshe should talk about something she knew he was somewhat comfortble with. “so do you guys have sex?”

Ian looked at her and shrugged his shoulders“Yea”

“Is it at least good?”

“Now” he replied and lifeted his hand to his lap picking at his fingers.

“What do you mean now?”

“I mean it's good now. I don't know, before it was” he looked down at the ground “before it was different”

“Ok.” she looked at his face and could see the shame in his eyes and she had to know more “what changed? Like are you guys closer now”

“Not really... At first it was just like I don't know, I wasn't in to it I guess and now I am”

Mandys brows knitted together in confusion “How can you not be into sex?”

“Easy you're not into it.” he snapped “You don't want to do it, that's how”

She was taken back by the sudden outburst and found herself playing with the sleeve of her jacket nervously. She was afraid to keep going with the conversation, she wasn't sure Ian could take it.

“I'm sorry. I told you I don't wanna talk about this. Can we please go now?” Ian looked at her his eyes pleading.

This was what she wanted from him. He was talking to her and she needed to see it through. He needed her to pry because eventually it would lead to something maybe she could fix.

“No Ian. I want you to talk to me. I know it's hard but I'm here for you. I'm not going to judge you but I need you to let me in.”

“ok” he said softly his voice barely above a whisper.

“Ok.” she said an smiled at him reassuringly “ So you weren't into it in the beginng but you did it anyway...why?”

“I had no choice” he said flatly.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I had no fucking choice Mandy, do I have to spell it out. It's just something I had to do ok”

She wanted to believe she was misundestanding her friend. There was no way he meant what he was saying. “You mean you had to have sex....like you were forced?”

“i guess...i dont know”

“Ian no one can force you, that's rape. It's fucking illegal! Are you really telling me you were forced?”

“yes.. Mandy ok..it's really not a big deal anymore. It was just something I had to do. The whole fucking thing was something I had to do. I didn't want any of it then and now I don't care. I know it's fucked up but now the sex is amazing you know and..i don't know it's all so complicated” he said his eyes brimming with tears.

“It's ok Ian” she said and placed her hand softly on his back

“So it's still happening but now it's ok?” she said as she petted his back gently.

“it's not ok but it's just sex. I like sex..it just took me time to accept that I guess”

“Are you fucking kidding me Ian?” she said staring at him with wide eyes.

“Hey don't look at me like that ok. You don't fucking understand anything” he snapped.. “This guy is everywhere Mandy ok. He's everywhere I turn, everywhere I go. What fucking choice do I have? if I say no...well I stopped saying no a long time ago and it's better that way. When I just do what i'm told and give him what he wants things are better and it's ok.That's just how it is alright.” Ian said lowering his head and staring at the ground. He was playing with the gravel that lay against the curb.

“Ian it's not OK. None of this is OK. You're being forced by some abusive asshole to be in a relationship. Why didn't you tell me sooner?”

“I didn't think I could. I didn't want you to think I was a pussy. I'm fucking South Side Mandy we don't go around crying like bitches. I already get told i'm stupid all the time just didn't want to add to the list” he looked up at her sadness and shame clouding his eyes. She was so mad her best friend had been dealing with this alone when she was there. He didn't need to be alone. He deserved better than the piece of shit boyfriend he had and she should have paid closer attention in the beginning. He should have fucking told her. She punched him hard in the arm

“Damn it Mandy” he yelled and rubbed his arm.

“asking for help when you need it is different Ian and you know it. You're not fucking stupid ok, I don't care what that dickhead says. How old is this fucking guy anyways?”

“He's in his 20s but i'm not sure exactly” Ian replied still rubbing his arm

“How do you know he's in his 20s?”

“He can buy beer”

She nods her head then leans down on his shoulder.

“What else?” she says

“like what else does he do?”

“um..he's kind of possesive, like with sex and pretty much everything really. He likes to call me things, but it doesn't bother me anymore. I..i just don't think about it”

Mandy was biting her lip trying to hold back the anger she was feeling watching her friend giving up on himself.

“Like what. What does he say?” she finally says.

Ian stays silent and she thinks maybe that was too much. She really didn't need to know she was just curious and maybe it would lead to him opening up more.

“nevermind”

“No it's ok. He calls me red and good boy mostly, like when I do what he says and other things when I don't”

Jesus christ, this guy was sick. He was treating Ian like a fucking slave!

“You can't do this Ian. You can't stay with this guy.” she says more frantically then planned “ What does he have on you? Why are you so afraid?”

Ian pulls out another smoke. “He's just crazy Mands.” he replies and lights it “ He's done some fucked up shit ok. That night I came by...he had been following me.” he looked absently at the cars passing in the street “ I mean we were good like I thought things were over for like a week then he comes out of nowhere and attacks me. He knows where I live, where I work, where I go to school. He knows everything about me.”

“that why you wanted to run away?”

“yea” ian replied and took a long drag.

“Why didn't you?”

“He told me it wouldn't matter, that I was stupid for even thinking it would and he was right. He told me he owns me so he would find me”

Mandy's eyes widened in disbelief at the boys words. “He said he fucking owns you? Are you kidding me?”

“Nope. He's kinda got a thing about me being “his” I told you he's a fucking psycho”

“so some older guy is forcing you into an abusive relationship and thinks he owns you..like your a piece of property or somethin?”

“Yea exactly..it's sounds so simple when you say it out loud”

“Simple? Simple!. How the hell did this happen Ian? How did you meet this guy? Did you ever like him at one point or is it some random stranger..i just don't understand.

“It’s complicated Mandy. I told you”

“No ian you haven’t told me! Just tell me this isn’t some completely random dude who just creaped on you. At least give me that”

“No Mandy ok. It wasn’t some stranger ok we knew each other…at least I thought we did, that's why it's so weird I guess’

“What do you mean?”

“I thought he was cool at first. Like he seemed different than what I had heard. I thought we were becoming friends but then he like lost his shit and…I guess I was wrong”

“What happened like what changed?” she asked eager to find out more. Who was this fucking asshole?

“He found out I was gay and like said some fucked up things to me about it so I got mad”

“and..?”

“Turned out he was gay too and wanted to hook up. He was so fucked up about it though I turned him down”

“That’s when he forced you?”

Ian nodded and figeted with his fingers.

“Fuck Ian, this is really intense I’m so sorry you had too go through it alone”

“It’s really a lot better than it was Mandy.” In says and looks over at her with a half smile “ I mean he has moments where he can actually be a chill person.”

She glares at him because she can't believe the bullshit coming out of his mouth.

“ Last night, this” he pointed to his face “ this was my fault”

“How the hell is that your fault?”

“I knew I was pissing him off but I didn't care. I could tell he was upset about something that happened and i wanted to fix it”

“You amaze me Ian. This guy treats you like crap but you still care about his fucking feelings”

“It’s like i said Mandy it’s different now. When i just do what he tells me and don’t run my mouth. I dont make him mad at me and when he’s not upset it's not that bad. It's what it is OK” 

Mandy shook her head in disapproval and grabbed his hand. “Answer me this, if he broke up with you would you be sad? Would you miss him?”

“No” he replied, then chewed on his lip before glancing up at her. “I mean don't know. He can be really nice when he wants to, he just changes and.. ”

“ stop justifying his actions Ian!

“I'm not Mandy I'm just confused OK fuck. I don't how to feel or what to think anymore ok. I hate the fucking guy. I hate his guts ok but sometimes I don't. Like I said it could be worse, it's easier for me to just not think about because whats the point? Nothing is going to change.” he replies and tosses his smoke into the street.

“How can you say that Ian he hits you, calls you names, forces you into sex. None of that is ok”

“I'm fine OK. I have it under control” he says rising from the ground and brushing the dust from his pants.

“No Ian you don't. We are gonna find away to get you out of this. I’m gonna talk to my brother”

“ Mandy please don't do that. Please” he looked at her and she saw fear in his eyes. How was he still scared about Mickey. They were friends now. There was no way he would care about him being gay.

“Come on Ian, Mickey wont care that you're gay I promise. He would want to help you”

“Damn it Mandy” Ian said raising his hand to his face, then he turned to her “ going to your brother will just make things worse. I knew I shouldn't have said anything” he said his eyes were cold and angry

“I fucking knew this was a bad idea. You said I could trust you.”

What happened? Why was he suddenly freaking out on her?

“You can Ian. What did i say?”

Ian stook his hand out ‘Just stay out of it Mandy. It’s not your problem ok. Just leave it alone” he started walking quickly down the street.

“Ian wait”

“Just go” he yelled and started to run down the side walk.

***********************************************************************************

 

Holy fuck! What just happened? She knew something was wrong but she was not expecting that, not at all. Ian had told her the guy he was with was bad news and she had seen his handiwork but forcing him to have sex? He was 16 and this dude was in his 20's! Sure this was the South Side, if it was a real relationship and he was treated right no one would look twice at the age difference, at least she wouldn't. She had dated her share of older guys, but it wasn't like that. She needed to talk to Mickey, find out what he knew. He and Ian seemed pretty close, weirdly close almost like they were best friends. It confused her why again he freaked out when she mentioned asking for his help, maybe he thought he would loose his job or something. Whatever. She would talk to Mickey and with or without Ian's help she was determined to fix this situation.

 

Mandy walks into the store fo find her brother in his usual place behind the counter.  
"Hey assface"  
He looks up at her and rolls his eyes setting his magazine down.  
"The fuck you doin here?" "Geez Mick cant a girl just stop by to say hi?" "Fuck off. What do you want Mandy im busy? Everything ok?" He asks her raising his brow curiously

"Yea yea I'm fine. Is ah Ian here yet?" she said looking around.

"What? No. His shift aint till this afternoon kids at school" Mickey replied licking his fingers to flip the page of his magazine.

"No I was gonna walk him to school but we got into a fight and he stormed off. Thought he might have come here instead. Fiona told me he's been ditchin a lot. I'm just worried ya know"

Mickey looked at her a moment and she could tell he was irritated " i swear that kids fucking stupid. Like how hard is it to just do what your told and go to fucking school?”

"Goddamn Mickey he isn't fuckin stupid. I thought you guys were friends. Why'd you always gotta be such a dick?"

“I don't have friends Mandy”

“I know that's why its so weird you guys are so close”

“The fuck are you getting at?” rubbing his nose and crossing his arm. Why was he being so damn defensive. This wasn't about him it was about Ian.

“Ian's depressed.” she said looking at her brother for any hint of concern.

Mickey shrugged his shoulder and walked over to the cooler pulling out a mountain dew. “What? You think I give a shit cause I work with the guy?” he says and takes long swig of his soda.

Mandy can't believe how complacent her brother was acting. She knew they were friends, they fucking hung out all they time. Why was he being so indifferent? I bet if he knew what was going on he would show some fucking concern.

“Has Ian told you anything about who he's dating?” she said leaning against the wall and crossing her feet.

Her brother looked at her for a moment then started walking back to his chair behind the counter.

“He's not dating anyone. Reds fucking gay”

Mandy eyes widened as her borther sat down and continued perusing through the pages in his magazine.

He looked up at her, his eyes were more serious then she exspected “What? You think I didn't know. I'm his fucking boss, kid tells me everything”

"Well if he tells you everything why hasn't he told you about his boyfriend. The asshole is awful to him. He hasn't said anything to you?"

Micey raised his head "What the hell are you talking about right now? What did he tell you?" he says and closes the magazine, his eyes fixed with hers

"Ian's boyfriend. He's a complete douchebag. I was gonna see if you could help with him but for some reason Ian freaked out. If you guys talk a lot why would be so opposed to you knowing. It doesn't make any fucking sense"

"I told you the kids fucking stupid Mandy. It's obvious he don't know whats good for him." Mickey replied rolling his eyes and grabbing his phone "The fuck did he tell you anyway?"

"Fuck Mick Ian is not stupid so stop calling him that. He told me his boyfriend is controlling and there is nothing he can do to escape him"

"Sounds a bit dramatic Mandy. Reds a fucking teenager. You ever think he might be hard to handle? I work with the guy, he can be a handful trust me" he replied texting on his phone furiously then slamming it on the counter.

"God no wonder Ian doesn't want me to talk to you. You sound like an asshole. So cause Ian has an "attitude" he deserves what is happening to him?"

He brother stands up and walks around the counter "Thats not what i said. I'm just sayin you don't know what's going on. Theres probably more to it"

"More to it?” she yells annoyed by the lack of concern her brother was showing for her friend. “ Ian does not deserved to be in an abusive relationship! Nobody should be raped and forced, Ian is too sweet to have to deal with something like this. Why aren't you defending him more? Imagine if it was me hmm, would you just say I deserved it?”

Mickey licked his lips and rubbed his nose " See that would never happen to you cause i would kill a bitch before he touched you" her brother looked a the ground then back up at her "So he told you that huh, that he was forced?"

“he was raped Mickey.” she replied not trying to sugercoat succh a terrible thing.

Mickey rubs his forhead. " Yea Ok. I got it. What else he tell you?" he said glancing at his phone and texting again. What the fuck? She was having a conversation with him and he was more focused on his phone.

“That can't wait” she said and pointed to his phone.

“Not that it's your fucking business bitch but no it can't.”

She rolled her eyes in frusteration and continued her rant.

"Well he's an abusive asshole Mickey. Makes Ian do everything he says or he gets punished. He fucking hits him! Gave him a black eye can you believe it. Saw it this morning. Mickey Ian is so afraid of him, I..I fucking hate it."

"He's afraid..really?" Mickey takes another swig of his soda then walks over to her "So did he tell who this dude is or anything else about him?"

"No he didn't tell me who he is douchbag. Why do you think I'm here asking you? If I knew I would be killing the asshole right now"

"I'm just gonna say this once Mandy" her brother said as he walked over to magaine rack snatching another one sticking out and sitting back down in his chair." Stay out of it alright. Just because the kid decided to run his mouth too you don't mean it's any of your buisness. I know he's your friend but if you really care about it then fucking drop it and let him figure his own shit out"

“You know what Fine Mickey. I don't know why I even asked you. You weren't helpful at all" she yelled and stormed out of ther store.

When she got home Ian was all she could think about. She kept replaying the conversation in her mind. She ws trying to see how this guy was always around but she had never seen or met him. He knew where he lived but Fiona said Ian was never home so when would he find him there. Mickey had no idea what he was talking about which blew her mind. Ian was comfortable enough enough to tell him he was gay but not tell him about this? It didn't make any sense.

She layed down on her bed and tried to quiet her mind but all she do was hear Ian's voice. _“Hes everywhere Mandy, I have no escape”_ Fuck. How was she missing this. It had just been the 3 of them for so long. He didn't have other friends besides her and her brother. Plus Mickey had been over at his house all the time so ...no. There's no way. No fucking way. It's just not possible. Mickey wasn't gay...was he? No. she shook the thought from her head almost as swiflty as it came. Mickey used to fag bash with her brothers and her dad no fucking way he was gay.

It didn't make any sense. When would Ian have time for a relationship, especially one as demanding as he described. He was either at work or with them...with Mickey. She leaned over and grab a joint from the table and lit it breathing in deeply staring at the paint peeling on the wall. Ian did freak out everytime she brought up her brother. Like he lost his shit, the first time he cryed and ran away this time he practically begged her not to say anything...No. Mickey was not gay and even he was..but he wasn't he could never do that to someone. Sure her brother had issues but he was a good person. He always protected her and made sure she had everything she needed. She could always go to Mickey about anything..even if he was an asshole about it he would listen. He couldn't do something like this. He was friends with Ian. he wouldn't hurt him would he? Fuck. Her chest rose heavily as the thoughts ran through her mind. She started to think about how they acted around each other. She thought back to the restraunt. She was suprised to see they knew each other but the real shock was how Ian talked to Mickey. Yea he worked for him but it had only been a little over a month and the kid was actin like he'd known Mickey forever, talking to him like she wouldn't even dare. That was really weird. It was kind strange how suddeny Mickey was home all the time. He used to sleep over few times a week when her dad would come home but for the most part, he stayed at his apartment. It wasn't until Ian started hanging out all the time that Mickey came by..or was it Mickey came by and Ian started hanging around all the time. Holy Fuck...no. That was impossible. She squeezed her eyes shut and felt a tear escape as she started to piece together a puzzle she wished she had never opened. Ian had said he had no esacpe, they guys was always there. How is that possible if he was always with them. He worked with her brother, hung out with her brother. Mickey was in his 20s and he..he called him stupid all the time and red? How did she miss that? Mickey called him that all the time, like it was his name. Red was Mickey's nickname for Ian, she thought it was because they were friends not...fuck" she jumped up from the bed, slamming open the door and running to the bathroom. She made it to the toilet then lost it. Fuck fuck fuck. It all made sense. Everything Ian had said. Mickey was so defensive when she brought up Ian at the store and now that she thought about it they were always glancing at each other. Anytime Ian cancled his plans with her, Mickey was standing there. She stood up and walked to the sink to rinse her mouth and brush her teeth. She still didn't want to believe it. She wouldn't believe it until Mickey admitted to it. There was no way her brother had been abusing her best friend right in front of her for almost a year, it just wasn't possible. Mickey was not gay and she had smoked way to much fucking weed. She dried off her face and walked into the living room. She sat down on the couch and stared at the clock counting down the hours until her brother came home.

**********************************************************************************

 

She wakes up when she hears the sound of the door unlocking. It's almost midnight so she knows it must be Mickey. She wondered it Ian was with him, he usually was. Her brother walked in the front door with a paper bag in his hands."here" he said and tossed it to her. She looked in the bag and saw a burger and fries. Mickey was always thinking of her, always showing he cared. she had to be wrong. She had to be. She grabbed her smokes from the table and lit one up "Thanks. Where's Ian?" she said casually and watched her brother carefully studying his response. Mickey walked behind the couch and kicked of his boots snatching the cigaretter from her.

"Fucking asshole never showed up" he replied.

"What really? You're not gonna fire him are you?" she said concerned remebering that her brother was still Ian's boss.

Mickey looked down at her and raised his brow "No i'm not gonna fire him. He'll be there tomarrow with some lame excuse"

"How do you know that?"

Mickey laughed and took another long drag "because Mandy, he'd have to be really fucking stupid to not show up again”

The way her brother spoke normally wouldn't bother her but now so much was on her mind, she was reading into it more. It almost sounded like a threat rather than a statement. Fuck. She decided to try and see if it was Mickey. She wasn't just going to ask him though, he needed to let something slip something that would prove he was this monster. He couldn't be, she had to be wrong. She prayed this was going to be waste of time and Mickey would end up telling her she was retarded but a part of her still had that nagging feeling that it wasn't.

"So when did Ian tell you he was gay?" she said casully and she at a french fry.

Mickey looked over at her and rolled his eyes "You starting on this shit again Mandy. I told you it's none of your business" Mickey replied

"It's just a question dude no need to get so defensive just tell me. How did you find out?"

Mickey looked over at her then walked over to the fridge. he grabbed a beer and sat down at the kitchen table. She watched as he stared at the can thoughfully before popping the tab and taking a sip. Once he was done he looked at her. "I found out at work alright"

She turned so that her front was against the couch and she was staring at the table "So...how exactly?" "Christ mandy he was flirting with some fucking old guy on the clock so I asked him if he was a fag and he said yes ok"

"Mickey you can't just call him a fag ok, you can get in a lot of trouble for that as an employer" "Wow you sure you don't already know this story cause that's exactly what the bitch said" he laughed bitterly and took a swig of his beer. "Why do you care how i know?' he crossed his arms across his chest and leaned back in the chair.

"just wondering i guess. He told me some more stuff about the guy he's with"she replied

Her brother sat up straight in his chair and licked his lips. "yea? Like what?"

"Just that he's 22 he has a gun" she lied. Ian never said that he had a gun but she wanted to shake him down for everything. "He wouldn't give me a name but said it's someone know. Says he talks to this guy eveyday Mickey. He has no where to run cause this asshole is always around" she got up and sat down at the table across from her brother, His eyes had darkened at he was staring at her intensly.

"You got somethin to say Mandy fucking say it" he spat causing her to question him even more. She decided to go for the kill either he would brush her off or he would loose his mind. "I'm not saying anything Mickey i don't have to because you and I both know the truth. I think we both know who Ian is talking about, at least i think i do. How about you brother? "

“I think it's time for you stop talking about things you don't understand.” he said and sucked his bottom lip between his teeth.

“then make me understand”

“what you want from me Mandy fuck? You want me to say there's two sides to everything? You ever think maybe Ian did something to this guy.” Mickey was standing now his beer in one hand and he cogarete in the other as he paced by the side of the table.

“What could he possibly have done Mickey to deserve this”

“Mandy you think your little friend is so fucking innocent but he's not trust me. He probably led this guy on and then spit in his face or something.”

Mandy stared at him thinking back to the conversation she had with Ian eariler.

“ _Turned out he was gay too but he was so fucked up about it I turned him down ”_

No that wasn't suppose to happen. He was just supposed to tell her to shut up not keep the conversation going. NO.

“Why do you go over to his house?” she blurted out.

Mickey placed his beer in the table and grabbed the back of the chair leaning on it and looking at her blankly.

'”Fiona told me you are over there almost everyday..why?”

“It's none of your damn business that's why”

“And why do you call Ian Red? When did that start?”

“you serious Mandy he's a fuckin ginger. That's what I call him.” Mickey said defensilvly and put out his smoke.

“You ever call him anything else?”

Mickey buried his hands in his face. “I'm not gonna listen to this shit. I got work tommarow and Ian better fucking show up cause he knows better ” he said grabbing his phone off the table.

Here it goes, there was no turning back.

“good boy Mickey” Mandy said softly causing her brother to freeze momentarily. He turned to her and looked her square in the face.

“The fuck did you just say to me?”

“Ian” she said her voice breaking. “He's your good boy isn't he” Mickeys face went ghostly pale and she knew she was right. She felt a hot heat take over her as she lounged at her brother.

“It's fucking you isn't it asshole?” she yelled and punched him.

“Mandy look..Mandy” Mickey replied trying to puch her off.

"Don't Mandy me you piece of shit! This whole time it was you! What the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously how screwed up in the head do you gotta be to do something this fucked up? God dammit Mickey what the fuck?"

"Get the fuck off of me" he yelled and pushed her off climbing to his feet.

"You don't know shit Mandy OK. You may think you know but you don't." he said putting his arm out to keep her away

"Really I don't know Mickey? Well I know you have been fucking raping my best friend how about that! Forcing him into sex, he's 16 Mickey what the fuck? I know if he doesn't listen to every word you say you fuckin punish him. That's right you fucked up this time around I saw the black eye Mick.”

She was so mad she felt like she could explode. Her world was crashing down around her as she stared at the stranger in front of her who moments before she considerd a good person.

 

“What the hell after all the shit we've put up with dad and here you are turning into him. You turned Ian into a shell of a person you know that. I should beat your ass for this. I still might"

"Watch it Mandy. I'm nothing like dad ok. Don't you ever compare me to that piece of shit you hear me?" he says and rubs his nose "I told you the kid doesn't fucking listen ok. It's not my fault if i tell him not to do something and he does it anyways. No one forces him to be stupid he does that all on his own. You think i wanna do that shit? He makes me."

"Jesus Mickey are you even listening to yourself right now? Where have I heard those words before? You sound fucking delusional! I don't care if it pisses you off but you are being just like Dad. I think you do wanna do this shit or else you wouldn't of started it in the first place you dick. Ian doesn't listen and you beat him. You don't think that sounds like fucking Terry hmm? Think asshole you are the one on the end of the beatings the most.”

He stood there silently glaring at her.

“Fuck Mickey! You are seriously fucking lying to yourself if you think this thing with Ian is nothing but a sick twisted game"

He stepped away from the wall and walked back over to the table.

"It's not a fucking game Mandy ok. Yea it started out as i don't know something else but it's more than that now. We could be happy if he just fucking tried a little ok. That's all i want. That's the only reason we are even having this conversation because i may have lost my temper, but he knows what not too do. He fucking knows that ok i made sure of it then he goes and does it anway." he replies and stares at the ground. She can't believe the person she is talkign to is her brother. How did this even happen? When did this start? What did Ian do that made Mickey think he could treat him like this. He must have done something because the Mickey she knows would never stoop so low.

"Well Mick sorry to tell you but Ian will never be happy. How could he be when you want him to just fucking obey you all the time. You broke him! That's not a relationship that's slavery. What did he even do to make you think this was an option or was even fucking ok? Explain it to me hmm explain to me why you think it's ok to be this controlling person you have turned into. Tell me cause I swear to god I don't fuckin get it"

"Can we fucking sit down please" he looked at her and gestured to the table. The both sat down and her brother sucked in his cheek nervously "Look. I like the kid ok. I always have. I thought he liked me but" he paused and rubbed his nose "he acted like he was better than me Mandy. Like i wasn't worth his fucking time and i don't know i just snapped. One thing led to another and next thing i know he's doing what i say. You gotta believe me I didn't think ..i never..I wanted him to want to be with me. The whole reason i started fucking with him was because i thought maybe would see that he wanted to be with me"

"Ok so you like him thats fine but that doesn't excuse any of this Mickey. You raped him ok. You're forcing him into some kind of fucked up relationship. You hit him if he doesn't listen. You're brainwashing him. He thinks his black eye is his fault. It's yours asshole, you punched him. You did all of this. Don't you realize how fucked up this is? What is your goal? Where did you think this would all go."

 

"I don't know Mandy Ok. I just I wanted to be with him and he said no and...i didn't think about it i just needed to be with him. I..I need to be with him. I thought that maybe he would just forget the bad stuff and just be with me but i can't help it when he says no i swear to god it makes me just ..i dont know it makes me so mad now. “ He lets out a dep breath and locks eyes with her. “I never wanted to force him into anything, i just wanted to fuck with him OK. I know it's fucked up but thats all i wanted but he made me so mad one time and..... after being with him, something changed and he was all i could think about he is all i can think about Mandy. Don't you see. I fucked it all up so now this is how it is this is the only way i can have what i want, and i want Ian. I need him OK".

 

"Alright I get wanting him but you can't force someone to be with you. That's not a relationship don't you see that? Don't you fucking see that Mickey you're just lying. This whole thing is a lie. You're lying to everyone. Ian, yourself, even me! Why did you let me confide in you earlier? You pretended like you didn't know shit and it was you all along! God I feel like such an idiot going to you know. But I guess if I didn't I wouldn't have figured it out"

Mickey stood up from the table.

"can we stop fucking talking about this shit. it's like 2am. You got what you wanted you made me into the bad guy so are we done here"

She couldn't believe her brother right now. It was taking all her strength to not stab him with a kitchen knife but he was still her brother. Fucking asshole.

"Listen to me Mickey you better fix this. I know I can't force you to do shit cause you'll do what you want. But let's get one thing fuckin straight if you don't stop this shit and fix yourself and Ian our relationship will be ruined. I will always love you cause your my brother but I will never respect you got it. You've already lost my respect and the only way to ever get it back is if you get your shit together. Ian is brainwashed into thinking he has no way out and he isn't worth anything. YOU made him that way. You have to fix him. I will help both of you any way I can but I can only do so much. If I sit there and tell Ian he is worth it but you tell him he's not he will listen to you. You fucking programmed him that way.” she stand up from the table and walks over to her bother punching him in the arm “ I don't know what happened to you. You have never been this person, this controlling manipulative asshole. You remind of dad which is something I never thought I would say. I want my old brother back. Where is he Mickey hm ? where the fuck is he? Cause I don't see him"

Mickey grabbed her hand and pushed away.

"It's not that easy Mandy ok. You're right things are different. I'm diferent. I don't know if I want things to change. There are times when we are happy ok, It's not all bad. Don't think you can just come in here into my buisness and just exspect me to fucking change because you said so. I love you Mandy but i don't owe you a fucking"

Are you fucking kidding me right now. He was clearly not taking her seriously. Fuck it.

"You're happy Mickey, not Ian get that through your thick skull! He may act like he's happy but that's all it is an act. He does it so you don't get pissed and hit him. Fuck you just don't get it do you?

She folded her arms and looked at him smugly.

“Fine you know what fix this shit and I won't have to go to the cops. How long you think you would go away for rape of a minor?” she shuttered as the words left her mouth. She never imagined a day where she would have this conversation, not with Mickey. “ Don't fucking test me Mickey I'll do it. This whole thing is too fucked up. So either you fix it or I will"

Her brother walked up to her so they were face to face

"The cops Mandy are you outta your fucking mind? You really do that dirty shit afer everything i've done for you?” he wavde his hand in the air “ You would chose your friend over me? you're supposed to be my fucking sister, we have each others back!”

"I'm not going to Mickey but fuck. This ...this isn't you. Please Mick please fix this. Don't be this person. Be the brother I remember. Cause this person you've become is....” she sighed and took a step back from her brother gesturing around him “ this isn't you .Just get your shit together and fix this”

Mickey ran his hand threw his hair then leaned agaist the kichen counter.

"Mandy just understand i care about him or whatever ok. I want to be with him and i'm not gonna just throw everything away but I get it Ok. I fucked it all up and i will try to make it better"

"Ok well that's better than nothing I guess. Cause Mick you will never truly have Ian like this. If you want him the way you say you do you're gonna have to work for him. Change yourself a lot I hope you get that. Anyways I'm here if you need me asshole.” she turned to walk away, she needed to get away from her brother because she still wanted to stab him. Anyone else and they would be bleeding out on th floor.

“ Oh and just so you know this doesn't mean I forgive. You're gonna have to work for that too" she said walking into her room.

“I know” Mickey called as she shut her door.

FUCK. She felt like such an idiot. How did she miss something that was clearly so obvious. She still felt sick to her stomach knowing but what was she going to do. She couldn't force Mickey to change no body could and she couldn't make Ian leave him. He was too afraid and the only person who could change that was her piece of shit brother. She plopped down on her bed and pulled out her phone.

**Mandy (2:45) I know ur mad. I'm sorry. I'm here for you & I won't pressure you any more ok**

**Ian (2:48) u promise?**

Mandy laughed thinking back to their first conversation where he promised not to be a serial killer. He was such a good person. He deserved better.

**Mandy (2:50) yea I promise. C u tommarow?**

**Ian (2:52) k**

She put her phone on her dresser and closed her eyes trying to erase the last few hours from her mind. She thought back again to that day on the train and Ian's akward goofy smile. It made her smile and she drifted off to sleep.

  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So to anyone who thinks Mandy might be brushing this off she's not. She won't go to the cops because she is a milkovich. She knows her brother is better than the person he has become but NO ONE can change him or make him change. He has to do it. So even though she knows the ball is still in Mickey's court to right the wrongs not Mandys. xoxoxo


	18. Fuck It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian is sad. He is broken. He is lost in the thoughts in his head. He and lip spend time together and he decides to make a big change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay between updates. This was originally a really long chapter lol 12k but i split it into two. The second half will be up tonight. This is before Mandy actually confronts Mickey just to clear up any confusion. This is Ian's POV on the day he ditched work and school. 
> 
> Thank you to my lovely beta and PIC Jessica92 for saying "In the End" reminder her of Ian because that is what inspired the chapter. Kudos doll xo
> 
> Could not figure out how to use a03s html player but i really wanted to have the song available lol silly me i know. xoxo

He didn't know where he was going, only that he wanted to get away. He walked down the sidewalk trailing his hand over the chainlink fence of the playground beside him. He couldn't stop thinking about the conversation he had with Mandy. He had never planned on talking to her about any of this and now she knew so much it was terrifying. He did trust her but at the same time he knew how much she cared for him and was afraid that she would do something stupid like talk to Mickey. In her mind Mickey was a good guy. He was a protector, a big brother, the one she could run to fix her problems. That wasn't the case though. At least it wasn't for him. He hoped Mandy would take the hint and just leave it alone. Was is too much to ask for people to just leave him alone? He knew her heart was in the right place but he had clearly expressed that he didn't need her help, that he didn't want to talk to her about it. Now everything had changed. She knew what was going on now and he hated seeing that look of pity in her eyes. He was supposed to be a Gallagher. They didn't take pity from anyone. They stood up for what they believed in, they were fucking South Side. He wasn't any of those things anymore. I mean yea he was but not really. He had lost himself completely. He would wake up in the morning and see a stranger staring back at him with dead eyes and a fake smile. The only good thing in his life now was his family and Mandy and he was too ashamed to even be around them anymore. He hated going home. He knew when he walked in the front door his family would expect him to play the part of Ian Gallagher. The middle child who was good in school and had dreams of becoming an officer in the army. He was supposed to be the big brother the one his siblings could come to for help, but how could he be that person anymore. How was he expected to be there and help his family when he couldn't help himself. He wasn't Ian anymore he was Mickey's. He was a good boy, a robot, a slave. He had turned into someone who said how high when told to jump.  
He took a deep breath and stared up the sky watching a flock of birds go by. He envied those birds. They could go where ever they wanted. If they were unhappy with the weather in one place they could just fly away until they found someplace better. He had given up on that concept, someplace better... someone better. He never thought he would say he was in a relationship with Mickey but he was. He didn't want to be but he was. He had been doing this fucked up dance with the guy for almost a year now, there was really no other way to define it. Once he realized Mickey would never let him go he gave into it. Things were never going to get better. He just needed to take it one day at a time and try to make them good days. He wasn't lying when he told Mandy the guy could be nice sometimes. In his own way Mickey could be nice, he could do nice things. The hard part was accepting these things knowing any moment they could change. The guy was like a time bomb waiting to explode. Being with him was like a rollercoaster ride that never ended, that he couldn't get off. The dreams he had were gone and replaced with restless nights and self loathing. The only thing he could do was try to make the best of it. He needed to try and be happy or at least pretend to. When he did what he was told and behaved then Mickey was happy and that's really what mattered right? Him keeping Mickey happy would make his life easier then he could be happy. That was the only logic that made sense to him anymore.

Ian walked looked around from his thoughts and noticed he had walked all the way to the other side of town. He had been walking for a little over an hour, stopping every now and then to people watch and stare at the sky. He found walking soothing..or at least he used to. Now when he walked he immediately got stuck in his mind instead of freeing himself from it. Never the less it still felt good. The cool morning air was on his face and the sun was tucked behind an overcast sky. He hoped it wouldn't rain but that would be just his luck. He stared up at the darkening clouds and felt his stomach rumble. He could smell the aroma of sugar and baked dough coming from down the block, Normally he had no interest in sugary sweets but the smell was making his mouth water and his emotional state led him to walk through the door. The bakery was filled with rows and rows of sugary goodness. There were cupcakes piled with creamy frosting and cinnamon rolls glistening under the display lights. His eyes settled on an orange scone nestled on a plate, like it was waiting for him. He gave the cashier the 3$ from his pocket and was handed his scone. He walked out of the store and shoved a piece in his mouth. It was soft and flaky, the orange glaze melting on his tongue. He went to take another bite when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He licked the suger from his fingers and carefully pulled his phone out of his pocket.

 **asshole (9:00) what are u doing?**  
What should he say? He knew Mickey would be upset if he said he had ditched class again. It was weird how much he cared about him going to school. He didn't care about him, so why did it fucking matter? It did though for whatever reason and he didn't feel like fighting right now. He really just wanted to ignore the message but he knew he couldn't do that either.  
**Ian (9:02) sitting in math class**  
He kept his phone in his hand and took another bite of the flaky delicious pastry. It was sad how such a small thing like a scone made him feel so good. For a moment he forgot about his problems and just focused on the sweet taste in his mouth. He regretted not getting a coffe but he only had the 3$ on him. He walked back the way he came eating his treat and listening to the sound of the cars driving by. His phone went off again and he let out a deep breath before unlocking the screen.  
**asshole (9:10) is that right? sounds fuckin boring**  
If he was there it would be the exact opposite. He was taking an AP geometry class to put on his resume for Westpointe. He laughed bitterly at the thought. Yet another thing Mickey had managed to take from him. He had been so depressed and broken he had been ditching school almost every other day. He was amazed he hadn't been expelled for truancy but when he was there he was a good student so maybe that made up for it who knows. He did know his dreams of becoming on office were gone. They would look at his record and send him out the door. He hadn't even been to ROTC practice for almost a week and even when he went he wasn't excited about it anymore. It just reminded him of what he couldn't have. He didn't really want to talk to Mickey so he came up with a simple answer hoping the man would leave him alone.  
**Ian (9:11) Yep I hate math. Hard to keep my eyes open**  
There was no response for several minutes so he stuck his phone in the pocket of his hoodie and continued down the sidewalk. He saw the park at the end of the block and decided fuck it. He loved to swing. It might sound girly but it helped him clear his mind. It was the closest he could feel to flying. He walked through the grass over to the park entrance. There were a couple kids playing on the jungle gym and two little boys throwing gravel at each other without a care in the world. He looked at them enviously. He missed those days. He missed when the only thing he had to worry about was what action figure he wanted but was too poor to get, or the best place to hide so lip wouldn't find him when they were playing hide  & go seek. Life was so much easier. It was still shitty but he was too young to really understand it then. Now he saw everything. He saw all the fucked up shit in the world and how truly evil some people could be, even to those they claimed to love. Even then he tried to find the good, tried to see the silver lining in otherwise dark situations. That was until he met Mickey. There was no silver lining to that guy. When he did think he could see a bit of goodness, a spark of kindness, it was doused away with a reminder that he was not in control of anything. Nothing he did mattered. There were no silver linings. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and his headphones from his backpack before laying it on the ground. He decided to listen to Linkin Park. It was one of his favorite bands and right now he needed music to try and feel something again, anything even if it was sadness. He sat on the swing and placed his headphones in his ear. His phone buzzed again in his hand.  
**asshole (9:20) anything eventful happen today?**  
Only if you count Mandy him surprising and then reluctantly pouring out his soul to her. God that was so fucking stupid. What was he thinking? Couldn't she tell he was uncomfortable? Honestly if he wanted to talk to anyone he would. Now he felt worse than he did this morning. Mandy knew his dirty secret, how long before she bugged him about it again? He looked down at his phone and thought carefully about what to say. Mickey didn't know and he didn't need to know. As far as the guy knew this was just a regular day.  
**Ian (9:23) Not really. Woke up got ready and went to school.**  
He waited, nothing. Good, maybe Mickey decided he was as bored with the conversation as he was. He choose shuffle on his phone and placed it his pocket moving his legs back and forth beneath him. He let the heavy melody float in his ear and take shelter in his brain as he stared absently at the clouds in the sky.

 _It starts with one_  
_One thing, I don't know why_  
_It doesn't even matter how hard you try_  
_Keep that in mind_  
_I designed this rhyme to explain in due time_  
_All I know_  
_Time is a valuable thing_  
_Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings_  
_Watch it count down to the end of the day_  
_The clock ticks life away_  
_It's so unreal_  
_Didn't look out below_  
_Watch the time go right out the window_  
_Tryin' to hold on, but didn't even know_  
_I wasted it all just to watch you go_  
_I kept everything inside_  
_And even though I tried, it all fell apart_  
_What it meant to me will eventually be a memory_  
_Of a time when I tried so hard_

He did try hard, at least he thought he did. He fought to stay the same person he was before, to keep that independence and pride that made him..him. He used to be a smartass teenager. He was a Gallagher, fucking South Side. What did that even mean really? Just because he grew up poor in the ghetto of Chicago that was supposed to make him somehow stronger. Why didn't it? If he was so fucking South side why was he living in fear letting some asshole run his life? He knew the answer. The truth was he gave up, somewhere along the way it became easier to accept his situation then to fight it. There was no point in fighting, it was a waste of time and he was tired.

 _I tried so hard_  
_And got so far_  
_But in the end_  
_It doesn't even matter_  
_I had to fall_  
_To lose it all_  
_But in the end_  
_It doesn't even matter_

It didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore, not school, not his family only Mickey. He found himself so worried about making the guy happy, saying the right thing and doing the right thing that he neglected everything and everyone he once held close to him.

He leaned back in the swing and closed his eyes, letting the feeling of being upside down wash over him and bring a wonderful chill up his spine. The cool morning air felt refreshing on his face as he sank deeper into the sad serenity of the words playing in his head.

 _One thing, I don't know why_  
_It doesn't even matter how hard you try_  
_Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme_  
_To remind myself how I tried so hard_

_I tried so hard_

_In spite of the way you were mocking me_  
_Acting like I was part of your property_  
_Remembering all the times you fought with me_  
_I'm surprised it got so far_

_Far_

_Things aren't the way they were before_  
_You wouldn't even recognize me anymore_  
_Not that you knew me back then_  
_But it all comes back to me in the end_

_In the end_

_You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart_  
_What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard_

He opened his eyes slightly and was blinded by the sun. He let his eyes adjust before fully opening them and staring at the world around him coming into focus. He felt like he was just going through the motions now. He was watching his life instead of living in it, just like he was watching the people walking through the park from the top of his swing.

 _I tried so hard_  
_And got so far_  
_But in the end_  
_It doesn't even matter_  
_I had to fall_  
_To lose it all_  
_But in the end_  
_It doesn't even matter_

He pulled his headphones out of his ear and shoved them in his pocket. The swing slowed down to a reasonable pace and and he closed his eyes and jumped. He felt free for a moment as he moved through the air, the wind on his face. His feet smashed down on the gravel and he toppled forward losing his balance. He rose from the ground and brushed the dust from his jeans. He felt his phone buzzing again in his pocket.The moment was gone, now he was back to reality. He pulled out his phone not to see another message from Mickey.  
**Asshole (9:45) my day has been pretty crazy Red. U know sometimes people just don't know when to keep their fucking mouth shut am i right?**  
What was he talking about? Why was he even bothering him right now was he really that bored? He rolled his eyes and walked over to the park bench and sat down. He typed a short message into his phone then pulled his pack of cigarettes out of his pocket.  
**Ian (9:50) Yea I know what you mean**  
What was he going to do all day? He was too broke to do anything fun but he didn't want to spend anymore time alone. Lately he had been getting lost in his mind more and that was a depressing place to be. Lip was in school but he knew he would bail if he asked him. He would probably give him shit for ditching but it wouldn't be much. He knew he was dealing with shit, he just didn't know what.  
**Ian(9:55) dude you should come hang out w me :)**  
He hoped that his brother would have his phone out. Lip was really good at school. He knew almost more than the teachers did therefore he never really paid attention in class. He felt his phone buzz. Thank you universe. He looked down and was disappointed to see the text was from Mickey.  
**Asshole (10:00) LOL i'm sure you do**  
LOL? Since when did Mickey ever laugh out loud? That was strange. Whatever.  
**Bro (10:02) by that I assume you didn't go to school today?**  
Ha! Just what he expected.  
**Ian (10:05) way to go einstein lol. So you down or what?**  
**Lip (10:06) U know it. This class gets out at 10:30. We can go home and light up.**  
**Ian(10:08) K see u there.**  
He put his phone in his pocket and headed down the sidewalk. He found himself looking forward to spending time with his brother. He had been so distant with everyone he didn't realize how much he actually missed them. It wasn't their fault he was having a hard time. He had been short with them, snapping for no reason and keeping himself locked up in his room. It would be nice to relax and smoke a joint with his brother just like old times.

 

When he got to the house Lip was waiting for him on the stairs.  
“took you long enough man”  
Ian shrugged his shoulders and placed his hands in his pockets sitting down next to him.  
“Yea well I walked and you took the train”  
Lip looked over at him and shook his head.  
“so why aren't you in school?”  
Here it comes. He just needed to breeze past this then they could relax and enjoy their day.  
“Like I said man I just can't concentrate anymore. There's just too much on my mind”  
“You wanna talk about it'' Lip said and pulled a joint out of his wallet. He brought the joint to his lips and lit it, the paper flared up as he took a deep drag.  
Ian reached around and rubbed the back of his neck “yea not really man. I kinda just want to forget about it” he replied.  
“you know that's not good for you right? Keepin all that shit inside. It's gonna make you go fucking crazy one day.” Lip passed him the joint and looked at him straight faced.  
“Come on man. I'm fine ok. I'll figure it out”  
Lip reached over and patted him on his back reassuringly “Well you are a Gallagher and we are the masters of figurin' shit out”  
Ian couldn't help but laugh at the comment. It was true his family was good at problem solving and making something out of nothing. Right now though he didn't feel like Gallagher, he didn't feel like anyone. He puffed on the joint and stretched his legs out so they were resting in front of him on the stairs.  
“We should go do something man. I didn't ditch so that we could sit around a day dream” Lip said resting his head on the wooden railing and staring at the sky with his brother.  
“I'm fucking broke so” Ian replied.  
Lip shoved him in the arm playfully “How is it you have a job man yet you're still broke all the time?”  
Ian looked over at him “You know my check barely covers groceries for the month”  
“I'm just fucking with you. It's great you're working. I'm proud of you Ian” lip replies and grabs the joint from his brothers fingers.  
“Lets go catch a movie and then we can see about getting food or somethin” Lip said and stood up from the stairs, the joint dangling from his lips.  
“What you have money?”  
Lip pulled a small wad of bills from his pocket “Collected today on 2 research papers. 100$ baby, thank god for those illeterate fucks” his brother laughed and shoved the money back in his pocket.  
“Nah man, that's for the squirel fund” Ian looked at him with a raised his brow.  
Lip looked down and set his hand on his shoulder “There will always be people who are too stupid or too lazy to do their own work so don't worry about it. Let's go have some fun”  
Ian looked at the ground. He couldn't think of the last time he had actually had fun. Sure he enjoyed his time with Mandy but Mickey was always there so it was still un nerving even when the 3 were doing something relativley fun.  
“Alright man. Let me put my stuff away and take a piss. You should see if Spider Man is playing, wouldn't mind seeing that.”  
He stood up from the stairs and pushed open the front door. The house was empty with the kids being at school and Fiona at one of her many jobs. He walked up to his room and sat his backpack on his bed. He decided to change his clothes. It was a nice day for being the middle of fall. He was wearing black jeans with a button up shirt and a hoodie. After the walk home he relized that was way too many layers.  
He decided to go with a his blue owl shirt. He liked owls, they held a mystery to them, you could never tell what was going on behind their eyes. He felt the same way. He decided to grab a jacket instead of his hoodie and walked out the door and down the stairs. Lip was standing at the kitchen counter drinking a glass of juice.  
“you changed?” he said looking at him curiously.  
“It's too hot for layers man trust me” he replied and went to use the bathroom. When he came out he poured himself a glass of juice and looked at his brother “So you find a movie?”  
“yea spiderman is playing cross town at 12, if we leave now we can make the train.”  
Ian slammed the rest of his drink and put the jug back in the fridge.  
“Let's go then” he smiled and they walked out the door, lip shutting it behind them and headed down the street.  
***************************************************************************

He was sitting on the L talking to his brother. He had almost forgotten the dark cloud that looming over him as he and lip talked about his stupid girlfriend. It was nice to hear someone elses problems instead of dwelling on his own. He had been dating this chick Karen off and on and the bitch was crazy. Ian actually liked her at first but he always though she was kinda slutty. She tried to blow him when Lip found out he was gay and it did not go so well. What kinda girl would do that though, like she was dating his brother but still tried to blow him? I mean Lip did ask her but still ew. He laughed thinking about how Karens dad caught her and chased them out of the house. He didn't think he had run so fast in his life oh my god it was great. He smiled at his brother as he described the most recent thing his crazy girfriend did which was chop her hair and die it black when he felt his phone buzz. He pulled it out of his pocket and unlocked the screen. Immediatly he felt like the walls were closing in on him again.  
**Asshole (11:15) what class are u in now?**  
Why? Why did he care? Why was he beeing so nosey? Usually when Mickey texted it was because he wanted something. He either wanted Ian to come to him or cum for him. He remebered the first time he asked him for a picture. He didn't want to do because he felt violated. Sex was one thing but stopping what he was doing to take a picture of himself. He wasn't shy by any means, he was actually quite proud of himself downstairs but with Mickey it just felt weird, especially since normally he would send dick pics to guys he planned to fuck. It wasn't until Mickey that he'd ever been fucked instead. He shook his head trying to focus his thoughts. He didn't want his brother to notice his sudden change and start asking questions so he lied and sent a simple answer.  
**Ian (11:22) Biology**  
Mickey didn't know anything about Biology. He was a highschool drop out so why was he so nervous when he sent the message. It's not like the guys was going to give him a pop quiz or something.  
“You ok man” Lip said and tapped him on the shoulder.  
“yea why” he replied and looked up at his brother.  
“Well your staring at your phone like it's gonna bite you or something”  
He flipped his phone around in his hands “Oh yea no I'm fine just talking with Mandy”...great now he was lying to his brother. Whatever what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him. He just wished Mickey would leave him alone, not like he was going to see him tonight or anything. The guy was so controlling. He thumbed his fingers over the dark screen as his brother continued to talk.  
“all he did was call her a whore man and she lost her mind. You should see it, she moved into her basement dude. It looks like something straight out of a horror movie. She went all Carrie down there with red spray paint. I don't know man I told you we attract crazy, I mean Karen she's uh she's something else”  
“Wow man. That's pretty fucked up” Ian replied in shock that his brother was so chill about banging a girl this crazy. He wasn't being forced to stay but he was thinking with his dick so he didn't really feel bad for him. His phone buzzed and lit up.  
“Dude just tell her your busy. She just saw you this moring, you'd think the chick was you girlfriend”  
Ian laughed at the audacity in that statement. Mandy did have a crush on him when they first met but once he admitted he was gay she turned into his best friend. He loved her like his own family, maybe more sometimes. He opened the message and felt a chill up his spine.  
**asshole (11:30) u see Mandy today?**  
Why was he asking that?  
**Ian (11:31) In between classes yea**  
He was starting to feel nauseous. Mickey hadn't said anything but just the way Mandy was talking was enough to make him question the conversation.  
“Yo” his brother said pulling him from his thoughts “This is our stop. Come on”  
He slipped his phone into his pocket and painted on the fake smile he had learned to wear as his own. They got off the train about 4 blocks from the theater. They walked in silence sharing a cigarte. Lip glanced over at him a few times and he would raise his brows as if to say what and his brother would turn away. It was the same theater that he went to with Mickey and Mandy. Of course it was. Just another reminder of his reality.To be honest they didn't need to take the train, they had walked last time and it took about 30 minutes. His phone vibrated again his pocket as the walked through the entrance and up too the booth. His phone buzzed again and he pulled it from his pockt.  
“Seriously dude” lip said handing him his ticket “ just shut it off cause we're going to the movie”  
“You know I can't do that lip neither can you what if carl or debb..”  
“Yea whatever just try to have a good time man. That's why we are here”  
Ian nodded as they walked to the concession stand. He looked down at his phone discretley.

 **Asshole (11:45) U know what me too. She came by the store this morning**  
**Asshole (11:46) she had a lot of shit to talk about Gallagher, lot of shit that wasn't her** **business**  
“what do you want?” Lip looked at him to pointed the the sign above the stand.  
“I don't care we can just share a popcorn or something” he replide completely distracted by Mickeys message. It wasn't that. No way Mickey would be so chill. He would have called him out right away. What if it was? He knew where he went to school. What if he came looking for him? Mickey was that crazy and if Mandy had talked to him. Fuck.  
**Ian (11:53) She did? like what?**  
Time stood still as he followed his brother to the door where the usher was sitting. The older man ripped a sqaure off their tickets and pointed them to the direction of the movie. They walked inside just as the previews started playing. His phone buzzed again. The lump in his throat was hard to swallow as his eyes scrolled over the newest message.  
**Asshole (12:00) u don't know?**  
No he didn't know did he? No way. Mandy saw how freaked out he was she wouldn't talk to him right? Fuck! Fuck!...Just relax...He would have said something, everything is fine. Play it cool.  
**Ian (12:02) No she didn't say anything to me**  
“Dude come on! Put it away” Lip whispered harshly as they took their seats in the top row. This was quickly becoming his favorite place to sit to see a movie. He loved that no one was behind him, and he could look out at the whole room with a birds eye view.  
“Sorry man. Girls you know?” He replied still holding on tightly to his phone.  
“yea I know” Lip said laughing quietly and shoving him playfully in the shoulder with his free hand, the other holding the popcorn on his lap.

The previews seemed to go forever before the room slowly faded to black and the screen lit up with the familiar logo of Marvel Studios. He was actually very excited for this movie. He was a huge comic book fan. Everything from DC to Marvel. His favorite was DC because he was a huge fan of the Joker but he felt like he could also relate to Peter Parker...or at least he could, wanting to fix all the evil in the world and still maintaining a teenage life. A boy could dream. He had put his phone on vibrate but the blue light on the top was flashing against his skin. He glanced over at his brother whose eyes were fixed on the screen as he shoved fistfulls of buttered popcorn into his mouth. He unlocked his screen and quickly adjusted the brightness so his phone didn't stand out amongst the dark theater giving him away. He opened the next message and knew he had fucked up. He sunk down in his chair feeling like all eyes were on him when reality he was the only who knew how uncomfortable he was. He re read the message before trying to feel out the hopeless situation.Who knows, maybe he was wrong?  
**Asshole (12:20) u must think i'm stupid is that it?**  
**Ian (12:21) What no why would I think that?**  
Fuck! She talked to him. She fucking talked to him. Why? What sign did he give her that it was ok to talk to anyone about him. There was none. In fact it was the opposite. This was the second time she mentioned talking to Mickey and each time ended with him snapping at her and running away. It didn't take a genius to know, he wanted it to stay between just them. FUCK!  
**Asshole (12:25) u keep fuckin lying to me that's why. I knw ur not at school Mandy told me u ditched after your little heart to heart**  
**Asshole (12:27) u think i'm some bitch u can just lie to and get away with it? U really think i wouldn't find out? How fucking stupid are you kid?**  
That's just fucking great. What an asshole! So he knew this whole time that he was lying to him but just let him dig a hole deeper and deeper. This guys was seriously twisted like who the fuck does that? He looked up the movie and saw Peter walking with Tony Stark aka Iron Man. How cool would it be to be fucking Iron Man? You would never have to take shit from anyone. Everyone would be nice to you, you could save people and destroy them with the push of a button. You could fly....  
Damn it! He needed to respond but fuck what was he supposed to say? He wasn't stupid..or was he? He must be because it was silly to think Mickey wouldn't find out about him ditching class. The guy had a way to figure out everything about him. Even if it wasn't today he would find out so why did he lie? There was nothing left to do but apologize now. Who knows maybe he wouldn't totally loose his shit..maybe. He took a deep breath as he held his phone next his side and typed the next message.  
**Ian (12:35) Please Mickey I'm sorry I shouldn't have lied to you.**  
**Asshole (12:37) ur on a roll kid. Running ur mouth to Mandy then fucking lying to me. What was going through ur stupid fucking head ian when u were telling my bitch sister MY fucking business?**  
Shit! What the fuck did she tell him? He had told her details, basically everything just omitting Mickeys name. She wouldn't give him those details would she? Why? Why did he think he would be able to talk to someone? He should have know better and just kept the shit to himself. He was doing fine. Fucking Mandy .god damn it!  
**Ian (12:45) I'm sorry I didn't mean to. She just kept pushing. I didn't mean to tell her please you gotta believe me.**  
He sounded like such a pussy. He hated it. Ian Gallagher did not beg..at least he didn't not for anything. Mickey though...the guy had found away to twist the thoughts in his brain to the point where he found himself not only begging now but apologizing for everything. He had become everything he promised he wouldn't but what did it matter. At least he knew the rules now like he told Mandy. When he listened to the rules sex was great and his b....Mickey. ….Mickey was actually nice in his own way. He knew better than to do what he did. He knew as soon as he did it so all he could do was apologize. He sat back and waited for a response.  
**Asshole (1:10) i dont gotta to do shit kid. ur the one who fckd up not me.**  
**Asshole (1:12) u been a bad boy Ian. What happens to bad boys hmm?**  
He felt a warmth spread through his body as he read the words on the dimly lit screen. He hated how his body and mind were now closing the gap that had formed between them. He loved sex and now..he loved sex with Mickey. He could never see himself starting it but he didn't fight anymore. Something about those dark blue eyes staring at him mischievously made him melt like butter. He didn't like Mickey though..not anymore. There may have been a time when he found him charming and cute. He even flirted with him discreetly but the way he acted when he found out he was gay was a huge turn off and then ...well this this shit happened and he hated the guy. He was sexy though. His mind had learned to love the dark twisted sexual nature of the Mickey..he craved it now. A simple text message was getting him hot yet he was terrified at the same time. What was wrong with him? He breathed in deeply and sent his reply.  
**Ian (1:20) Bad boys get punished**  
**Asshole (1:22) that's right kid and u hve been a very bad boy. What am i supposed to with you? it's clear i been to easy on u**  
He knew it would be one of two things, but most likely both. It was normally both. Mickey would freak out on him and make him feel small, worthless. He would probably hit him a few times..honestly he could never tell with that one. Who the fuck knows. Now that he thought about it he didn't know Mickey's pattern because there was none. He just did what he wanted when he wanted for whatever reason. He had no idea what he would be walking in to.  
**Ian (1:35) I don't know why you're asking me. You're gonna do what you want no matter what I say.**  
He shouldn't have said that. Why did he say that? He should have kept apologizing not be a smart ass. He couldn't help it though. He was still a teenager..what did the guy expect anyways for him to walk him through his options or something. Fucking asshole. He waited eagerly for about 10 minutes with no response. Fuck that was almost worse. He wanted to know what Mickey was thinking. The silence just meant surprise and he really didn't want to be taken by surprise again. He could do that, how would he know? He could act like he wasn't mad then randomly go psycho like he did last time. He shivered as he thought about the night in the alley. It wasn't the sex itself that was the worst part it was the surprise, the shock of it all. He had been called names many times by Mickey but that night they all felt true.  
“Holy shit did you fucking see that Ian?”  
He looked over at lips who had a wide smile on his face.  
“That was fucking great. How awesome would it be to have Tony Stark design your suit? Its like he's a miniture Iron Man....well not really but you know what I mean”  
Ian shrugged his shoulders because can honsetstly he had no idea what his brother was talking about.  
“yea that suits pretty badass” he replied looking up at the screen causing his brother to do the same. He waited and nothing. Deep breaths. What could he do about it now? He couldn't do shit so might as well enjoy his movie.

He had finally started to relax. The movie was fucking hilarious. He and his brother were randomly bursting out in laughter along with the rest of the room. Robert Downey Jr was too funny. Sure it was a Spider Man movie but as always iron man stole the show. When Tony Stark reached out to open the door and Peter hugged him. He lost it and punched his brothers arm.  
“Fuck man” he said trying to contain his laughter. “That was too funy”  
Lip grinned widely letting out a chocked laughed. “I know right... it's not a hug i'm just grabbing the door for you...classic Stark man”  
He stole a handfull of popcorn from his brother who had been hogging it the whole time. It's not like he really cared but he was getting kind of hungry.

The movie ended and they waitied for the rest of the people too leave before they stood up. As always there were bloopers and the end of the credits. This was one of his favorite parts about going to the theater. It was always a gamble. Do I leave or do I sit here in hopes to seen some behind the scenes footage or even previews for a sequal. It was worth his time to see the blooper real. When the movie was officially over he stood up and stretched his hands above his head trying to waken the sleepy limbs.  
They walked down the isle, through the main lobby and ouside into the chill Chicago afternoon.  
“Fuck it's bright out here.” he exclaimed moving his hand to his face to sheild his eyes.  
“Don't be a girl. You ready for some some food dork?”  
“Fuck you i'm not a girl.” Ian laughed and nodded his head “I could eat”  
He reached into pocket to pull out his smokes and checked his phone. He hadn't thought about his talk with Mickey until he read back through his messages.  
**Asshole (2:20) wow Gallagher maybe ur not so stupid after all.**  
What? He was so confused. It was so hard to keep up with the guy so why did he even try. One way or another he fucked up anyway. He just wanted to forget about everything for now and go have some lunch with his brother. He said the only thing that came to his mind these days, not caring if it was the right response.  
**Ian (2:23 Honestly I don't know what I am anymore**  
**Asshole (2:25) easy kid ur MINE. I OWN u.**  
**Asshole (2:26) don't worry u'll remember LOL.. I'll see u at 4 bitch**

He lit his cigarette with shaking hands and shoved his phone in his pocket. Well fuck. How was he supposed to enjoy his day now? Was that even a thing anymore? Was he even allowed to enjoy things or would that piss Mickey off too. Seriously what did the guy want from him. What was his plan here? Was he just supposed to listen to him and be with him for the rest of his life? Is that what he wanted? He had broken him. His confidence and pride that was once so attractive was now gone. Why would anyone else want to be with him? Who would want to pick up the pieces...no one would.  
It's like Mickey said the only people who seemed to gravitate towards him anyways were old men. Maybe Mickey was right...maybe he did have daddy issues. I mean Frank was a piece of shit and he didn't even know Clayton. At least with Mickey he knew the guy really liked him, for fucks sake he was obsessed with him..wasn't he? He had to be or why else would he even be in this fucked up situation right? Mickey had to actually like him he was just crazy? What if he just liked being able to contol him to break him? What if he wasn't really attracted to him and he really just a play thing to pass the time. He had said that to him once. He had told he was nothing but a warm mouth..was that still true? What if he planned on throwing him away after he was done with him. He couldn't. He would be ruined , broken, beat down..who else would want him? Would he really just get bored and toss him aside and move on too fucking up someone elses life. He took a deep drag of his cigarette, his hands still shaking as a flood of thoughts swam through his brain. Why did he care? He wanted Mickey to let him go right? Fuck. What was wrong with him? Why did he care about how Mickey felt about anything he hated the guy. He didn't care if Mickey did or didn't like him.... How could he like him though and act this way? Was he really that fucked in the head. Why did he care? He didn't fuck Mickey.

“We're here” lip replied tapping his shoulder.  
Ian looked up from his thoughts to the bowling alley in front of them.  
“Really?” he cocked his head and looked at his brother curiously.  
“Yeah really. We can get some grub, play some red vs blue. Get you out of that fucked up mind frame you're in but wont talk about” His brother replied snatching his cigarete from his and taking a drag. The smoke floated out through his nose as he stared at him quizzically  
“What?” ian said giving him half shrug.  
“Come on man. Do I have to to spell it out for you? I know you're not talking to Mandy ok”  
Ian lowered his head and started to play with the cuff of his jacket. He didn't want to think about it anymore. He just wanted it go away.  
“I get that you don't wanna talk. I'm not gonna make you , just put your stupid phone away and lets get some pizza and play some video games” lip replied holding the door open.  
Ian bit the inside or his cheek nervously then glanced up at his older brother who was standing there exspectantly.  
“I'm gonna kick your ass at Halo man” he said with a smirk and they walked inside the arcade.

 

He failed miserably not once but 4x times.  
“thought you were gonna kick my ass” lip said smugly as he put his gun back into the holster.  
“yea yea..shut up” Ian replied dismissing his brother words as they sat down at a table facing the bowling alley to eat their food. Lip orderd them a pepporni pizza with extra cheese.  
“Really? Extra cheese?” Ian replied as he pulled a greasy slice from the pie, the cheese forming a spider web as it came of the plate.  
“Oh i'm sorry GI Jane, I forgot you were trying to keep your girlish figure. When is that last time you even went to practice” Lip said amused at the way he was eyeballing his pizza.  
He took a bite and fuck was it good. The chesse was thick and creamy and the red sauce has a nice kick to it.  
“Don't wanna talk about it” he said as he took another bite.  
“I'm just saying whatever is going on Ian, don't fuck shit up ok. We are already the sterotype for poverty. It doesn't have to end here, stay in school man. Go to the fucking Army or don't but at least give yourself the option to escape this hellhole” lip replied as he popped a pepporni in his mouth.  
He sighed and set piece of pizza down on the plate. He needed something but what? He needed to  
make a change in his life something drastic, something to prove he still has some remote sence of control over his life, that he wasn't just going through the motions.  
He looked up at his brother with a straight face “I need a change Lip. I need to do something crazy you know. I need to feel something”  
“deep man” lip laughed.  
“I'm serious dude. I need change something about my life”  
“What are you gonna do Ian huh? You gonna go get your lip pierced, maybe get a back tattoo? I know how about you shave your head now that would be crazy. Seriously I don't know what you're dealing with because you refuse to talk but don't go...”  
“That's it” he said jumping up from his seat.  
“What?”  
“I'm gonna shave my head” he smiled and raised his eyes brows looking down at his brother.  
Lip stared at him in disbelief. “What? No don't do that dude. You're gonna hate it trust me”  
Ian thought about it. He really didn't want to be bald but he could go for a good buzz cut, maybe that would put him more in the mindset to go to ROTC practice.  
“Fine. I won't shave it but it's getting cut. Come on let's go”  
Lip looked down at his phone “don't you have work in like 40min?”  
Ian rested his hands on the table and pursed his lips thoughtfully.  
“You know I do but i'm not gonna go” he said finally. As confident as his words may have sounded he knew he was just digging his hole even deeper. Fuck it right? He was already in trouble he might as well take advantage of the fact and do something fun. What was Mickey going to punish him twice? No he would just deal with it tommarow but for now Mickey could go fuck himself.  
“You think your boss will fire you”  
Ian laughed at the thought. There was a time when that was a fear but he naive. There was no way Mickey would ever fire him, he needed him to be around all the time and he loved being the boss of him.  
“Na Mickey will be fine. I'll text him” he lied.  
“Well alright dude. You sure about this?”  
“Yes i'm fucking sure let's go”

 

 

They got back to the house as it was getting dark. He loved his new haircut. It was honestly just a different style but it was shorter too. It was exactly what he needed. They had stopped at the mrket on the way home using the rest of Lips essay money to buy dinner. They walked in the front door to see Fiona and Vee siting down on the table.  
“Hey there Ian”  
“Hey Vee” he waived taking his jacket off and hanging it up on the door.  
His sister walked over to him and ran her fingers over his head.  
“What did you do to your hair?”  
“I cut it obviously” he said amused at the way she was staring at him. He pushed her hand away and ran it over his head. “What? You don't like it?”  
“No I think it's great” Fiona replied walking back over to the table “ Makes you look real mature doesn't it Vee”  
“mm hmm Looking good Ian. Gonna have to beat em off with a stick now”  
Ian laughed at the comment and walked into the living room.  
“Hey Ian Mickey Milkovich came by here looking for you today, said you never showed up for work” Fiona called out.  
Fuck! What was he thinking? He should have known he would look for him. Now he knew he was in serious shit. It was one thing to know he was in touble but Mickey closed the store and drove to his house to find him.  
“Yea it's fine i'll talk to him” he called back.  
His phone had died earlier at the bowling alley but he didn't care then. He was home now and that nagging feling had settled into the pit of his stomach so he got up and went upstairs to grab a charger. He was about to enter his room when he heard sobbing coming from the bathroom. He knocked gently with his knuckle on the door.  
“Go away” debbies voice came through, he could here that she was crying.  
“It's me Debs you ok?”  
He waited a moment and his little sister pulled open the bathroom door. His heart broke seeing her so sad. He face was red and puffy from crying her red hair sticking to her face.  
“What's goin on kiddo?” he said following her inside.  
She sat down on the tub and looked up at him with he big brown eyes “the girls at school don't like me” she sniffled.  
Ian squatted down so he eye level with his little sister “What make you think that?”  
She rubed her red eyes with her palm and sniffed “They called me a ginger and told me I don't have a soul. They said i'm weird because of my freckles and ..and they called me raggedy ann”  
Ian smiled admiring his sisters innocence. He remebered not so long ago when he was being made fun of for the way he looked. Now it was something he was comfortable with. He liked the way he looked and he knew his sister would eventually.  
“Don't listen to those assholes Debs. They are just jealous cause you're special.” he replied and sat down next to. He draped his arm over her shoulder. “You and me we're special, different. People see that and it scares them, but guess what? They will never be as special as you, they will be just like everybody else.”  
“Really?”  
He smiled down at his sister whos face was no longer filled with tears.  
“Really. Don't ever let anyone tell you your not special ok. Never let them try to change you or tell you what to do. We're Gallaghers Debbie. We are tough and those girls at school and everyone else in the world can go fuck themselves alright?”  
His sister was staring at him with admiration, her brown eyes beaming as she wrapped her arms around him.  
“Thanks Ian. I feel better now”  
“Good” he replied standing up and walking to the door “Now go downstairs and eat, we brought home burgers”  
“Score!” Debbie yelled excitiedly jumping up from the tub and running down the stairs.

 

It felt good to help his sister in the moment but as sat on his bed staring at the missed calls from Mickey on his phone he felt like a fraud. Who was he to give her advice about anything when he couldn't handle his own life? He kicked of his shoes and stretchde out on his bed. He thought about texting Mickey but there was no point. The only thing that would do is let him know he was home and he didn't dout he would make up any reason to come by. Fuck it. He closed his eyes and tried to relax. He was done, ready for the day to be over. He was starting to drift off when he heard Fiona calling his name.  
“Ian come on get down here!”  
ughhh ..he just wanted to fucking sleep. “What?” he yelled.  
“Come hang out with us. Kev brought over..” he listened with a smile on his face as his sister argued with her friend “Tombstone really?”  
“What I like classics” Kev responded.  
“Oh my god fine. He brought over Tombstone, we're gonna have a movie night” she hollerd.  
Her voice sounded so excited but he also could hear the desperation. He had pushed everyone away, her the most. He would come home and lock himself in his room yelling at anyone who tried to talk to him. Today was nice though, hanging out with Lip. It was a good distraction instead of being burried in his thoughts. He layed in bed for a moment longer then decided why not? He liked westerns and he loved him family.  
“I'll be right down” he called. He grabbed his phone from his charger and slipped it in his pocket. Like a cruel joke it started ringing again. It was Mickey. He knew Mickey would keep trying to call or text him all night. No, he decided and threw it on the bed. Let it die again. Everyone he wanted and needed in his life was here. In this moment he was here with his family that loved him. He couldn't fix anything else, he had no control over anything else but he did have control over this. He closed the door to his room and headed downstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was trying to convey a true sense of giving up, being broken. He's brainwashed. hes actually to the point where he thinks even though he hates Mickey maybe hes better with him. Who else would want him? Maybe Mickey is right. I


	19. All Eyes On You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian goes to work and Mckey confronts him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is much shorter than the last one because like i said i split the really long chapter in half. I hope you enjoy it and notice the subtle changes. xoxo.

He could not keep his eyes off the clock. Every minute that crept closer to 4pm was driving him crazy. Ian had not returned any of his calls or texts and that pissed him off. Kid thinks he can just lie to him and ignore him. Fucking little bitch, who did he think he was dealing with. Not only that but he had told Mandy something that led her to find him out. I mean come on..comparing him to Terry. He was nothing like that piece of shit...was he? Fuck no. He actually cared for Ian. Terry never cared for anyone but himself and event then he did a piss poor job. Fuck. He can't believe his sistre knew he was gay. He'd lived with the secret so long he never pictured a day when he would tell anyone, especially not Mandy. Now she knew not only that but that he was fucking with Ian. He didn't know what she was thinking telling him to “be better”. How was he supposed to just be better? He didn't even feel like he was that bad in the first place. He made what he wanted very clear so if Ian didn't listen it was his fault right? Fucking bitch. Getting in his head making him question himself. The way she talked when he said he had feeling for Ian was like he had a shot. There was no chance in hell. He gave up on the prospect that Ian would want to be with him a long time ago. That was when he decided this fantasy he had created was damn near perfect. That was until shit like yesterday when the kid fucking lies to him and then ditches work.

 

He heard the back door close shut and looked over to see Ian standing there walking over put his stuff away.

“Gallagher” he said calmly as he observed the boys new haircut. It was cute, made him look older but he liked his hair the way it was. Ian placed his stuff in the cubby and started walking from the counter when Mickey reached out and grabbed his wrist.

“What not even gonna say hi” he said and tossed the boys wrist aside.

“Hi Mickey” Ian replied softly then quickly walked over to the storage shelf . Mickey stood up from his chair and swiftly followed him.

“That it? You got nothin else to say?” he says grabbing him by the arm and turning his around.

“I..I don't know what I should say. I already said i'm sorry” Ian replied glancing up at him the averting his eyes.

“Sorry doesn't mean shit kid. You fucked up. Did you think by not showing up last night that would make things better?”

Ian looked at him blankly staying silent.

Mickey licked his lips and pushed him backwards.

“You fuckin deaf?”

“no mickey I just..I'm sorry ok. I should have come in” Ian stammered.

“yea that would have been smart, but clearly you're fucking stupid aren't you” he replied and pushed him hard so that he landed against the shelf.

“Mickey please I said...

“I don't wanna hear it. I wanna know what you were thinking Ian? You cut your hair? MY hair. Your mine, everything about you is mine so why the fuck would would you do that” he snaps

“I don't know”

Really? He didn't fucking know? How hard was it to answer the fucking question. This is the shit that pissed him off.

“You don't fucking know? You just woke up yesterday and decided to be a massive fuck up that it? Hey maybe i'l go tell Mandy a sob story then ditch class and cut my hair. And top it all off i'm gonna ditch work cause Mickey is a bitch and he can handle it”

“No Mickey that's not”

“Shut the fuck up!” he yelled and raised his hand to smack him but stopped as he looked into his eyes.

They were scared and confused and in that moment he looked beautiful and innocent. Mickey stared for a moment at the kid before he pushed him up against the wall and and latched his lips to his. He felt Ian's body relax as he kissed him. He gripped the boy's waist firmly. Ian's tongue was moving timidly in his mouth.

“Mic..” Ian tried to speak pulling back from the kiss but he cut him off with a finger to his lips.

“I said shut the fuck up” he replied and closed the distance between them again. He knew if Ian kept talking he would just get angrier.He let his tongue move roughly around the boy's mouth, pulling him in closer. He could feels Ian's hands moving down to his waist as he pressed his hardness up against him. That was weird, Ian never touched him unless he had to. He never did it willingly.

“What are you doing?” Mickey pulled back and stared at Ian.

“Nothing I wanted ..”

“What? Now you want to touch me? All this time nothing but now that you know you royally fucked up you wanna touch me.” He sneered. “Fuck you”

He grabbed Ian's hands violently and shoved them above his head.

“They stay here. You keep your hands to your fucking self. I can touch you, you're mine. Don't fucking touch me unless I tell you to”

Ian nodded and held his hands above his head.

He glared at him a moment long enough to make him squirm under his gaze then he pressed his body against his, nuzzling his face in his neck.

Ians skin is soft under his lips and he can feel the fast pounding of the boy's heart as his mouth moved a long his neck leaving behind tiny marks. He didn't care if they were visible Ian was his. Knowing the kid wanted to touch him even if for a moment made him want to fuck him even more. He looked up into the boy's green eyes. They were laced with fear and want, the cocktail of confusion that made Mickey want to control to dominate.

 

*************************(Joint POV)

 

He moved his hands down to the hem of the boys shirt preparing to lift it over his head when he heard the ring of the doorbell.

"Fuck" he shouted annoying at how careless he had been for not locking the door.

He stepped back from the boy just in time to here his bitch sister.

"What are you two douchebags doing? You know this is the south side right? People are gonna jack shit if you're back there"

Mickey looked over at his sister and rolled his eyes. He glanced over at Ian lingering on him for a moment as if to say we're not done here then turned to walk to his sister.

"Shut the fuck up bitch. Why are you even here" he said plopping down in his chair.

"I wanted to see Ian you got a problem with that Mick?” he watched as Mandy scoped out the redhead still leaning against the wall “ Holy shit Ian your hair! Looks fucking hot"

"Thanks Mandy" ian replied forcing himself to smile and step away from the wall he was previously pinned to.

"Got it done yesterday, figured i needed a change so why not"

Mickey looked between them and rolled his eyes "haven't you ever heard of texting? Some people actually work Mandy. Ian is at work so how bout u fuck off"

"I just got here asshole. I don't plan on leaving. I won't interrupt Ian while he works scouts honor"

Ian laughs at his friend. "Fucking dork"

"Well you're lucky he decided to grace us with his presence or else your little trip would have been a waste of fucking time" mickey said sharply then pulled his magazine out of the cubby under the counter.

"Geez Mickey why you always gotta be such a dick?” Mandy said promptly receiving his middle finger in return. His sister walked over to where Ian was working.

“ Anyways Ian, I was thinking we should go see a movie soon. I feel like we haven't hung out, just me and you in forever. You're always around my fucking brother. It's almost like you're his prisoner or something"

Ian glances over at Mickey who is now glaring at him. "Uh yea that sounds great Mands. We should go tomorrow for sure" he again glances back over to the desk but he can tell Mickey is now avoiding both of them staring at his magazine He walks over to the the snack aisle and starts organizing the gum. "Really? Great! What time should I pick you up?" she replies twirling her hair in her fingers and grabbing a bag of doritos from the shelf.

Ian doesn't know what to say. He works tomorrow and he should go to school. He could miss just 1 more day. He can feel their eyes on him. He looks up and nervously glances between the two " how about noon? We could eat somethin first"  
Mickey can't help but be annoyed at the conversation. What was with this kid and missing school?

"Yea you sure about that Gallagher? Don't u have class until 230?" He raised a brow and looked over to the boy expectantly.

"Mick if he doesn't want to go to school you can't fucking force him. He is a big boy ya know"

"I'm just saying Mandy if the kid knows what good for him he would go to fucking school."

Mickey looks at his sister "you're his fucking friend don't you think you should try and get him to do what's best for him? Make his life easier?"

"You're right Mickey and Ian knows what's best for him. Maybe that's why he wants to go to the fucking movies? Sometimes you just need to distance yourself from negative shit isn't that right Ian”

Ian smiled at Mandy unsure of how to answer but then decided fuck it. He was already in trouble, he really just didn't care about anything anymore.

“Whatever you say Mands. One more day isn't going to kill me”

"Awesome so now that's settled. What you doing later? I was wondering if you maybe wanted to hang at your house or something. Play video games"

Ian's face lit up at the idea. "Hell yea Mandy. That sounds like fun maybe we could..."  
"We have inventory tonight Red. You aint leavin here till at least 10:30"  
Ian had forgotten about inventory. "Oh yea i guess i spaced that. Whatever we can hang out after right?" He replied looking over at mandy

"Uh yea of course. Mickey do you really need Ian here hmm? He fucking works enough. He is only 16"

Mickey rubbed under his nose with his sister. Bitch was determined to fuck with him "I'm sorry Mandy but I am his fucking boss so yea. He needs to do the job he was hired to do, his age doesn't fucking matter" he snapped and pulled out his cigarettes. "I thought we couldn't smoke in here" Ian replied. "Like i told u kid if you would ever listen. I know the manager and he doesn't fucking care" he lits up his smoke taking a drag and blowing the smoke at his sister "You fucking done waistin my time yet?"

"God why're you always trying to ruin our fun? It's fuckin annoying. So Ian meet at 10:30 and walk to your house?"

"He don't need you to pick him up bitch. I'll give him a ride home. I mean if that's ok with you kid" Mickey replied and looked over at Ian who was straightening up the chips. He was doing buy work because other than inventory there was nothing to do.

"Yea of course Mickey" he replied

"That's what i like to hear" he turned to his sister "you got a problem with that?"

"You know you don't have to fucking listen to him. We can walk and he can fuck off home. Not like we need a babysitter" Mandy replies.

"It would be nice to catch up. I don't mind walking Mickey but thanks for the offer" Ian says . He was feeling bold since Mandy was there and honestly he missed his best friend. It would be nice to just walk and goof round and not have to play the victim because she promised to not bring certain things up again. "Don't be fucking stupid. i'm going there anyways so why the fuck would you walk?" Mickey replied and looked over at his sister. "Unless you plan on buying something bitch you really need to get out of my store"

"Wait why the fuck you goin there for? Nobody wants you there"

"shut up Mandy you don't know what you are talking about. You got a problem with me coming over Red?"

"Yea he's got a problem with it asshole. He wants to hang with me his actual best friend, not you. You're just his boss”

Mickey looks over at Ian "Ian tell this bitch u want me there " Ian stands there frozen not sure of what to say all eyes on him. Mandy glares at mickey then gives him a look like she's saying stop being a bitch. he was giving himself away. Why would he care what mickey thought? Mandy didn't know what was going on, she just wanted him to hang out.

"Mandy's right Mickey. We never have time just the 2 of us so..yea. We can all hang out another time" he says and mandy gives him a satisfied smirk

"See just us two will be better. You know what they say Mick three's a crowd"

"fuck you both." he says giving his sister the finger again. He licks his lips then stares at his sister "so you tellin me you're gonna show up here at 10:30 at night and you 2 are gonna fucking walk home, that it?"

"Yea that's the fucking plan. You were standing right there when we made it"

" kinda fucking stupid." he looks over at ian and rubs his nose turning to his sister "It's a dangerous neighborhood Mandy. Someone might take advantage of you if you're not careful"

There was a loud thud causing him to take his eyes from the staring contest he was having with his sister. he looked up to find Ian standing over a puddle of soda on the floor.

"the fuck Ian? What are you doing?"

Ian stared at the mess on the floor. He was getting ready to stock the coolers when he heard Mickey say something to Mandy. He couldn't help the way his body reacted, he dropped the box on the floor causing cans to bust open and spill everywhere.

"I..I'm sorry I don't know what happened"

"Fuck Ian are you alright? You kinda look like you're gonna be sick"

"Uh yea no I'm fine Mandy thanks." He said walking over to the closet to grab the mop. "Mickeys right though I'm just gonna let him take me home and honestly the more the merrier right" he smiles awkwardly.

He knows that last comment was directed at him as a warning and to be honest he does feel sick. He feels violated again. He looks over at Mickey "That sound good Mickey"

Mickey looks over at Mandy smugly and leans back in his chair "Sound like you made the right choice Gallagher. Good b..for you" he corrected himself. Fuck that was close.

"Whatever" Mandy rolls her eyes "Text me when you're released . I'll see you tonight Ian. Hope to not see you douchebag" she replied and flipped off her brother before stepping outside.

****************************************************************************

 

 

He sat in his chair and watched as Ian started inventory. Fucking kid. What was he doing to him? Now his sister was up his ass and trying to turn Ian against him. It's not like the kid was ever on his side but he wouldn't have questioned him if Mandy wasn't standing there egging him on. He knew he needed to try and have more patience and to control himself but fuck was it hard. He was still amazed that Ian had talked to Mandy. Like what the fuck was he doing? He should have known his sister would go to him, why wouldn't she? He couldn't believe Ian had dicthed work and ignored his calls and texts. He wanted to wait around his house for him to come home but he had to get back to the stupid store. Now he was here and they were alone again. He stood up from his chair and locked the door, flipping the sign over to closed. He slowly walked over to Ian who was bending over counting the middle row of drinks, his ass up in the air just begging for him to touch it. He walked up behind him ad placed his hands firmly on his waist.

“jesus Mickey” Ian jumped letting go of the door and turning around to face him “You scared the shit out of me”

“Did I?” Mickey replied coyly and moved his hands under his shirt.

“That's good. We still have things to discuss” he replied pulling the boys shirt up over his head.

Ian said nothing but stared at him, his eyes wide waiting.

“Mmm... Gallagher your skin is so fucking soft” Mickey says as he runs his hands down Ian's side. He could here the boys breath hitch at the contact.

“yea you like that don't you bitch? That's fucking right you do. You know you love it when I touch you” he slipped his hand into Ian's pants and under his boxers until he felt the warm heat from his now hard cock.

“Such a fucking slut” he whispered in his ear as he grabbed hold of Ians fullness and began to massage it with his hand.

“Hmph” Ian sighed sucking in his bottom lip.

Mickey reached up and wrapped his hand behind Ians to run his hands through the boys hair but it was no longer long enough to grasp in his fingers. He felt a twinge of anger and pulled Ians head roughly back so he had direct acess to his neck.

“I don't know who the fuck you think you are doing that shit without asking me.” he growled in his ear before biting the flesh of his earlobe and planting a kiss just below his jaw. He moved his other hand slowly over the boys shaft, he could feel Ian dripping onto his fingers as he moved back and forth.

“You've been a bad.. bad boy Gallagher” he said as his lips traced along the boys collar bone nipping at ian's freckled skin with his teeth.

“Haven't you?” He lifted his face from Ian's neck so that their eyes met. Ian stared back at him silently face flushed and his breath heavy.

“I asked you a fucking question kid so answer. You've been bad haven't you?”

“y..yes” Ian stammered as he continued to toy with him, his hand gliding slowly over his shaft.

“mmm” Mickey licked his lips and gave Ian's dick a tight squeeze “ yes what?”

“Fuck Mickey yes. Yes I've been a bad boy.” Ian gasped as his hand tightened around him.

“ fucking right you have and what happens to bad boys Ian?”

Ian looked down at him his green eyes were laced with lust and desire and just a hint of fear.

“They get punished” Ian spoke softly, the sound of his voice was intoxicating as the words floated into Mickey's ears.

“Yes they do” he replied pulling his hand from Ian's pants. He stuck one of his fingers in his mouth licking it seductively as Ian stared down at him with a raw intensity that only fed his need more.

“I'm gonna fuck the shit out of you kid” he replied darkly , his voice dropping an octave. He quickly grabbed Ian by the waist and flipped him around so that his body was now pressed up against the cooler door. He yanked down the boy's pants. He pressed up against him so that he could look into his eyes as he raked his fingers across the boy's ass. He massaged his cheek for a moment lifting his hand and bringing it down with a hard slap.

“fuck” Ian whimpered after the the first hit. He let his hand linger on the warm area of flesh before spanking him again. This time he reached around the cup Ians balls in his hands.

“Such a bad boy” he purred in the boy's ear then spanked him again.

“Ah fuck” Ian hissed as his arms weakened and he fell flat against the cooler.

“That's right. You gonna be a good boy for me now?”

Ian nodded, his face still pressed up against the glass.

“good” Mickey replied trailing his fingers over the redding skin on the boys ass. He stuck a finger in his mouth and he could still taste the saltiness of the cum causing his dick to twitch in his pants.

He reached down and gently pushed his finger into the boy's entrance causing Ian to moan from underneath him.

“Fuck kid that ass is so tight” he groaned as the boys muscles pull his finger in deeper. He swirled his finger around and watched as ian squirmed beneath him. He just wanted to fuck him. God he wanted to fuck him. He was so sex with his face pressed up against the glass, his body push back onto his finger. He slowly moved his finger back and forth enjoying teasing the kid. He was ready, he reached down with his free hand and unzipped his pants.

“Fuck Mickey” ian moaned when he found his prostate.

“Tell me what you want” he demanded as he stroked himself.

“Please” Ian whimpered, standing there with his pants around his ankles , his finger moving painfully slow in a circular motion.

“say it “

“Fuck me” Ian said softly.

“Yea?” he replied pulling out his finger and smacking the boys ass hard causing him to yelp.

“ah”

Mickey pressed up against him and rested his head on the glass looking Ian in the eyes, smacking him again.

“fuck me Mickey please fuck me..Please” he panted his eyes fixed with his. He loved seeing the want, the raw sexual desire take over Ian, it was so fucking sexy.

Mickey said nothing but lifted himself off the boy soy that he was standing behind him. He took a moment to admire the red mark forming on the boys ass cheeks before spreading them apart. He lined himself up with Ian entrance and pushed in, letting the warm of his body engulf him.

“So good” he moans as he bottoms out.

He thrust into Ian hard eliciting a chocked gasp “Yes...fuck me”

“I'm gonna” he replied and wrapped his hands around Ian's waist pulling his hips towards him.

He pumped into him faster letting ian's noises fuel him.

“uh..fuck. Mmm”

He swore he could come just from the moans alone.

“Yea you take that cock bitch.” he panted as thrust into him deeper “just like that”

He ran his hands up the boys back and he could feel the boy shiver at the sensation. He grabbed his shoulder tightly and used them as support as he pounded Ian against the glass door.

“Mickey fuck..right there” Ian cried out when he found his prostate.

“Yea?” he said and pushed into him deeper reaching around to grabs Ians hard cock.

“Mickey”

“Hmm?” he said mischievously leaning over to whisper in the boy's ear.

“You wanna cum don't you?”

“yes..please don't stop” Ian licked his lips as he pushed his hips back and forth against him, fucking into him.

“look at you. Such a good boy.” he groaned mesmerized by Ian coming undone beneath him with each thrust of his hips. He felt the warm feeling building up and knew he wasn't going to last much longer.

He moved his hands faster over Ian's cock and he could feel the boy contracting around him.

“Fuck” moaned as he came filling up the boy's hole.

“Shit..Mickey..fuck” Ian called out going limp beneath him. His hand was covered in hot cum. He collapsed on top of him the boy catching his breath.

“Fuck kid. That was...that was fucking hot as hell” he panted. He kissed Ians back before pulling off of him and pulling his pants up with one hand.

He walked to that bathroom and washed his hands. He wiped the sweat from his face with a paper towel and now he was good to go. Fuck. That kid was too much. He was perfect and the way he was resting back against him. Fuck. He was getting hard just thinking about it. He adjusted himself and walked out of the bathroom. Ian had pulled his pants up and was now just sitting on the floor.

“get up kid. Get cleaned up we got shit to do” he glanced over at the clock it was already 9pm.

“I just need a minute” Ian replied still breathing heavily.

Mickey rubbed his nose and glanced at the clock again. “You uh, you can just leave whenever” he replied and turned to walk back to the register.

“I thought you said we have inventory?”

Mickey turned the sign over and unlocked the door. “We do. I just don't need you. Call fucking Mandy and fuck off” he replied and flipped open his magazine.

He felt Ian's eyes staring at him and it was annoying. This is what he gets for trying to be nice. Fuck being nice.

“the fuck are you looking at?”

“I'm just confused why are you..”

“What I tell you about asking fucking questions. Just call my sister and fuck off. Don't make me say it again Gallagher”

“Yea..um Ok. Thanks I guess”

“Fuck off” he replied flipping him off and going back to his magazine.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize for the horrific number of typos, just edited again. I was in a hurry to post cause everyone came home so now its fixed xo


	20. So Fucking Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey goes over to the Gallagher house and learns some interesting news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay guys. This chapter is not as long as my usual ones. been working on the outline for this and GI, kinda got away from me lol. Thanks to my Mandy.. Jessica92 for being there for me to inspire and keep me on track as well as be my Ian when i need it. We create a lot of the dialogue together and it's magic xo. Got some comments i need to follow up on but i got you. xoxo i hope you enjoy. It's late so i apologize for any errors you may find.

Mickey walked up the stairs to the Gallagher house. He found himself unable to stay away. Every time he stopped by and visited with Fiona it fed into his twisted reality that Ian and him were actually a couple. He was able to learn things about him he wouldn't have otherwise. He loved to watch Ian move through his house and interact with his family. He loved knowing that anytime he wanted, with a simple look he could follow the boy out side or upstairs and have his way. It was a different kinda of high being with Ian in his own home. He felt unbelievably close to the kid, so here he was about to knock on the door searching for another hit to feed his addiction.

 

He knocked on the door and was greeted by Fiona.

“Mickey! What a nice surprise come on in”

“Hey” he replied and walked through the door and over to the table.

He noticed Fiona's friend Veronica was there and she was giving him a dirty look.

“Ian here?”

Fiona sat down at the table and handed him a beer. “Uh yea he's upstairs cleaning his room. Is everything OK?”

Mickey popped the tab on the beer and took a long swig, wiping his mouth with his hand. He looked over at Fiona and smiled.

“Everything's good just thought if was here I'd say hi. I came by to see you”

Fiona looked over at Vee and blushed.

“Well there's nothin exciting going on here. Just the same old Gallagher drama” she laughed nervously.

“mm” he hummed and took another sip of the beer. He needed to make small talk until Ian undoubtedly came downstairs.

“That's not what I heard.”

Fiona looks at him curiously tilting her head “What did you hear?”

“Ian told me you got a new job. That's exciting” he says with a fake smile because honestly he could care less.

Fiona rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair.

“It's as good as it sounds. The Manager is a pig”

“Pig? He's a fucking perverted freak show” Vee replied.

“He thinks just because he is the boss he can make them do whatever he wants”

Mickey shifted in his seat uncomfortably wondering where this conversation was going.

“Come on Vee Mickey doesn't want to hear about that” Fiona replied and grabbed a cigarette from the pack on the table.

“Na it's fine. You guys talk about your shit. I'm just enjoying this beer and the company”

“Look at you Milkovich rolling out the charm” Veronica says with a sarcastic smile. Fiona was one thing but this bitch was making him nervous.

“Whatever I'm just saying I came over to see what's new so fucking finish your story” he replies and reaches for a smoke himself.

“Well this sick bastard is forcing the girls at the supermarket to blow him and it's fucking disgusting. Who does the think he is?” Veronica says her voice echoing through the kitchen

Fiona takes a drag of her cigarette and looks at him “The fucked up part is that the girls are OK with it. He gives them good schedules in exchange. I mean come on have some self respect right?”

“Yea” he replies taking a drag “that's pretty fucked up”

He glances to the stairs hoping that Ian would come down soon and he could leave the conversation. He didn't want to think about the dude at Fiona work and his activities, it only made him think about his relationship with Ian. He wasn't some scummy perve though. He actually liked the kid, always had. It's not his fault it worked out the way it did. He tried to give Ian the choice but when he called him out in the walk in, he felt an overwhelming need to prove him wrong. The kid enjoyed it. He may have resisted before but now he begged for it. It was not the same. He kept repeating those words in his head as the two women continued to talk about how terrible the guy was. He heard Ian's voice upstairs and felt a wave of relief. He looked at the stairs eagerly until he saw his redhead walking down.

“Rooms picked up. Made Carl clean out under the bed. Look what I found” he held up a pair of brass knuckles and a butcher knife.

Fiona shook her head and opened her hand. Ian gave her the knife. “I want those too”

“What? Come on Fi finders keepers. I'm not a fucking kid” Ian replied.

“Fine” she said after a few moments giving him a dismissive wave of her hand.

Ian put the brass knuckles around his hand and sat down next to him at the table.

“Moring Red”

Ian looked over at him with his fake smile “Uh hey Mickey.” he replied and started fiddling with his new found prize.

Fiona got up from the table and walked over to the fridge pulling a piece of paper down that was pinned with a magnet. She casully walks back over to the table and sets the paper down, folding her arms and resting them on the table.

“So I wanted to do this earlier but I keep missin you. It seems like you're never here anymore” she said and glanced over at him.

“I know you work a lot and that important but school is important too. I'm sure Mickey would agree with me”

“Absolutely” he said firmly and put out his smoke, grabbing another.

“Fi can we do this another time” Ian replied at looked at his sister.

“Come on kid. It's clearly important to your sister so maybe you should listen” Mickey replied. He was curious to see what the girl had to say.

“thank you Mickey but I got it”

“Whatever” he leaned back in his chair and kept quiet.

“This came in the mail Friday.” she replied and lifted up the piece of paper.

“What is it?” Mickey asked not able to contain his curiosity.

She unfolded the paper and read it aloud.

 

_**Fiona Gallagher** _

_**2119 S Homan Ave** _

_**Chicago IL, 60623** _

 

_**Dear Fiona Gallagher** _

_**Ian Gallagher has had excessive unexcused absences and/or tardiness to school, which is in violation of our attendance policy. He has __12_ days of unexcused absences and/or been tardy___4__ times. As of July 28, 2011, Public Act 97-0218 (105 ILCS 5/26-2a) was passed in Illinois. This Public Act changed the definition of chronic truancy to 10% of the school year (18 days) as opposed to 15% of the school year (22 days). If your child’s attendance approaches chronic truancy, you will be referred to the Rock Island County Regional Office of Education, Prevention Services/Truancy Department. To prevent this from happening, please provide documentation for any future absent days. Your child’s future success in life and work require good attendance habits, which are formed when they are very young. It is very important for the educational well being of your child to attend school regularly.** _

 

_**Respectfully,** _

_**Principle Adams** _

_**Thomas Kelly High school** _

 

Wow, 12 days! What the hell was wrong with this kid. Was he trying to fuck up his life? What was he fucking doing in that time cause he wasn't with him. He sat there and stared at Ian waiting for the kid to say something. The kid sat there silently and he couldn't bite his tongue any longer.

“That's a lot of fucking school to miss kid”

Ian gave him a condescending look and rolled his eyes. It took every ounce of strength to not slap the smugness of his face so instead he focused his attention on his sister waiting for her to speak.

 

“Ian, this is not OK. You know school is important. What's going on with you?” Fiona ask, her eyes are full of concern.

Ian glances down at the table then up at his sister.

“What does it fucking matter Fiona huh? Why do you even care. Why do either of you care?” he snaps.

“You both fucking dropped out. This is the South Side, that's what people like us do right? What's the point in trying?”

The boy jumped up from the table.

“Sit down Ian we're not done here” Fiona said firmly.

“No Fiona back off. We are done here. I don't have anything to say to anyone” Ian replies and glances over at him.

He feels hot. He wants to get up and grab the kid and remind him of his place. He takes a deep breath and licks his lips.

“Ay. Your sisters bein nice, maybe you should sit down and listen to what she has to fuckin say” he replies his eyes fixed with Ian's.

Ian looks at the ground for a moment “I don't have to do anything. I'm not a kid so stop treating me like one” he replies and runs out the door slamming it behind him.

 

"Dammit!" Fiona sighs and slams her hand down on the table.  
"He just wont talk to me anymore"  
"Don't be so hard on yourself Fi. Hes a teenager, they can be a fuckin nightmare" Veronica says and gives Fiona a hug.  
Ugh no thank you. He did not want to be of this emotional display.  
"I'm gonna go see if i can't talk some since into the kid" mickey says and stands up from the table slamming the rest of his beer and putting his smokes in his jacket.  
"Thank you mickey. You have a way with him, he seems to listen to you"  
He scratches his neck.  
"Yea i guess he does so i'm gonna go and try and find him" he waves half halfheartedly and walks outside closing the door behind him. He sees Ian sitting at the bottom of the stairs. We walks over him and smacks him firmly upside the head. "Ay. The fuck was that about?"

"What do you mean?" Ian says and looks up at him.

really? This kid was going drive him crazy. He knew some of what Ian said was directed at him and even if it wasn't, Fiona didn't deserve that disrespect. They were not friends but he still thought she deserved more.

"Don't play dumb bitch. That shit with your sister. What makes you think you can go around disrespecting people like that? You think because she's family you can get away with that shit? You think because shes there you can get away talking to me like that?" he says and rubs his nose standing over the kid.

Ian looks up and him then nervously brings his legs to his chest hugging them tightly. "I just..I'm sorry I didn't mean to piss you off. Fiona though, you know she shouldn't be up in my business. It's not like she graduated high school"

Mickey leaned against the railing. "So what? She had to take care of your ass right? You and the rest of your fucking family. What she did was for you so show some fucking respect" he was about to say something else when he felt a drop of rain on his arm, then another. Soon it was pouring down.

"Fuck" he yelled and shook the water from his arm. He looked over at Ian who was just sitting there letting the water bounce of his skin, and soak through the thin layer of clothes he had on. The kid never had a fucking jacket like ever. He rolled his eyes and took of his jacket. "Here. Put this on before you get fucking sick or something" he says handing it over to Ian .

"Thanks.” Ian says and put the jacket on. “ Yea... she did take care of us but I'm not a kid anymore. I don't need anyone to take care of me. School seems kinda pointless now anyways"

"Don't be fucking stupid Ian." he said with a sigh. Dammit. Now he was cold fuck. "Come on" he said grabbing ian's arm forcefully and prompting him to stand up. "It's fucking cold as shit out here go to the van.

They walked across the yard to the broken down van and climbed inside. He rubbed his hands together trying to warm up and looked over at Ian. "It's like you wanna piss me off .” he said lowly “12 fucking days! The fuck is wrong with you?"

"Sorry I..I didn't know I've missed so many days"

"hmph" he laughed looking at Ian un amused "How do you not know that shit? You're the one skipping fuckin school, no one else. I swear you act like an idiot sometimes kid"

He couldn't believe how the boy acted sometimes. It was like he was oblivious to the fact he was fucking up his future of he really didn't care. He knew what he was about to say was mean but he couldn't help it. Ian had a way of pushing his buttons without even trying.

"You're lucky I put up with your ass Gallagher, no ones likes dealing with a fucking child. Always acting like you don't know right from wrong, like you're fucking stupid"

"I'm sorry Mickey.” the boy replied playing with the sleeve of his jacket. He looked up at him through his lashes “It's hard though sometimes cause the days kinda blur together. I really hadn't realized how much school I missed"

"well maybe you wouldn't have that problem if you didn't fucking ditch in the 1st place" he replied and propped his feet on the dashboard.  
"I know but I couldn't help it the first time. Since then I just can't concentrate"

"I don't wanna hear your excuses Ian. It seems like that's all you have now. Do you like pissing me off ? Do you because that's all you're doing right now with this school bullshit" he replied trying to stay calm. He was sick of telling the boy to go to fucking school. He wasn't his fucking parent.

"No Mickey. I don't like pissing you off. I don't" Ian replies and reaches into the glove compartment and pulls out joint "you wanna smoke?"

"Gimme that" Mickey says and snatches the joint from his hand and pulls a lighter from his pocket. "Nice to see you're not totally useless"

"Uh..yea. I thought that you might want to smoke. That's Lip's but he'll get over it"

"Fuck that guy." Mickey replies as he takes a long hit from the joint. "I swear Red your too fucking nice to be a Gallagher sometimes, I don't get how you are related to that asshole"

"He's not so bad once you get to know him." Ian replied.

"yea I'm sure" he said taking another hit of the joint and passing it back to him "You really think school is stupid cause you're South Side? You think it's pointless?"

"Not only cause I'm south side. That's part of it but other reasons too" Ian says taking a hit.

He leans over and grabs the joint from Ian “Just cause you from this shit hole doesn't mean you have to be stuck here. You have a chance to actually do shit with your life man. If I could go back in time I would, huge fuckin mistake dropping out”

Ian looks over at him curiously "Did you ever think about going back? You know finishing?"

"nah kid, that time is long gone" he said staring at the windshield. The rain was coming down hard now, he couldn't even see the back yard anymore. "I'm right where i need to be, stuck in this fucking shit hole ghetto" he sighed and took and took a hit letting the smoke float out his nose. He passed it back over to Ian still staring absently at the glass in front of him.

"You're happy though right...for the most part?"

Why did he care if he was happy? He looks over at Ian. He's staring at him with his green eyes that are now bloodshot. He looks so beautiful with his pale skin and freckled face, so innocent and naive. He was everything that he ever wanted but knew he could never really have. "As happy as I'm ever gonna get right?" he replies and grabs the joint from him. He takes a long hit letting the smoke fills his lungs and leans over. He pulls Ian's face to his and presses their lips together gently blowing his hit into the boys mouth. He pulls away letting him lips lingers on the boys for a moment before sitting back. Ian blows out the smoke and coughs slightly before beginning to laugh.

“you're so grabby Mickey” he says with a wide grin “ Always touching me. How do you like it hmm?" Ian laughs at him and reaches over smacking his cheek playfully.

His first instinct is to grab the boys hand and yell at him but he's surprised by the boys brazenness so for some reason he didn't. Instead he stared at the kid. He was right. He did want to touch him. He wanted to feel every inch of him and be inside of him. Ian still had grin on his face and he can't help but feel warm inside instead of his usual anger.

"Oh yea tough guy" he says and leans his seat back. "Get you're ass over here" he reached over and grabbed the boy by his waist pulling him on top of him.

 

Ian is sitting on top of him staring down, he moves his hands up under the boys shirt gliding them up the soft skin of his back.

“You're a fucking pain in my ass you know that?” he says as his hands run down Ian's sides and land on the top of his jeans.

“I'm sorry” the boy says softly and looks at him.

“mm shut the fuck up and kiss me” he replies and Ian leans down to meet his lips. His mouth tastes like smoke and mint and its intoxicating. He pulls the boys hips down on him so that he can feel his hardness pressing up against him as there tongues swirl in each others mouth.

“you're such a dirty boy” he says pulling away and looking at the kid. Ian is slowly grinding down on him on his own and it feels so good. He needs to fuck him. He kisses him one more time biting Ian's bottom lips as he pulls away.

“Get in the back” he demands as Ian moves against him.

He watches as the boy climbs off of him and over the seats into the back of the van. He follows him after locking the doors and now they are both on there knees in the bed of the van.

Ian is staring at him, he can see the lust in his eyes and wants to be inside him.

“Take off your clothes” he says as he pulls off his shirt.

He watches as Ian pulls off his shirt.

“Slower” he says wanting to enjoy this moment. Ian has no resistance he wants to be fucked as much as Mickey wants it. It's been this way for a while but watching him in the bed of the van, his eyes glazed over as the rains pours down on the outside of the van, it's almost picture perfect.

Ian reaches for the bottom of his grey t-shirt and slowly pulls it up over his head before tossing it to the side next to him. He begins to undo his jeans.

“mm stop. Lay down” Mickey replies.

Ian lays down the top of his jeans are unbuttoned and ready to come off. Mickey grabs the legs of his jeans and slowly pulls them off watching as Ian's toned body is revealed. Once his jeans are off Mickey quickly pulls off his pants. Ian looks so fucking sexy. He's on his back staring up at him waiting for his next move. He wasn't going to make him wait long. He straddles him and pushes his legs apart reaching inside his boxers to grab his hard cock. It's hard and leaking with precum and Mickey could not be more pleased. He leans down and plants a kiss over the boys nipple trailing his tongue along the boys chest.

“hmm” Ian moans at the contact, he can feels his breath hitch.

“That's right you dirty boy” he says seductively as he makes his way down to ian's pelvis. He bites the lush skin, pulling down the boys boxer allowing his dick to spring free.

“Look at you, so hard for me like a good boy” he says moving his hand up and down the boys shaft. He moves his lips down further until he can feels the soft fuzz of the boys fiery pubes against his face. He looks up and is met with the boys eyes staring back at him.

“You want me suck it don't you?” he says licking his lips.

Ian averts his eyes. He hates that. He likes to look into the green orbs, so full of emotion and curiosity.

He waits until Ian meets his gaze. “Answer me” he says running his finger over the boys slit causing him to leak even more.

“Yes Mickey”

“That's good” he says satisfied and moves his mouth down to the base of the boys shaft, roughly kissing his way to the tip.

“fuck” Ian gasps as his lips encase him. He moves his head up and down, his tongues tracing circles, his hand moving up Ian's thigh massaging his warm flesh.

Ian reaches down and pulls him in closer. He can feel him in the back of his throat as he takes him in quickening his pace as his lips move up and down. He can taste the familiar saltiness of Ian precum in his mouth and thinks he could do this forever. He loved how Ian tasted and how his cock felt heavy and full in his mouth. He NEEDED to fuck him now. He pulled of his dick and wiped his mouth.

“Turn over and get on your knees” He pants trying to catch his breath.

Ian does as he is told as gets on his knees.

“Such a good boy” Mickey replies and kisses his lower back right above his beautiful ass. He doesn't have lube but he knows Ian will be OK, it wouldn't be the first time, and probably not the last. It wasn't the kind of thing he just carried around with him. Saliva would have to do. He parts the boys cheeks and plants a kiss on his hole.

“mmm” Ian hums.

“You taste so good Gallagher” he replies before flicking his tongue over the boys entrance. He sucks on the sensitive skin and dips his tongue inside him.

“Fuck Mickey” Ian cries out as he fucks him with his tongue. He pulls his face away and spits onto his puckered hole. He stick his finger in his mouth trying to get it as lubricate as possible before pressing it in.

“Uh fuck” Ian moaned. The boys ass was warm and tight around his finger as he moved it back and forth slowly.

He was ready. He pulled his finger out and reached down to jerk his own dick. He was hard as a rock and leaking on his hand. He lined up with Ian hole and pressed in letting the boys body take him in.

“ah..hmm”

Ian's voice was bouncing off the steel wall of the van as he sank into him. He pulled out and thrust deep into the boy.

“Uh...fuck” Ian hissed.

“you take it like you sexy little bitch” he says as he pound his ass pulling him hips down do meet his thrusts.

“Fuck mickey..fuck”

“You're such a good boy Ian. Such a goo boy” he repeats and he thrusts into the kid. Ian's hips are rolling back onto him as his own pace and Mickey is pleased to let the boy move against him. He looks down and watches as Ian's ass slide up and down on his cock.

“So fuck sexy.. so fucking dirty” he pants getting lost in the vision in front of him.

He grips Ian's hips tightly and pulls him down fucking up into him.

“Shit” Ian gasps “mm right there..right fuck”

“yea? That's the spot you little slut”

“Yes yes..fuck..mickey..I'm” ian cries breathlessly.

He was close, between the sound of ian's voice and the tightness of his ass he was gonna cum.

He reached around and grabbed Ian's cock, stroking it fast with a firm grip as he fucks up into him.

“I'm gonna cum Mickey. I..fuck” the boys cries as he spills the warm liquid onto his hand.

He falls down onto the floor, his ass still the air. He was so so close. He grabbed his ass and thrust in a few more times.

“hmph” Ian moved his face pressed against the blanking covering the floor.

“I'm almost there, fuck you're such a good fucking boy aren't you?” he says as he fucks into him chasing his own release.

“uh” Ian cries and he can see him grip the blanket beneath him.

“answer me” he says and pounds him harder. So close, so fucking close. He could feel the heat rising.

“Yes”

“Yes what?”

“I'm uh..” Ian moaned “ I'm a good boy”

“Fuck” Mickey groaned as he reached his oragsam filling up the boys hole. He leaned down and rested on the boys back for a few seconds before pulling out.

He pulled on his boxers and his pants.

“We've been gone awhile we should get back. Get dressed, you can shower inside”

Ian didn't move, jut stayed resting on the blanket.

“Gallagher you fuckin here me? Come on get dressed” he said smacking his ass.

“Ow fuck” Ian cries jumping up from the floor.

“Well fucking listen next time. Hurry up” he replies and pulls his shirt on. He reaches up to the front seat and grabs his jacket. He turns around and Ian is butting his pants.

“Here. It's still fuckin raining” he says and opens the back door to the van.

The rain had died down but it was still enough to be annoying as they walked across the yard. Ian opened the back door and stepped inside, Mickey followed behind him.

 

“Hey guys!” Fiona greeted them. She was alone at the table with a glass of wine. “What took you so long I was beginning to get worried”

Ian went to speak but no words came out. Fucking kid. “We had a long talk that's all. Everything is fine now right kid?” he says and looks over at Ian.

“Yea it's all good”

“You got anything else to say?” he says glancing at Fiona then looking at Ian expectantly.

“Uh yea. I..I'm sorry Fi. I was rude earlier. I'm gonna try..i mean I'm going to stop ditching class and go to school OK”

Fiona looked at him like he was was made of gold, her eyes were filled with relief and appreciation.

“What did you do?”

Mickey rubs his nose and licks his lips. “Like I said. We had a long talk” he replied sitting down.

Ian handed him his jacket and he pulled out his smokes before putting it behind him on the chair. He pulled out 2 cigarettes and handed him one.

“Thanks” Ian said softly as Mickey lit his cigarette out of habit.

 

The three sat there in silence. Fiona reading some magazine maybe Star or Enquirer. He and Ian smoked their cigarettes occasionally their eyes would meet.

Suddenly the door opened and in walked Ian's older brother Lip. He was followed by two children and a skinny blonde who looked like a bitch.

“park was fun till we got fucking rained on” Lip said, hanging up his coat and taking off his hat. He turned to the table and there eyes met. Fuck!

“Mickey? What are you doing here?”

He scratched his neck nervously but luckily Fiona answered for him.

“He's here because he's my friend. He's also Ian friend” she replied.

“He's Ian's boss. Big difference” Lip said smugly and walked over to the fridge grabbing a beer.

“So you two are friends?” he said looking at Ian.

“Yea. Yes. We've been friend for a while now”

“Fucking weird but whatever' Lip replied and walked into he living room with dumb blonde.

“Don't mind him” Fiona said with a smile.

“No its cool. I was gonna leave anyways.” He stood up from the chair grabbing his jacket.

“Bye Fiona.” he waved. “See you tomorrow after class kid, got it?”

“Got it” Ian said with his fake smile. Yea he was ready to leave. He got his hit. He fed his high, but now he was coming down. He didn't want to come down, he wanted to stay in the moment in the van, it was perfect...but it was over, the way Ian looked at him was over.

“Yea OK..bye” he said and shut the door. He walked down the stairs and out to the street only looking back once before he headed to his house and back to reality.

 

 

 

 


	21. Fleeting Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey is ignoring Ian and he doesn't know why. Mandy and Ian have another heart to heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK guys, first of all sorry for the delay, things are getting deeper lol so it takes longer. I also apologize for the size of the chapter i wanted to cut it in half but honestly there was no good spot so tada 11k chapter!! I'm putting the 2 songs i listened to when i wrote last half of the chapter so you can get a really good glimpse at Mickey's POV. I hope you enjoy. Working on next chapter now xoxo
> 
> Thank you to my lovely beta and i consider a best friend Jessica 92 xoxox you help my writing come to life xo

Why were people so god damn stupid? Everywhere he turned it seemed like people were pissing him off. He woke up not to his alarm but to the sound of his brother and sister arguing in the kitchen. He needed to start sleeping at the store again. It's not like he fucking lived here anyways. Terry was never around anymore. Mandy would be OK, not like the bitch wanted him around anymore either. He tried to pretend that didn't bother him but the way she looked at him now, only seeing the darkness where she used to see the light..it kinda killed him inside. He couldn't remember the last time his little sister looked at him like he was her big brother, now he was just someone she loved but didn't like. Stupid bitch. She should have minded her own fucking business.

 

He got dressed for work and walked into the living room to see Iggy and Mandy smoking a joint and yelling across the table at each other.

“We gotta post bail Mandy, no question about it”

“Fuck that piece of shit” his sister yelled “We don't need his ass, we can fix this on our own”

OK what the fuck? Mickey walked over to the table and sat plopped down. “The fuck are you two assholes yellin about?” he snatched the joint from his sister.

“Dad got pinched last night” Mandy replied.

“Shit for what?” Mickey couldn't help that his lips turned up into a smile at his sister words. He fucking hated his dad.

“Possession and assault” Iggy replied. “Our little sister wants to let him just rot in a cell”

Mickey bunched up his face and turned to his older brother “And YOU have a fuckin problem with that all of a sudden?” he said darkly. Iggy knew how much he hated his dad. Normally he would be on his side, what was different now?

“Yea Mick I got a fuckin problem. The motel gig got shut down when they popped him. Girls got fucking picked up and they found the coke! The fuck are we gonna do for money? You run the shit but he has all the connections.”

“fuck!” Mickey sighed and took a hit from the joint. Just what everyone likes to hear first fucking thing in the morning. They had themselves a little one night stand operation at the shittier end of town. There was always money to be had when it came to happy endings and drugged up sex. Terry was good at bringing in new clients and he kept the girls in check, made sure they didn't OD or rob someone. That is after he banged them all. Ugh fucking disgusting. He probably got arrested for beating up one of his girls and the cops found the stash he was selling.

“What are we gonna do Mick? I got Shauna breathing down my neck about money and getting a bigger place. Now we're out girls and fuckin coke” Iggy scratched the back of his neck nervously and looked at him for answers.

He pulled out his phone and stared at the wallpaper. He thought about texting Ian but he was already really fucking annoyed. Things were going OK between them and he didn't wanna fuck it up by being a dick and the way he was feeling right now, that is exactly what would happen. He was feeling out of control and he really needed reminder that he controlled something in his life. He settled for his brother. Iggy maybe older than him but just like his sister he knew he was the one that ran the show. He was not someone to piss off, he was in control. He sat his phone face down and looked at Iggy.

“You need to keep your fuckin bitch in check man. Tell her you got shit under control and her ass needs to shut the fuck up, suck your dick and stop worrying bout it.” he laughed “ We'll figure it out”

“That's not how you talk to someone you care about” Mandy chimed in rolling her eyes.

“did I fuckin ask for your opinion? The adults are talking now, so why don't you fuck off” he replied dismissing his sister with the wave of his hand. He was met with another sigh and her middle finger before she got up from the table and walked over to the couch turning on the TV.

“What is it with bitches and the constant need to run their mouths?” he said looking over at his brother.

“She's right you know” his brother replied.

“What?”

“I can't talk to Shauna like that man. Are you kidding? She'd kick my ass and toss me out in a heartbeat”

Mickey shook his head in disbelief of how whipped his brother had become since he starting banging this chick. They only been together 6 months and she had Iggy twisted.

“Wow pussy's that good huh? Bitch got you questioning what I have to say?” he laughed and passed the dwindling joint back to his brother.

“I'm not saying you're wrong. I know you'll figure it out Mick you always do. It's just you don't get it man. Pussy is on point but there's just something about her. I don't know, she makes me feel like I can be better you know?”

Yes he did know but he wasn't about to answer him. Ian made him feel that way. The only difference is he didn't believe he could be better, that he could change. He had been trying but still found himself slipping, and that ending with a smack to the face and harsh words he didn't mean. He couldn't change for him, he needed the control, everything else with Ian was fake but the power he had over the kid. That was real.

“I know that you sound like a bitch right now” he replied.

“Fuck off man. You'll find someone who does the same thing and I'll be there waiting to talk mad shit”

mickey laughed and stood up from the kitchen table. “Well get fuckin comfortable Iggs cause you're gonna be waiting long ass time.” He glanced over at the clock. “Fuck man I'm running late, gotta go open the store”

Iggy looked up at him “Aint you the boss or some shit? Why do you care if you're late?”

“Yea it's my fuckin store but towel head and Linda still fucking own the place. I can't just do whatever I want. You like having weed to smoke and food to eat when you come by. This fuckin shit makes it possible” he said and grabbed his phone from the table.

“skank” he said to his sister as he grabbed his jacket from behind the door.

“ass face” Mandy replied and flipped him off.

 

 

This day was killing him. Traffic was fucking bullshit and now his store was full of people just fucking lingering, bunch of drunks and junkies. If he had to tell one more piss smellin asshole to leave his store he would do it with a fucking bat.

The customers he did have were not much better. People were paying with change, trying to use gift cards and shit from other places. They accepted ebt but take your Walmart card to fucking Walmart.

God people were stupid! He thought about texting Ian again but decided against it. He needed his fucking space, shit was getting weird..at least for him. He had always had feelings for the redhead but he tore those apart and scattered the pieces a long time ago. There was no fucking way this would be more than what it was. He was fine with that...right? Yea he was fine with that. He was able to see Ian and be with him whenever and wherever he wanted. That's what he wanted. He wanted the kid to do what he was told and he did. He had been so....it almost seemed like he was trying to be good for him. It seemed like he wanted to keep him happy now instead of before where he was to nervous to fucking do anything but sit there. Now he was talking with him and engaging in conversation. They were hanging out more like friends, shit was less awkward at least it felt that way. Ian still acted stupid though. He wished he was a stronger person but he wasn't. He was never the person to let attitude slide unless it was from his sister, the only reason she got away with anything was because she was a fucking girl. He wasn't his father, he wouldn't hurt a chick. He didn't want to hurt Ian either but things would be great and they could be watching a movie or driving in his car and the kid was spout off some stupid shit. This is why he needed his space. This shit didn't bug him before, he didn't care about Ian's feelings. So what if he hit him, he knew better...that's how he used to feel. Now he tried to find ways to justify himself but nothing made sense anymore, he knew it was wrong. He knew he was a bad person. This was his nature, maybe Mandy was right..maybe he was like his dad. Nope fuck that. He was trying. His dad had never done that. He was trying to be a better person, he was failing but it was the effort that counts...right? He placed his phone in his pocket and decided against talking to Ian. The kid was everywhere it seemed, he needed a break from his thoughts if only for a day. Not like Ian would care anyways, he would probably be relieved.

*********************************************************************************

 

Ian pulls his thin jacket around his body. The breeze is cold on his face in the Chicago night. He was happy to get the text from Mandy asking him to come over. School had been so long and tedious. He had only missed 2 days since his talk in the van with Mickey and he was quite proud of himself. Lately it had been easier for him to focus in school now that...well things were different...

He never knew how deeply Mickey really felt about him going to class. He had honestly thought it was just another thing the guy was using as an excuse to control him. In reality he actually cared. The revelation was scary. The thought that Mickey could actually care for him...maybe not him but his future? Was there even a difference? Who knows the guy was so hard to read. He didn't really care about him. If he did does he really want him too? He didn't know what he wanted anymore and questioned if he ever did. Things with Mickey had been different the last few months. He wasn't sure if the guy was changing or if he was the one who had changed. They fought less..if being yelled at and smacked in the face was considered fighting. He had learned how to act, how to speak, how to think around Mickey. He had learned how to be around Mickey. The man was hard to navigate but he had somewhat figured it out so now Mickey really didn't seem so bad. As long as he behaved the right way and did the right thing they had a good time. They were talking more and more which was something that used to be fleeting. He was learning things about Mickey and seeing a side to the guy that made him even more confused. He wondered how it was possible for the Mickey with the red eyes and dopey grin who called him sweet, and cute, and beautiful could be the same person who tore him down and told him he was stupid and left him feeling worthless. How could he be the same person who caress his body one moment and abuses it the next? He found himself intrigued by the mystery. He was becoming drawn to everything about Mickey. He wanted to keep him happy, to make him smile so that he could see the other side for just a little bit longer. He needed Mickey. He found himself craving the praise after being belittled for so long. He never thought he would feel this way. Hell he never thought any of this would happen, but it did. He had been with Mickey for almost a year now, he was all he knew. Sure he had fuck buddies before but this was the closest to a real relationship he had been in. He didn't think he could be without the guy anymore. It was like he said, he was lucky to have him. He didn't believe him before but now, he was sure the words were true. The thought of being alone after so long was kind of terrifying. He always came back to the same thing...would anybody want him? He was a child. A broken down, used up boy from the South Side. Who would want that? No one. No one but Mickey. Mickey wanted him, he said such nice things to him sometimes it made him feel special. It made him think that maybe....just maybe he could do this. He held onto those moment because they were his sanity. He needed those moments to replace the darker ones where he felt broken and alone. The moments where Mickey would snuff out the little pride he had left. Now his pride, his self worth and his dignity came from Mickey. He needed him. He would be nothing with out him.

 

He ran his hand through his hair nervously as he walked up the stairs to the Milkovich house. It was a Wednesday so Mickey was at work but he knew he would be home soon it was already 9pm. He tried to shake himself from his thoughts. He was here to see Mandy, to hang out with Mandy. Mickey wasn't even there so why did he feel nervous anyway? Just another side affect of being broken I guess.

He knocked on the door and shoved his hands in the pocket of his hoodie.

“Ian! I'm so glad you made it” Mandy said sweetly when she opened the door.

“Me too. Kinda needed to get away from the house. Debs has some girls from school over and it was getting way to crowded” he replied as he sat down on the couch. Mandy sat down beside him and handed him a controller.

“Well you know you are always welcome here. Mickey should be home in a few with dinner” she said grabbing a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos from the seat next her as she pulled her legs underneath her.

“Until then, we eat like kings” the girl laughed and handed him the bag.

“freak” he replied and grabbed a chip shoving it in his mouth.

“You wish you were as cool as me”

Ian shook his head in amusement “all the time Mands..all the time” he replied

“We doing this or what?” he picked up the game from the table.

“Prepare to be destroyed” Mandy said as she rose from the couch to put on the video game.

 

***********************************************************************************

He glanced over at the clock on the wall. It was 10:15pm. The store closed at 10 and Mickey didn't have to do inventory on Wednesday . All he would have to do was put away the order. He probably just did that during his shift, it's not like the place was super busy.

“Does Mickey know I'm gonna be here?” he turned to look at Mandy. He secretly wondered why Mickey had not texted him if he was aware of his plans. It seemed like the kind of thing he would do but there had been no communication all day. It didn't really bug him....or at least it shouldn't. It's just that normally Mickey would text him through out the day. It was never anything important, usually just things about stupid customers or maybe to remind him of his place. Not today though.

Mandy stared at him for a moment before she set her controller down and crossed her arms.

“No Ian he doesn't know you're here” she sighed. “why does it even matter?”

He wasn't sure how to answer. A part of him wished that Mandy knew but a stronger part of him was afraid of how Mickey would react when he found out. He had been so upset with him when he talked to her the first time and he didn't even give him away. He glanced at the floor then back at her.

“Just thought he would know since you said he was bringing food”

Mandy rolled her eyes and reached out to touch his shoulder causing him to flinch. He hoped she wouldn't notice but she did.

“Don't worry about my brother OK. Knowing him he'll just get a bunch of shit from the dollar menu, there will be plenty of food”

He nodded “Yea OK”

She rubbed his shoulder and sucked in her bottom lip. He could tell she wanted to say something.

“I know you want to say something so just do it”

She looked at him, her eyes filled with concern and the look of pity he hadn't seen since that day sitting on the curb.

“I don't want you too freak out on me again and leave” she said averting her eyes.

Fuck. He knew where this was going. He felt lucky to have such a concerned friend but he wished she would just leave it alone. The last time he spoke to her she immediately went and told Mickey. He needed to make sure he could trust her because right now he didn't.

“I won't freak out but you have to promise this stays between us Mandy. You and me. You want me to trust you then promise me” he said folding his arms in his lap and staring at the TV in front of them.

“I want you to trust me Ian. I promise not to say a word.” she replied and held out her pinkie.

“I pinkie promise”

He laughed and latched his pinkie with hers, the moment his finger touched hers he felt the overwhelming need to talk, to spill everything..to purge. That would be dangerous though, he had to be careful. He was walking a dangerously fine line and he needed to be cautious.

“So...what do you want to know?” he said grabbing a cigarette from the girls pack on the table.

“I just want to know how you are doing? Like for reals no bullshit”

“OK” he lit up the cigarette and took a drag “honestly I don't know”

Mandy leaned against the couch with her hand draping over back “what do you mean?”

“i mean I don't know. Things are kinda confusing with this guy you know?”

Mandy rolled her eyes in frustration “no Ian I don't know so that's why I'm asking..does he” she paused for a moment “does he still hit you?”

Ian took another drag of his cigarette and passed it to her “ yea but not as much..like it's different”

“How the fuck is it different? He either does or he doesn't there is no in between”

“You don't understand it Mands, before he was just mean and super controlling. Now it's almost like he cares you know. It almost seems like he like he feels bad sometimes.”

Mandy shook her head and ran her hand through her hair adjusting herself on the couch so that she was staring directly at him. “So you're saying he hits you because he cares? Do you hear yourself Ian? That is so stupid..”

“I'm not stupid” he snapped. He hated that word. Mickey used it a lot and he was starting to believe it when it came from him but to hear it from Mandy's lips, someone he truly loved it cut like a knife.  
“No Ian that's not...that's not what I meant. Of course you're not stupid. I'm just saying that logic doesn't make any sense”

“I don't expect you to understand Mandy honestly I don't know why you ask if you won't listen” he said quietly and sank into the couch.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, Mandy was looking at him with her big blue eyes filled with desperation.

“Look I care about you OK. I don't usually care about anyone except my brothers and even then it's different. Talk to me, I'll try to keep my big mouth shut.” she said drawing a zipper across her mouth with her fingers.

He laughed at the ridiculous gesture “Fine. I'm just saying that he's changed I think. He's nicer than he was before at least for the most part. There are times when I can see the person he was when we first met”

“That a good thing?” she replied

“I guess. I mean he was a chill person. I always knew he would be rough around the edges but we could bullshit you know and make jokes. Then everything happened and he just turned into a completely different guy. Now, I guess...well...now it seems like maybe he still is that person. When things are good they are good. We can talk and stuff like before and he can be really nice but..”

“What?”

“It's jut confusing because at the same time he can be a complete ass, like I don't know how to keep up with it. One minute he is nice the next he is pretty fucking crazy. I feel like I'm on eggshells all the time”

“well do you think he's trying? Like does it seem like hes making an effort to be this nice guy or does it seem fake?”

“I guess that's why I'm so confused. It does seem like he's trying to be nice. When we talk we laugh and it's just really fucking addicting to see him like that but it never lasts, I always fuck it up somehow” he says looking down at the floor playing with his hands.

“how do you fuck it up? He's the one going back and forth”

“yea but he only does that, he only freaks out when I do something wrong. Like if I say something stupid. I don't mean too, I guess I can't help it sometimes. I've never been the best when it comes to listening or “behaving” as he calls it”

“Ian it's not your fault OK. You are not the one who has an issue it's your boyfriend.....is that...are you together now?” she looked at him curiously.

“We've been together for almost a year Mandy” he replied surprised at how easily the words rolled over his tongue.

“OK well then your boyfriend sounds like he needs to be the one to fix things not you”

“You still don't get it. There is no fixing things Mandy. This is how it is. The only way to fix things is to fix me but I don't know how to do that. I don't even feel like me anymore. I don't.... I don't even know how it felt to be me anymore”

“ can i ask you a question?"

"Sure go ahead" he replied and took a drag.

"Do you want this? Like do you want it too work out or are you just scared to leave?"

"No of course not...” he paused and rubbed his forehead. “well I'm not sure. I didn't think I did but now it's hard to think of my life without him. I'm different Mandy. I'm not the same person I was. I don't know if I'll ever be that person again. If he left me then where would I be? Nobody is gonna want me. So I think this as good as it's gonna get for me. I got over thinking things will change a while ago"

He watched as his friend sank back in the couch "Wow Ian. This guy really fucked with your head. You really need to leave him, it's killing you I can tell. You are better than this, if you let me I know I can help you"

"You don't get it he won't let me alright.” he snapped fighting the urge to jump up and run out the door. “I can't leave him. I'm his. I have no choice and that's just how it is so I accepted it" he looked over at his friend. “If you really care about me you would too. Just leave it alone”

Mandy rolled her eyes and sighed " Yea..OK Ian...I need a drink. What do you think..shots?"

He felt his body relax and he adjusted himself looking up at his friend. "I'm always down for shots. What we drinkin tequila?"

"Hells yes! I know Mickey's got a bottle stashed around here somewhere" she replied getting up from the couch and walking into her brothers room. "found it!" she yelled excitedly and walked back over to the couch. "You need a shot glass cause i was just going to to drink from the bottle?"

He fed off Mandy's energy. His best friend always made him feel like everything was okay "Sure shot glass is fine but I'm not afraid of your germs if you want to pass it back and forth. Whatever you want"

she looked at him and punched him in the shoulder.

"Ow Mandy what the hell" he said rubbing his shoulder

"whatever you want. Come on Ian grow a fucking back bone will you.” she unscrewed the lid to the bottle and took a long swig and squeezing her eyes shut. "Here" she coughed and handed him the bottle. "So this guy. You think he actually likes you or what? Is it just about sex?"

He took a long sip and enjoyed the slight burn from the tequila "I'm not sure Mands. Sometimes I think he might but he's so hot and cold. Every time he shows any kind of emotion I do something to ruin it"

" well i guess it good you're seeing some kind of change right. That's better than nothing" Mandy replied grabbing the bottle. " have you tried talking to him? I mean does he know you're unhappy?"

"I've never straight out said I'm unhappy. But I'm sure he can see that I'm not. I pretend I am when I'm around him but mostly it's all just an act. I do what he says and sometimes I think I'm almost happy. Being almost happy is better than nothing right" he laughed humorously and grabbed the bottle from Mandy taking a long pull then handing it back.

"I obviously can't tell you what to do Ian. I just want you to be happy. I love you asshole" she laughed and took another swig "Fuck" she coughed. "I'm gonna have to get Mickey a new bottle this shits is almost gone" she waived the nearly empty half pint bottle. "so...your brother he still with that blonde bimbo?"

"Love you too Mands" he laughed "Yea unfortunately. I don't get why he stays with her? She's probably fucking the entire school"

"How can someone like lip not see how great he can be. I can see it every time he looks at me" she mused.

He spread out on the couch laying his head in her lap."Cause he's an idiot. Guys like them don't get that if they thought with their heads instead of their dicks they could have something great"

" i must be stupid to want him " Mandy sighed. "Hes just so ugh intoxicating I don't know. He makes me want to know everything about him even though i know he'd never love me"

"You're not stupid. Lip is just dick whipped. Eventually he will realize Karen is a skank and leave her. That's when you can swoop in and I'll even help you" he smiled up at her. "But I get you on the intoxicating part. Sometimes I can't help but be pulled in"

"What?"she smiled down and him and petted his hair "you must be buzzed. You think you might have a crush too?"

"Hey you're buzzed too. Don't try to act like you aren't" he laughed and lightly shoved her shoulder. "I don't know maybe. Sometimes I think I might like him. It's confusing"

"Well what do you think you "might" like about him" she replied

"I don't know sometimes he's really sweet. He'll look at me like he might care, like he likes me. But then he makes sure to remind me that he doesn't"

"men...they don't know what they want" she said softly and ran her fingers through his hair. “That why women were invented to think for you assholes, tell you what you want.”

“Says the girl who's chasing after someone with a girlfriend” he laughed. He had a nice buzz going and felt at peace lying in her lap. Mandy's body was warm and comforting, he didn't know how much he needed a gentle touch in his life. Just then there was pounding on the door causing him to sit up abruptly.

 

"Mandy!" Mickey's voice came through muffled from the outside. There was another pound "Open the god damn door" "Shit" Mandy exclaimed jumping up from the couch and running to the door. She unlocked the door and Mickey stormed inside. "the fuck is the door locked for? You knew i was coming home with shit" he glanced over at him briefly. His hands were full, one carrying a large soda and the other had two bags of food. Mickey shoved the soda at his sister "next time answer your fucking phone. I got you Pepsi because i didn't know what the fuck you wanted"

"Thanks" Mandy replied setting the drink on the table and grabbing the bags of food.

"I ate my shit on the way here so the rest is yours" Mickey said taking off his jacket and hanging it on the door. The man glanced at him again then turned to walk to his room. Should he follow him? Should he have said hi? He didn't know what to do, it was hard because Mandy was there. Why was he ignoring him? Did he do something wrong? Fuck. He was always doing something but he couldn't think of what. He sat back down in the couch and looked over at Mandy who was pulling a cheeseburger from the paper bag. "See. Told you he just buys a bunch of burgers. Here" she tossed him a cheeseburger.

"Yea..thanks" he replied and sat back in the couch. He unwrapped the thin paper covering his food and took a bite. It was greasy and delicious, everything he wanted from a burger. He couldn't help but wonder why Mickey wasn't out there with them..with him. It was not like him at all. He didn't text him today either which was also not like him. Fuck him. He didn't care. The guy was always in his business it should be nice that he could just enjoy this time with Mandy right? Yea it should be nice but Mickey was ruining it. He needed to know what was wrong. He couldn't stop thinking about what he was doing back there by himself.

He looked over at Mandy "why are guys so complicated?" He sighed.

"Because they can be. They know they have us wrapped around their fingers with their charm and fucking good looks "

"He really is good looking. No more than that, he's hot. I noticed that from the beginning. His eyes are so blue just like how I imagine the ocean would be. His smile too is amazing even if he doesn't do it a lot. Those times when he looks at me like he cares" he groans

"Fuck em" Mandy replies letting out a yawn and leaning her head on his shoulder.

"Awe Mands you're like a baby. Eat and drink then you're ready to sleep" he teased

"Fuck oooff” She yawned again. "What can i say some of us need our beauty sleep"

"You don't need beauty sleep you got that shit on lock down. If you're tired though why don't you go to bed?"

Mandy shrugged her shoulder. “You gonna crash here?”

“yea, I'm too buzzed to walk home. Go to bed I'l be fine”

“Ugh” she huffed standing up from the couch. “I'l see you in the morning?”

“Yep ..night” he replied pulling out his phone as soon as she got up from the couch.

 

**Ian (11:15) u up?**

He sat there for about 5 minutes and received no responce.

**Ian (11:20) u mad at me?**

Twenty minutes this time and still no response. What the hell? Why was he ignoring him?

 

He's curious now and walks back to his room opening door cautiously.

"Hey um are you OK?" he sees Mickey lying in the bed in a t-shirt and boxers smoking a cigarette.

"Fuck off kid" the guy doesn't look at him just continues to smoke and shoot the stack of cans piled on his dresser. Why was he being so weird? What did he do?

"Are you mad at me? Did I upset you or something?"

"Just leave it alone kid. What do u want?" Mickey says looking up at him with wide eyes and a raised brow.

"I....i wanted to see if you were OK. You seem upset"

 

Mickey looks over at the kid standing in his doorway. He wasn't really concerned about him. He was just scared to be in trouble. Whatever, he had a long day dealing with his stupid brother and that shit with the motel. Lets not forget the traffic to get fucking home. People were morons, no one knew how to fucking drive anymore. He just wanted to be left alone but here Ian was invading his space with his red hair and freckles. Fuck. He looks up at Ian who is staring at him with his big green eyes. Fuck his stupid green eyes.

"Well id be better if you weren't asking me stupid fucking questions " he replied and leaned over to open the drawer to his nightstand. He pulled out a joint and pressed it between his lips " you just gonna fuckin stand there like a creep all night or what man?" He lit the joint and passed it to him after taking a puff.

"Sorry I wasn't trying to bug you" Ian says quietly and turns to walk out the door.

Fuck. He didn't want him to go...not really. He grabs the boys arm " Don't...." he says and licks his lips."just fucking sit down and smoke with me"

Ian looks at him cautiously and walks over to the bed and sitting down silently. He hands him the joint again and Ian takes it bringing it to his lips and inhaling deep.

"So you go to school last week. Better not be fuckin ditching again"

The boy shrugs his shoulders "Some of the days"

Really still? What the fuck? After everything this kid still was missing class. How could he make it more clear that shit was not OK? He pocketed the urge to hit him, he was in no mood for any bullshit but he honestly just wanted to be high and forget the day not extend it. That's why he went straight to his room. He knew Ian would get to him, he always did.

"Some of the fucking days? Are you stupid?" he snaps and snatches the joint from him "seriously Gallagher come the fuck on. What i gotta do fucking take you there to make sure you go? Jesus Christ"

 

He stares at the ground waiting for Mickey to keep yelling at him or worse but nothing happens. He look over to see Mickey flipping through his phone.

 

"Fine if that's how you want it. I'm gonna take your ass to fucking school and pick your ass up so you have no excuse you hear me?" He sets the last alarm for 6:45am and throws his phone next to him. He takes another drag then passes the joint back to Ian.

"I guess if that's what you want to do even though it's unnecessary" Ian says and looks at the floor.

This kid really trying to argue with him?

"Hey” he says loudly causing Ian to flinch and stare at him with wide eyes “ don't fucking tell me what's necessary . You clearly can't do the shit on your own for some fuckin reason so now I'll do it for you"

 

Ian starts playing with hem off his shirt, wrapping it nervously around his fingers. He doesn't understand why Mickey is so adamint about school. He was the main reason he couldn't focus but he was at least trying now. Why did he care if he had a future, he didn't did he?

"Why do you want me to go to school so bad? Not like you actually care about me" he says softly looks up at him.

Mickey glances at him and rubs his nose "Don't be fucking stupid.” he says and rubs his nose “ You have a chance to do something with your life. Just don't want u too fuck shit up".

"I'll try not to but I doubt West point will take me anymore" he says.

 

He looks at the kid as his lips wrap around the joint. His eyes are glossy and he can see the sadness behind them as he talks about West point. He remembers when he first met Ian. He was so excited about school and being an officer and now he had lost that spark, letting his dream float out the window. He knew he was to blame but he told the kid to go to fucking school.

"Look kid there's more shit to do in this world than get your ass shot off in some Stan" he laughs trying to lighten the mood.

"You'll never know though if you don't go to fuckin school".

Ian chuckles "True, plus it would be a shame if my ass got shot off. I'm kinda attached to it"

The boy grins at him and he cant help but laugh. He doesn't know what it is about that smile that makes him warm inside, maybe because he never sees it anymore. He grabs the joint and takes along drag before putting it out.

"You always been obsessed with that army shit? You ever thought about doing anything else?"

"When I was little I wanted to be an astronaut but when I realized that I would have to eat food out of tube I tossed that idea.” Ian said and smiled “ Then yea it's always been the army. Something about it drew me in and didn't let me go"

"really an astronaut?" I can see it now first ginger on Mars." he laughed " I used to think about being a musician. Traveling all the time and being surrounded by music you know?" He grabbed a cigarette from his pack and lit it up, needing the taste of nicotine.

"First ginger on mars" Ian laughs "Probably would be able to see my hair from here.” he watched as Ian spread out across the foot of his bed resting his face on his hands.” So a musician huh? The would be cool. What would you play? Or do you sing Mick. You gonna serenade me?"

Jesus this kid was going to be the death of him. He was so fucking cute staring up at him right now, he couldn't help the warm feeling that was growing inside as Ian appeared so comfortable... with him.

“Fuck off. I aint gonna fucking sing” he rubbed his nose with his knuckle nervously “Guitar man. Electric. Got one when I was little and fell in love with it. Nothing is more distracting then playing something till your fingers bleed” he passed held out the cigarette.

"Why have I never seen you play? I'm around you all the time. You should play for me. Show me what you got" he winked and grabbed it.

“You're too fucking cute you know that.” replied and playfully kicked the kid in the leg.” I haven't played in a while, don't know if I ever will again. Not like shits gonna happen from it. Why waste my time”

 

"It's not a waste of time if you enjoy it right? I bet you're great." Ian replied his face beaming "Really? Cute? Don't here that much. I guess I can be kinda adorable sometimes if given the right audience" Mickey wanted to tell him he was the most adorable thing he had ever seen. He wanted to pick him up and sit him on his lap and tell him how perfect and amazing he was, but fuck that. He wasn't a bitch and that would never fucking happen. "There's a lot of things i enjoy that seem like a waste of time" he replies and licks his lips leaning back into his pillow.

"I understand that. I have tried so many things that led to nowhere. Like this one time I tried soccer cause I thought since I run a lot I would be good. I was wrong. I kept tripping over the stupid ball. One time I fell flat on my ass. So embarrassing" he giggled.

Fuck this kid. He was too much right now. "Seriously man? That's fucking hilarious. Wish i could have seen that shit. Don't think I'd ever leave you alone about it" he says grinning at the boy.

"It was pretty funny after the fact" Ian sighed "You probably wouldn't leave me alone. You don't already. Sometimes I like it and sometimes..." the boy paused and looked at him “never mind...that's why I don't see soccer in my future” he said and smiled.

He want to say something but what? When he opens his mouth he usually fucks shit up and Ian looks so cute right now with his red eyes and stupid fucking smile even if that lost comment cut deep. His lips are so pink and full. Fuck he looked beautiful. The way he was lying on his bed playing with his hands as he spoke. The way his mouth turned up ever so slightly and his eyes it up as he talked .He couldn't deny it anymore. He wanted him. He wanted more than he had, he wanted to be...wanted. He looked down at the floor then up at the boy at the end of his bed.

 

“What?” Ian looked at him and shrugged his shoulders coyly and took another hit off the cigarette passing it back to him. The man grabbed it from his hands lingering for a moment then he leaned back against his pillow bringing it to his lips. He found himself entranced as the smoke floated out of his nose. It was really fucking sexy....fuck, why was he looking at him like that? Mickey was staring at him in a way he had never done before. His blue eyes held his gaze with an intensity but he didn't speak a word as he sat there smoking. What was he thinking? What was going through his mind? Did he say something wrong? Was he about to change? Were things about to change? He his hands began to sweat as he stared back into Mickey's eyes waiting for any indication of what thoughts were going through the mans mind.

 

Ian looked back at him. His eyes looked curious and confused. The smile on his face faltering now. He put out his smoke and stood up from the bed. Ian watched him silently as he walked directly in front of him.

 

Mickey was in front of him now , their eyes still locked together. The man steps closer and he instinctively sat himself up. He can't look at him anymore. The suspense, the silence, the fucking intensity of his stare was to much. He averts his eyes and stares to the side looking at the bed.

 

He felt captivated by Ian green eyes. When the boy looked away he felt a sadness overcome him which left him feeling exposed, he needed that connection back..what was wrong with him?

“hey” he said reaching out and grabbing Ian's face. “let me see those eyes” he could hear the softness in his voice and he didn't recognize himself.

He turns the boys face to him but Ian's eyes are still avoiding him.

“Come on look at me” he says firmly. Ian looks up at him through his lashes. Fuck. He felt his breath quicken as he looked at his freckled face. He takes a deep breath overwhelmed by the rush of buried emotions coming to the surface. This wasn't supposed to happen. Ian was never going to be his so why were these feeling creeping up on him again. Damn it, he just needed to fuck him, to control him. He needed a reminder of the reality. He steps closer to the boy and grabs his hand bringing it up to massage his hardness.

 

Mickey places his hand on top of his boxers and his fingers trace the outline of his cock. He knows what he wants.....at least he thinks he does. He moves his hands to the top of the elastic band of Mickey's boxers and slowly pulls them down letting his dick spring free.

“Go on” Mickey says and runs his finger down the side of his face. He leans forward and lets his lips brush over the tip causing Mickey to moan. Something about the sound he made him eager. He wanted to please Mickey. He glanced up at the man as he licked from the base of his length to the tip, letting his lips encase Mickeys hard cock.

“Fuck Ian” Mickey sighed and placed his hands on his shoulder pulling him closer.

“So perfect”

He bobbed his head and gripped mickey's thickness pumping it in his hand eliciting a gasp from the older man that had him feeling butterflies.

“so good for me”

He soaked in the praise, he needed it. He would add it to his collections of fleeting moments. He wanted him to stay this way, just like this. He was soft and vulnerable, a side Ian had rarely seen.

 

Mickey looked down at Ian as the boys lips moved over him. It felt so fucking good. Ian's mouth was warm and wet as he sucked him down. The urge was there to say something mean, something fucked up so he could feed off of the high only Ian could provide when he dominated him but as he stayed silent and watched the boy work him he found himself wanting the exact opposite. He wanted to tell him how good he was, because he was. He was fucking perfect, everything about him was perfect. it was the reason Mickey hated him so much. Ian was beauty and he was the beast..only prince charming didn't exist, underneath he was still the same fucked up street thug from the South Side and he had no plan to change.

“Fuck” he moaned pulled from his thoughts as Ian's tongue traced over his slit. At this rate he wasn't going to make it and he NEEDED to fuck Ian. He needed to feed his hunger. He reached down and pushed Ian off of him, the boy looked up at him with confusion.

“did I..”

“Take off your clothes” he replied and dragged his bottom lip between his teeth.

He watched as Ian stood up from the bed and stripped revealing his toned young body. He reached his hand out resting it on the boys soft skin before pushing him down on to the bed.

Ian looked like he wanted to say something but he didn't want to hear words, he just wanted to feel.

“Shh” he whispered climbing on top of him, spreading his thighs apart so he could kneel between them.

He leans forward bringing their lips together. His tongue slips inside Ian's mouth and the boy lets out a subtle moan as he kisses him deeply. He can feel Ian rest his hand timidly on his side. He wants to pull back but he's to caught up by the smokey taste of the boys mouth that he tries not to read into it. Ian's hand slowly starts moving up his side then to his back pulling him in closer. He pulls back this time staring into Ian eyes for a moment. They are so fucking green and he can see the lust hiding behind them. He is fucking gorgeous lying beneath him, his pink lips moist from his saliva. He brings his hand up to Ian's face letting his fingers graze his cheek as he trails kisses down his chest. Ian's skin was smooth like silk under his tongue as he moved his mouth further down the boys body. He glanced up at Ian to find the red head staring back. His gaze was alluring, drawing Mickey further into the feelings he was trying so hard to suppress.

 

He cant help the way his heart is pounding as Mickey kisses his chest, the mans fingers pressed into his sides. The way he keeps staring up at him is making him want. He liked sex now. With Mickey he wouldn't say no..well he couldn't say no really. Here in this moment though when their eyes connected it was mesmerizing. He wanted Mickey. The way the man was looking at him made him feel like more than just a sex toy. It made him feel like a person again. He closed his eyes for a moment to shake the thought from his head. He couldn't get caught up in it. He couldn't fall for it. He knew that was all he was, he had been told enough times. Mickey was high and he was..well he only had a slight buzz and a tiny high from the weed but that had mostly worn off. Get it together Ian. This was the same as always. It was going to change like it always did. It was stupid to think otherwise. He didn't want it too mean more anyways right? He was never going to be in a real relationship with the guy...there was no way. He only wanted to make Mickey happy to make his life easier that was all. He didn't care about him, he hated Mickey.....most of the time. Fuck it was too much, this was all too much...he needed to....

“Hey”

He opened his eyes to see Mickey staring down at him. Fuck his eyes were so blue. They really were like the deepest ocean. They were dark,mysterious and right now they were staring into his soul, ravishing him with just a look.

Mickey leaned down and captured his mouth in a kiss, it was soft and delicate causing all thoughts he had before to fade away. He found himself reaching up and placing his hands on Mickeys back pulling him in closer letting the floating feeling he had take over. He could feel Mickeys hardness pressing up against him as his body went limp falling deeper into the kiss.

 

He couldn't explain the feeling he was having. He really wanted to fuck Ian but when he kissed him the boy seemed to relax. When Ian pulled him close he felt his heart flutter. He pulled back and looked down at the boy moving his hand down to his caress his ass. He kneaded his supple cheek with one hand and kept the other on the boys side as he planted kisses on his neck.

“You're so fucking sexy Ian” he breathed his words into the boys ear causing a crimson blush to creep across the Ian's face.

“yea you know that though don't you? You know how much you turn me on you...sexy little” he didn't finish his sentence instead he grabbed Ian firmly by the waist and flipped them over so the redhead was on top of him.

 

“Shit Mickey” he exclaimed.

He was not expecting that. He was getting lost in the words coming from Mickey mouth, that when he grabbed him it took him by surprise. Now he was on top of Mickey. He looked down and was met with smoldering blue eyes.

“You know what to do” Mickey said softly and reached up running his hand down his chest. He could feel the hardness of his dick pressing against him so he moved his hips against it.

“mmm” mickey moaned and licked his lips.

Fuck the guy looked so different when he was like this. He was gentle almost unguarded.

He couldn't stop himself as he leaned down and brushed his lips against Mickey's. The man hugerily reciprocated the kiss letting his hand move down his side to his ass. Mickey was kneading his cheeks pressing his hips down against him. He reached down and grabbed the mans cock in his hands, it was shiny and covered in pre cum, waiting and ready. He pumped it a few times then let go grinding his ass against it as he leaned down to kiss Mickey again.

 

Holy fuck. Ian kissed him. He actually kissed him..like what the fuck? He had NEVER done that before. Why now? What changed? He looked up at Ian on top of him, he was grinding against him, his hands moving over his chest. The look in his eyes was raw and untamed, he was fucking intoxicating. When the boy leaned down to kiss him again he closed his eyes tight. He knew he was fucked. This is all he wanted, this is all he ever wanted. He didn't want to admit to it, he didn't want to think about how much of a fuck up he was, how he had fucked up this whole damn thing. He knew if he gave Ian the choice he would run and never look back, the kid was just making the best of a bad situation. He was making the best of being with him. Fuck it, if that's all he could have then fine. He was never going to let Ian go, not before and especially not now. He didn't want to think about it. He just wanted to think of the boys lips willing pressed against his even if was only for a moment.

 

He pulled away from Mickey and watched as his blue eyes fluttered open. They were different. They were the same blue eyes he had been forced to look at but now, now they were desperate. He could see the need in them and it made him want to fulfill it. He reached down and grabbed Mickeys dick again stroking it.

“Mm fuck” Mickey moaned.

He lifted his ass and slowly guided Mickey inside him.

“Fuck ” he sighed as the mans cock filled him. He slowly rolled his hips, placing his hands on Mickey chest for balance.

“soo good Ian” Mickey said as he licked his lips “soo fucking good”

Why did he have the need to please him? Why? Fuck if he knew why but when he heard the praise coming from Mickey mouth it left him wanting nothing more.

He lifted his ass letting in bounce up and down on Mickey's length.

“uh..hmm..fuck” he moaned as he road him.

“Mm yea you like that don't you?”

“yes...yes fuck” he panted as he slid his ass over his dick. Mickey was now thrusting into him, hitting his sweet spot. His hands tightly gripping his waist.

“So good Ian fuck . so f..”

“I wanna be good for you” he cut Mickey off surprised to hear the words escape his mouth but they did. Now Mickey was staring at him again with that raw intensity that gave him chills. He leaned down to kiss him but was taken back when Mickey sat up pushing him backwards so that again he was underneath him.

“I wanna fuck you. I wanna feel you..” he kissed his neck causing him to crane it to the side allowing the man better access.

 

He didn't know what happened. One moment Ian was on top of him riding his dick the next moment he was underneath him. He could feel the kids heart beat race as he kissed the spot on his neck right below his jaw. He lined himself up and pressed back into the boy.

“Mm” Ian hummed and sucked in his lips.

“Yea? You want it? You want me to fuck you?” he said, for the first time he needed to hear the words as much as he needed to fuck him.

 

“Yes Mickey fuck me. Please fuck me” he sighed and grabbed Mickeys face pulling him down into another kiss. The man thrust into him causing him to moan into the kiss but not part from his lips.

He slammed deep into him causing him to finally pull away from the kiss licking his lips.

He leaned his head back as Mickey fucked into him, the mans lips were now kissing his neck and teeth were biting his ear.

“You're such a sexy boy” Mickey whispered in his ear then turned his head so that he was looking at him as he thrust into him.

“Uh..ah..uh” he moaned as Mickey's hard cock filled him.

“So fucking tight. Perfect” Mickey said still looking down at him. His eyes were blown and he was sucking on his lip which he never noticed was really fucking hot.

“Am I good? You like it?” he replied feeling that sudden need for approval he had been feeling more and more lately.

“Mm fuck yes” Mickey groaned as he wrapped his arm underneath him so that he was holding him up.

“such a good boy Ian”

Mickey was moving fast and hard in an out of him and it was electric, so fucking intense. The man was staring at him watching every gasp and moan that came from his mouth.

 

This was too much, it was to intense but he couldn't stop. Normally when he felt like this he would flip Ian over and fuck him rough, call him names but fuck. He could see every fucking expression on the boys face as he thrust into him as well as hear every sound that escaped his perfect mouth. He could see him lick his lips and the O face he made when he hit his prostate. He watched as Ian went from gripping the sheets to gripping his shoulder, slowly moving down to his lower back as he dug in his fingers.

“ so fucking sexy” he whispered as Ian's face bunched up.

“I'm gonna cum” Ian cried and rolled his eyes towards the ceiling.

“Say my name again. Tell me what you want” he said breathlessly pounding his hole harder and deeper chasing his own release.

Ian looked in his eyes “ uh..fuck mickey”

“yea?”

“Mm Mickey fuck me. Fuck me”

“you take it so good. You're my good by aren't you?” he said feeling the warmth build up inside him.

“yes..Mickey. Hmm uh..”

He couldn't control himself. His world seemed to slow down as he stared into the blown out green eyes of the boy beneath him. He was being played liked a puppet by his emotions and he couldn't control himself.

“Fuck Ian..i...” he bit his tongue to stop the words from coming out as he reached his climax, filling the boy. How could he think that would be OK? He needed to keep that shit to himself. Ian would never feel the same way and he was too fucked up to know if he really did anyways.

“Mickey” Ian shuddered and came on his stomach in hot spurts.

He found himself not wanting the moment to end, he didn't want it to ever end. He fell down on top of Ian feeling the sticky mess between them but he didn't care. He kissed his neck again and was surprised when Ian grabbed his face and pulled it into a kiss. They were both spent but for some reason they spent the next few moments still intertwined, tounges and lips moving feverishly together.

 

He didn't want the moment to end. He wanted Mickey to stay like this but he knew it would never happen. This was the closest they had ever been and now he was waiting for reality to come and slap him in the face. Mickeys mouth was pressed against his and the full weight of his body was now lying on top of him. He was starting to feel crushed. Against his better judgment he pulled away and looked at Mickey. The mans eyes were still the same, still filled with emotion that made his head spin.

“Mickey your squishing me” he said softly hoping it was delicate enough to not loose him.

“Huh? Oh” the man replied and sat up.

“fuck” Mickey sighed and then laughed.

“What?”

“We made a fuckin mess that's what” he said and climbed off the bed.

He tossed him a t-shirt “Here clean your shit up” Mickey said wiping his own chest with another shirt.

“Thanks” he replied and wiped his cum off his stomach.

He climbed off the bed and reached for his clothes

“Na man, you don't need to getting dressed just grab a shirt from the dresser and get your sexy ass back in that bed” Mickey said raising his brow as if waiting for him to say no.

“OK” he replied and walked over to the mans dresser. He pulled out a dark blue shirt that reminded him of Mickeys eyes and pulled it on. It was pretty snug seeing as he was taller then Mickey but he didn't mind. He crawled back into the bed but this time under the covers.

Mickey looked at him and smiled “i'Il be right back, don't fuckin move” he said as he opened the door and dissappered.

What was he doing? He should go sleep on the couch shouldn't he? What the fuck was happening? Why was Mickey still being so nice? Did it really matter? No..it didn't he was just happy Mickey was happy. He didn't know what was going on but he would take it as long as he could and just hoped he wouldn't fuck it up.

Mickey returned with 2 beers and two burgers. 'fucking hungry, you're ass worked up my appetite” he chuckled then climbed into bed next to him handing him a beer and a burger.

“Uh thanks”

“whatever” Mickey replied and took a bite of his burger.

They ate in a comfortable silence and drank their beers. He was feeling tired but didn't want to fall asleep. This was too nice to just fall asleep, he needed it to last as long as it could before he locked it away in the box in his mind he had made for these moments.

Mickey leaned over and lit the joint from his bedside table. He put it too his lips and breathed in the smoke. Within seconds lips were brushing against his and smoke was filling his lungs as Mickey breathed out into his mouth. Fuck he liked this. It was wrong and he shouldn't but he did.

 

Mickey pulled away and took another drag off the joint before passing it over to Ian.

“So what are you doin in school anyway?” he said and leaned back against his pillow. He was terrible at small talk but Ian was still being fucking cute and normally he shut down after sex so he was going to try.

Ian took a drag off the joint holding it for a second then blowing it out.

"The usual stuff. Nothing too interesting except maybe English class. We're reading The Great Gatsby, it's kinda cool"

"Yea? Shit sounds fuckin boring but if it keep your ass in class can't be too bad i guess." he replies and reaches for the joint.

"I guess" Ian laughs "Math though. Ugh math kills everyday. It's like a foreign language to me"

Math? He didn't understand that. He had always been good at Math. He was good at school in general, he dropped out because his dad's activities kept taking up his fucking time and it seemed pointless to keep trying. They sat there smoking a joint and talking about all the subjects in school the kid hated. Honestly it sounded like he quite enjoyed his classes except for trig which he said he was talking for Westpointe.

“I'm thinking of dropping that one, it was extra credit anyway” Ian replied stretching his long arms out nearly hitting him in the face.

“ay watch it Army. Nearly poked my fucking eye out.”

“Sorry” he laughed and snuggled further under the covers next to him.

This was so nice. He could feel Ian's body heat as he lay next to him and his leg touching his. There were no tears, no harsh words. He wasn't keeping him there against his will...was he? What would he do if Ian suddenly decided he wanted to lay on the couch of go home? How would he react? He looked down when he felt Ian's head head on his shoulder. He reached up and touched his face.

“You look fucking tired kid”

Ian closed his eyes “Hmm that's cause I am”

Mickey looked at his phone it was already 2:15 am. Kid had to be up for school in 4 hours. He leaned over and turned off his lamp letting the darkness fill the room.

He lit up another cigarette and stared into the night. Thoughts racing through his mind, wondering how long he would be able to make this last. Ian's face felt warm and right laying on him. He belonged there, after tonight there was no doubt about it. He took a few deep drags of his cigarette and put it out, adjusting himself so that Ian's head was now resting on his chest.

He closed his eyes willing sleep to come, it had been a long day.

“I can hear your heart beat” Ian whispered softly.

“Uh yea. Because you're lyin on it” he grinned in the dark and let his hand rest on the boys back.

He tried to close his eyes again.

“Mickey?”

“What?”

Ian looked up at him, he could see the twinkle of his eyes in the dark “what's your favorite color? You wear a lot of black and your hair is black. Is it black? Mine is blue..like your eyes kinda.”

Mickey could feel himself blushing and was son thankful the room was dark.

“Red”

“Yea?”

He laughed. Seriously.

“No Ian. Red is my favorite color now shut up and go to sleep”

“Night Mickey”

“Shh” Mickey leaned back and closed his eyes for the third time waiting for Ian to say something but instead he heard a soft snore coming from under him. He pressed his face into his pillow. He wanted this to be a dream. Then he wouldn't hate himself when he fucked it up, and he was an asshole, he liked control. He knew he would fuck it up. Whatever. Right now he was happy.  
  


 

 

 

 


	22. Too Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey wakes up and is very confused. Ian feels neglected until he gets a visitor at work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok guys sorry for the long ass wait. Really wanted to finish the story and update at once but the chapters are getting more complex and longer lol so i'm working on the rest now. I hope you all enjoy it as much as i did writing it, i'm getting close to my characters and i can't wait for the ending which is coming up very soon.
> 
> Thank you to my lovely beta and #bestie Jessica92. She is truly my writing soul sister lol. LOVE YOU xo.
> 
> Chapter Song :Love Game by Lady Gaga

His opened his eyes slowly letting them adjust to the sun filling his room. He went to sit up but couldn't. His eyes opened wide in surprise as he saw what was holding him down. Ian had rolled over on top of him. His long arm was draped acrossed him and his legs were resting on top of his.

What the fuck? How did this happen? Everything about last night came flooding into his mind. The way Ian kissed him, the way he laughed and joked with him after. Fuck. The fact that he almost told the kid he loved him. Seriously WHAT THE FUCK? No. No this can't happen, this was not supposed to happen. Ian was not falling for him, he couldn't be. This was all fake, everything was fake.

 

Fuck. He felt his eyes begin to water as he thought about how Ian could never truly be his. The kid would never lover him the way he wanted him too, longed for him too.

He dug his palms into his eyes wiping away the tears that threatened to fall. The fuck was wrong with him? He wasn't a bitch. Why was he getting fuckin emotional over some 16 year old kid. How did this kid manage to crawl under his skin? Ian would not have even come back to talk to him if he wasn't afraid that he was upset with him. That's the truth. He made Ian afraid all the time so of course he would exspet he did something wrong and want to fix it. That's all last night was. It was Ian fixing his mistake even though he didn't do anything wrong in the first place. He knew Ian only went along with everything because he knew he would freak out if he didn't. He couldn't say that he wouldn't. He couldn't say how he would have reacted if Ian said no because he hadn't said no in such a long time.

 

Fuck. He wiped his eyes again as he looked at the boy sleeping next to him. He had kissed him. It's was sweet and passionate, he could still feel the boy's lips brushing against his own, maybe it was real..maybe...NO! NO! NO! This was too much, Ian was just pretending and so was he. He could say he wanted to change but did he really? He wanted Ian yes but he fed off of the control he had and he wasn't sure if he could let that go. Even if he could Ian wasn't in love with him, the kid didn't even fucking like him and he knew it. How could he think he could be anything other than the asshole that forced him into a relationship. That was why he was in his bed right now and it was the only reason. He literally forced Ian to do things he knew he didn't want to do until he gave in. The only reason he was so passive about sex about him was because he was made that way. That's why he way lying on top of him, holding him. That was the only reason. He needed to remember that and Ian needed to fuck off.

 

“Get the fuck off of me” he shouts and pushes the boy off of him startling him awake.

“What..I don't understand. Are yo..”

“Shut the fuck up” he yelled jumping up from the bed. He didn't want to hear him speak. He didn't want to recognize the confusion in his voice. He was confused too.

“Mickey what did I do?”

“What do you think this is hmm? You think I want to fucking cuddle with you? You're nothing but a warm mouth to me Ian . I own you so fucking remember that and keep your hands to yourself” he snaps and reaches for his pants. Fuck he didn't mean it. He didn't mean one fucking word, he was sprung on the fucking kid but waking up next to him like they were a real couple it was just to much. Ian should have just left him alone, should have taken the fucking hint but no. Instead he had to get in his fuckin buisness and make him feel like he was wanted when he wasn't. Did he know he was fucking with him this way? Every time Ian kissed him he was falling deeper and deeper with no fucking saftey net. So here he was fucking it up again. There wasn't anything to fuck up anyway because it wasn't real. He was just coming down after the best fucking high of his life. Some drugs were only meant to be done in small doses and Ian with his freckled face and green eyes was one of them. He was becoming addicted to more than just the power and control and that tore him up inside. He needed to remind himself of that and remind Ian. He looked up at Ian who was sitting on the bed his legs pulled into his chest. He could see his eyes were red and knew that he was crying. Fuck...The glow he had last night was gone and replaced with sad eyes and timid demeanor. He wanted to apologize but it was better this way. Ian didn't need to get it in his head that he was going to change because he wasn't, he couldn't.

“Stop fucking crying and get dressed” he said firmly and grabbed his phone and cigrettes. He needed to leave this room. Last night was playing like a movie in his head and he needed to shut that shit off. He looked over at the kid on the bed one last time and felt his heart break but slammed the door shut behind him.

 

He walks out into the living room and into the kitchen throwing open the cupboard door.  
"Can you at least try not to be an asshole first thing in the morning" his sister says from the couch.  
"Can you shut the fuck up for once?" He replies pulling down the box of fruit loops and grabbing a bowl a from the strainer by the sink.  
He hears the creak of his bedroom door open and sees Ian out of the corner of his eye. Hes looks sad and broken and it tears at his heart as the boy sits down on the couch next to his sister.  
"Hey you" Mandy says playfully "sleep well?"

"Uh yea slept alright. How bout you?"

"No hangover so thats good" she replied and rested her head on Ians shoulder.  
Mickey stared at two sitting in the couch. Fucking assholes, both of them. He slammed the fridge door shut and walked over to where his sister and Ian were sitting  
"Scoot over docuhebags" He says sitting down between them forcing them apart. He plops his feet up on the table and takes a bite of his cereal.  
"Kinda rude dont you think?" Mandy says looking over at him.  
"What?"  
"Arent you going to offer Ian breakfast?"  
"He has fuckin legs. Im not His keeper"  
"Wow Mickey. Hes our guest. " she looks at Ian "are you hungry?"

“Starving honestly”

"See Mickey. Hes starving. Go get him some food dick "

"Mandy it's fine I can get my own cereal" Ian replied.  
Mandy rolls her eyes and turns to him " I dont get why this is such a big deal for you Mickey. You usually always bring him shit" She looked over at Ian "arent you two friends still?

"We aren't that close Mandy I just work for the guy. You're my friend." Ian replied glancing over at Mickey

"Ook " Mandy replied with confusion and looked at him "seriously mickey? Would it kill you to be nice"  
"Nice?" He licked his lips "really Mandy? Since when am I fucking nice?"

Ian laughed "Since never. I don't think I've seen him do a genuinely nice thing. If it doesn't benefit Mickey then he isn't gonna waste his time"

Ok really? "Better watch your mouth kid . Don't pretend like you know shit about me, like you said we aint friends" he says taking another bite of his ceral.

"Don't be such a dick. You guys have been working together for year. He probably knows more about you than you think" Mandy scoffs

"How about you mind your own fuckin buisness Mandy." He glares at his sister " Ians a big boy he doesn't need you to speak for him, kids fuckin hungry he knows where the kitchen is. He can get his own food"

"Duh I know he can. The point is he shouldn't have to. He's our guest and you can make him fuckin breakfast.” Mandy replies.

"How about you fuck off Mandy." he snaps and set his food on the table. " He's your fucking friend so how about you take your own dam advise and leave me out of it"

"Advice? I thought we were talking about breakfast though" Ian replied

“Seriously Ian? “ Mandy rolls her eyes.

“Sorry”

Mandy is staring daggers at him now stupid bitch.

"Fuck you both!" he slams his bowl on the table. He stood up from the couch and walked into the kitchen. Dumb bitch and her big mouth. He didnt even want Ian there right now..or did he? Fuck. What did he get himself into last night? Why didnt he just let the stupid kid walk out the door? Fucking asshole.  
He poured milk into the bowl and slammed the fridge door shut before walking into the living room.  
"Here" he said showing the bowl in Ians face almost spilling it on his laps "now will you two shut the fuck up?"

"Fuck Mickey way to shove it in his face. Maybe next time you can skip that part and just dump it on his head"  
"But Mandy if he did that then I wouldn't get to enjoy this thoughtful breakfast" Ian laughed.  
"You're right. He did put a lot of thought into it, a whole 30 seconds. Shh gotta be quiet though before we make him even bitchier than he already is"

Mickey rolled his eyes "jesus fucking Christ! Cant a guy just eat his fuckin breakfast without listening to this shit"

He turned to Ian " you got your fuckin cereal so why dont you shut the fuck up and eat it" he says and looks over at his sister " dont you have somewhere to be? Oh yea i forgot you dont so fuck off and let me eat my breakfast so i can go to work and pay the fuckin bills alright?"

“Dont tell me what to do dude. We're not at work” Ian looks over at Mandy “Jesus somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed. “

Ian looks him in the eyes “Rough night Mick? Must be cause you seem like more of an asshole then usual, and that' saying somethin” he says before taking a bote of his cereal.

Mandy is staring at him waiting for his next move. He honestly could care less that she was there at the moment. This kid was out of his mind talking to him like that.

"Fuckin tough guy huh?" The kid was pissing him off and forgetting his place. They both needed to be reminded, last night fucked up everything. He was stupid to open himself up like that. Never again. Now Ian was talking to him like he was a bitch and that was not Ok.

He licked his lips and turned to Ian "You think cause Mandys your little friend you can talk to me like that hmm? You better watch yourself Gallagher im not playin"

Ian looked at him thoughtfully and he knew he was not going to back down. The kid was pissed off which was stupid. Did he really think one night would change everything?

"I'm not scared of you Mickey. Do you think just cause your a big bad Milkovich that I'm gonna bite my tongue all the time? Well you're wrong"

WOW. He was sure he had misheard Ian because the was no way he would talk to him that way. He taught him better than that so what the fuck?

“Wow guys. Can we take it down a notch, this is too much drama first thing in the morning” Mandy replied twirling her hair in her fingers.

He looked over at his sister " maybe you should tell your friend if he knew what was best to shut his fuckin trap before I shut it for him. He needs to know his fuckin place. He's not fuckin family, he nothing, just your stupid friend " ..fuck.. He said that as a reminder to himself. He was nothing. He knew why Ian was upset but he also knew the kid pushed his buttons when he ran his mouth. He might be falling for the fuckin guy but it was times like this he knew it was hopeless. It was taking all his strength to not smack the smug look off of Ians face. Why? Why did the kid get to him like that?

"Guess I don't know what's best for me then. Looks like I got it twisted. Right when I think I figure things out they change seemingly overnight"

“What are you talking about?” Mandy looked over at Ian.

“Nothing Mandy it's just that..”

He cuts him off and laughs "Dont be stupid kid nothin changes overnight. Some things  
never change." He rub his nose " I know one thing that needs to change though and its your fuckin attitude, that shit is gettin old real quick man"

Ian puts his bowl down and stands up "Some things maybe should change but they are just too damn stubborn. My attitude though is staying exactly how it is so might as well deal with it"

“Ian sit down. You guys are too wound up. How bout you try and chill Mick”

"Mandy you really need to just fuck off right now ok" he says and pulls a cigarette from his almost empty pack. he throws the pack on the table and light up his smoke “This is between me and Red here”

He looks over at Ian who is still standing, his arms crossed in front of him "go get ready kid we are leaving in like 30minutes" he says calmly letting the nicotine sink into his body.

"Honestly I can walk. I haven't been taken to school since I was in kindergarten. I'm not a kid, Mickey I don't need anything from you"

"We made a deal kid. I'm taking you to school so drop it" Mickey says firmly and rubs his nose with his knuckle. The hell is wrong with this kid?

"He's right Mickey. He doesn't need you to treat him like a child. Plus who are you to decide that shit anyway, your not his keeper. Apperently you're not even his friend"

"Mandy's right. I don't need you to drive me to school. I can get there all on my own thank you"

He needs to step away. He can feel himself loosing his shit and his bitch sister fucking knows it. He gets up from the couch and walks into his room. He goes to his nightstand and grabs a joint from his stash. He walks back out and sits down on the couch and lights it up.

"Since apperently we are all fucking friends here I'm just gonna say this." he lights up the joint. He takes a long drag letting the smoke fill his lungs hoping it will give him the mellow he needs to survive this ridiculous conversation. He looks over at his sister "You got a big fucking mouth Mandy. Maybe you should just mind your own fucking business for once and stay out of my shit."

He looks over at Ian " I'm takin your ass to school and thats it. I'm not gonna talk about this shit anymore"

"Fuck douchebag maybe YOU should mind your own business instead being up in Ian's. He's a big boy and I'm pretty sure he doesn't need you all up on his dick" Mandy replied.

Fuck no, this bitch was getting to be too much. She never would have dared to talk to him like this before.

"You need to watch yourself Mandy. I dont know who you think you're talking to. Im the one who pays for your fucking clothes and your phone. I make sure that you have this piece of shit house to stay in and food in your fucking belly. I wouldnt fuck that up if I were you"

"Really Mickey? That's how you feel? If I am such a fucking burden to you just tell me. I don't need you or anyone to take care of me. You and dad are just the same whether you see it or not. You're a fucking asshole” she yelled and grabbed her purse. He could see the hurt in her eyes and wanted to say something but he was too angry. Anything he said now would just make it worse.

“Fuck you” she spat when he remained silent. She stood up from the couch and grabbed her jacket.

“Where the fuck you goin?”

“Away from you. I don't want to inconvience you anymore” she yelled and slammed the door shut behind her.

“god damn it!” he shouts, and jumps up from the couch throwing the joint on the table. He walks into the kitchen and grabs a beer from the fridge popping the tab and slamming the cool liquid as fast as he could with out choking.

He turns to look at Ian who is standing there glaring at him. This was all his fault. He turned his sister against him by opening his big fucking mouth. Mandy had always been in his corner. They had each others back. She wasn't a fucking burden, he wanted to spoil her, she was his little sister and the stupid bitch deserved better than her shitty life on the South Side. Fuck. He crushes the can and tosses it into the sink before walking back over to the couch to grab his joint. The buzz from the beer wasn't near enough to calm his nerves.

“Wow Mickey, that was rough even for you. You shoulda just slapped her probably would have hurt less” Ian said shaking his head as he walked past him. He couldn't hold back anymore all of his feelings were coming to the surface. This would have never happened if the fucking kid would have just kept his mouth shut. Fucking stupid asshole. He licks his lips and look at Ian.

“What is you're fuckin problem Ian? What the fuck makes you think you can talk to me the way you have? Hmm? Tell me” he shouts and pushes the kid hard into the living room wall.

“I don't know what the fuck to think anymore Mickey. You're fucking crazy you know that? You're a fucking psycho, playing your twisted little game and I'm done”

Mickey sucks in his bottom lip and rubs his knuckle to his nose

“That what you think? You're done?”

'That's what I said isn't it. I'm d..”

He dosen't think and backhands him hard across the face. He can feel the sting on his kuckles. Ian looks at him stunned. He hasn't hit him in a long time because he was trying...trying to be better. He didn't need to anyways, Ian was behaving and things were good. Fuck. Why did it bother him so much to see the sadness and shock in Ian's green eyes staring back at him.

“Mick..”

“Just shut up. Don't say anything” he says trying to keep his composure. He wasn't going to fucking apologize, he had to keep telling himself that as Ian stared at him broken again. Fuck he wanted to. He wanted to grab his reddening face and kiss away the tears that were brimming in his eyes but he couldn't do that. He wasn't a fuckin pussy. He takes a deep breath and turns to walk away.

“Mickey i'm sorrry pl..”

“I said shut the fuck up Ian!” he shouts raising his hand to silence the kid but it causes him to cower.

Damn it! What the hell was his problem? Why couldn't he just keep his shit together? He had a great..no fucking magical night with this fucking guy and then he didn't just fuck it up no, he doused it in gasoline and lit a match too it. He grabbed his keys off the table and his jacket from behind the door.

“Wait Mickey what about...” that's the last thing he heard as he slammed the front door shut. He walked quickly to his car and and drove away. He didn't care that he just left Ian there to fend for himself. The kid was right he didn't need or want him to do anything. He could take care of himself. He knew he needed to leave though, he couldn't stay in that room with Ian for one more minute with out eaither breaking down like a bitch or worse, he didn't want to hurt him again, not really. He didn't want to hurt him at all. FUCK!

 

********************************************************************************

 

Holy hell, what the fuck just happened? He sank down on the floor and put his head in his lap. Stupid, stupid, stupid..why? Why would he think that anything had changed. He started out the night with a clear picture of how things were in this..fuck what the fuck was this? Was Mickey his boyfriend? Was this a relationship? No. He had made it perfectly clear how he felt this morning when he called a warm mouth. Fuck. Why did it get to him so much? He should have exspected this. He did exspect it actually, he was waiting for this moment all night. He was waiting for everything to change and for Mickey to revert back into the person who took his pride and broke his spirit.

 

He lifted his head and wiped the tears from his eyes. He wasn't crying because Mickey had changed. He was crying for the simple fact he hoped he wouldn't. When Mickey had his guard down and they joked and laughed it was....well it was magical. He had a glimpse of the light inside the man but then it was replaced with darkeness. He let one night of intense..sex get to him. Fuck it wasn't even the sex although he'd be lying if he said it wasn't electric. He had felt things with Mickey that he had never felt before but it was just his imagiaton. He thought he saw something change in those blue eyes he stared into for minutes at a time. He swore that he had broken down some kind of wall the way Mickey looked back at him but he should have known better. Stupid. He told himself not to fall for it. He knew the hands that caressed his body and the lips that pressed against his could also make him flinch like a bitch and completely tare him down to nothing with only a few words.

Stupid! Great now he was doing it, maybe Mickey was right. He was stupid. Only an idiot would fall someone so clearly insane. He wasn't falling for him though.. no. He just wanted him to be happy that's all. They were not the same thing. He didn't have feelings for the guy. Never. Life was just easier all around when Mickey was happy. He was nice and they could pretend to be..whatever the fuck they were. It was just easier. Now he didn't know what to do. Mickey just left. Why would he do that? He acted like he had never hit him before. Yea it had been a while and yea it took him by surprise but still. He used to hit him all the time so why did he just freak out and leave? Was he done? Did he not want him anymore?

 

He stood up from the floor and gathered his bearings. He walked into Mickey's room and grabbed his clothes off the floor and got dressed. He checked his phone for a message but there was nothing new. He debated texting him but decided against it. He was going to be late for school if he didn't catch the next train. He put on his worn out jacket and slung his backpack over his shoulders. Fuck today was going to be a long day. He shook his head as he locked the door and closed it tightly behind him. He grabbed a cigarete from his pack and lit it up as he began to walk down the sidewalk. He was lucky the L was only a few minutes away from the Milkovich house, he was able to get to the stop before just as the train arrived. He didn't want to go school, he didn't want to go to work..he didn't want to go home. He didn't know what he wanted anymore. He just wanted to be happy again. He wondered if that would ever happen. Would he ever be able to be himself again? Did he even know who that person was anymore? More importantly did he want to be him? When he thought about being happy, he thought of Mickey now. They had little moments that were amazing, moment's where things felt real. Its sounded crazy because he didn't want to be with the guy but in those moments he was happy and that's what he wanted now. Did happiness mean Mickey now? It kinda did. The only time he was ever not worring about something is when he was with Mickey because he was what he worried about. His life revolved around him pretty much with the small exceptions here and there. He spent all of his time with the guy. He gave him his time, his pride... fuck he gave everything to make him happy. He felt he needed to make Mickey happy because then he could have those moments that he was slowing becoming addicted too. They came and then they were gone. It was his job to figure out how to make them stay. He wanted Mickey to stay happy with him, because then they could both be happy together. Thats all he wanted. He leaned his head against the train window and put in his headphones letting the music clear away his thoughts until he was forced to become a person again.

 

 Just as he thought school took for fucking ever. He had thought several times about getting up and going home but he didn't. Mickey was right. Even though his West Pointe dreams were gone that didn't mean he had to throw away his whole future, whatever that meant now anyways. He walked down the street lost in his head. He was nervous about seeing Mickey again. He had not texted him once since he stormed out of his house this morning and for some reason that just put him more on edge. With Mickey it was honestly better when he just reacted, when he was predictable. It was the silence , the passive attitude that actually freaked him out more.

 

He was about a block away from the Kash & Grab. It was 3:50pm. He could easily make it on time but something told him to walk slower. He knew it was stupid but that just seemed like a pattern for him at this point. He was closer to the store now, he could see the signs in the window from across the street. It was now 4:05pm he was officially late. Mickey would be pissed off but he didn't care. After what happened this morning he just wanted him to speak to him, so if that meant yelling then fine. He pulled a ciggaret from his pack and lit it leaning against the pole for the crosswalk. He stood there and slowly smoked. He waited another 5 minutes and decided now or never

 

He walked inside and Mickey glanced up at him but said nothing.

“Uh sory I'm late” he said weakly fully exspecting the guy to freak out but instead he returned his focus back to his magazine chewing on his lip.

Why the hell was he ignoring him? What did he do? Yea he had an attiude this moring, its not the first time and probably wont be the last time. When he hit him before usually things would just starts over after that but Mickey was going out of his way to ignore him.

Was he really done with him? Did he not want him anymore? Was he really throwing him away after.....after everything? Really? Fuck.

 

He took of his jacket and went to place it in the cubby under the register, causing Mickey to stand up from his seat so he could reach.

“You ok” he said eagerly waiting for a response but still nothing but an absent look on his face like he was staring through him, like he was invisable.

He knew he was playing with fire but he needed some kind of reaction “Fine ignore me fuck you too” he replied. Mickey averted his eyes and sat back down.

Seriously what the hell? Fucking asshole! How could he do this? How could he play these sick fucking games?

He grabbed the clipboard form the counter and walked to the chip aisle to start inventory. He was hapy to see most of it was done already he only had a few aisles. That was at least something.

 

 He tried to do his count but he had counted the same row of chips like 3 times because he couldn't concentrate. He heard the door ring and turned to see....Ned?

What the fuck? What was he doing here? He hadn't talked to the guy in months. He looked at Mickey who was was still staring at his magazine not looking up.

Really? Fuck him.

He smiled as the man came closer. Finally he was standing at the edge of the aisle staring at him with friendly eyes.

"So you are still alive? I got worried when you stopped returning my calls" the man man smiled and raised a brow

"Yes still alive. Wasn't trying to ignore you Ned. I would never do that. You know how life gets sometimes"

"Of course." he replied and clearly scoped him out "You look really good. This years been good to you"

Ian cant help but return the geture as his eyes trace over the mans body specifically his backside. "Thanks you too. Have you been working out? You look... firmer"

Ned laughs "Why yes actually. I've started going to the gym. Gotta be able to keep up with guys like you"

Ian looks over and sees Mickey is now watching him. Good fuck him.

"You always kept up with me just fine. So what brings your ass to the South Side?"

"Oh you know i needed a snack" He says grabbing a bag of Fritos

"What they don't have Fritos on the North side? Here I thought you came to see me"

Mickey has put down the magazine now and is staring at him. He licks his lips and raises his brow and Ian wonders if he can hear the conversation . Good. He hopes he hears it, maybe then he will aknowlege him, he needed him to stop ignoring him.

"Mm yes I did. I was hoping for a gingersnap as well. They dont make them the same in Lakeshore, not like they do here" the man said strumming his fingers over the bag of chips.

"Oh yea I've been thinking about you too. The South Side is seriously lacking in REAL men.” he said rather loudly and reached out to caress the older mans arm “Nobody takes care of me like you do"

Mickey stares at him for a moment than looks back down to his magazine.

"So when are you off? Im thinking dinner then desert?" Ned says with a devious smile.

"Aww you're always thinking of me. Unfortunately though I kinda have a boyfriend. It too bad cause I really missed you"

Ned rolls his eyes " boyfriend? Didnt picture you as the type to settle down "

"Well me neither sometimes shit just happens. Don't be upset though . If we break up you'll be the first person I call"

He winks at him and tosses his bag of chips on the shelf. "Take care Ian. You have my number" he says and turns to walk out of the store. He surprised how moment Ned leaves Mickey jumps up from his chair and locks the door.

 

Mickey walks over to him and shoves him hard into the cooler behind him.

"The fuck Gallagher? What was that shit?"

"I don't know what you mean Mick" he says sarcstically.

Mickey looks to the side and laughs "dont play fuckin dumb with me kid? I saw that whole fucking thing? Who do you think you are?"

Really? Who does he think he is? What a loaded question. He doesn't fucking know who he is anymore. All he knows is what Mickey tells him he is and right now that was nothing.

"Well according to you I'm nothing but a warm mouth"

" Thats right your MY warm mouth Gallagher. Mine! Not that geriatric assholes.” he shouts and brings his hand up to cup his cheek. “ I cant believe you ever let that sick fuck touch you kid its fucking disgusting "

He knew he was playing with fire but he didn't care. He was feeling to many emotions right now. He wanted Mickey to tell him he was something because at the moment he felt like nothing. Honestly right now any attention was better than being ignored. He couldn't be ignored because then he was left with only the thoughts in his mind that he was trying so hard to ignore, the ones that told him he would be alone forever and knowone would love him.

"Screw you Mickey” he shouted “I can't believe I can even stand for you to touch me. Ned was better to me than you ever will be"

Mickey's eyes widen and he licks his lips. He grabs his waist and presses him harder into the cooler door with his chest."Say that again I'm gonna kick your fuckin ass you hear me? I know you like it cause whine like a little whore when I fuck you"

Mickey moved his hand under his shirt , his fingers moving up his sides.

Something about the look in Mickey's eyes made his palms sweat and heart speed up. He wasn't just scared, he was turned on. What the hell was wrong with him? He knew he was lying just as much as Mickey did.

"Did you ever think I may be faking it? You're good but you aren't that good" he replied smugly though his confiendence was wavering.

"Really? You wanna play this game?" Mickey replied and removed his hands grabbing his shirt and pulling it over his head. He didn't even relize he had lifted his arms over his head to make the motion easier.

Mickey tossed his shirt on the floor and buried his face in his neck sucking his skin with his teeth causing him to let out a small gasp.

"Why not ?” he said soflty sinking into the feeling of Mickey against him “you're always playing games. Thought I would give it a try" he replies as he feels his body go limp against the door as Mickey's lips brush over his ear.

"You know its sayin shit like that" Mickey says as he moves his hands over the top of his jeans "that mouth kid, can get you into a lot of trouble" he whispers lowly and bites his lobe before lifting his head to stare at him.

"what you gonna do Mickey?” He says his voice shaky as he stares into the mans blue eyes. “You gonna hit me again? Thought we already played that game this morning" he regrets the words as soon as he says them aniticpating the worst.

It happened in a second before he knew it Mickey had flipped him around and his face was pressed up hard against the cooler.  
"You REALLY need to learn your place kid. The fuck you think you're doin talking to me like that huh?" He says pressing him against the cooler and reaches down to undo his pants.

Fuck it right. He was already in too deep he might as well speak his mind, it didn't really matter anyway. He wanted to know what happened, what he did wrong.

"My place? It's hard to remember what that is since you change your mind all the damn time" He feels his jeans fall to his ankles and suddenly Mickeys hand wraps around his dick.

“fuck” he sighs as Mickey starts pumping him. His fingers curl against the cool glass and he lets the rush take hold.

Mickey is grinding against his ass, he can feel his hard on through his jeans. He leans down next to his face, kissing his neck.

“Mmm” he sighs at his touch.

"Lets get one thing straight kid. Your mine, i own you. You do what i say when i say it.”

He runs his thumb over his wet tip causing him to breath in deeply.

“This right here, right now is your fuckin place" he replies and squeezes his ass cheek tightly. His breath is hot on his neck,

“waiting for me to turn you out just like you fucking like it. You're my bitch so act like it”

Fuck Mickey's words were harsh but fuck he was right. He wants to be fucked. He was lost again, Mickey touch did this now, it's made him come undone unlike any sex he's had before but he doesn't know if Mickey really wants HIM. He was confusing and it was hard to keep up. Mickey was all he had, he needed him to want him.

"I'm yours really cause you were ignoring me all day.” he says softly “I might be able to do what you say if you actually talked to me" he sighs as Mickey's grip tighten around his hard cock.

"Mmm maybe if you didnt say stupid shit Gallagher. We wouldnt be having this fucking conversation" He can hear the wet smack of Mickey's lips and suddenly there is a finger pressing its way inside him.

“uh..fuck”

Mickey moves his fingers in a circular motion and he can't stand it as the need builds up inside him.

"Its not that fuckin hard Ian. You know how to piss me off kid.”

He can feel another finger enter him and rolls his hips against it.

“ Mm hmm you know exaclty what you do to me dont you?” Mickey replies and pulls his fingers slowly out of his ass. Mickey hands let go of his dick and he's being flipped around so that he is met with Mickey's intensly lustful gaze. “I know you fucking do so dont play stupid"

He rolls his eyes because really. He did it again. He thought they were getting somewhere but then he was reminded that he was stupid. He hated that words so fucking much.

"there you go again calling me stupid.” his glances down at the floor before meeting Mickey's eyes once more. “Can't you come up with anything else? That's getting pretty tired"

Mickey laughed and rubbed his nose with his knuckle slamming his hand against the cooler door next to his face causing him to flinch. He leaned in and whispered in his ear. His voice was dark and seductive.

"You know hard it is to not smack the pretty little mouth kid? Its really fuckin hard right hard now”

Mickey grabbed his hand and placed it over the bulge in his pants, pressing down.

He wanted to play this game now, he really wanted to play. He knew it could change any minute and he could end up feeling broken again but right now, he wanted sex and the sound of Mickey's voice was draining any reason from his mind. He looked at the man and raised his brow.

"Oh? I'm shocked you're holding back. It never seemed hard for you before"

Mickey stared him down before glancing to the ground. He could swear he saw regret in his eyes. He looked back at him and brought his face close to his own , there lips only inches apart.

"if you werent such a bad boy then i wouldn't have to punish you” he said , his eyes fixed on him.

Fuck he wanted to be good, he wanted to be happy, he wanted..Mickey.

"I don't try to be bad. I wanna be good Mickey" he replied urgently.

“yea? You wanna be a good boy Ian?” he said as he wrapped his hands firmly around his waist “ Then shut up and kiss me"

Their lips pressed together and he could feel his hand land on Mickey back pulling him in closer.

“I wanna be good for you” he sighed into the mans mouth.

“fuck you're so fucking sexy” Mickey replied breathlessly and he felt his body being lifted up. He instinctivley wrapped his legs around Mickey as his back still rested against the cooler, his arms were now warpped around Mickey neck. He was always surprised how strong the man one considering he was shorter than him, especially when he felt his body being pulled away from the saftey of the cooler.

“Mickey don't drop..”

“Shut up” he replied but there was no venom in his voice.

He squeezed his legs tightly around him and watched as he headed to the back stairs. He didn't know how long this would last but right now he didn't care.

 ***********************************************************************************************

 What was he doing? How did this happen again? Fuck he didn't know and didn't care. Ian's legs were wrapped around his waist, his tongue playing playfully with his. He reached out and unlocked the door to his apartment flinging it open. They crashed into the living room wall lost in the moment. Ian slowly set his legs on the ground and stood up straight so that they were face to face his eyes filled with lust.

“i want you” Ian said soflty his hands were still pressed against his back.

“Yea? Good cause i'm gonna fuck you. Need to remind you who you belong to” he replied and stepped away from the wall and Ian's grasp.

“Go to my room” he demanded.

Ian looked at him for a moment then did as he was told. He stood there and watched as the redhead sauntered down the hallway. Fuck he was too sexy. His hard on was pressing against his jeans so he adjusted himself. He went to follow Ian but stopped looking back at the door. He walked over and closed the door locking it with his key. He wanted Ian to stay with him. He didn't want him to leave. This maybe pretend but he had the day to think about it and decided again it was better than nothing so he might as well enjoy it right? Ian wouldn't try to leave anyways, he shouldn't. This way though he wouldn't be able too. He could have him to himself for as long as he wanted. He felt the familiar high take over him knowing he was in control again. He had Ian and he wasn't going anywhere. He walked over to the window to check it and it was locked as usual. He kept those locked so knowone could break in, even though he was upstairs if someone really wanted to try they could get in and this was the South Side so better safe than sorry. Fully satisfied with the way his apartment was secure so the boy couldn't leave he walked down the hallway and into his room. Ian was sitting on the bed staring up at him.

'Why are those still on?” he said pointing at the the material still covering Ians body.

“ I was just waiting fo..”

“don't say anything just take em off and lay down” he replied as he kicked off his shoes and began to unbotton his jeans.

He watched as Ian stood up from the bed and pulled down his boxers letting his dick rest against his thigh. The kid sat down on the bed and scooted back so that he was lying naked in the middle.

He pulled of his boxers, throwing them on the floor then climbed onto the bed and over to Ian.

He climbed on top of him, resting his arms on either side of the boys head, their bare chests touching.

He leaned down and his lips met with Ian's roughly, his toungue sliding into his mouth as he moved one hand down to fondle the boys balls. His skin was delicate and smooth as his fingers moved their way up to grab the boys hard cock.

“Mmm” Ian moaned when he moved his hand back and forth.

“feels good don't it” he sighed and bit his neck.

“Ah” Ian cried at the feel of his teeth pressing into his skin.

“That's right”

Their lips met again and he could see Ians green eyes staring up at him. His stomach fluttered but he told himself to ignore it as he kissed him fiercely. That wasn't the point, Ian would never really want him so he wasn't going to let those feeling sneak in. Not again.

He stared back into the boys eyes intensly, fascinated by the way they looked beautifully haunted. They were lustfilled in the moment but he could see the sadness still behind them. Fuck he was perfect. He was so fucking sexy and he was his. He needed to remember that. Ian was his, only he could fuck him, only he could control him and have him hanging on his every word. Fuck the thought got him almost as hard as Ian did. He moved his face to the crook of his neck and sucked his soft skin between his teeth again elisiting another soft moan. He could feel Ians hand caressing his back moving slowly down until they were on his ass. His touch was warm and suprsingly firm as the boy kneeded his ass. He liked that Ian was touching him. He loved how into sex he was now. Ian could say he was was faking it until he was blue in the face because he knew the kid fucking loved it. He knew it the first time and he knew it now. He moved his lips down to his throat, he could feel Ian's pulse quicken as he moved his hand behind his neck . He couldn't help but remember the way it felt to have Ian squirming beneath him, struggling. It was a high like no other and now he was beneath him again only this time he was breathing heavily about to let him ravish his body. He moved his face lower nipping at his soft skin until he reached his colar bone. He was about to bite him again when he felt hands grab his face. Ian pulled him into a kiss that was deep and powerful. It was overwhelming actually as the boy held his face tightly.

“Mmm” he sighed and felt his body relax in Ian's grasp. Suddenly they were rolling over and Ian was on top of him. Fuck. He loved seeing Ian like this. His eyes were blown and filled with the need for sex. His hard dick was resting on his chest as he pressed their lips together. The boy pulled back staring at him then dipped his head down to kiss his chest. Fuck this was so fucking hot. Ian was taking the lead and he wanted to let him. He loved that he was touching HIM, kissing HIM. He wasn't reading into it, not this time. No he was just going to let the kid do what he wanted and enjoy it. This was just sex and they both were really fucking good at it. He felt Ian's tongue licking his body and his lips pressed tiny kisses into his skin. He wasn't being soft and timid about it either he was very confident.

“Fuck Ian” he sighed as the boy got dangerously close to his leaking cock. He felt his legs being spread apart and looked up to see the boy kneeling between them. Ian's mouth was now peppering kisses along the inside of his thigh, glancing up at him. This was really fucking strange for him but he liked it. He liked the attention, it was new and different. He leaned his head back and could feel the boys soft lips trailing over his skin. Suddenly he felt a sting of pain and pleasure and looked down to see Ian pulling his skin between his teeth.

“Shit, that..that feels really good” he gasped as Ian bit him again. He wondered if it would leave a mark. He kinda hoped it would, just a little something to remind him of this moment.

“Am I being good for you?” Ian spoke seductively staring up at him.

He was so eager to please, he could sence the neediness in his voice even though it was dripping with sex.

“Yea...Yea you're being real good Red. So fuck..”

He was caught off guard when ians wet lips encased his cock.

“mmm fuck man” he moaned.

Ian looked up at him as and his mouth moved over him with perfection. He could feel Ian's tonuge tracing cirlcles around his dick as he took more and more off him into his mouth.

“Such a good boy” he praised as he watched to boy go down on him.

Fuck he liked this. He really liked this. Ian taking initiave and doing things was so fucking hot and new he didn't ever want him to stop. He leaned his head back and enjoyed the feeling of the boys hot mouth around him. He was deep enough now he could feel his dick touching the back of the boys throat. He thought about when Ian had never given head before. It almost made him laugh because now the kid was a master at it. He felt the boys hand move down to cup his ass, massaging it as his head bobbed up and down. He was enjoying the feeling of being pleasured when he suddenly felt Ian lift up his legs.

“The fuck are y...” Ian's tougue brushed over his hole and he lost his words.

“fuuck”he sighed as the boy moved his tounge back and forth.

“You...you really are a dirty boy aren't you..fuck”

Ian looked up at him “Am I doing it right?”

“yes fuck, shut up and..”

There it was again his tounge was now pressing into him now. He could feel his hands grip the blanket under him as the boy kissed and sucked at his hole. He could not believe this was happening. He had not expected this at all but just like everything else Ian did it was perfect.

“so fucking good” He licked his lips and let the feeling of pleasure wash over him. He was about to say something else when he felt Ians finger press up against him.

NOPE. Not gonna happen. No FUCKING way. He reached down quickly and grabbed Ian under the arms throwing him off to the side so that he landed on his back. He quickly climbed on top of him and held down his arms roughly.

“the fuck was that Gallagher?” he snapped bringing his face close to the kids.

“I just thought..”

“Well you can shove that thought out of your pretty little head got it!” he replied squeezing his hands.

“yes Mickey I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you mad” Ian spoked softly as he stared up at him with wide eyes. Fuck. He was adorable..he was just fuck. He loosened his grip but still held him down. “You're mine Ian” he said and pressed his forehead against his so that their eyes were barely inches apart. “You're mine and I fuck you. That is how this works you understand me?” he whispered and kissed his cheek.

“Yes”

“good” Mickey replied and let go of the boys hands.

He ran his fingers over Ians mouth slowly pushing them inside. He didn't have to say anything, the moment they entered his wet mouth he began to suck on them. He loved that fucking mouth, even though the boy could say some stupid shit he did amazing things with that mouth.

“get em nice and wet for me” he said as the boy sucked. He pulled his fingers out and they were covered in saliva.

“That's good” he kissed his lips again and brought his hand down between his legs. He pressed a finger into the boys warm hole and let his body take him in.

“hmph” Ian whimpered into his mouth.

Damn even now the kid was so tight. He knew he would never get tired of the feel of his ass around any part of him.

“Yea you like that?' he said pulling away from the kiss leaving Ian staring up at him his face twisted in pleasure.

“yea I like it” he replied breathlessly as he slips his other finger inside him swirling it around.

“You want me to fuck you?”

“Yes Mickey I...fuck” Ian gasped as he found his prostate.

“I didn't hear you” he taunted.

“y..yes. Fuck me please” Ian moaned and rolled his hips over his fingers.

“You like it when I fuck you?” he replied pulling his fingers out and rubbing just one against Ian's hole.

Ian licked his lips, his body still grinding aginst him searching for his release.

“Yes Mickey”

“Yea? Tell me how much you like it” he says and presses his finger against him entering slightly.

“Mmm” Ian whines “I like it. I really like it.”

“Not good enough” he says and stares down at the kid raising his brow slowly pushing his finger into him again.

“You fuck me so good Mickey. Mm..please”

He loved hearing Ian beg, especially after he made a point to say how much he didn't like it. He pulled his finger out and reached over to his nightstand fumbling around in the drawer. He finally found what he was looking for pulling out a small bottle of lube. He grabbed Ians hand and squeezed a generous amount into it. The boy looked up at him in confusion, but he moved his hand to his dick and answered all his questions. The boy began to stroke him, coating him in the process.

“mm..so you were lying then?” he says as Ian pumps him back and forth.

“What?”

“You said you fake it and that you can't stand when I touch you. That was a lie.”

“Yes it was a lie Mickey. I want you to fuck me. You..just you” he whispers staring up at him.

“good boy”

He lined himself up with Ian's entrance pushed in slowly wanting to continue the torture he was inflicting on the eager boy below him but Ian had other ideas. The boy pushed his body down on him until he had bottomed out.

“please” he moaned and gripped his waist.

He quickly began thrusting into him. Ian's fingers digging into his back as he fucked him.

“uh..yes..hmm” Ian cried and arched his neck back on the matress. He continued to fuck him, kissing his neck between his own groans of pleasure. He wrapped his arms under the boys body so that he could hold him down as he fucked into him.

“So good Ian” he whispred in his ear.

He could feel Ian's muscles tighten around him.

“right there” Ian moans when he find his sweet spot so he pounds it again and again watching the pleasure written on the the boys face. He reaches down and begins to jerk at Ian's cock feverishly. Fuck. He cant hold out any longer “shit” he groans as he fills up the boys hole with his release.

“mm..Mickey” Ian sighs as he cums on his stomach in a hot pool.

He leans down and kisses the boy on the forehead before rolling off of him and stepping off the bed.

Ian is still lying down in his mess, he looks so sexy right now. His stomach glistening with cum and his red hair tussled from sex. It was still short but it had grown out quite a bit. He loved that hair, no way was Ian cutting it again.

“Come on” he replied and reached a hand down “you need a shower”

Ian grabbed his hand “Ok”

He pulled him up off the bed and they walked into the bathroom across the hall. He turned on the faucet ajusting the water to the perfect temperature. He stepped inside and Ian followed behind him. He'd never done this before, showered with someone. It was weirdly intimate but he didn't care it was practical. They were both smelling of cum and sex so why shower seperatley. He watched as Ian moved his hands through his hair letting the water fall over his toned body. He grabbed the soap and began to wash his own body but something was pulling at his mind as he brougt the bar over his own skin. He reached out rubbed the soap over Ians wet chest and the boy strared back at him with his green eyes. He was sprung, no denying it, he couldn't. He hated how much he had fallen for the kid because he had fucked it all up but that didn't make his feelings stop. In this moment as he soaped up the boys soft skin, his body inching closer to his, eyes staring into his soul like he was an open window. In this moment he didn't care. Fuck it.

He dropped the soap and grabbed Ian's face pulling him into a kiss. The water falling between their open mouths as they kissed hungerly. Ian reached down and grabbed his dick firmly moving his hand back and forth.

“fuck...you dirty boy” he sighed as he felt himself approaching another climax.

“You love it” Ian whipsered.

The sultry tone in the boys voice and the words he spoke threw him over the egde and he came on the shower floor.

“God damn Gallagher, we need to do this shit more often” he laughed pushing Ian out from under the shower so he could rinse himself off. That was fucking amazing, no wonder people raved about shower sex..fuck.

He stepped out onto his bathroom mat and reached for a towel. He towled of his hair and pulled open the curtain to see the redhead with eyes closed letting the water shower his face.

“come on freak. I'm starving”

“Sex will do that” Ian said with a smirk, that made him return the gesture. Fucking kid making him smile now..Fuck.

Ian stepped out of the shower, the water dripping off his naked body and immediately he wanted to fuck him again. There's no rush he reminded himself. He was gonna stay with him for a while, he wasn't sure how long yet but at least a week. He needed the alone time with him, he needed to try and sift through his fantasy and see if there was any truth to it. He needed to know if he had a chance because it was driving him mad. A part of him already knew the answer which is why he had the doors locked. He knew he didn't but he needed to prove it to himself. Either way the kid was staying.

“Here” he said and handed him the towel.

Ian wrapped it around his body and he opened the door walking into his room. He pulled on his boxers and jeans looking over at the bed. Ian was sitting there quietly in his towel watching him.

“You're freaking me out kid. Get dressed or something” he laughed and put on his shirt.

“I fucking hungry. Gonna run and get us some food. What do you want?”

Ian layed back on the bed in still nothing but a towel and tapped his fingers on his stomach.

“Hmm I kinda want a burger, but like a real one” he replied.

This kid. “The fuck do you mean like not from McDonalds?”

“I guess, if that's ok”

He was to cute. He climbed ontop of him and looked in his eyes “Of course that's ok” he wanted to spoil him, he wanted to take care of him. He wanted everything. “You want a shake too? I'm gonna get one if I gotta go to an actual fucking burger joint”

“Strawberry?”

He climbed off the bed. “Strawberry it is. I'l be back in a few. Get dressed or don't I don't fucking care” he replied and put his boots on.

He walked out of the room and grabbed his keys from the kitchen counter. He needed to be more careful, Ian was with him this whole time but still. The last thing he wanted was the kid to find his keys. He opened the door and shut it tightly behind him, locking it with his key and walking downstairs.

 

**********************************************************************************

Ian lay on the bed in his towel staring up at the ceiling. He felt good, he was happy. He had made up with Mickey and now the guy was happy again and he loved when Mickey was happy. He was soft and gentle and took care of him. He liked being spoiled it was one of the reasons he dated older guys. They were always buying him things and taking him out. It's not that he was materialistic he just liked the attention. At home he was just the middle child in a house full of chaos where everyone was just trying to scrape by. When he was on a date it was different..no. When he was with Mickey it was different. Mickey was the first person he'd met who he actually felt needed him, truly wanted him. He conviced himself that was why he was so controlling, he wanted him that much. He was glad they made up, he didn't know how to be without him anymore.

 He sat up and looked around the floor for his clothes but remembered they were downstairs. He stood up and pulled on his boxers walking over to Mickeys dresser. He pulled out a long green shirt and put it on, he could grab his pants later. He sat back down on the bed glancing around the room. It was weird. He'd only been in Mickey's apartment once before and it was...bad.

He felt himself picking at the fibers of the blanket as he continued to look around the room. It was crazy to think almost a year had gone by since he was last here and how so much had changed.

He remembered the fight he had with Mickey, how he told him he wasn't his puppet and that he could fuck off . He shook his head at the thought. Where did that person go? What happened to that fire?

 He lied back on the bed trying to calm his thoughts but his mind drifted back to that day. He thought about how Mickey had picked him up and carried him upstairs locking him in his room.

He shivered at the thought and glanced over to the bedroom door that was wide open and felt himself calm down. He could here Mickey's voice telling him to take his clothes off and get on the bed just like he did earlier. He sat up again and put his head in his lap as the memories rushed into his head. He remembered Mickey bending him over the bed and fucking him even after he said no. He said no to everything but somehow still ended up doing it all. What the fuck was wrong with him? How has it been almost a year and he was still doing this? It was different that's why. Mickey was different, before he was rough and forceful, he was just mean. He just wanted sex, now he was nicer. He was softer and he hadn't hit him in a long time. This morning was an accident. This morning he was mad and was purposefully pushing Mickey's buttons. This was not the same. He glanced to the side of the room and remembered blacking out. He blacked out because Mickey freaked out and choked him. He choked him and he fucking passed out.

“Fuck” he said shakily and jumped up from the bed.

He didn't want to be in here anymore. He didn't want to think back to that time. It was too much, he had been forced into sex, hit, choked a belittled in this room by the same person he just spent the afternoon willing fucking . He walked backwards out of the room until his back leaned against the hallway wall. He needed to relax. That was a long time ago, Mickey was different now. He was. He had locked him up like a prisoner last time. He didn't do that this time. He could have shut him in his room but he didn't because he wasn't the same. That Mickey was fucked up and twisted and only wanted one thing. This Mickey was still fucking insane but he could tell he wanted more, he wasn't just a warm mouth no matter what he said.

 

He walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge door. There was a 6 pack of beer so he grabbed one a popped the tab letting the cool liquid fill his mouth. He swallowed his mouth full of beer and mosied around the kitchen for a moment. He was about to walk over to the couch when he stopped to stare at the front door. He didn't want to leave but he could if he wanted to. Mickey didn't lock the bedroom door so why would he lock this one. He wouldn't, he was being silly. He walked over and sat down on the couch turning on the TV. South Park was playing re runs. He loved that show, he could watch re runs of re runs. He leaned back into the couch and sipped his beer but he couldn't get comfortable. Something was nagging at him. It was stupid but he needed to shut up the voice in his head. He sat his beer on the living room table and stood up from the couch walking over to the door. He reached out to turn the handle, exspecting it to open but it remained closed.

“No” he said softly and tried to open it again.

No! This was not happening, the fucking door was locked. Mickey had locked him in his apartment. He...he wasn't different. He walked over to the couch and climbed on it, pulling his knees to his chest.

He was all wrong. This was not a relationship, this was nothing like that. He was a prisoner. He had no choice at all...none. Being in the real world with Mickey and Mandy he had somehow convinced himself differently. He had convicnced himself this was ok, they were ok as long as he kept Mickey happy. In reality it didn't matter. The only reason he kept Mickey happy was so he wouldn't freak out on him and call him names or hit him. That was the reason he wanted Mickey happy. For fucks sake he was locked in an apartment above his fucking work, what the fuck? Who does that? Did he plan on it? When did he decided he was keeping him here? Was it before he came to work? Was it when he fucked him? Maybe it was in the shower where they had another moment..no. Not a moment, he was just a pawn in Mickey's sick game. Fuck. He felt all the sanity he had triend to keep slowly drain from him as his world began to blur. He wiped a tear from his eye. This was it. Mickey was it. This is what he had to look forward to, this was his life. He was giong to be a pawn in Mickey's game until the guy tossed him aside. Fuck. He wiped his eyes with his shirt and reached for his beer.

He slammed it and sank back into the fabric of the couch, trying not to cry again. He had tried so hard to pretend this was real that he wasn't being forced but he was. Just then he heard the door open. He buried his face into the warm cousions of the couch, not wanting too look at Mickey ever again even though he knew again he had no choice.

****************************************************************************

Joint POV

 

His hands are full as the door swings open and he's afraid of droping their drinks "Ay get your ass up man. Grab these shakes"

Ian says nothing and lays on the couch "Yo are you fucking sleeping kid get up and help me"

 

He heard Mickey talking to him but didn't want to aknowledge his prescence. He would have continued to ignore him but he knew that would end badly so he answered after a few more seconds of silence. "Oh yea sorry I'll help you"

He walks over to Mickey and grabs the drinkholder from his hand walking back over to the couch. He can hear the man shut the door and lock it lock it before following him. Mickey plops down next to him.

"here" he says handing him a burger and a cup of fries. "Wasn't sure what you wanted so i got you the same weird shit you had last time with sprouts and fucking avacado" Mickey grimaced and reached back in the bag.

"Thanks this is good. Usually what I get I anyways" he replies not wanting to have a conversation. He wasn't hungry anymore. His appetite was destoyed with his pride so he sat his food down on the table leaning back into the couch to watch the colorful images on the TV. He didn't want to think or to talk. He just wanted to dissapear into his show.

 

He grabs his own burger from the bag. Good old bbq and bacon, the only way to eat a burger. Ian has the TV on and his eyes are glued to the cartoon playing. "South Park? I've only seen a few episodes but they were pretty fuckin funny." he takes a bite of his burger and watches as Ian stares into the tv barely touching his food. "You not hungry anymore or what ?"

"Guess I must've lost my appetite" Ian replies plainly.

Are you fucking kidding me? He did not just spend 30$ and drive across fuckin town for no reason. He set his food down on the table. "Really? I go across town to get you something not from fuckin “McDonalds” and suddenly you loose your fuckin appetite?”

He took a sip of his vanilla shake and licked his lips placing it on the table “Fuck that man, eat your food"

Fucking kid. What the fuck? He could tell something was off, the vibe was different in the room but he didn't know why. Ian was acting like he used to in the beginning but why?

"at least try" he said picking up his burger taking another bite before taking a long sip of his milkshake.

"You're right Mickey I'm sorry. I'll try"

"Good boy" he said and set his hand on Ian's leg. He stared at Ian as he took a small bite of his food then put it back down on the table, not removing his eyes from the TV.

"The fuck is wrong with you. One minute you're happy and joking around and now you look like a scared puppy"

"Nothing I'm fine"

"Ay look at me." He said grabbing the boys face and turning it so that he could meet his eyes. Ian quickly glanced down to the floor to avoid his gaze.

"fucking fine huh? Don't lie to me Ian. You know that shit just pisses me off" he replies letting go of the boys face and reaching inside his jacket for his smokes. Ian still said nothing as he continued to stare at the floor. "Obviously somethin is wrong or you wouldn't be actin like a bitch" he said lighting up his cigarette.

He watched as Ian picked up his burger and took another bite. Cheewing slowly. What the fuck man? What was wrong with this stupid kid? It was like he had completely changed in the what... the 40 minutes he was gone. The fuck could happen in 40 fucking minutes. He took a drag of his cigarette and waited for Ian to say something.

"I really don't know what you mean. I'm not lying ok everything is fine"

That's it he was done playing nice. Things were going good, no great but like always it has to get fucked up. He knew Ian was lying but he disnt know why and that pissed him off. Did he think he couldn't tell something was wrong. He was moping around barely touching his food and he had not looked him in the eye since he sat down.

"You're fucking stupid you know that?" He snapped and inhaled his cigarete. "Here we were having a nice time and you have to go fuck it up with your fucking attitude. Way to go kid"

"I'm sorry I'm not trying to. I'll eat"

Ian reached took another bote of his burger them grabbed his shake. Fuck this was worse. He didnt want to force him to eat i mean he wanted food before what changed?

"Seriously? I dont care about the food its your attitude that's pissing me off?" He replied putting out his smoke. And grabbing his own shake.

"I'll change my attitude so it doesn't make you mad.” Ian said softly and looked at him. His green eyes were dim not like they were before. Ian glanced at the floor then looked at him again.

“ I was wondering why you locked the door Mickey"

He was taken back by the question and slightly hurt even though he knew he had no right. He didn't think...he didn't. He rubbed his nose and looked over at ian. "You tried to leave?"

"I didn't want to leave but I tried the door and it was locked"

Fuck. Why would he try to leave? They were having a good time. They were playful and happy right? No. Not right, that was just his stupid feelings getting the way of the truth. Fuck feelings and fuck Ian for making him feel them in the first place.

"Why would you even touch the door in the first fucking place hmm? Its locked because your staying here kid, kinda self explanitory. Was really hoping you wouldnt try and leave though. Not gonna lie its dissapointing"

It was true, he really hoped Ian would want to stay with him but I guess now he knows right.

"Mickey I'm sorry I promise I wasn't gonna leave"

Liar.

"Yea right kid.” he scoffed “How am i supposed to believe you? I only locked the fucking door cause i knew you're ass would pull this shit, so don't fucking lie to me"

He got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen. He had lost is appetite now. He opened the fridge and pulled out a beer and popped the tab taking a long swig. Again this is what he gets for being nice. "Guess what kid, you're stuck here so get fuckin used to it. We get to spend a whole fuckin week together so i suggest you behave"

"A week. But I have school and work and my family. Mickey I can't stay here that long. I just can't. Maybe a day but I need to go home"

He laughed and walked back over to the couch. "Is that what you think?" he took a swig of his beer and scooted close to Ian and touched the side of his face with the back of his hand."Yea you don't have to worry about that Red. I'll take care of it. You just worry about being a good boy for me"

"But how? This doesn't seem like it's going to work" Ian replied.

"Stop asking stupid fucking questions!" he snapped jumping up from the couch. He looked down at Ian "The fuck is wrong with you huh? You think you can question me now is that it? You think i care if the shits makes fucking sense to you kid. If i fucking say don't worry about it then don't fucking worry about it" he yells. Fuck he can feel his anger about to explode, bubbling to the surface, he needs to fight his urge so he takes a few steps back away from the kid. Not again, never again. He could at least do that..he hoped.

 

Fuck he was mad. He was really mad. This isn't what he wanted. He didn't really know wht he wanted anymore but he did know Mickey was mean when he was mad.

"I'm sorry ok please. You're right Mickey you're always right. Things will work out I don't need to worry. Forget what I said please don't be upset with me"

"I know i'm fuckin right Ian. It's you who doesn't know how to fucking listen. You're the one to who's to stupid to know when to shut the fuck up. First you try to leave, then you fuckin lie about it and now" Mickey licked his lips " now you're fucking questioning what i say. DO i need to remind you who you belong to because it seems like in the matter of a fucking hour you forgot"

He just wanted this to be over. He hated feeling like this, he felt small, weak and afraid. He was afraid, Mickey did that sometimes.

"No please I remember I do. I didn't want to make you mad. I shouldn't have said anything. I ruined it. I want you be happy. I know I can be a good boy if you just let me" he begs.

"Your lucky i even like you. I should just let you fucking leave and you can try to find someone else who wants your sorry ass. I don't know who would but your're welcome to try" Mickey says darkly.

Fuck. He didn't know what to do. he was gonna be stuck here with the guy he needed to keep him happy. As long as he was happy things would be ok. He tried to put everything out of his mind except for that moment. Right now he wanted to please, he wanted to make Mickey happy.

“I don't want to Mickey. I just want to make you feel good. I wanna be good for you.” He knelt down on his knees and undid Mickeys jeans pulling down his boxers.

“You've been pretty bad kid” Mickey responded as he pulled his dick out and squeezed it with his hands.

“I'm sorry” he replied and kissed the head of his penis sucking ever so slightly.

“Hmm” Mickey sighed and licked his lips.

He looked at him through his lashes and and pushed his lips futher down on his shaft bobbing his head up and down.

“Fuck” Mickey sighed.

He took him in slowly, licking from the base to the tip with each bob of his head.

“Hm no. Gonna fuck your mouth Red.” Mickey groaned and he felt the guys hands push his head down firmly. Soon his cock was thrusting to his mouth as he worked him. He could feel the tip grazing his throat over and over and tried not to gag. Mickey was hloding his head down tight..too tight he couldnt breath. He tried to pull away but the man just shook his head.

“Take it like a good boy Ian. I know you can”

Fuck. He relaxed his body the best he could letting Mickeys cock glide easier down his throat. He breathed through his nose and found it wasn't as bad as it seemed. Mickey continued to fuck his throat for a few more seconds then stopped shoving him off him.

“What are you..” he couldn't finish his sentence because he was being lifted of the ground and bent over the living room couch.

“You really have been a bad boy Ian and we know what happens to bad boys don't we” Mickey said.

He hated this, it was demeaning and made him feel so small but he knew if he didn't answer it would be worse.

“Bad boys get punished” he said softly.

“mm hmm that's right” Mickey replied pulling down his boxers. He felt him press in and start moving right away.

“Huh” he sighed as Mickey fucked him against the couch.

“So bad Ian” Mickey groaned and he felt a sharp sting on his ass.

“Fuck Mickey” he cried out surprised by the slap on the ass.

“What?” Mickey said coyly and spanked his ass again, the hot heat running over his skin was mixed with pleasure as Mickey squeezed his ass.

He thrust into him again hard wrapping his arm around his neck pulling his head back.

“You gonna be good?” Mickey says looking into his eyes as his arm pushes against his throat.

“Yes I'm sorry”

Mickey rolled his eyes and pulled his head back more so he could whisper in his ear “I dont wanna hear sorry. I want you to tell me you'll be good”

“I'll be good Mickey. I'll be a good boy” he moans as Mickey thrust up into him.

“Better be”

Mickey unwrps his arm and moves his hands to his waist pulling down on his hips.

“Shit” he cries as he feels his body tighten. “I'm gonna cum”

“Good for you” Mickey replies and continues to fuck him hard.

“Fuck” he sighs feeling the hot liquid drip down his leg.

Mickey is still fucking him and its more uncomfortable almost too much.

“So fucking tight Ian” he groans and digs his fingers into his skin as he pumps into him.

“Ah..uh” he cries as the feeling becomes overwhelming.

“shh almost there” Mickey says and thrust into him again and again.

 ***********************************************************************************************

“Fuck” he sighes as he cums in Ians abused hole. He leans down against him and kisses his cheek before pulling out and walking over to the front of the couch.

“Go clean your shit up and meet me in my room” he replies looking over and Ian who is still leaning against the couch.

“Ok”

“That's a good boy” he says with a smile.

He watches as Ian stands up from the couch and walks down the hallway to the bathroom shutting the door behind him. This was just a bump. They had plenty of time to work on it. Ian was going to be with him for the week. He was sure he would behave and then they could be happy again or at least pretend to be.

 

 

 


	23. Sorry I'm Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey talks his sister. Mandy makes a big decision and Ian realizes how much he hates math.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter took forever and i apologize. The good news is there are more to follow. I appreciate everyone new and old who is following this story, thank you for your support. xoxox
> 
> Thank you jessiac92, the ying to my yang. You help me make magic xoxox
> 
> I was really feeling this song for Mickey, if you don't like it i'm sorry lol xo

 

Mickey took a deep breath as he pulled up to his sister's house. He had not talked to her since she stormed out of the house yesterday morning. He didn't like how much their relationship had changed. It was as if he wasn't her big brother any more. He used to be the person who spoiled her and she looked up too. He was her protector. Now he was a stranger, a monster, someone she loved deep down but hated openly. It was clear she had lost all respect for him. From the way she spoke to the look she got every time she saw his face. Her eyes used to light up when they playfully talked shit to each other now her insults were real.  
He knew if he had any chance of becoming a better person, at being someone who deserved Ian rather than just took him he would need his sister. That meant he would need to apologize and he did not do apologies. He did however have a credit card that he used for emergencies and this felt like a good enough time to use it. 

He opened the car door and stepped out making his way over to the stairs. He really wanted to burn this place to the ground there were so many bad memories. He hated that his sister was here. At least Terry was gone, thank fuck for small favors.  
He walked up the stairs and pushed the door open not suprised to see Mandy on the couch painting her nails.  
"Ay"

She looked up to see her brother. What was he doing here? Didn't he say all he needed yesterday? "What the fuck do you want?" She sneered then made sure to not fuck up her nails.

Mickey expected her to be upset why wouldn't she. He glanced at the floor then up at his sister "Come on get your ass up, we're goin to breakfast"

She was still pissed. Mickey really said some fucked up shit. He made her feel like she wasn't wanted. He never made her feel like that before even though they talked shit all the time. She stood up "Fine but only because I'm hungry and you're fucking payin"

"Yea whatever lets go" he rolled his eyes and turned to walk out the door. Mandy followed behind and locked the door behind her. He looked over at his sister and had so many things he wanted to say but no words came out so instead he reached into his jacket and pulled out a cigarette lighting it up. They got in the car and drove away.  
He was kind of excited to see his sister's reaction when they crossed over into the North Side. She had never been to that side of town unlike him. Occasionally he would venture that way for his side buisness. Lots of money in them Northside pockets and they were ignorant to the ways of the street so he always made bank. He looked over at his sister who had an absent look on her face as she stared out the window.  
"I'm not like dad" he said his voice wavering. He turned his eyes back to road and jumped on to the highway.

She sighed and looked at her brother. She didn't use to think he was. Never thought Terry and Mickey would ever be associated "I didn't think so either but the shit you've been pulling lately...I can see similarities"

His sisters words cut into his heart like a knife. The reality that she actually compared him to his father was a horrible feeling. He was nothing like him...nothing. He could see the pain in her eyes as she spoke and it was too much. He wanted to be that person she loved and looked up to, not the person who she saw now.  
He took a drag of his cigarette and pulled into the parking lot of Hashbrowns. He'd driven by this place a few times but never thought about stopping. He might do buisness up North sometimes but that didn't mean he actually liked hanging out on this side of town.   
“I'm fucking starved” he said awkwardly not knowing how to respond.

"Really Hashbrowns. You trying to fucking suck up to me Mick?" She tried to act unimpressed but she was excited. Everything looked clean and fancy on the North side. She wasn't ready to just forgive her brother though. He was gonna have to work for it.

"Fuck off" he replied but the words came out soft and playful. "Saw this place and looked like they would have some good pancakes. I know how much you like your fuckin pancakes. Grab your shit lets go, they probably got a waitlist of somethin fuckin stupid like that" he turned off the car and they both got out. He walked over to the door and held it open letting Mandy walk in first.

She walked in and looked around. Damn this place was nice. It was probably the fanciest breakfast place she had ever been to. Wonder if the pancakes tasted better? This place looked like fucking everything was better. "What if I don't want pancakes hmm?" She knew she was being petty but oh well. 

Mickey laughed just happy his sister was talking to him. “I'm sure you'll find somethin, picky bitch” he shoved her playfully in the shoulder then walked up to the hostess.  
“How many?” the short women asked. She had a mousy face and black hair pulled back into a tight ponytail. The look on her face was as forced as his politeness.  
“Two please”  
“Great! Follow me” she replied waving her hand as she quickly walked away. They followed her to a booth by the window. There were flowers on table and cloth napkins folded delicately.  
“Meg will be with you shortly can I get you a drink?”  
“I'll take a beer.” he said plainly looking through the list on the menu.  
“We've got Pale Ale, Winter Wheat, Blue Moon”  
He shook his head in frustration “How bout' beer?”  
“We have Bud Light?”  
“Great that” he looked at his sister “pick somethin”

"I'll take an orange juice" the hostess walked away to get their drinks. She picked up the menu to see what she wanted. Mickey was right she fucking loved pancakes but sometimes you need a change. Fuck there was a lot of shit here. What the fuck was eggs Benedict? The only thing she could thing of was Benedict Arnold and he was a dick. So anything named after him must be bad. Pancakes it is. "So what you want?"

He barely glanced over the menu before he decided. “I'm feeling the french toast” he said setting his menu down. “Look Mandy. Shit is weird with us and I don't like it. I want it to go back to how it was you know?' he said avoiding his sister's gaze playing with the napkin on the table. He hated talking like this, being fucking emotional. He didn't show emotion. He wasn't a bitch but he missed his sister. She was there all the time but not really.

She was quiet. She wasn't sure what to say. Shit was weird but she didn't know how to fix it. I guess they have to fucking talk through it. "I know shits weird but don't know what to do about it" she shrugged her shoulders and sighed "You've changed. I talked with you before about Ian and apparently you're still acting like a complete dick. Then you were an asshole to me. So fuck you Mick you wanna act like dick I'll treat you like one"

He took a deep breath and held back the words on his tongue. He knew his temper would ruin this so he needed to just breath. “I'm tryin ok.” he sucked his bottom lip between his teeth. You don't know what goes on with us only what you hear ok so don't act like you do.  
Fuck he wanted to smoke. He couldn't but fuck his brain was going into flight mode. He curled the napkin around his finger nervously.  
“I'm always an asshole Mandy. I don't fuckin think ok. I know I've changed but so have you. How can you expect me not to freak when you talk like that, you know me better than that. That shit hasn't changed”

She could see that her brother was getting angry. He was right though she never talked to him like this before. Not until she found out about all this crazy shit with Ian and she lost her respect. "I thought you were trying. Ian said shit was getting better. That you had good moments. The way you acted yesterday though...I don't believe him" she looked down not wanting her brother to see how much he hurt her "That thing you said to me yesterday made me feel shit"

"I didn't mean it alright" he paused when the waitress came over with there drinks.   
"Bud light for you and an orange juice for you" she said with a smile and placed the drinks on the table.  
They quickly ordered their food eager to get the perky 20yr old away from their table. Finally she left and Mickey looked at his sister.  
"This right here" he gestured between the two of them "I need this ok. You're my sister for fucks sake. I need that"

She looked at her brother. She could tell he was sorry but she didn't know if she was ready to forgive him. Not yet anyways. "I need it too. You're the one person in this fucked up place that was always there for me. I just don't know what the fuck is going on with you Mick" she leaned back in the booth and crossed her arms against her chest. "Do you even know?"

This was getting a little too emotional. He honestly didn't think he had changed that much. He was still the same person. He was still an asshole the same that he'd always been the only difference now is he had Ian. Ian was a big difference. Ian made him feel ways that he'd never felt with anyone before and that could be good or bad. Fuck..maybe he had changed. He'd be lying if he said he didn't notice it. Something about being with Ian had brought out a darkness in him but he wasn't sure if he hated it or not. There were times like now that he did and other times it made him feel strong and in control. It was addicting. Having power was addicting because he never did before..not really.  
“Honestly Mandy I just want things to be how they were you know, I want to be happy.”

She sighed and leaned forward putting her elbows on the table. "Yea I get that Mickey but you're gonna have to fight for it. Shit doesn't just get fuckin better cause you want it to. I don't know what you're doing with Ian. I wish you would just stop but you'll do what you want" she sat up straight glaring at him "But that shit you said to me yesterday" she looked down playing with her hands "You made me feel unwanted and everyone else already makes me feel like that" she glanced up "So don't do it again douchebag"

"Yea yea. I know I'm a dick ok. You've made that clear" he laughed.  
Just then the waitress appeared with their food.  
"Can i get you anything else?"  
Mickey waived his hand dismissively "We're good thanks"  
He cut into his french toast letting the fragrance of hot maple syrup fill his nose.  
"Fuck thats good shit. " he took at bite and looked over at his sister. "You ever plan on goin back to school or what?"

She took a bite of her chocolate chip pancakes. It was like dessert and breakfast. So good. "Why? Not like you fuckin graduated. Like I've thought about it sure but what's the point? I did shitty so I figure you can't fail if you never try"

"Dont be stupid Mandy. It's like I tell Ian. Just because we're expected to fuckin fail don't mean we have to. So what if you suck at it just fuckin go and get that piece of paper" he licked the syrup off his fork before taking another bite. "You're the only chance this family has at not bein complete fuck ups" he laughed and took a sip of his beer.

"I'm not stupid Mick you should really stop using that word asshole" she drank the rest of her juice. "Fine let's say I went back. Say I did my homework, graduated then what hmm?" she took the final bite of her pancakes and dropped the fork with a clank drawing looks from the snobby bitches at the next table.

"That's the point Mandy you're not fuckin stupid." He sighed and pulled out his credit card. "Just go and we'll worry about everything else later."

"Fine I'll think about it. Just don't expect me to get straight As. You'll have to be happy if I even get Cs" she grabbed her napkin and thought. Maybe she could go back to school. Something to think about.

"Well if you go back we gotta get you some new clothes" he said signing the check and standing up from the table. "What do say? You gonna fuckin go?"

"Fine you win. Now let's go buy me some clothes" she got up and started walking out with Mickey following behind "I'm gonna need new makeup too" she laughed and looked at her brother "I'm gonna spend so much of your money"  
***********************************************************************************

It had been a good morning. He woke up next to Ian which scared him before but this morning it felt right. He only wished the boy's body was wrapped around him rather than curled up at the far end of the bed.

He'd dropped him off at school and decided to go talk to his sister. It was awful, way to many feeling for that early..or ever. He was happy though. They needed to talk. Mandy was his rock and he was hers. They needed each other. Today felt like one step closer to fixing their relationship. He took her out to breakfast at a fancy restraunt then treated her to a shopping spree at the mall. Well maybe not a spree he wasn't made of money but by the time they were done she had 5 new outfits and a makeup set and he had a nearly maxed out credit card. Whatever. The look on her face was worth it. He missed that look. He honeslty loved spoiling his little sister, if he didn't he wouldn't do it. He dropped her off and they smoked some weed until he had to leave. Ian got out of school at 2:30 and he was eager to see him. It had been such a good day and for some reason he wanted to share it with him.

****************************************************************************

He walks over to Mickey's car opening the door. This was so weird..being escorted. He sat down and looked at his hands trying to think of something anything to say rather than the awkward silence falling over them. He fiddles with the strap of his backpack and looks over at Mickey. "So..how has your day been?" Ugh really super lame. Whatever.

Mickey chuckles and pulls out a cigarette then lights it "How's my day been? Had breakfast with Mandy. French toast was bomb. Took her ass to the mall and she spent all my fuckin money. It's been a good day kid, have a feelin it's gonna get even better though." He smiled and offered Ian a cigarette. "How's your fuckin day been Red?

Ian takes the smoke and brings it to his lips. Mickey leans over and lights it then sits back in his seat. He takes a drag and exhales "school was lame but it's been good i guess" he replies

"Yea school's lame man but it's good you're fucking goin. You're better than being a highschool drop out and I got tired of telling you to fuckin go" he laughs and starts the car.

" No one asked you to" he replies. "But thanks I guess" he takes a drag of his smoke and looks out the window. The fact that Mickey seemed to care so much about him going to school so he could have a future was ironinc. What type of future was he going to have? West Pointe was gone so that left the Army. That meant he would enlist, how was he supposed to do that if the only future he could see was one with him. He had come around to the idea when he thought maybe this thing they had was fucked up but something..now he just felt like a prisoner.

He shook his head and rubbed his knuckle against his nose. He was trying but the kid was so frustrating sometimes. He had made it clear why he wanted him to go to school. He didn't want him to fuck up his life the way he did. He didn't want him to be lost to the South Side, he was too good for that. Yet here he was throwing around attitude actin like it was none of his buisness. Of course it was. Ian was his so that made it his fuckin buisness. He looked at Ian "You know you can cool it with you're fuckin attitude man. No one fuckin asked me but guess what you're mine so you do what I say. I want you to go to school so you fuckin go. End of story got it?”

Ian looked down at the floor unsure of what to say. He didn't want Mickey to be mad at him, he wanted him to be happy so that he could try to and have a good time.  
"Yea I know. That's not what I meant. I'm sorry. I...I'm glad you talked to me about it. Thank you" he replies tossing his cigarette out the window.

"Good boy. Now what do you wanna do we got two hours before your shift starts and we gotta get back to work?"

Ian couldn't help but blush at the phrase. It was demeaning but filled with praise and for some reason he found himself craving, needing the mans praise even now.  
"I'm kinda hungry"

He noticed the blush on the boy's cheeks. He smiled and took a drag from his cigarette. "We can get food” he replied raising his brow “we're gonna need energy for later"  
He couldn't get enough of Ian. Even now he wanted to rip off his clothes and trace his tongue over the freckles on his neck. He could wait though, he kind of had to. He was driving and not to mention sex in the car was pretty fuckin public and he was no where close to being ready for that.  
“What you want?"   
"Whatever you want I guess, I'm not really picky"  
"Fine we'll get pizza. You like pineapple right? We'll go pick it up at take it back to the apartment.

"Yea I love pineapple." His stomach starting to rumble at the thought of hot Hawaiian pizza. He didn't really want to sit around at the apartment. He hated that place. He wondered how Mickey would react but decided to ask anyways. "Can we eat there?"

He hadn't planned on eating there but honestly he didn't care. He wanted to make Ian happy. The kid been in a bad mood ever since last night after the whole thing with the door being locked. He wasn't going to stop locking the door but he wanted to try and make him feel comfortable, to relax. He just wanted to spend some actual time with him.  
"Sure Red who gives a shit, we can eat there"  
Just then Ian's phone rang.  
“It's Fiona”  
“The fuck do I care man take your call” he replied. He could give a fuck less who was calling.  
He glanced over at Ian on the phone, his mouth was turned down and his eye were filled with frustration.  
Ok. Now he was curious. He was trying to keep Ian in a good mood and somehow his sister was fucking it up.  
“Ok. I know. Love you too” Ian hung up the phone and sighed leaning back against the seat.

They drove in silence until they pulled into the parking lot. The vibe was too awkward for Mickey so he decided to say the first thing that came to mind. "So how's things at home? That was your sister right?"

"They're fine" he said opening the car door. He stepped out shutting the door watching as Mickey got out of the drivers seat. “Fiona just quit her job at the supermarket so money' gonna be tight now"

He looked over at the boy. He knew exactly why his sister quit. He couldn't help but feel uncomfortable. He was nothing fucking like him... right? "That's too bad. She's resourceful though I'm sure she'll fuckin find something" He said holding open the door.

"Yea...she will. I'm lucky I have this job or else we'd be on our asses. I guess there's a silver lining for everything" he replied as he walked inside and looked around.

He could here exactly what the kid was saying. He was saying at least he got a paycheck even though it meant spending time with him. He shouldn't have expected anything less but it still got to him. It never failed. The kid got under his skin completely. Whether it was with the way he smiled or smartass comments like that one. He knew just how to get to him.  
"Yea you're fuckin lucky. I put up with a lot of shit from you kid, drive me fuckin crazy.”  
He grabbed a menu off the wall and they sat down in booth towards the back.  
"I've never been here before. You think they even have a pinapple pizza?" Ian said as his eyes searched over the menu.  
He laughed softly and rolled his eyes. This fucking guy. "Good thing you're going back to school Gallagher, cause you sound fucking stupid right now. Look at the sign Ian it says create your own fuckin pizza. So go ahead create whatever you want. I'm buying so go nuts"

"Thanks Mickey...this is actually nice for a change" he replied Ugh what was wrong with him? He kept saying stupid shit! No wonder Mickey was always getting mad. He just needed to be quiet but he couldn't. Why? It was like he had lost his filter or something. Whatever might as well say what was on his mind while they were in public. "I mean you never really do nice things" he said quickly averting his eyes and looking back at the menu.

Seriously? He tried to do nice things, the fuck did this kid consider nice anyways? They had been together less than an hour and he was already losing his patience fuck!  
"I think we do plenty of nice things" he lowered his voice so only Ian to hear. "We did nice things in the stockroom. Fuckin nice things at your house. Just last night we did nice things" he wanted to make the kid squirm. He knew it wasn't what he was refering to but he also knew Ian enjoyed sex so technically it was a nice thing. Fuckin kid just keeps running his mouth. Did he even realize it?  
He looked at the menu "Im getting pepperoni with jalapeños. What you getting?"

He couldn't help but blush at Mickey's words. Yes sex was hot and he did enjoy it but that's not what he meant. He never pictured himself on a date with the guy. Wait...was this a date? It kinda felt like it but whatever. He just needed order his food and stop reading into it.  
"I'm sorry I just thought you already knew. I assumed you did anyways.”  
He always had the same pizza. Pinapple and ham. He looked over at Mickey who was staring back at him. His eyes were so blue, deep and dark. They were mysterious just like him. He wished he could read the guy but he could never tell what he was thinking. All he could do was wait and see.

He placed the menu back on the table. "Of course I know what you like. Just making fuckin conversation. I guess we can just stare at each other" he said dejectedly "Where the fuck is the waitress?"  
"Hi there!" a petite blonde women stood in front of them with a cheesy grin. "My name is Sandra and I will be your server. Now what can I get started for you boys?" she said looking between the two of them.  
Fuck the waitress seemed chipper for working in a fucking pizza joint. He looked over at Ian who was still looking down. Guess he's ordering. "Uh yea I'll get the pepperoni with jalapeños beer to drink and he'll have Hawaiian with Dr. Pepper"

She smiled at them then left to put their order in. "So you said you hung out with Mandy and went shopping? That sounds like fun" Ian said glacing up at Mickey

Now the kid wanted to talk. Earlier when he tried to make conversation the boy gave him attitude. Here he was trying to be nice and he got fucking attitude. " Yea it was. My fuckin day was great until your ass started giving me attitude. I'm trying to be nice and do nice shit but you make it really fuckin hard sometimes" he rubbed his knuckle against his nose. He was trying to be good, he wanted to but the kid made it seem impossible.

"I'm not.." he paused.."I'm sorry ok. You didn't have to pick me up or do this....I could have taken the train" Ian sighed. He knew he was digging a hole but he figured he was past the returning point. He didn't want to make Mickey upset but it seemed like that is all he was doing. "Thank you though really. I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you"

He was giving up on the idea this was going to be a good time.  
"I don't do anything I don't want to do alright. Please quit fucking apologizing, swear if I hear sorry out of your fuckin mouth one more time"  
Fuck every time he tries to be nice he fucks it up, maybe he should just be quiet. Awkward silence was better than this trainwreck. Fuck. He took a deep breath trying to calm down. "Yea whatever kid. No problem" he grabbed his beer and took a long gulp.

Ian sat there quietly. He didn't know what to say. All he could think of was to apologize he didn't really know anything else anymore. He didn't want to keep making Mickey upset so he tried to think of something. "So um...what kind of music do you like?" ugh so lame but he really didn't know how to make small talk with Mickey. He only opened up once in a while and usually those topics were sensative, not just something he wanted to randomly bring up. Music was safe, everyone listened to music right?

"Music" he sipped his beer "I listen to a lot of rock Slipknot, Korn, Disturbed. Really any hard shit. What about you Red?"

Ian couldn't help but smile knowing they had the same taste in music. Maybe this lunch wouldn't be so bad. "Wow really? Me too I....I like all of those bands.” He took a sip of his soda and twirled the straw with his finger. “Do you like System?"

The waitress came and brought them both their pizza. It smelled amazing and he was fucking starved. "System yea of course they're my favorite band" He grabbed the pizza and took a big bite not thinking "God fucking dammit" he dropped the pizza "Shit is fuckin hot"

"Duh Mick she just brought it out silly" Ian laughed before blowing on his pizza and taking a bite. “That's crazy System is one of my favorite bands too. I would love to see them in concert some day"

Mickey tried to hold back his laugh unsuccessfully. Something about when Ian laughed was contagious. "Fucking silly really?" he raised his eyebrow. "Yea that would be cool but I rather see Korn live. I love System but I've seen them enough times" this time he blew on his pizza before taking a bite.

"I've seen Korn before, it was pretty fucking great. Lip scored some tickets off some kid at school when he did a paper for him" he took a sip of his soda and stared at Mickey. Things were going good and he didn't want to fuck it up. “Can I ask you a question?”  
“You just did” Mickey replied with a sarcastic grin.  
He laughed “No I mean..I was just wondering how come you're not a work? I'm sorry..that's not what I mean..I'm not saying this isn't nice it is I just I mean...”

“Easy kid, relax” Mickey smiled putting his hand up to silence the redhead. Ian was honestly so adorable when he was flustered. “I make my own schedule now thanks to you. Don't gotta worry about the owner breathing down on my neck when I got an ace in my pocket. You know what I mean?”

It took a few moments for Mickey's words to sink in but when they did they hit hard. He was talking about Kash. Of course Mickey could do whatever he wanted. Kash would never fire him, he knew too much.  
“Oh..that. Sure” he mumbled ugh this was weird too weird. He needed to change the subject anything was better than thinking about that day and what came to follow.  
"so..do you ever plan on telling people you know" he lowered his voice "you know that you're gay?" He knew it was stupid the moment he spoke. Why did he chose that? Anything was better than that but of course it just came out and now he had to sit and wait. 

"Fuck kid" Mickey pinched the bridge of his nose "We were having a nice conversation. Why the fuck do you gotta ruin it huh? You trying to fucking piss me off?" He rubbed his knuckle against his nose. This kid is really trying his patience. Every time he thought they would have a good time he had to fucking say something stupid. Mandy says he uses the word to often but did he really? He's lucky they are in public. He lowered his voice and leaned in staring into Ian's eyes. "Are you fuckin stupid, of course I'm never coming out. You may be ok with being and out and proud waiving your flag fag but that will never be me. Among other things my dad would fucking kill me. Then where would you be? You need me. I own you. Without me you're nothing" Mickey leaned away and took a long gulp from his beer.

Yup..he had lost his appetite. The thought of sneaking around for the rest of his life made him nauseous. He was already having a hard time accepting this as his future but the fact it would always be a secret was too much to process. He pushed his plate away and took a long sip of his Dr. Pepper, before looking up at Mickey. "Can we go please." he said softly "I don't feel good." he took another long sip of his soda and sank back into the booth.

"You barely touched your pizza Red. You should fuckin eat somethin."  
Mickey knew why Ian wanted to leave but like hell he was gonna apologize. The kid shouldn't ask stupid fucking questions. "If you're not gonna eat we can get you a box to take it back home"

 

Ian sat up and folded his hands on the table "Thanks. So you're gonna take me home then?"

What? Did he say that?  
Mickey scoffed "What made you fuckin think that? No you're coming home with me. What you tired of me already?"

"I never said that" he huffed crossing his arms. He looked up at Mickey who was practiclly staring right through him. He thought back to the other night. He found himself doing that a lot actually even though it was painful. It shouldn't be..he knew what this was but somehow that didn't matter to his heart. Even now he found himself wanting to see that look in Mickeys eyes again. The look that made him feel like more than a piece of property..the way he felt now. "I'm sorry" he sighed and reached out to touch Mickey's arm but caught himself, running his hand over the table instead. "Let's get a box and go to work"

"Jesus christ again with the sorry. You know eventually that fuckin word is gonna lose all meaning. I just have to pay the bill and we'll head out. We are gonna stop by your place but you aint stayin. Gotta get clothes for the week right, make sure people don't freak the fuck out?”

"What? The week? I don't think Fi will be ok with that. I really should just go home tonight”

"Whatever kid not like your family pays that much attention to you anyways. You should be happy that I give you as much attention as I fuckin do. So yea the fuckin week I already told you that last night"

“Oh yea I forgot sorry. Lets go then” he sighed and stood up from table. He grabbed his food and walked staright for the door not waiting for Mickey. He knew he would be following him.

*******************************************************************************************************

 

"I'm just gonna run inside and grab my stuff ok. You just wanna stay here?" he said as they pulled up to his house.

"No I don't wanna just stay here. What you don't want me to fucking come inside with you?"

"No thats not..i'm sorry. You can come inside" He wasn't expecting him to want to come inside. Why would he? Not like he was really friends with his family.

He turned off the car and opened the door. "Well stop wasting time and let's fuckin go then. Just tell em you're staying with Mandy for the week. Grab your shit and we'll go. Don't try anything stupid like trying to hang out cause we need to get back to the store"  
He glanced at his phone. It was already 3:45pm. It didn't really matter but the store had been closed all day and he was the Manager after all. He needed to do his job at least a little. He hated when he fell behind on shit.

 

Ian walked inside Mickey following behind. Lip was sitting at the table "Hey man. What are you guys doin here? Shouldn't you be at work?" his brother looked at him curiously.  
"Uh yea. Im gonna crash at Mandy's for a few days maybe a week. Mickey brought me to get some clothes real fast cause he has a car and it beats the train"

"Yea ok. Go get your stuff then"  
He glances over at Mickey and can sense his discomfort. Serves him right. He should have just waited in the car but no he wanted to come inside so now he could fucking wait. He ran upstairs leaving Mickey with his brother.

 

Mickey leaned against the table and pulled out his phone. He just wanted Ian to grabs his shit quckly so they could go. He was hoping Fiona would be here. They weren't really friends but she was nice. Probably the closest thing he had to a real friend. Instead Ian's douchebag brother was here and he kept staring at him. He kept his eyes glued to the phone pretending he couldn't feel the eyes lingering on him.  
"So is Mandy ok?"  
He looked up from his phone over to the table.  
"Yea she just wanted some extra company. Sometimes we can bug the shit out of each other. She likes Ian so ya know"  
"I get it. I got 5 siblings. You and Ian friends?" Lip replied.  
"Uh not really just work with the kid. We get along enough"  
"Oh ok. I just thought you know you guys were friends since you know your always here"  
Really? This fuckin guy was close to getting punched in the face. He could hear Ian at the top of the stairs so he took a deep breath not wanting to cause a scene.  
"Sure he's a good fuckin kid but I'm only his boss. I'm around cause Mandy is. Why you so fucking interested Philip?"  
"Well I don't see Mandy here hardly. Just thought you would have better things to do than hang out with a kid all day"  
He was about to say something when Ian appeared at the bottom of the stairs.  
"Alright I have everything I need. Make sure to tell Fiona yea?"  
"Yea whatever have fun and Mickey tell Mandy I said Hi. I might call her" Lip replied.  
He could tell the asshole was just fucking with him so he rolled his eyes.  
"Sure whatever I'll tell her. Let's go Red we got shit to do"  
"Yea ok. Bye" Ian waving as they walked out the door.

**************************************************************************

Mickey watched as the clock finally reached 10pm. Fuck today had been unusually long. Somehow the knowledge the Ian would be coming upstairs with him at the end of the night made it almost impossible to concentrate on anything other than him. Ian was quiet as he floated around the store doing inventory and re stocking the shelf. He found himself entranced by the smallest things. The way he sighed when something was out of place or the way he got frustrated when he lost his count. The kid was perfect. All he wanted to do was spend all his time with him. It started as sex but now he was done being in denial. He wanted Ian to be his. He wanted to have him around to joke with and to wake up next too. He still knew the feelings were one sided but he didn't care to hide them anymore. Maybe if he was more open about how he felt Ian could actually like him...maybe but probably not. Whatever he would take what he could get. He stood up and locked the door and turned to the redhead who was sweeping the floor. "We're done here Red. Grab your stuff and lets go upstairs"

Ian said nothing as he finished sweeping the floor. He put the broom back and walked over to the counter to grab his backpack.  
"Hurry up man" Mickey said as he watched him closely. They walked upstairs and Mickey unlocked the door allowing him to go first so he could lock it behind him. He sat down on the couch with his bag between his legs saying nothing. He hated being here. He just wanted to go home.  
"Yo you wanna rent a movie? I can grab us popcorn from downstairs" Mickey said walking over to the couch.

Did he want to rent a movie? He liked movies of course but he didn't feel like doing anything with Mickey. He was stuck and the guy was acting like everything was normal. He wished he was at home with his family watching tv or doing anything other than being here. He didn't want to piss off Mickey though so he needed to think of something to do "Thanks Mickey but I actually have a lot of math homework I need to do" he opened up his bag grabbing out his book, paper, and shitty calculator.

"What?" why the fuck was he doing homework on a Friday? He had the whole fuckin weekend. Homework was fucking boring. "Don't worry about that shit now. Lets play a video game." he said walking over to his shelf and looking through the titles. "I have more than just COD you know. We could play Grand Theft or Halo" he replied pulling out a game and waving it at the boy

He looked up at Mickey and wondered if he should just give in. He wasn't sure how the guy would react if he kept rejecting his plans. Tonight though he was willing to play with fire "I really just want to get this done. Can't we play video games another night?" He looked down flipping through the pages of his book not waiting for Mickey's response.

"Are you fuckin serious right now? Who does homework on a fuckin friday, it's fuckin stupid. The hell is wrong with you?" he sighed. He didnt want to admit that he was hurt by the rejection. Obviously the kid would rather do his fuckin homework than spend time with him. Again this is what he gets for trying to be nice. Why did he even try? Oh yea because he was stupid and thought maybe if he tried hard enough it would make a difference. Fucking bullshit. That ship had fuckin sailed he could give the kid the sun and moon and he would still fuckin hate him. Fucking asshole.

A nagging part of him wanted to please Mickey. It told him to put all his stuff away and do what he wanted to make him happy. The part though that he was trying to hold on to said to ignore that part and ignore Mickey. So he was going to try and do that. Didn't seem like he was going to be punished. After all it's homework and Mickey wanted him in school. "I'm sorry I'm just trying to do well in school like you said"

“What the fuck ever man” he replied. He rubbed his forehead in defeat and decided to go lay in his room. It wasn't worth the effort to argue, kid had a fuckin point. He still thought it was stupid but clearly Ian wanted nothing to do with him he would rather fuck with homework. Fucking asshole. He wanted to tell him he had to spend time with him but that would defeat the point right? Fuck. Whatever. He glared at Ian for a moment then turned to walk down the hallway.

***************************************************************************************************  
He grabbed his phone from the nightstand. It was almost fucking midnight. He tried to take a nap but it was too weird knowing Ian was still awke in the living room. How long did it take to do fuckin homework anyway? It had been almost 2 hours. He was sure the kid was just trying to avoid him. Well fuck that. He got up and opened the door walking down the hallway into the kitchen. He glanced over at the couch and saw Ian with his hands folded on his head. Weird. How the fuck was he still doin that shit? Whatever. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and popped the tab. He decided to drink his beer then he would tell the kid it was time for bed. He leaned against the counter and stared at the couch.

None of this makes any sense. It's all a jumbled mess of numbers and words. "This doesn't...ugh" he erased another wrong answer. He got 328 and the answer was 49. Really! "What the hell" he punched it into his calculator and came up with 132. He slammed his calculator down "stupid" he huffed running his hands through his hair

The fuck? What was this kid doin? He was all over the place. He walked over to the couch and took a sip of his beer. "You fuckin done yet man its almost midnight? Time for bed"

Done? No not even close. He looked at Mickey and tried to hold in his attitude. "No this isn't making any sense. Just go to bed without me. I'll be here forever" he pouted. Fuck he hated math. Another add on to his crappy weekend.

"Yea not gonna happen Red" he replied and walked around the couch to where Ian was sitting. "The fuck is takin you so long? What are you doing anyway? Let me see" he said holding his hand out.

"No it's fine I can do it" he didn't need or want his help. He wanted him to go to bed and let him suffer in peace.

It was too late for attitude. He just wanted to go to bed. It had been a long day and he was amazed he was able to refrain from picking up Ian and carrying him to bed because he was horny as fuck. He didnt want it to be like that though. Not anymore if he could help it. Ugh fuck. He looked over at the kid who was clearly in over his head. "I didn't fuckin ask you did I Gallagher? No. I said give it now"

"Here" he shoved his book a little too roughly at Mickey. He crossed his arms against his chest and looked away. "Good luck"

“Yea you better check yourself kid.” he replied before glancing at the book. "This is what your bitchin about? Come on Ian it's basic algebra. Watch" he sat down next to him and grabbing his pencil.  
"Ok. PEMDAS kid it's easy. You just mutiply these numbers right here in the parenthesis then divide this from here, you add that" he moved the pencil fast as the math came to his brain. “Then subtract and boom done. Told you easy." He smiled smugly and handed the book and pen to Ian. Do the next one"

That did not look easy. He understood the PEMDAS stuff but it didn't work right for him. He started the next problem mumbling through it "divide by 21...multiply the 6...subtract the." He put it all into the calculator "The answer is 87" he looked at the book and grimaced. "Ugh"

No.... really? "Pay attention you're doing it all wrong” he leaned over and grabbed the pencil from Ian while leaving the book in his lap. He pointed with the eraser " Why are you dividing before you multiply? I told you multiply then divide, that's why you got the wrong answer. Maybe if you didn't miss so much fuckin school this shit would make sense to you. Do it again” he said tossing the pencil down and looking at Ian expectantly

Mickey was not being helpful. In fact he was only stressing him out more. "Ok. Multiply by 16...divide by 5...carry the 7" he punched all the numbers into his calculator hoping for a right answer. "The answer is 29" he looked at his book. Wrong again what the hell! He did the stupid order right. He looked at Mickey awaiting his reaction "I got it wrong"

“Jesus Gallagher. Are you really that stupid? Look" he snatched the pencil from his hand “multiply by 16 got it” he looked over at him and the boy nodded. “Good fuckin A. OK now divide by 5. You still with me?” Ian said nothing but he could tell he was paying attention. “Now just add this here” he circled the part of the eqaution and subtract this number.. that's fuckin it. It's not rocket scienceman. There's one more left do it right this time” he replied and held the pencil out.

God he made it look so simple. Alright he began his final problem this time keeping quiet. Multiply 17 divide by 8 add 90 subtract 32 all over 18. The answer is 46. Please let this be right. He looked at his book and "Yes! I did it! It's right" he looked up at Mickey with a big grin on his face.

“Good boy Gallagher” he says trying to hide that he was proud of the grinning redhead/ He stood up from the couch stretching his arms above his head. “Fuckin too you long enough man. If you would have just listened the first time we could be sleeping right now” he yawns. “Come on kid. Time for bed. I don't care if you have more shit you can do it tomorrow”

"Wait" he grabbed Mickey and went for his belt. He didn't know why but he had this overwhelming urge to please him. Thank him for helping him. He unbuttoned his jeans pulling them and his boxers down at once letting his dick free. He took it in his hand and began to stroke it looking into Mickey's eyes. 

"That feels good Red. That's real good" he sighed tilting his head back as he fell deep into the feeling of Ian's hand around him. He wanted to pick him up and fuck him but the kid started this so he wanted to see where it went.

He soaked in the praise Mickey was giving him. He needed more. Needed to drown out all the times he called him stupid. He leaned forward and gave the head an open mouth kiss pressing his tongue against the slit. He heard the man groan above him. He smiled then took him into his mouth bobbing his head up and down along his dick. He was going slow taking him in as far as he could, swirling his tongue at the tip.

“Fuck” he moaned as Ian's warm mouth engulfed him. “Good boy..so fuckin good for me” he mumbled reaching down to run his fingers through the boy's hair. His mouth felt so good, so warm and wet around him. He loved it when Ian intiated things. He had started doing it more but then it seemed like he shut down. This though..he looked down to see the boys lips moving over his dick as his eyes stared up at him. This was fucking perfect just like Ian. He was sexy and cute and “Fucking perfect” he sighed loudly the sleep getting the best of him as he moved his hand down to the boys face, running his thumb over his cheek.

He groaned, good boy was demeaning most of the time but sometimes it was the opposite. Sometimes it turned him on. He started bobbing his head faster and used his hand to stroke what wouldn't fit in his mouth. He wanted to be good for Mickey. He didn't know why but he did. He stopped to give him a flat tongue swipe from base to tip before he resumed pleasuring him. He bobbed his head and hollowed his cheeks. His cock was straining in his jeans. He reached down and palmed it trying to relieve some of the pressure.

He looked down and saw Ian massaging his hard on under his jeans. "Mm yea..that's fuckin sexy. You hard for me Gallagher?" he said coyly moving his hand back up to play with Ian's hair as he took him in deeper. "Good. So fuckin good. Touch yourself " he moaned as he felt himself getting close.

He didn't waste any time before unzipping his pants and pulling out his dick. He began pumping it at the same rhythm he devoured Mickey. He let out a loud moan. He could taste the saltiness of Mickey's precum on his tongue. He deep throated him as often as he could holding back his gag reflex. He hoped Mickey was close cause he knew he definitely was. He didn't mind sucking his cock but he wanted to see him cum.

"I'm gonna cum" he moaned as he began to slowly fuck the boys mouth, he was already taking him in so good it didn't make much of a difference. He could feel his dick touching the back of his throat and he knew he wasn't gonna make it. "Ah fuck Ian your mouth..fuck" he groaned and came in hot spurts down the boys throat grasping his hair tightly and he pumped into his mouth chasing his orgasm.

Mickey groan went straight to his dick. He swallowed everything he gave him. He has gotten use to the guy's unique taste. He pumped his dick one last time before cumming in his hand with a moan. He wiped his hand off on his pants and pulled off Mickey's cock with a small pop. His mouth had spit and cum all over it so he used the back of his hand to wipe it off. He sat there on his knees, dick out with a smirk on his face waiting for Mickey's direction.

He looked down at Ian. The boy was staring up at him with blown out eyes and a flushed face. His pink lips still glistening with his cum. Fuck he looked so sexy. "C'mere" he said softly leaning down and hooking his arms under Ian bringing him to his feet and locking their lips together. He could taste the the saltiness of his cum in the boys mouth and it made his sink deeper into the kiss. He moved his hand under the boys ass and lifted him up from the ground. Ian wrapped his legs around him and he carried him back to the bedroom. He was really tired and he could tell Ian was too. Right now all he wanted was to lay down next him and go to sleep.


	24. Edge of 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Ian's birthday but Mickey doesn't know. The two spend some time together and Mickey Finally comes to terms with his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost there guys. Can't wait!! Thank you all for the wonderful comments and kudos. It makes my day when I see your interactions. As always thanks you to my lovely beta and #bestie Jessica92.

_He heard a noise downtairs and jumped out of bed. Who the fuck was here? He always remebered to lock the doors. It could be Kash, maybe he was making another surprise visit. He looked down at Ian still fast asleep, his red hair sticking to the side of his face. He really enjoyed waking up next to him. It was weird yet perfect at the same time. He'd woken up nest to Ian for 3 days now and he was starting to dread when that changed. He heard glass shatter downstairs and quickly walked over to the lock box on his dresser. He entered his code and grabbed his gun and his keys. Amazingly Ian wasn't awoken but the commotion. Should he wake him? No. He could handle whoever was down there, he was Mickey fuckin Milkovich. He shut the door quietly and contimplated locking it. Not to keep Ian in but to keep people out. Fuck it, it wasn't going to be a problem unlike Ian waking up to a locked door. That shit would ruin everything he was trying to do to make him feel comfortable._

 

_He took a deep breath and unlocked the front door stepping out and locking it behind him. He aimed his gun forward as he walked down the stairs. He slowly approached the last stair and felt his heartsink. There barely standing and drunk was his dad. He quickly set his gun down on the storage shelf and walked over to him._

“ _The fuck are you doin dad?” he said going to grab the broom to sweep up the broken glass._

“ _Thought you had some hard time, they let you out already?”_

_His father stared at him, his eyes were dark and filled with hatred._

“ _Fucking faggot” he yelled and ran towards him but tripped over his own feet falling to the ground._

“ _Whoa easy. The fuck you talking about?” he yelled at his dad, his heart was ready to beat out of his chest._

_Terry stood up from the ground and walked over to him backing him against the corner._

“ _I know what you're doing Mickey. You fuckin pole smokin queer! You're no son of mine fucking tweeker” he yelled and punched him in the face hard._

“ _I dont..I” he stammered as his dad glowered at him, the taste of blood lingering in his mouth._

“ _Don't lie to me boy. I know all about you're little pet you sick fuck.” his dad yelled and punched him hard in the stomach. He felt all the air leaves his lungs as he fell to his knees._

“ _Dad please let me..” he received a kick to the face and his world began to spin as the pain consumed his body._

“ _Couldn't get pussy huh? No surprise. You always were lousy at everything. I'm surprised you were able to do anything really but we both know how you did it don't we? Yea your so pathetic had to go be a fuckin perve and go after a kid huh? Looks like your more like your old man than you thought”_

_He feels the throbing in his head as he spits blood from his mouth. He goes to sit up when his father kicks him in the stomach over and over again until he can't move._

“ _Please” he says barely above a whipser his mouth filled with the taste or iron._

“ _Is your little pet here? I bet he is. Bet you have him caged up nice and good don't you.”_

 

_Fuck!! Ian._

 

“ _Don't..” he stammered unable to move from the position on the floor._

_It would be ok because he locked the door. It would be ok. Just then his dad knelt down next to him and removed his keys from his wrist._

“ _Maybe I should show the kid a good time huh son? Maybe I take him out back after and show him what we do to fags in the South Side” Terry laughed and stood up from the ground._

“ _No..don't fucking touch him” he yelled and tried to get up from the floor. He couldn't move. His father was dissapring up the stairs but he couldn't get up..why couldn't he get up? What the fuck, he'd been beat worse before, this was nothing._

“ _No” he shouted . “Get up! Get up! Get up!” he yelled trying to move from the floor but the more he struggled the more the floor the felt like quicksand and he was sinking._

“ _Get up” he shouted as the room slowly faded to black and he felt something over his hands._

“ _No..dont” he yelled breaking free._

 

He opened his eyes to find himself drenched in sweat. His hands were tangled in the covers, his body shaking mercilessly. He looked over quickly to see Ian snuggled against his pillow.

He felt the tears threaten his eyes and wiped them away.

“Fuck” he sighed taking a deep breath. FUCK that dream was so real, so vivid, he could still taste the blood in his mouth. The thought of Terry hurting Ian had scared him more than anything else in his life.

He looked over and carefully ran his hand through Ian's hair as not to wake him. His heart was still beating fast as he stood up from the bed. He grabbed his smoke from his nightstand and walked over to his dresser to get his keys. Once he had his stuff and he was dressed he looked over one more time wantingly at the sleeping redhead before shutting the door.

 

He needed to leave, to be outside. He felt suddenly claustrophic as he walked into his living room. He grabbed his phone and looked at the time. It was only 7am. He wondered if his sister would be up yet...probably not. Who cares. He needed to smoke some fuckin weed and he's rather not wake Ian up yet. He made up his mind and decided to drop in on Mandy. She would be upset at first but he knew his sister couldn't turn down a wake an bake. He grabbed his jacket and slipped his phone in his pocket unlokcing the door. He locked it behind him and started down the stairs. He couldn't help the queezy feeling building up the pit of his stomach as he came to the last step. It was just a dream..snap out of it. He rolled his shoulders back and cracked his knuckles forcing himself to get it together. He walked across the dark room casually glancing through the aisels. Fuckin creepy shit. He walked out the door locking it behind him and headed over to his sisters house.

 

 

He pulled up in front of his house and quickly got out of the car making his way up the front stairs. He went to opent the door but of course it was locked. He pounded heavily on the door with his fist.

“Ay Mandy! Let me in” he shouted pressing his face against the door. No answer. God damn it. He knocked harder.

“Hello!” again no response. Bitch had to be here it was a Sunday. Not like he knew if she was seeing anybody but he was almost certain she wasn't. He pulled his phone from his jacket pocket and pulled up her number. The phone just rang and rang until finally he was greeted by his sister.

“What the hell do you want? It's 7:15am!!”

He laughed at the sleepiness in his sisters voice.

“Open the fuckin door and smoke this joint with me”

“Seriously you woke me up to smoke a joint?” his sister moaned in annoyence.

“Bitch open the door and quit whining. I brought my good shit so hurry the fuck up”

“You're an asshole”

“And?”

“Whatever fine” she replied and hung up the phone.

He waited a few minutes before being greeted by a very tired , very irritable looking Mandy Milkovich.

“have I told you I hate you?” she said with a yawn and plopped down on the couch, laying her head in the corner.

“pretty sure you have. Smoke this shit with me and see if that changes” he says tossing a fat jont over to his sister and a lighter.

She lights it up and takes a drag leaning back into the couch.

“Why are you even up right now? I know you didn't get to sleep until late because of work” she replied then burst out in a coughing fit.

“fuck” she coughed hitting her chest with her fist. “This is good shit”

“I know” he smirked and grabbed the joint from his sisters fingers.

He stretched back in to the couch and took a long drag, blowing the smoke from his nose. He was used to good shit, Mandy not so much. He shared occasionally but it was rare. This morning however he knew they would would need to be pretty fuckin stoned to talk about his dream.

“I had dream this mornin” he replies taking another puff and passing it back to his sister.

She looked unphased by his admission “call the press Mickey had a dream. We all dream”

He suddenly felt small as he sunk back into the couch next to his sister. He let his feet rest on the table and stared at the ceiling.

“Yea I know. It was about dad though” he said softly.

His sister looked over at him, her eyes suddenly filled with concern rathr than sarcasm.

“Really? You ok?” she replied and scooted closer to him.

He rubbed his forehead before letting his arm fall heavily back down.

“Not really man it was pretty fucked up”

“What happened?”

He took a deep breath turning his head slightly to look at his sister. He plucked the joint from her mouth then turned his focus back to the ceiling. He inhaled deeply, letting the high wash over him before he blew out the smoke.

“Usual. He talked some shit and kicked my ass” he hated admitting that. Only his family mainly his sister knew the truth. Sure he had won some with his dad but most the time he was on the loosing end. That was one of the main reasons Linda offered him the apartment when he turned 19. He really only ever came home to take care of Mandy. Terry started staying at the brothel so he was rarely home. When he was though Mickey out his pride aside to protect his sister.

He took another puff and handed the joint back to his sister, slowly letting the smoke drift from his open mouth his gaze still glued to the ceiling.

“He knew about Ian. He knew _everything_. Said he was gonna show him a good time then take him out back and fuck him up”

“Jesus Mickey. That sounds fuckin intense. You know dads not getting out right?”

“He got busted with drugs Mandy, he didn't fucking kill anyone”

“He did”

He looked over at his sister in disbelief.

“The fuck are you going on about?”

“I just found out from Iggy. He said Dad got in a fight and ended up beating someone unconscious. Guy died from a brain bleed or something. Either way they are chargin him.” she touched his shoulder lightly.

“he's gone Mick. He's finally fuckin gone”

He wasn't sure if it was the weed or the words coming from his sisters mouth but for a brief moment he felt a sence of freedom wash over him. The thought that he would never have to see that piece of shit again, never have to take another punch or bitchslap because Terry was drunk and wanted to fuck with his sister.

“Fuck” he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Tell me about it. It feels unreal”

Suddenly he wanted Ian. He wanted to tell him, to share his happiness. That was happening more and more. He would think about him all the time, want to share with him, hold him. Ugh. He sounded like a bitch. Whatever. He wanted what he wanted. That didn't make him a bitch did it? Was it wrong to maybe want a relationship? He'd never considered where they were going. With the threat of his dad coming out was never an option. Now..maybe. His sister had barely flinched at him being gay it was his relationship with Ian that caused her to loose respect...Fuck. He had cotton mouth like a bitch. He sat up and looked at his sister. She had a glow about her as she sat next to him playing with her hair. It was the first time she truly looked happy. Sure shopping made her smile but the look she had now about talking about their dad was priceless.

“Looks like you got some decorating to do” he said standing up from the couch.

“What?”

“That assholes never coming back. I say take over the place, shit i'm already payin for it so do whatever the fuck you want. It yours now”

He thought her face couldn't get any brighter but he was wrong. He watched as her head swiveled from one side of the room to the other and he could see the possibilties in her eyes.

He walked over to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. He wanted a beer but he was already pretty high and he planned on leaving soon. He leaned against the sink and let the cool water refresh his throat. He looked over to the coffe table and saw a white and yellow gift bag with a silver bow.

He walked over and turned the bag around looking for a tag but no such luck.

“Yo”he called out “the fuck is this for?”

“What are you talking about?” his sister said not bothering to turn around.

Serioulsy? He grabbed the bag and walked in front of her.

“This? What is it?”

She looked at him with confusion. “It's a present”

He pinched his nose and shook his head “I fuckin know that. Who's it for?”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes I'm fuckin serious. Why the fuck else would I be askin?” he replied setting the gift bag down on the table.

“It's for Ian...you know his birthday?”

His eyes widened at her words. Birthday? What the fuck? Why didn't he know that?

“When's his fuckin birthday?' he replied with irritation.

Mandy scoffed and rolled her eyes. “I can't believe you. It's today Mickey. How do you not know that?”

“What the fuck” he sighs and sits down on the couch. “Today for real? You're not fuckin with me?”

“Yea dude today. Aren't you suppose to be his boyfriend or whatever? How did you not know you've been together for like a year?”

He rubbed his eyes with his fingers and sat up.

“Whatever I know now. I'll figure somethin out”

“You better. You're already a dick, don't make it fucking worse”

He promptly gave his his sister the middle finger and stood up from the couch.

“I'll take him to breakfast.” he says grabbing his smokes and phone from the table and shoving them in his pocket.

“Yea that's a good start”

“start?”

Mandy stood up and walked over to him pushing him out the door.

“Yea Mick. It's a good start. I know you can do better.”

“Wha..” that was all he managed to get out before the door was shut in his face.

Stupid bitch he laughed to himself as he walked down the stairs. Good fuckin thing he had that fucked up dream or he would have never known. Of course Mandy expected him to know..what the fuck. Why wouldn't Ian tell him? It's not like it was something he would get mad over, like it was his birthday. Why would he tel him though? He couldn't help think sinking feeling in his chest as he got back in his car. Whatever if Ian didn't want to tell him then it would be a suprise. He would take him out and they could spend the day together that would be nice. Ian said he didn't do nice things. He could...he could try at least.

 

***********************************************************************

 

He unlocked the door and walked in to see Ian curled into a ball on the couch watching Tv.

“You're awake”

“Yep” he replied shortly.

He rubbed his nose anxiously and walked over to the couch. “What you watchin”

“Today show”

“The fuck? Why? That sounds boring as shit” he replied and walked into the kicthen. He still had such bad cotton mouth. He turned on the faucet and stuck his mouth under letting the water fill it up.

“nothing else to do.” Ian replied and turned to look at him. “You don't have any food here, I wanted to get a snack but you know” he glanced over to the door then stared back at him.

Mickey averted his eyes for a moment glancing down at the floor. He met Ian's gaze once more. “Yea I do know. Go get dressed we'll go get something”

Ian sighed and sank back down into the couch.

“You hear me Red? I said go get dressed. I'm hungry too”

“It's ok Mickey really. You don't have to do that. I just wanna watch Tv now” the boy replied

He felt his temper rising. He was trying....god he was trying to keep himself calm. He wanted Ian to have a good time but he knew he wouldn't fuckin move unless he was motivated he was making that clear.

He walked over to the couch and snatched the remote from Ian's hands turning off the TV.

“I told you to get dressed didn't I?” he looks down at Ian with a raised brow.

“I know. I'm sorry” Ian replied sitting up from the couch.

“Don't apologize just get your ass dressed so we can go. Could have left by now” he says tossing the remote on the table.

“Ok” Ian replies getting up from the couch and walking slowly to the bedroom.

“Today Gallagher” he calls out causing the boys to walk faster and shut the bedroom door.

 

10 Minutes later Ian appears fully dressed in a powder blue t-shirt with a matching flannel that had gold and white stripes. He was wearing tight black jeans with brown belt.

“Damn you look sexy” Mickey sighed as he leans against the counter, staring at the beauty that is Ian Gallagher.

Ian looks up at him in surprise. “What did you say?”

Fuck did he say that out loud? He was higher than he thought, stupid weed. He cleared his throat and walked over to the door.

“I said hurry the fuck up i'm hungry”

Ian looks at him curiously “Um ok. I'm ready so let's go then”

He unlocks the door and they head downstairs.

 

*****************************************************************************

The drive was quiet. He had hoped once they reached the restraunt the kid would be willing to have a conversation but no. He sat there quietly playing with the frayed edge of the menu. He was trying to be nice, he wanted Ian to have a good day especially because it was his birthday. He might as well let the kid know he knew, maybe he was sulking because he thought he forgot, or thought he wouldn't care.

“You know what you want man?” he took a sip of his black coffee and raised his brow looking over at the redhead.

Ian looked up at him for a moment then his eyes glanced by down to the plastic menu.

“I'm not sure there are so many options.” Ian relpied turning the menu over

“Well get whatever you want. It's you're birthday after all” he replied with a smile.

Ian looked up quickly and sat his menu on the table “How did you know that?”

This guy really? “How could I not know? Why didn't you say anything?”

“I didn't think you'd care” Ian protested.

“You say the stupidist shit sometimes Red you know that?”

How could the kid still not know that he cared? Sure he was still and asshole, he still wasn't the best person by far but he was going out of his way to be nicer. He was trying to visit to get to know Ian. He wanted to be with him. How could he still not see that? The bigger question was why was he still surprised? He knew how Ian felt from day one he just never cared. The thought that he would ever return the feeling was a moot point.

“I'm sorry” Ian said softly and went back to figiting with his menu clearly uncomfortable.

Fuck this was not how he wanted this day to go. This was the exact opposite of a nice birthday breakfast. Fuck it, what was the worst that could happen if he said how he felt? Mandy was right it had been a year. Not like he was going to proclaim his undying love for the kid but it wouldn't hurt to give him something to work with right?

He rubbed his head nervously and took another sip of his coffee.

“I do alright”

Ian looked up at him “What?”

Really? He wanted to tell the kid to pay the fuck attention but he didn't instead he found himself explaining his words.

“Care. I fucking care OK. You're mine and I care about you”

Oh god he was ready to jump out of his skin as the words escaped his lips. What was gonna happen now? This was not part of his plan. Why did he just randomly decide to tell the kid how he felt. He wasn't a bitch. He didn't need to talk about feelings.

It felt like an eternity before the boy replied when really it was only a few seconds.

“You do?”

“Yea man” he sighed and reached his hand around to the back of his neck nervously.

“Oh. Ok then”

OK then? The fuck was OK then? Did that mean ok and he doesn't care or Ok and it was cool he cared...? Fuck..He shouldn't have said anything. He felt himself sink back into the booth and began to stare at his coffee feeling like a fool.

“Wow man they have pancakes here that are like cinnomon rolls. Did you see those?” Ian says suddenly and reaches across to flip the page on his menu opinting at a picture with his slender finger.

“That's what i'm getting Mick, looks fuckin delicious. What are you getting?” he says with a smile.

He looks up at Ian's big green eyes and still sees he is uncomfortable still but the fact he was trying was nice. He wished he didn't have to try. He wished he would just like him but fuck it right? Ian knew how he felt now despite everything so there really was not much else to do but keep pretending because he was not going to let him go.

“Yea that shit looks crazy. Get it man. I think i'm just gonna stick with french toast”

“Didn't you have french toast yesterday?”

Wow. He vaguely remebered telling him about having breakfast yesterday with his sister but he didn't think the kid was paying attention.

“Yea I did but it's my favorite I love it. Can't get tired of something I love” he smiled and looked up at Ian. He was wondering if the kid caught what he was saying. A part of him wished he did the other part just wanted to duct tape his mouth shut so he would stop saying stupid shit. There was just something about seeing Ian smile that just made him melt. Ugh fuck.

They sat there silently until the waitress came to take their order. He ordered for the both of them but stopped the girl as she went to walk away.

“So it's the kids birthday. Don't you guys have some kind of song or dance or stupid shit like that?”

The lady smiled and clapped her hands “Of course” she looked around the room.

“Hey everyone looks like we have a birthday boy over here” she called out pointing at Ian. Just then 4 other servers came to the table.

“What's your name birthday boy?”

Ian sank down in his seat, his face as red as his hair. It was fuckin adorabe. He could tell he was embarassed but honestly he wanted everyone to know it was his special day.

“His name's Ian” He replied with a smirk and stared at the shy boy who was now averting his eyes.

“Alright guys.” the women said. “ _Happy Birthaday too you. Happy Birthday too you. Happy Birthday dear Ian! Happy Birthday too you_ ” they sang in harmony.

Mickey couldn't contain himself, he sat their laughing and shaking his head as they sang their ridiculous song. Finally it was over and they left the table. Ian looked up at him, with a red face and wide eyes.

“What gives Mickey?”

He shurugged his shoulders lightheartedly. “What? Everybody needs to be embarassed on their birthday Gallagher.”

Ian laughed lightly and took a sip of his soda.

“You're an ass you know that” he replied with a smile but it quickly faded as he looked at him. “I didn't mean that. It was nice really i'm ..”

“Don't say it kid. We're having a good time here yea?”

“Yea.” Ian said softly.

“Good. So stop that and relax.”

Ian's posture changed and he sat back in his seat.

Mickey swirled his finger in his coffee then stuck it in his mouth before taking another drink.

“After this I was thinkin we could go to the mall”

“Why?”

“Just figured we could walk around or whatever. Unless you just want to go back to the apartment.”

Ian reached out and touched his hand. “No. I mean that sounds great. I haven't been to the mall in a long time.”

“Alright then. It's a date” he smiled feeling himself fall deeper into his feelings but he didn't care anymore as he sat here staring at the beautiful boy in front of him. Nope. He didn't care at all.

 

**********************************************************************

They parked in the back of the lot, furthest from the entance. They both needed to walk off their rich breakfast so it was no big deal. He opened his glove box and pulled out a joint.

“Gonna smoke then we'll go inside”

“Ok” Ian replied and undid his seatbelt pulling up his legs and turning to face him. Fuck he was so cute sitting there on his knees staring at him. He was perfect. His hair, his eyes, his fuckin freckles....

He lit up the joint and took a long drag, blowing the smoke slowly through his nose. He could feel himself begin to smile as he kept his focus on the redhead.

“What? Did I do something?” Ian replied his eyes darkened and he looked worried all of a sudden.

He didn't like that. “No man. Not at all. You didn't do shit.”

He took another long drag and leaned over capturing Ian's lips in his blowing the smoke into his mouth.

He watched as Ian blew the smoke out and licked his lips.

“why do you like me?” the boys said softly as he began to play with his hands.

“The fuck kind of question is that?” he replied cause really how was he supposed to answer that. He wasn't about to go spilling his feeling, he already said to much as it is.

“I was just wondering why you liked me. I'm always making you mad it doesn't make sense I guess”

He scratched his head nervously because he was already walking a fine line, anything he said could tip the scale in either direction.

“Yea you know how to piss me off not gonna lie.” he replied and Ian turned his body away to look out the window.

Fuck.

“Hey” he said touching the boys shoulder causing to turn around. He passed him the joint “You piss me off but not enough for it to matter. Like it doesn't change anything.”

“What do you mean?”

Oh my god. Nope. Weed or no weed they were not having this conversation. HE said it once , he as not saying it again.

“Why you gotta be askin stupid fuckin questions anyways kid? Come on” he replied grabbing the joint and putting it out in the ashtray.

 

They got out of the car and walked across the parking lot to the mall entrance. When they stepped inside his sences were overpowered by the multiple scents floating in the air. There was a candle and Insece store right as they walked in.

“Fuckin hippies” he scoffed and glanced behind him to make sure the kid was still there. “This way”

They walked past a few little botuiques that reminded him of his sister. They passed a comic book store that seemed to get Ian's attention. The boy stopped and stared at the Batman VS Joker display in the window.

“You like comics?” he said walking up behind him.

“Yea I do. I like Batman”

Mickey laughed. “Really Batman Ian?”

Ian turned to look at him and rolled his eyes. “Not Batman but the Joker. He's my favorite villian”

“Yea? You like the bad guys huh?”

“He's not bad, just misunderstood” the boy replied very unconvincingly. “Fine he's a bad guy but he's fuckin bad ass man”

Nice... See he was learning shit. Now he knew Ian liked comics and he had a thing for the Joker. Now he could get him things he actually like instead of just taking him to eat. He would probably still do that because he enjoyed it but now had other options.

“Looks cool man. Come on, tryin to find a certain store. We gotta walk to the other side”

Ian turned to follow him. “You see a drinking fountain yet? I have some serious cotton mouth” the boy smiled and walked up next to him.

He thought about it. They past one but it was a ways back. He looked ahead and saw an Orange Julius. What the fuck was that? They were drinks but he couldn't tell what exactly.

“I'm thirsty too Red. Lucky for us were right by the food court. You ever had an Orange Julius before?”

Ian looked over at him “Nope”

“I guess we'll try it together then.” he replies and they walk over to the counter.

Turns out it was just a smoothie stand. They had som many options holy fuck. After several changes of mind Ian decided what he wanted. He got a simple strawberry banana smoothie and as for him. He got some tropical shit. Mango, coconut and banana. It was pretty fucking good.

“Fuck man. Shits delicious” he said taking the lid off his cup and pouring the drink down his throat.

“You're gonna get a brain freeze ” Ian laughed taking a small sip of his smoothie.

“Fuck off. I will not get.. fuck!” The kid was right he was suddenly slammed with a throbbing pain. It lasted only moments but damn.

“Told you” Ian smirked at him and took another sip from his drink.

“Yea yea shut up” he laughed and tossed his empty cup into the trashcan as they walked by.

 

They walked around the mall aimlessly for about 20 minutes until he found what he was looking for.

“What are we doing here?” Ian said sticking his hands into his pockets as he followed him inside the store.

He loooked around the store. Every single wall was covered with jackets and sweaters of all colors and design. Ian would have no problem finding something he liked.

“You're getting a new jacket” He replied pinching the thin material of the boys sleeve “This shit is worn out and looks like crap”

Ian lowered his head and lifted his shoulders in a half shrug. “Works for me. It was Lips and he gave it too me”

Mickey understood living on the South Side as much as anyone. There was no shame in hand me downs, but when they started to fall apart then maybe it was time to get something else.

“That's my point. He wore the shit out of it and now it's useless. Plus you never fucking have it with you anyways. Go pick out something you like” he replied and looked at him waiting for another argument.

“Mickey you don't have too”

“I know I don't, just go check it out”

“Honestly Mickey I don't need aything” Ian replied.

He was hoping he wouldn't have to be a dick but somehow Ian managed to push all the right buttons. He leaned forward to whisper in the boys ear.

“I didn't ask you did I? I told you so stop fuckin waistin my time and go look at shit”

“I'm sorry. Lets go” Ian replied he felt the slight touch of fingers against his.

“the fuck man?” he exclaimed surprised at the gesture pulling his hand away.

Ian looked down at the ground then into the store. “I'm sorry.... I'm gonna.. i'm just gonna go” the boy replied and walked into the store dissapering into the aisle.

 

Fuck. He did it again. Things were going great but he had to ruin it with his fuckin self. It was kinda cute Ian tried to hold his hand but he didn't do that shit..not in public. He liked holding his hand at home but kid should no better. Fuck. He took a deep breath and walked down another aisle. He watched as Ian wandered around the store looking at the jackets. The kid moved from the winter jacket over to the hoodies. Should have guessed that would be what he wanted. They had some nice ones so he was stil positive he would find something. He started to look at the sunglasses. He could use a new pair. He tried on a few but none stood out. He looked at the tag on one he would be ok with 80$..jesus christ. Did people really pay that much for this shit. H walked over to a jacket and looked at the price tag 220$. WOW! Good thing he had his card, he knew he wouldn't get out of there for less that 100$ now. That was OK. It was Ians birthday and he deserved something nice. He was doing school and he just desreved it. He deserved the stars but he would settle for a jacket. He looked up and saw Ian looking at a blue and black hoodie. The kid tried it on and looked at himself in the mirror on the wall a small smile forming on his face. It looked really good. Ian took it off then went to find the tag. He watched as the boy quickly put it back on the hanger then moved on to the next aisle. Of fucking course. Why didn't he think of that. Ian was South Side just like him. No way he would feel comfortable with getting a jacket that cost 100$. Well guess what today was his day and he could have whatever he fuckin wanted. He walked over to the boy.

“You find anything?”

Ian shrugged “Not really”

He knew he was lying and grabbed the blue and black hoodie from the rack.

“Saw you try this one on. Looked good..you don't like it”

Ian shook his head “Dude this store is ridiculous. Have you seen the prices?”

“That's not what I asked. You like this one?”

Ian figeted with his hands and rolled his eyes “Yea I do but it's 120$. No way man”

“Ay, if you like it then we're getting it”

“Mickey” he replied softly in protest

“Ian”

“Mickey don't. It's stupid. I wont let you spend that much on a hoodie”

He laughed. Was this kid serious right now?

“Wait” he said putting his hand out “You won't let me Gallagher? Is that really what you just said?”

Ian remained quiet and looked to the ground.

“You don't let me do anything got it. I want to buy it for you” he said and touched his shoulder gently causing the boy to look up.

“is this a birthday present?” ian said with a demure smile.

“fuck off is what is is” he repied but there was no venom in his voice. “We're getting it so shut up. Come on” he folded the jacket over his arm and walked over to the register.

 

*******************************************************************************

 

They left the store and he tossed to bag over to Ian.

“Thanks Mickey” Ian said his face turning up into a smile as he stopped and exchanged his jacket for the new one.

Mickey couldn't help the warm feeling that grew in his stomach when he saw Ian put the jacket on. It was silly but he really enjoyed that he was able to do something nice for the kid. He seemed genuinly happy and that was starting to become addicting. So many things about Ian were, from the way he smiled to the way he surrendered to him. He loved the control but he was beginning to wonder if it was worth it. It didn't really matter, that was part of him long before Ian came around. He was always an asshole as he told his sister. Things with Ian had just amplified it to a place he both loved and hated. He wondered if he would ever be able to take a step back but Ian had ways..ways of getting to him. He didn't want to think about that. He wanted to have a good day with Ian and he was.

“I'm glad you like it kid” he replied.“Let's see what else this place has”

“Ok” Ian said with a smile and walked to his place beside him.

This was nice. He really liked this. Maybe one day it could be real...maybe.

 

They walked around and looked at a couple more shops. They went into an oriental gifts and Ian looked at the wolves display.

“Jesus there's so much detail man. How long do you think it takes to make one?”

“the fuck should I know. Probably awhile” He replied. He was just amazed they made pretty much miniture everything, animals, people fuckin everything.

 

They went inside the game store and he had to stop himself from buying fake dog poop.

“Ew Mandy would totally freak on that” Ian laughed when he showed it to him.

“I know right it's fuckin awesome” he laughed and put it back and they slowly made their way out of the store stopping to look at other random gag gifts.

 

They were approaching the entrance when he saw the comic book store. He thought to himself he was expecting to pay more for the jacket then he did so why not? They started to walk past but he turned and walked inside. Ian followed him “You like comics too?”

“Never really read em” he replies and flips threw a random comic.

Ian walks over to a bin titled DC COMICS and starts looking throught the display. He walks over and stands behind him.

“You want one?”

“Mick..”

“Just pick one. I know you want too”

Ian turned around and smiled at him.

“really?”

He took a step back and leaned against another shelf. “Yea man. Get whatever you want”

Ian's grin grew wider as he flipped through the comic books.

“Nice” he said softly and pulled out one from the row.

“That the one?”

“Definintly” Ian replied.

He grabbed the book from his hands _**The Joker the Clown Prince of Crimes**_ hm? Looks fun” he says and hands the kid the comic.

“That it?”

Ian looked at him in suprise. “Uh yea. This is more than enough Mick thank you”

“Sure thing kid” he replies feeling warm again as they walk over to the register.

 

 

They walk out of the store and he relizes he has to piss. Fuck. Luckily he saw the bathroom.....there two stores down.

“here” he says shoving the book into Ian's hands.

“Gotta take a leak. I'll be right back.”

Ian wanders over to the bench by the entrance. “I'l be here” he replies and sits down flipping open his comic.

“Better be” he smiles then jogs down the hall to the bathroom.

 

****************************************************************************

 

Fuck he didn't think he would make it. He walked out the door and started walking back to the comic store. He was feeling on top of the world. He was ready to smoke more weed and then maybe a movie...yea that would be a great way to end the day. That would show Mandy. Fuck her, he knew how to be a good boyfriend.

He was about to cross to other side when he saw someone standing in front of Ian. The guy looked to be in his 20's ..hmm maybe 19. He had sandy blonde hair and an average build, he had a skateboard tucked under his arm, that didn't matter though. What mattered is he was talking..not he was flirting with Ian.

He watched wide eyed as the two talked back and forth. He could hear Ian laughing at something followed by blondies fucking stupid laugh. He could feel the anger and hurt building in the pit of his stomach completley erasing the warm feeling he had earlier. Was Ian really flirting right now like what the fuck? He had spent the whole day bein fuckin nice! Giving the kid everything he wanted. Isn't that what he wanted? Isn't that what he was supposed to do? Well it wasn't fucking working becase here he was watching some asshole put his number in Ians phone and give it to him. Ian grabed his phone and put in his pocket. The pocket of the jacket he had just bought. The 120$ jacket. He wasn't sure what to do. A part of him wanted to go and kick both their asses the other just wanted to wait for blondie to leave and pretend it never happened. I mean what did he expect really? Fuck he rubbed his eyes with his fingers then glanced back over to where they were standing. His heart sank when Ian reached out and gently touched the guys arm with a smile across his face. Hell no that was not gonna happen. He couldn't stand there any more and watch this. He didn't care where they were or who saw. He was done bein nice and he was done spying like a scared bitch.

The two were still talking when he walked quickly across the floor and over to blondie.

“Aye Gallagher” he said with a devious smirk “Who's your friend?”

Ian looked up at him and he could immediately see the change in his eyes. “He's no one” he replied hastily.

“ Whoa ouch dude. Names Timmy but looks like you won't be needing that. Guess you should probably loose my number too” the blonde turned to look at him “Sorry bro. Didn't know”

“Fuck off” he snapped holding back the urge to deck the guy in the face.

The dude gave him a cocky smile and walked away.

“Mickey I..”

“Shut the fuck up and let's go” he said grabbing Ian by the arm and pulling him up from the bench. He let go of his arm and started walking to the entrace.

“let me explain it's not what you think” Ian said as they walked through the parking lot.

Really explain? What was there to explain? The kid was a fucking asshole. Nothing was different he was a spoiled fuckin brat who flirted with anything that moved. He liked to lead him on just like he did when they first met him. He led him on then and he was doin it now. Fuck that.

“You don't gotta explain shit kid.” he said slamming the door shut as he started the car. He turned to look at Ian who was staring at the ground.

“ It's my fault. I should have known once a whore always a whore” he said darkly.

“I wasn't going to use it. I just didn't want to be rude. I promise I...”

“I said shut up Ian! Don't make me say it again. I don't want to hear anything from you. You're fucking pathetic you know that? You really think someone else would want you? You're a whiny, moody little bitch. Someone would have to be really fucking stupid to ever care about you.”

He sighs and pulls out of the parking lot. He just wasted the entire day trying to make Ian's fucking day special and this is what he gets. All he wanted was to have a nice day with the kid. He was enjoying spoiling him and seeing him smile but of course it wasn't enough. Why wasn't he good enough? What did he need to do? He tried being mean, he tried being nice nothing fucking worked.

He looks over at Ian “Nothing is ever good enough for you is it? I don't fuckin get it”

“I'm sorry Mickey I wasn't....”

“Ian you really need to shut up right now. I'm trying not to loose my shit and you're makin it really fuckin hard everytime you open your mouth.”

It's true. It was taking every ounce of energy not to smack him in the face so he could feel in control again. Right now he was not in control, Ian was. The kid knew how he felt but that didn't seem to matter. He felt worthless now like he would never be good enough. Not only that but now he was pissed off. Ian knew how he would react but he still did it anyway. He wasn't a bitch but right now he felt like one.

“I don't even know why I waste my time with you” he scoffed.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

“ This is not how this day was supposed to go.” he sighed in in frustration.

They were doing so good. He was doing so good.

He turned to look at Ian who was sitting silently “Maybe I'm stupid because I actually thought.....you know what forget it.”

FUCK! He didn't want to go back to the apartment. It would be fuckin tense and akward and he felt like he would snap at any moment. He didn't want to put himself in that postion.

“I'm not gonna let you ruin my plans.” he said and grabbed a smoke from his pocket, lighting it up. The nicotine helped him calm down slightly.

“We're goin to a fuckin movie. I don't want to go home”

“I can't”

WHAT? Is this kid out of his damn mind. Did he want him to freak out because it really seemed like that was gonna happen.

“The fuck do you mean you can't? You can and you will. You're in no place to be saying no to ANYTHING”

Ian lifted his head and looked at him “I can't Mickey. Fiona is throwing a party for me in an hour. I have to go”

Really? Why didn't he know about this. The kid didn't tell him anything.

“What? Why didn't you tell me?”

“I didn't think you cared” he said soflty. “I'm sorry”

“keep your sorries kid, I don't wanna hear it. Guess that's where were going then” he replied.

Ugh! He was not looking forward to a night full of Gallaghers. He was so freakin mad right now. He just wanted to smoke weed and try to relax but instead he was going to spend the night forced to be social, pretending.

 

************************************************************************

 

He followed Ian up the steps and into his house. The place was a wreck. Ian's sister and her friend Veronica running around putting up decorations and the kitchen counter was littered with various dishes.

He sat down at the table and watched as Ian walked over to the fridge and pulled out a soda.

“Ian! You're early” Fiona said walking into the kitchen with a frantic look on her face.

“We still got a few decorations to put up but Mandys in the living room.

“Cool” Ian replied and wandered into the living room

Fiona looked over at where he was sitting.

“Thanks for givin him a ride”

“Sure thing.”

She walked over to the fridge and pulled out a beer handing it to him.

“Thanks” he replied grabbing the beer and popping the tab. He took a long swing and set it on the table.

“Hey would you mind helpin me move this stuff to the livin room? I mean since you're here and all” Fiona gestured over to the mess of drinks, plates and food on the counter.

“Yea no problem” he replies getting up from the table.

He walks into the living room where Ian, Mandy and Lip are smoking a joint. He puts two bowls of chips and a two litter or Dr. Pepper down on the table.

“Just a few more things.” Fioana smiles at him “Thanks again Mickey you're so nice”

He walked into the kicthen and grabbed the rest of the food setting it down in front of the three stoned teenagers. They were talking amoung themselves completely ignoring him. Fuck em.

"Heres the banner" fiona said as she walked over to him and handed him the homeade birthday banner. "Where do you want it?" he replies.

The girl looks around the room and points to the spot above the hallway closet. He nods and she hands him the tape.

He drags a chair from the kitchen and climbs on top reaching up to tape the banner to the wall.

"Thank you for doin that. You've really been a big help" Fiona smiles as he finishes hanging up the banner and steps down

 

Ian looked over to where Mickey and Fiona hung the birthday banner. His sister thought he was here to help because him and Mickey were such great friends. It made him want to scream. If things were his way Mickey wouldn't even be here, not after how he acted earlier. "Yes thanks for helping even though you weren't even invited" he mocked his sister voice.

 

He watched as Ian's brother laughed and passed him the joint. "Come on birthday boy, that anyway to talk to your friend?" Lip said smugly and and looked over at him

Gsod he hated that guy. He was a cocky fucking asshole.

 

He reached for the joint taking a pull and held it in until he couldn't. He coughed then started laughing "Friend? Mickey? Mickey doesn't have any friends"

 

Mickey glances over at the couch and and sucks his lip between his teeth before turning to walk into the kitchen.

"come on guys be nice. It's not his fault he's an asshole" his sister replies punching Ian in the shoulder. Wasn't really what he wanted but it kinda felt like Mandy had his back. What the fuck ever who cares anyways. Fuck em all.

"Fuck friends" Mickey says with a cocky grin although inside he is feeling small. He looks over at Ian on the couch and raises his brow "Who has time for their whiny pussy bullshit. Am i right Red?"

 

He looked at Mickey and wondered if he should agree. He could agree and be a good boy like Mickey wanted or he could try to be the Ian he was before all this mess. Fuck being a good boy.

"You're right Mick. Who has time for their pussy bullshit when you're being a big enough pussy for them all"

 

He rubs his knuckle to his nose and reminds himself there are other people around. He licks his lips. "Real tough guy huh birthday boy? Think you're funny don't you"

"Mick.." Mandy says soflty, he voice sounding concerned.

"What? I can take a fuckin joke Mandy. I'm the kids boss I'm well aware of his fuckin attitude."

Fiona walks over to him and looks at Ian ""I know it's your birthday but you're bein a dick"

He turns to smile at Fiona "Na. He's cool. Kid knows his place. He's just bein funny aint that right Gallagher?”

 

He looked down not wanting to look Mickey in the eyes "yea that's right" he said softly playing with his hands. He glanced over at Mandy. She had a look on her face that said 'really you're gonna take that shit' No, no he isn't. Mickey can't do anything to him here.

"Actually no Mickey some stuff is a joke and some is the hard truth. You'd just rather not hear it"

 

Fiona looks between the two of them and raises her hand to her head "Am i missin somethin here? Did you too get into a fight?" she looks to the couch " Are you....are you still working Ian? Did he fire you?.she looked over at him "Did you fire him?"

..what the fuck? "What? No of course not. I fuckin should talkin like that though. Kids lucky we're not at work. Someone needs to teach him some fuckin manners"

 

"Are you always this close to your employees Mickey" lip sits up from the couch and looks at him curiously. Fiona turns and looks at him crossing her arms.

Shit!

"I told you Red and Mandy are friends.Where she goes I go."

 

This was getting too messy but he didn't think he could keep his mouth shut.

"Mandy doesn't need an escort Mickey. She can take care of herself but if you insist on being here then the more the merrier I guess" he grabbed the joint and took a long drag. He wanted to be high right now and he was well on his way.

 

*******************************************************************

 

 

Mickey's is sitting in the kitchen drinking his beer watching as Ian visits with his friends and family. The party is in full swing now, the music blaring through shitty speakers next to the TV. He decided it was best to stay in away, to watch from afar. After earlier he wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone or stupid remarks.

He took a sip of his beer then suddenly felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see Ian's little sister Debbie standing there smiling at him. She had the same firery red hair and face full of freckles as her brother.

“Hey Mickey” she smiled and twirled her hair in her finger.

“Hey Debs” he replied and turned back to his beer. He took a sip and felt another tap on his shoulder.

“What do you want kid” he replied rolling his eyes.

Debbie glanced down at the floor then back at him with a smile blushing slightly.

“Why are you in here all alone? Aren't you friends with Ian?”

He scratched the back of his head nervously the smiled at the girl. “yea were friends kid, I just don't do parties is all. I'm having fun right here”

The girl rolled her eyes and stared into his “You're a bad liar Mickey Milkovich. You wanna dance with me?” she grabbed his hand “ come on it will be fun”

He thought about it for a moment but he was in no mood. Even though the girls smile lifted his spirits he still didn't want to socialize.

“I'm flattered Debs but I'm gonna just sit here and enjoy my beer. Go have fun dont worry about me” he replied slowly pulling his hand away.

“oh..ok then. Suit yourself” she replied and skipped away into the living room over to where his sister and Ian were dancing.

 

His eyes focused in on Ian. He watched as the redhead floated around the room like he was walking on the clouds, it was beautiful. It was a side of him that he'd barely seen over the last few day. There were moments like today between the two of them where Ian let his guard down and he would feel more comfortable but he never truly saw the happiness that he was seeing tonight. His smile was genuine and the spark was in his eyes. He'd seen that spark but there was always something else there. Now here at his house surrounded with friends and family it was pure joy he saw in those green eyes. He averted his gaze for a moment when he realized that Ian was only happy because he wasn't there with him. Sure I mean he was there, but he wasn't interacting with him. He had thought about trying to but he didn't want to ruin it. He was fine sitting by himself in the kitchen watching, observing. Ian probably wouldn't even notice if he wasn't there, he was having too much fun.

He suddenly felt eyes lingering on him and looked over to see Ian's older brother Lip. Fuckin people were sneekin up on him left and right in this fuckin place. When their eyes met he knew something was up.

  
"The fuck do you want?" he said as the boy stared at him from the stairway.  
"Just checking to see if you were okay over here. Look like you seen a ghost or somethin"  
He had seen a ghost. He had seen the ghost of Ian's past. He was seeing the boy for who he was before he came into his life and fucked it all up. he was happy, energetic hanging out with his family and going to school. Right now, in this moment Ian wasn't the shell that he created. The person that he wanted him so badly to be but now that he was he couldn't think of anything worse. Now he didn't know how to fix it.  
He looked up at the boy who was leaning against the wall "na man just chillin drinking my beer. You got a problem that?"  
"Well actually I do Mickey “ Lip said walking up to him " You know you may have everybody else fooled but not me"  
"the fuck are you getting at" he said and rubbed his knuckle under his nose. He was feeling anxious and irritated.  
"I know it's you. I always have"  
He scoffed "come again?"

"you're the one my brother's been seein right? You're the one that's got him all fucked up in the head" lip said quietly leaning against the counter across from him.  
"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about dude but I do know you should shut the fuck up" he replied taking a long swig of his beer.  
"yeah I'm sure you don't. Don't kid yourself Mickey its obvious at least to me. I can see the way you look at him and the way that he acts around you. He's different. My brother is a different person and it's your fault" lip replies walking over to him.  
He stands up from the table so that they are face to face. "whatever you think you know you don't. You don't know shit Phillip. So back the fuck up and let me finish my beer. He was over this conversation and he was 10 seconds from decking Lip in the face.  
"Do you love him?"

Yes. Of course he did but he wasn't about to say it. He sat down and twirled his bottle between his fingers looking at the table.  
" I don't know what you're talkin about man. You think just because I work with the guy I actually care about him?"  
"Jesus" Lip sighed and started to walk away. Fucking asshole. He was about to take another swig of his beer when he saw the boy turn around.  
"If you do, if you care about him at all Mickey then back off. Let him be happy. His life was so much better before you were in it." he says and walks off to join the party in the living room.

 

Fucking asshole. Who did he think he was tryin to get up in his face like that. He was lucky he was tryin to keep his cool more or he would have layed him out on the kitchen floor. What did he know? Fuckin prick. He thought he was annoyed before now he was pissed. He needed something harder than a beer to calm his nerves. He thought about going into the living room. There was bound to be alcahol but he REALLY did not want to talk to anyone. Fuck it. He wasn't even wanted here in the first place. It wasn't like Ian was going to see he was gone and suddenly miss him. Fuck em all, he had better things to do then sit here like some bitch pining over a stupid guy. He grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair and his keys from the counter. He glanced back just in time to see Ian curing over in laughter. Someone must have said smomething really fucking funny because his grin was wide and his laugh was ringing through the air. He thought about staying, something about Ian was starting to draw him in. NO. He didn't need to be here, Ian was having fun without him. He didn't wanna somehow fuck that up. He slipped out the back door and walked down the steps to his car.

 

He parked his car in his usual spot in front of the store then made his way down the dark street to the Aliby. He was ready to get fucked up and drown away the emotions that were threatening to expose him with each passing moment. He couldn't get Ian's fuckin smile out of his mind. He made the whole room light up tonight. It's not like he never saw the kid smile before but he never really saw him in such a pure state of happiness. He was tipsy and laughing as he danced with his sister. He was beautiful and free. He deserved more moments like that..where he was free.

“Whiskey....fuckin bottle” he calls as he walks into the bar and sits down at the end of the counter.

Why was he feeling like this? He downed the shot with a hiss enjoying the burn from the whisky on the back of his throat. When did Ian go from being a conquest, a means to an end, to someone he truly cared for? That wasn't how this was supposed to go. He had locked away those feelings. Even when they slowly started to surface he told himself it didn't matter. Why did his feelings matter when Ian didn't feel the same? He had this argument with between his heart and his mind every day, each time he pretended he didn't care. He didnt care if the smiles were fake and the touches and kisses were forced because they were still there. Fuck. He was wrong, he was so fucking wrong. The fakeness of the relationship had only made him want the real thing that much more.

Fuck he had it bad. He wanted Ian more than he had wanted anything before. He wanted him like they were today. He wanted to make him happy and spoil him like he did with his sister. He wanted to be nice and treat himt the way he deserved.

He shook his head and stared at the empty glass in his hand. Ian deserved so much more. He wanted to give it to him, all of it but Ian deserved more than him. He was everything he wanted but could't have. He needed to be with someone who wasn't a fuck up. Someone who could give him the world. He wanted to, fuck did he want too but it was too late. He had royally fucked it up. How could he be such an idiot. What did he really think would come from this? How could he not for see this moment? He went into this because if his stupid fuckin feelings, it only made sense they would resurface and bite him on the ass.

It all happened so suddenly. His life was going fine, boring as usual just the way he liked it. Then in came Ian Gallagher with his bashful smile and boyish charm. He knew right away he would be trouble but he never forsaw this. There were stolen glances and slight touches in the beginning. Ian would smile at him like he was smiling tonight, innocent and carefree it made his heart beat race and his palms sweat. His smile was contagious and addicting and those eyes....

“Fuck” he sighed and filled his glass. He really fucked up. He fell for those eyes. He could get lost in them. They were so complex. He had loved seeing the light and confidence in them when they first met but something changed. The first time he approached Ian and was turned down he saw something new, he saw defiance and fire. It was such a high to put that fire out and replace it will fear and submission, it was...it was a feeling like no other. He knew it the moment Ian took his hand off the door. He placed his hand in his and followed him into the storage room. That was the second he gave him that first hit of control he was instantly hooked. From then it was only just a matter of time, little hits here and there weren't enough. He needed more. He remebered the moment he lost himself, the exact second he gave in to his addiction for power and control and turned into a junkie. That was the same time he became another person, sure before he wasn't the ideal person. Even when he was blackmailing Ian he still had kept his version of morality.

He rubbed his hand against his head and took a long swig from his glass as the movie played in his head. He saw Ian pressed into the wall as he as he took the biggest hit of his life. In that moment, when he completely controlled and dominated the boy, relishing the feeling, the rush of his actions, that was when he lost himself. That was when he stopped seeing is his endgame. He originally wanted Ian to come to him but after that night he used force over and over again until it became his new way of life and the Ian that came through that door looking at him with bright green eyes was replaced by someone who fearded him, hated him. He had made Ian believe he was his, that his life revolved around him when really it was the opposite. His life revolved around Ian. He felt incomplete without him.

He could feel the tears threaten to escape his eyes. Nope not now...not here. He closed his eyes and tried to picture Ian dancing in the living room, the look on his face of pure bliss. Too quickly the image was replaced with red eyes and fliches as their time played back through his head. Jesus Christ what the fuck was wrong with him? No wonder Ian wanted nothing to do with him. How could he? He was a monster. Mandy was right. He was just like his dad. He was an abusive, controlling fucked up piece of shit.

He didn't want to think anymore, his thought were a constant reminder of the mess he made and the life he destroyed. No thoughts..instead just alcahol. He looked at the empty glass in his hand and poured another drink.

Why couldn't he just be happy else. It seemed like he always hurt the people he loved the most. Was that the universes way of telling him he didn't deserve it..love or happiness? His father was right he was worthless. Everything good he touched he broke into a million pieces just like the redhead he was so fucking obsessed with. It wasn't an obsession anymore..maybe it was but he had crossed the line from obsession, to caring to love. He loved Ian. He loved him too much. The fuckin kid had his shit twisted. He wanted all of him all the time, he didn't want to share. How pathetic was that....Jesus Christ.

He felt his buzz slip into a downward spiral as the room started to spin. He wasn't ready yet. He had been dodgeing the thought but he wasn't drunk enough to entertain it, no matter what his body said. His heart wasn't ready, it needed more whisky. So much more. He poured another glass and slammed it gagging as the alchol burned his throat.

Ian Ian Ian. So pretty with his freckles. He liked freckles..Ian.

He looked over at the bartenders..wait no bartender. Fuck he was drunk. Who cares he didn't. “I like fuckin carott tops” he mumbled holding his glass in the air picturing Ian's face “like with the freckles and the pail skin..fuckin alien looking” he slammed his glass on the table and goes to pour another drink.

“Rough night” the girl behind the counter says looking down at him.

“What?”

“You're hitting pretty hard, mayeb you should take a break”

He scoffed and took a sip of his drink before reaching for his wallet and throwing money on the counter “ You can keep your opinions to you're self alright” he replied even though he was barely able to hold his head up. He slammed the rest of his whiskey and hopped down off the stool almost falling to the floor. Ok the bitch was right he was shit faced.

“I'm pretty fuckin wasted” he laughed and threw up his middle finger as he walked over to the door. The room was playing tricks on his, the door kept moving fuck. Finally he reached the door and stumbled out piss drunk into the dark chicago night. The cool chill of the wind on his face sobering him up only the tinest bit. He turned to make his way down the street to the store when someone honked at him.

“The fuck” he shouted stumbling over his feet as he approached the car

“Somebody call for an UBER?”

Fuck it why not “Yea I called for a YUBER” he replied and opening the door and climbing in haphazardly. He gave him the address and leaned back against the cool material of the backseat. He was very thankful as he sat in the strangers backseat that he didn't have to walk. He had drank way to much and would probably have woken up someplace he would rather not be.

The car pulled up to the store and he stepped out offeriing only a dismissive wave. He unlocked the door and walked inside. The stairs were the hardest part, after that all he had to do was stumble down the hall and fall flat on his bed. He willed himself roll over on his back so he didn't throw up.

“Ian fucking Gallagher” he mumbled grabbing the pillow the boy had been sleeping with. He held it closed to his chest, it still smelled like his conditioner.

“You really fucked this one up Milkovich” he laughed and squeezed the pillow tighter. He wasn't a bad person. He wasn't this fucked up monster everyone thought he was. He just wanted to be loved, but fuck if he knew how to do it. He did everything wrong so completely fuckin wrong. How could Ian ever want to be with him..like ever.

“Fuck” he sighed. It was time. He lay his head back and his heart felt empty as he stared into the darkness. He felt the tears escape his eyes and this time there was no stopping them. He knew it was over, he couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't continue like this he wasn't strong enough. He thought he could fake it, that he could ignore the realtiy of the situation as long as he got what he wanted but love wouldn't let him do that. What did that even mean anyways love? It meant he was willing to let Ian go. He needed to. He needed to just cut him off completley and ..and.. “God damn it” he wiped his eyes with his sleeve feeling their salty burn. He turned on to his side holding the pillow tightly and closing his eyes. He didn't want to..he didn't want to be alone. He wanted Ian but not like this. He couldn't ever undo what he did. He would never be able to right those wrongs but what he could do was stop. Ian would figure it out and he would be happy. He knew it. He would find someone and they would make him happy and he...he would just be alone. It was better for every one that way. He clearly had no fuckin idea how to be in a relationship, how to care for someone. He only knew how to hurt and he couldn't hurt Ian anymore because he loved him. He lets his thoughts and emotions take over as more tears wet the pillow held against him. He sank down into his bed wanting to just dissaper and slowly drifed off into a drunken sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted song at the end to avoid a spoiler. This is Mickey POV.


	25. Don't Touch Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I'm not going to post a summary just read xoxo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very short chapter but it gets the job done. xoxo We are almost there guys. Next chapter is the final for the story and is VERY long, just worked out that way. Thank you again for going on this fucked up journey with me xoxoxo.

He hears the persistent shriek of his alarm going off like a siren and groans in annoyance. His eyes slowly flutter open and he can immediately feel the throbbing pain in his head from the copious amounts of alcohol consumed at last nights celebration.

He rubs the sleep from his eyes and slowly makes his way out from the safety of his covers. He immediately realizes where he is and can't help but breath in a deep sigh of relief. He missed his room, his safe place with a mixture of clothes scattered about on the floor and the familiar smell of weed intertwined with nicotine.

Sitting up completely he let out a deep yawn and tried to remember the events of the previous night.  
The details were foggy but he did know he spent most of the evening with Mandy and Lip while Mickey stayed in the kitchen. He had occasionally glanced over at the man, still cut deeply by the words uttered in the mall parking lot. Fucking jerk. He had no right to talk to him like that but that didn't matter. He did it anyway and like usual he accepted it. He should have just told told Tommy, Timmy whatever his name was to fuck off but he was caught up in the moment. It kinda made sense Mickey would be upset at him. The guy had been unusually sweet between breakfast and the presents, it actually felt like a real date and he would be a liar if he said he didn't like it.

Then like clockwork, everything changed.

He half expected Mickey to hit him when they got to the car away from prying eyes but the man kept his cool...if that's what you call basically telling him he was nothing. He didn't need a reminder that he was pathetic, he knew it. He had give up on the idea that he would ever be the confident independent person he was before. Now he was just Mickeys. He was a good boy and did as he was told. Whether or not he believed they were in a relationship was still confusing. On a day to day basis that's how he saw it, they had been together for almost a year. When he was upstairs in Mickey's apartment kept behind a locked door he felt like a prisoner. That was when the whole fucked up situation slapped him in the face and reminded him of reality. Even then though, even when he knew he had no choice in the end he still found himself wanting to make Mickey happy, to get his approval. Life was easier when Mickey was happy and he honestly enjoyed the time they spent together when he did behave. When things were good they were really good..it just never seemed to last.

He remembered looking around for Mickey halfway through the night. The music was blaring and the party was in full swing with the buzz of scattered conversations in the air. He had become accustomed to the man's presence whether it was wanted or not. He was pretty drunk when he noticed Mickey was no longer sitting in the kitchen, his jacket and keys not on the table. He stumbled drunkenly over to the window to peer out into the night only to find his car was gone. At first he was worried but just as soon as the thought came it left. Fuck him, he really didn't want him here anyways. It was only after he realized Mickey had left that he decided to get fucked up. School or no school he needed to drown away the bullshit of today and fucking celebrate.

He sighed at his stupidity, now feeling his stomach lurch and the splitting pain in his head. He stood up from his bed and quickly sat back down as the room came into focus again. Wow he really hit it hard. Get it together man. He stood up again this time making his way across the cluttered floor to his dresser. He grabbed a change of clothes and reached for his phone.

To say he was surprised to not see missed calls or text messages was an understatement. Sure Mickey left abruptly but he figured he had gotten bored or maybe something else came up, in that moment he was just happy he was gone. Now though...as he stared at the blank screen on his phone he felt the feeling of dread wash over him as the thoughts crept into his anxious mind wondering why Mickey hadn't texted him.  
*******************************************************************************

 

It was impossible to focus in class. He spent the whole day watching the clock and checking his phone. Nothing from Mickey. He went home and visited with his family trying his best to shake off the uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach but the closer it came to 4:00pm the more nervous he became. It's not like Mickey was ignoring him, he just hadn't reached out to him. That didn't really mean he did something... right? The last time this happened it turned out to be a good thing. That was the night he and Mickey had....what was it a connection?..a moment? Whatever it was it left him feeling on top of the world, unlike now. He felt scared and vulnerable right now and he hated it.

It was only 3:50pm but he decided fuck it. If Mickey was mad at him, showing up early would be in his favor. He was usually late and the guy lost his mind when that happened so this would be good. He took a deep breath and tossed his cigarette to the ground before pushing open the door to Kash and Grab. Mickey was sat in his usual spot, thumbing through his magazine. He didn't look up or say anything when he walked in which made him even more anxious.  
“Hey” he said casually and walked over to the counter.  
Mickey's eyes remained glued to the magazine in his hands.  
“You left the party last night. I was worried..is everything OK” he can hear the neediness in his voice but he doesn't care. He just needs Mickey to tell him things are OK, tell him he didn't do anything wrong so he could stop running through imaginary scenarios in his mind, but he was met with a cold silence. He scratched the back of his neck and stared at the man for a moment. Nothing..fucking nothing, not so much as an upward glance. Fuck this was not good.  
“I'm just gonna start inventory then if you don't need anything else” he replied hoping maybe as he left Mickey would decide to speak. He grabbed the clipboard off the far side of the counter and began to walk away. He watched cautiously as Mickey put the magazine down to take a sip of his mountain dew.

Well fuck. What the hell? Now it was official, he was ignoring him but why. What did he do? Did he say something stupid when he was drunk? Was he still mad about yesterday? He already yelled at him for it now it was time to make up, that how it worked. That was how this worked. He would fuck shit up and Mickey would yell at him and tell him how to be better. How could he fix it if the stupid asshole wouldn't talk to him?

As the day went on his need for approval, for validation for fucking anything had reached it's tipping point. After numerous un returned glances and not a single word from the older man he needed his attention. He didn't understand why it was bothering him so much. He always wanted Mickey to leave him alone but now that he was stone walling him all he could think about was the complete opposite. At this point he would settle for negative attention because clearly Mickey had no interest in talking to him. He had a temper though and Ian knew it. It was the one thing he always count on for sure with Mickey. Fine that was how he was going to play it. He walked over to the back of the store to the storage room and grabbed a bundle of magazines. They weren't heavy but the glossy covers made them slick in his hands. He walked over to the magazine rack opposite the checkout counter where Mickey was sitting still absently staring down at his stupid magazine. Here goes nothing. He reminded himself this was sure to get his attention and prepared for the repercussion. He went to stock the shelf lifting the magazines unnecessarily high, then with a loud thud dropped the whole pile sending them in scattered directions across the floor. He turned quickly to Mickey expecting him to yell but he only stared back at him. He could see in his eyes he was upset but he just licked his lips and averted his gaze back to his reading.

“are you serious right now?” he sighed bending over to pick up the magazines that were strewn about. Just as he bent over he heard the bell on the door. He didn't think much assuming Mickey would take care of it but there was only silence and he felt eyes lingering on him. He grabbed one more magazine and turned to look over his shoulder. As expected Mickey was lost in his own world and there was a young man maybe late 20's walking around the store. He was rather cute to be honest. His body looked toned under his black t-shirt and his jeans fit quite nicely. He had blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail tucked underneath his backwards hat and a tribal tattoo on his forearm. Ian hadn't noticed he was lingering until he looked up and was met with the mans gaze.  
“Can I help you?” he replied as he picked up another magazine.  
“I bet you can” the man said with a devious smile walking towards him.  
This was great. This is what he needed. Mickey could ignore him all he wanted but he knew how jealous he got. That was what was going to fix this, after what happened yesterday in the mall, he knew exactly what buttons to push to throw the guy over the edge. It was a fine line though, yea he wanted his attention but jealous Mickey was mean Mickey. Fuck it right? He could handle it, not like he hadn't so far.

He stood up and set the magazines in a messy pile on top of the counter making sure to be as obvious as possible.  
“depends” he says coyly and raises his brow “ what are you looking for?”  
The man glances down at the ground then back up at him “You uh got any oil?”  
Ian smiled. Obviously they had oil, what convenient store didn't. “Yea its the 3rd aisle” he replied pointing in the direction.  
“You mind showing me?”  
Perfect. He glanced over at Mickey who gave him a quick look through his lashes before returning to the magazine in front of him.  
“Not at all. Follow me” he replied and walked with the guy over to the shelf that held their little stock of automotive products.  
The man told him he needed the oil for his motorcycle, then proceeded to tell him about said motorcycle.  
“Wow, that sound like a pretty sweet bike” he replied with a smile.  
The man lifted his hat from his head to smooth at his hair then extended his hand.  
“Thanks for the help. My names Matt.”  
“Ian”  
Matt played held the bottle of oil in one head then scratched his neck nervously before glancing behind him at Mickey. He looked hesitant but then spoke softly “Well Ian, when you're shifts over maybe I could give you a ride?”  
Ian let out a muffled laugh and sucked in his bottom lip being as his eyes met with Mickey's blue ones.  
He walked over to the man and leaned in to whisper in his ear “I'm kinda seeing someone” he pulled back with a smile on his face “Thanks for the offer though.”  
Matt gave him a half smile he could tell he was dissapointed. Ian didn't really care he was just a pawn in his little scene for Mickey anyway.  
“Can I help u with anything else?” he said as he walked back over to the mess he made earlier.  
“I'm good. Thank again”  
“Sure thing man” he replied and bent down to finish picking up the scattered magazines.

“5.50$” Mickey said flatly and he heard the sound off the cash register popping open the shortly after the ring of the bell.  
This was it, they were alone again. He braced himself for Mickey to freak out, to call him every degrading name under the sun but again nothing happened...what the fuck? He was seriously getting annoyed with this shit. What the fuck did he do? Why was Mickey acting like this? This was...this was fucking freaking him out. He wanted to say something but decided against it as dejectedly pick up the remainder of the magazines. He walked over to the counter to grab the pile he sat down earlier. His eyes met briefly with Mickey's blue ones but the silence was still deafening so he quickly look away.

He didn't have anything to stock, Mickey had seemingly put away most of the order so all that was left was inventory. He started his count with the coolers, looking at each shelf and scribbling down the numbers on his form. He gradually made his way around the store hearing customers pop in and out.  
It was torture hearing Mickey's voice as he engaged with customers, whether it was giving them their total or supplying lottery tickets. He found himself craving the mans voice. He needed to hear it, the swagger that dripped from every syllable, the confidence. It was one of the first things he liked about Mickey when he first met him..before all of this.

It was nearing the end of the light and he had finished all of his work, all that was left was sweeping and mopping the floor. It was only 845, he still had a little over an hour left so he decided to wait. He walked over to the cooler and pulled out a Dr Pepper stopping to lean against the storage shelf in the back. He took small sips of his soda letting the carbonation float on his tongue as he swished the cool beverage in his mouth. He couldn't stop himself from staring at Mickey sitting their still reading a fucking magazine. Who does that? He swore that was all the guy ever did was read. He could understand a book but the guy read magazines like they were going out of style. He literally had tried everything to pull the mans attention but nothing was working. Usually just dropping something he would have had a small reaction but the flirting. He had gone out of his way make it noticeable, but Mickey didn't seem to care. Why was that bothering him? Why was he needed the mans approval so fucking much? Fuck it didn't matter. What mattered is right now he was feeling alone and completely fucking over how today was going. He leaned against the cool metal thinking of what he could've done but nothing came to his head other than shit that was old. Fuck. He looked at the clock, it was now 9pm. Soon the day would be done and they would go upstairs. Would he talk to him then? Would he punish him then? Ugh he didn't want to think about then, whatever he did he wanted ti make it better now.

Fuck it. He slammed the rest of his soda tossing the bottle into the trash before walking over to the counter. Mickey glanced up at him briefly then again averted his eyes, silent as ever. He knew what to do, if there was one thing he knew for sure about Mickey it was how much he loved sex. He lived for sex with him and he knew it. He walked over to the door and quickly flipped the sign to closed and locked the door. He turned around was instantly met with Mickey blue eyes staring at him with confusion. He walked over to where he was sitting and forcefully pushed his chair back climbing on top of his lap.  
“Ian..”  
Nope. He wasn't going to let him talk. He pressed his lips against Mickeys hungerly, craving no..needing the affection. He felt Mickey relax and his tongue slipped between his lips into his warm mouth, He tasted like Mountain Dew and cigarettes. He held onto his shoulders as he ground against his lap, their tongues still twirling around each others. He could feel the hardness in Mickeys pants and reached down massaging it with his hands.  
“No fuck” Mickey yelled pulling away from the kiss and pushing him hard. The next thing he knew he was on the ground staring up at the man in front of him. What the fuck? Just like what?  
“What? Why? You don't...I don't understand. I thought..”  
“You thought wrong Gallagher. Get off your ass and open the fucking store. We have customers to take care off. Just go do you're fuckin job and don't touch me” Mickey responded harshly.  
“I don't..but why..I'm confused” he stammered, not understanding a thing that was happening.  
“Did I fucking stutter kid? Fuck off and get to work. That's what you're here for. Do your fucking job then get out of my store got it” Mickey snapped standing up from his chair. He watched as the older man stepped around him and walked quickly to the back off the store before dissapering up the stairs. He stood up from the floor dusting of his pants and picking up what was remaining of his pride. Holt shit, what the fuck just happened like...what the hell man. Mickey turned him down, HE turned HIM down. What was going on? He unlocked the door and reopened the store. He thought he felt like nothing before when Mickey was ignoring him, now he felt worse, like less then nothing. If Mickey didn't want him anymore that meant he would be alone. How could he not want him anymore? What changed? He fucking said he cared about him. How could he change his mind so quickly? What did he do?  
He grabbed the broom from the chubby by the storage shelf and began to sweep the floor letting his thoughts take over.

***************************************************************************  
“God damn it!” he muttered to himself as he threw open the door to his apartment. He slammed it shut and paced around in a circle.  
“Fuck” he shouted to the empty room kicking over his trashcan.  
He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands willing himself to keep it the fuck together. He did enough of that shit last night. He was over it.  
He thought about the look of confusion in Ian's eyes when he pushed him to the floor. It killed him to not be able to tell him he did nothing. He wanted to but it was to hard, that would mean admitting he did wrong and he wasn't ready for that. He had barely admitted it to himself. He leaned against his kitchen counter and stared out into the empty room. He wanted Ian so bad it hurt. His fucking heart heart what the fuck?  
It was so hard not to react today, not to claim Ian as his own and remind him off his place. Fuck he wanted to. He wanted to slam his body against the wall and feel the beat of his racing heart as he kissed the spot under his neck.  
He still could. No doubt he could walk downstairs right now and have his way with the boy. Fuck after what just happened Ian would be putty in his hands, a good boy no doubt. He slammed his fist down hard on the counter. NO NO NO! He was not going to do that. He had already done enough. Ian needed to forget about him and move on with his life. He would get the hint. Sure he would hate him but it's was only the circumstance that made the kid believe he felt any other way. He knew Ian had always despised him, he told him that the first day he brought him up here. Nothing had changed, he hadn't changed so why would Ian?  
Fuck it, he was over it. He couldn't...no he could nut he wouldn't do it anymore. He loved Ian and he couldn't hurt him anymore and that's all he did, all he could do. He was pot of anger and insecurity waiting to boil over and Ian deserved more. For fuck sake he was 17 he didn't need to be tied down especially to someone like him. He was 23yrs old and wasn't even close to having his shit together. Ian could have anyone he wanted, he proved it multiple times. Fuck. He wiped his face with the back of his hand and sat up from the counter. He was NOT going to get fucking emotional. He was Mickey fucking Milkovich he did not get emotional, he did not do relationships. He was fine alone, he didn't need anyone.

He walked down the hall to his room and grabbed Ian's backpack off the back of the door. He walked around the room grabbing the clothes that were scattered across the floor and shoved them into the bag. When he was sure he had everything he walked into his bathroom. He grabbed the tooth brush and deodorant from the counter and checked to make sure there was nothing else. He walked into the hallway and glanced at the clock. He'd been gone for almost 40min. Whatever. He had shown Ian the register in case of emergencies, if it was really important the fuckin kid knew where he was. He needed a drink. Ian's backpack in one hand he opened his fridge and pulled out a beer setting on the counter to pop the tab. He picked it up and slammed it willing the cool liquid to wash away any leftover emotion before he went back downstairs.  
*******************************************************************************

He heard the door close upstairs and the creaking of the back stairs. Soon after Mickey emerged from the back of the store. He put something on the back shelf and walked hastily back over to the register. He said nothing when he walked past him, only stared at the ground, looking annoyed.

Ian made his way to the back of the store, they closed in 10 minutes but he was already done with all his work for the day. He walked over to the storage shelf to see what it was Mickey had set down. As he got closer he could see it was...his backpack? What the fuck? Why would he bring that down? He grabbed his bag from the shelf, it was full and heavy. He unzipped it frantically to see all his stuff had be shoved inside including his toiletries. This was weird something was really wrong. Why would Mickey do this? What did he do that made him not want him anymore? That's what this was right? He was going to be staying a week it had only been 3 days. Why wasn't he happy about this? He didn't want to go upstairs with Mickey..did he? Maybe he did, maybe a small part of him wanted to see if he could find the soft gentle Mickey he had seen occasionally..

That didn't seem like an option anymore.

Now he was left holding his backpack as the clock reached 10pm and Mickey stood from his chair to turn the sign and locked the door. He walked slowly over to the counter not sure what he should do. Mickey usually took him home but he made no move to grab his jacket. He obviously wasn't going upstairs soooo what now? Was he going to walk to the train? I mean yea he could do that, he wasn't afraid or anything but he was so fucking confused, it literally felt like his head was spinning. He watched as Mickey typed the numbers into his calculator and printed a receipt, stapling it to the paper on his clip board and sticking it under the counter. He finally glanced up at him before walking over to unlock the door holding it open.  
OK....well that was a pretty clear answer, he was walking to the train..by himself..not staying with Mickey..OK then.  
He didn't know what possessed him but as Mickey held the door open looking at him dismissevley he needed validation. This mood the Mickey was in, this sudden change in everything was fucking with him in ways he didn't fully understand. He needed him to say something, why the fuck wouldn't he talk to him.  
“So I guess this is goodnight then?” he said softly his voice laced was shaking and full of need as he stared into blue eyes. Mickey looked to ground avoiding his gaze once again. Fuck! He started walking to the door but stopped suddenly letting his backpack drop to the door. He reached out and grabbed Mickey by the waist pulling him in close crushed his lips against his like he was kissing to save his life. It was like he needed to breath and Mickey kissing him back was his air but he was pushed away with a firm hand.  
“What the fuck did I say to you Ian? Don't fuckin touch me. Get your ass home and be here at 4:30 got it” Mickey snapped and quickly shut the door behind him. He stood there in disbelief and watched as Mickey walked to the stairs and the store went dark. He didn't know how to feel. He should feel relieved Mickey was done with him but he wasn't relieved at all. He was scared and alone and felt like his world was falling apart. He had become so dependent on the man for affection for reassurance for pretty much everything. Mickey had held his pride his dignity his self worth in his hand for so long he wasn't sure how to feel anymore on his own. He looked over at the darkness of the store once more and let out a deep sigh. This was just a bad day, Mickey was having a bad day, he must have done something wrong and this was his punishment. This had to be Mickey's way of reminding him he was nothing without him because as he walked down the dark street to the train station, staring at the cracks in the side walk that was how he felt...like nothing.

 


	26. Wide Awake Pt 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian confronts Mickey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M ALIVE lol just kidding i mean i am but sorry for the delay. This last two weeks has been very emotional and exhausting mentally and psychically so i have not had as much time to write but i'm finally done!!  
> Thank you Jessica92 for helping me with the dialogue, you're so fun to fight with and together we make #gold xoxo
> 
> So this chapter goes over 4 months and ended up being really fuckin long so i broke it up into two. This is part one. I really wanted to capture Ian's thoughts, growth and inner conflict here. I hope you like it and it's not too hard to follow. The final chapter before the epilogue is coming right behind this one.

 

Here it was Friday afternoon and Mickey had barely said boo to him all fucking weak. Other than essential conversation needed for work the guy had kept to himself going out of his way to ignore him. Fucking asshole. What the fuck? Who does that shit like for real? What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to fix shit if Mickey wouldn't tell him what was wrong? This shit was driving him crazy. He didn't know how to be anymore without Mickey. It was weird not having him around breathing over his shoulder. It was strange to not hear his voice or his praise for so long. He forgot how he was before Mickey, now here he was and he didn't know where to fucking start. He truly didn't realize how bad Mickey had fucked him up until he was gone. Well he wasn't gone but fuck he was giving him the cold shoulder and it was driving him literally insane. He didn't want to do anything anymore because he did everything with Mickey. He hadn't talked to Mandy since his birthday and honestly didn't want to. He didn't want to talk to anyone but Mickey. His was the only opinion that mattered. He needed him.

 

He looked at his phone it was 3:15pm, he would have to leave soon if he had any chance at making it to work on time. He hated going to work, before when things were good he could joke around and have conversations with Mickey even if they never lasted they were there. Now though..the last 4 days it was nothing but deafening silence.

He sat up on his bed trying to muster any motvation he could find. Just as he was about to stand up his big brother walked into the room.

“Hey man. You ok?” Lip said curiously sitting down next to him on the bed.

He rolled his shoulder back taking a deep breath and shook his head “I don't know honeslty”

Lip looked at him and sucked in his bottom lip and rubbed his hands together “Sounds like you need to get high man”

His brother stood up from the bed and walked over to his dresser pulling out a cigarette pack. He thumbed through it before pulling out a thinly rolled joint.

Lip reached into his pocket and pulled out his lighter tossing both over to him then sitting back down.

“Wanna talk about it?”

He sparked up the joint inhaling deep letting the smoke drift from his nostrils “Do I have a choice” he replied passing the joint over.

Lip laughed and raised his brow shaking his head “Not really man” he took a drag “Your boyfriend?” he said in a small voice trying to hold in his hit before blowing it out and coughing.

“How did you know?”

“Come on man. Every time you're upset it has to do with that asshole. What he do now?”

He really didn't want to have this talk with his brother but somehow Lip seemed to always bring things out of him just like Mandy.

“He broke up with me...I think”

“You think? What do you mean?”

Ian shrugged his shoulders “I mean I think. He just stopped talking to me, like out of the blue. He's ignored me before man but this time I think it's for real”

Lip patted him on the back then rubbed his shoulders “Maybe it's a good thing. This guy was no good for you Ian”

Ian scoffed and pushed his brothers hand away “How can you say that? You don't even know him. He can be really fucking sweet ok..its...he just complicated”

“Ian. My brother. Listen to me.” Lip said grabbing his shoulders” This is a good thing. You're too young to be tied down. You need to get out there and get some stange man. Forget about this guy and go make your need known”

Ian blushed at his brothers words. “Come on man”

“I'm just sayin. Don't get all choked up over some asshole who made you feel like shit alright”

He just wanted his brother to shut up even though he had a point. That was probably why it was so annoying, yea maybe he used to be able to just go and find someone to fuck when he wanted but that was before Mickey. Now all he knew was Mickey.

“Alright man. I gotta get ready for work so kindly fuck off please”

“I'm serious dude” Lip replied as he walked out the door turning to look at him.

“I know ok. I know” 

 

Fuck he sighed when his brother left the room. Today would be the the day. He was ging to make Mickey talk to him. He needed to know what was going on, at least then he could do something about it. This up in the air constant wondering was too fucking much and he was over it.

***********************************************************************

 

He stared at the store across the street like he'd done so many times before only this time he was nervous for a different reason. It used to be he was afraid of what Mickey would say or what mood he was in now he was just wondering if he still wanted him, if he should even try anymore. He looked at his phone it was 4:15pm. Fuck it could be 5pm and he wouldn't care, he just wanted to be acknowledged. If Mickey got riled up then there was something he could fix. He tossed his cigarette on the ground and walked across the street. He opened the door surprised to see Mickey not in his chair rather behind it. He was stocking the tobacco products. He turned around to look at him.

“You're late” he said flatly.

 

He suddenly felt angry. He knew he would say something but really? Fucking really? He had to be late for him to speak to him. He threw his hands up the air and slammed them down on the counter..

“He speaks” he laughs sarcastically.

 

How was this kid always late. It was like clockwork. “Your shift starts at 4pm Gallagher not 4:15”

 

"I know what time it starts. I've been working here for over a year now"

 

"Whatever kid just get to work" he sighed not wanting to have a conversation. The less Ian talked the easier it would be to pretend he didn't care.

 

He felt a little better. Mickey talked to him more than he had in days. Maybe that meant he was getting over whatever is going on. He put his backpack away and started helping stock. "So how's your day been Mickey?"

 

Why was he trying to talk again? Did he not get the fucking hint? He stayed focused on his stocking and said nothing. Ian needed to move on, it was better this way. What would he say anyway? Sorry i fucked up your life? No he would get the hint he just needed to take a deep breath and let this play out.

 

Ok maybe he was still upset with him. He wasn't giving up though. One way or another this shit is getting figured out. Maybe if he just kept talking. "Mine was good. Went to school. Mandy's back. She tell you" he looked at him. He didn't seem interested. Fuck 

"Of course she must've. Did you convince her?"

 

He puts up the last carton of cigarettes and turns to look at the boy in front of him "Why are you still talkin Gallagher? Get your ass to work man, Im not payin u too talk" he knew he was being mean but he didn't care. Ian needed to forget about him, they were not friends..they weren't anything real.

 

He grimaced and looked at the ground. Guess negative attention works but still. He doesn't want to talk? Well that's too damn bad.

"I am working Mickey. I just thought maybe we could talk. Fuck me though right" he growled and continued stocking the shelves.

"Whatever" the man replied as he sat in his chair.

He froze and set the box containing bags of chips on the ground. He was so angry. The stress and neglect of this week finally bubbling over. He glared at Mickey.

"Whatever? Whatever, are you fucking kidding me right now? What the hell Mickey!"

 

Seriously what was he supposed to do here? He couldn't give Ian what he wanted which was an explanation. Did he really need to? The kid just needed to be away from him and he would realize it on his own, but no he insisted on talking to him...

"What do you want Ian fuck" he sighed "I thought I made it pretty fuckin clear"

 

He put his hand on his hips across from Mickey. "Made what clear? You haven't made anything clear! Please tell me cause I have been trying to get you to talk to me or touch me and nothing all week. What did I do?"

 

Fuck...god damnit! This is what he was trying to avoid. The kid should be happy he was leaving him alone. He knew Ian didn't want to be with him, he only thought he did because he'd forced it on him. "You didn't do shit alright. Just leave me alone and do your fucking job. Thats it"

 

That wasn't good enough. He didn't know if he wanted to leave Mickey alone. He was all he knew for so long. This wasn't over. He walked over, kneeled down in front of Mickey putting his hands on his waist. "Mick I don't understand ok. If you tell me what I did wrong I can fix it. You not talking is...call me stupid say anything just talk. Please I need you to talk to me"

 

He could feel his heart breaking as the desperate words spilled out of Ian's mouth. Fuck he wanted him so bad but not like this. Not needy and desperate, Ian deserved more than that. He grabbed the boys hands and pushed them away. 

"I'm talking to you right now so listen. Get up and do your job ok. You come in do your shit and leave got it." He waved his hand at the boy "Go on"

 

He felt sick. Mickey was done with him and he didn't know why. He walked slowly over to the box he left on the ground and started placing the chips perfectly. What's happening? Mickey made him want him and now that he does he changed his mind? The more he thought the angrier he got. Fuck him! He dropped the box loudly and turned toward the guy. "You know what I don't fucking get you. This is what you wanted. Me to want you right? Why are you being such a dick?"

 

He couldn't take much more, he was about to lose his shit and not in the normal sense. He wanted to grab Ian and tell him everything, how much he loved him and wanted him but he knew he couldn't do that..he wasn't strong enough. He just wanted to be left alone.

"I'm done with this conversation.. As your boss I'm tellin you to do your job and shut the fuck up. Ok. Just stop please.."

 

He scoffed "As my boss really Mickey? You haven't acted like my boss in a long ass time. What bosses fuck their employees while on the clock? Or have them live with them in their apartment upstairs hmm?" he was pacing now.

This is everything he needed to say "I don't know what's going on or why you changed your mind but you need to change it back. You forced your way into my life and now I don't know what to do without you alright. So get the fuck over whatever this is" he waved his hand dismissively "so we can go back to normal. You can go back to being an asshole at least then I know what to expect. This weird attitude you have now is confusing as fuck and I'm tired of playing this game. So please stop being a complete tool and give me some goddamn attention.. I don't know why but yours is only the attention I want. I need it for fuck sakes. So call me a good boy, yell at me, fuck me, do something other than ignore me. We have been together for too long for you to pull this shit"

 

Mickey shook his head. Every word Ian spoke made him commit to this even more. He knew he had really messed with his head but now as Ian stood there practically begging for him to continue to abuse him he realized he had severely fucked up. The kid actually believed what they had was something.. It wasn't it was fake..all of it. He made him be with him, physically and emotionally.

"This" he waved between the two of them "It isn't real kid dont you get it? It never was....it.." fuck he needed to hold together because right now he felt like he could break.. "You know it and I know it so leave it be and move on"

 

Wait what. It was real at times right? There were times where Mickey looked at him like he mattered. It was all so confusing, or maybe it wasn't. It was simple, Mickey didn't want him. He looked up and locked eyes with Mickey. "This is it...this is you breaking up with me" he said softly.

 

Fuck fuck fuck. Just what the fuck? This is what he wanted to avoid. He didn't want to do this he didn't want to see Ian like this because he would have to face the pain he had caused. He rubbed his nose with knuckle breaking away from the intense stare "Ian we were never in a relationship...how can I break up with you when there was nothing there to begin with?"

 

He took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut. He could feel tears trying to form. He wasn't going to cry over a nonexistent relationship according to Mickey. He knew he was right but whatever still hurt like one. This doesn't make sense. He opened his eyes letting out a stuttering breath. "Not a relationship. Then what the fuck were we doing for the past fuckin year?! The whole time you fucked with my head. Was it some fucking game to you? Was I just a fun toy until you got tired of me? Make me dependent on you then screw me over? Well congratulations I'm officially screwed up. You happy now? Is this what you wanted?! I should've never applied for this job. If I have known what would happen I wouldn't of bothered. I wish I had never fucking met you! You're a complete asshole. Really just fucked in the head. I may be messed up but you made me that way. What does that say about you?"

 

He looks back at the boy letting his words float through him. He knew he was going to react like this, he was mad and hurt. Why wouldn't he be? He had hurt him. He wished he could take it all back as much as Ian did but he couldn't so he sat there silently.

 

Really fucking nothing. He had nothing to say to him.. Well there was one way to get him to talk.

"You don't have anything to say. Not even gonna try to defend yourself? You know what Mickey you wanna act like this then I quit. I fucking quit cause I don't want to be around you if you're like this. Call me crazy but I want to work with someone who will actually fucking talk to me." He crossed his arms over his chest.

 

Yea right. He wasnt gonna quit. According to him, his job was paying the bills... he's buffing. "Thats a dumb fuckin move man"

 

He rolled his eyes "Yea well I don't give a shit. I'll find another job. I rather look for another job than be somewhere I'm not wanted. You made it crystal fucking clear you don't want me so I quit"

 

This is it then. This was really happening. This was Ian leaving his life for good. He could feel the tears brimming in his eyes so he looked back down at his magazine trying to keep his composure.

"Alright" he said softly.

 

"Alright" he went to grab his backpack. He was going slow to see if Mickey would say anything. He walked over to the door then stopped. He opened the door then turned and looked at Mickey. A final chance for him to say something, to keep him here with him. When he didn't say anything he walked out the door leaving him behind.

********************************************************************************

 

What the hell just happened? His world was moving in slow motion as he made his way down the sidewalk to the train station. It was really over..maybe Mickey was right. How could it be over if there was never anything there in the first place? There were moments though right?..There were times when they were together when things were real... Mickey had been soft and gentle, he told him he cared..why would he do that? That meant he had feelings right? You can't fake that.

 

He pulled out his headphones as he stepped aboard the L. Mickey was impossible to read, maybe he was faking it. After today he didn't know what to think. Mickey though had made his thoughts perfectly clear.... fuckin finally. Not a relationship...

 

He sat down and stared out the window watching as the cars past below him, staring at the people moving through their simple lives..He wanted a simple life. Shit, he had one until he met Mickey. He was on top of the world. He had sex when he wanted it, school was going great, and he was top in his class with a straight path to West Point. Then he met Mickey and everything changed. He let the guy take over, break him, manipulate him..control and make him feel something he never thought he would. What was he feeling? Was it love? Did he love Mickey? No. No how could he..the thought made him nauseous. He didn't love him he was just dependent. Fuck. Mickey used him, broke him and threw him away just like he always feared would happen. At least when things were bad he could rely on the fact he was wanted ..now what?

 

Not a relationship....what the fuck was it then? He didn't want to answer that. That would remind him of how fucked up things really were. He didn't want to think about the fact that he couldn't leave..he couldn't do anything without fear it would upset Mickey or he would find out but..they were not together. No they weren't boyfriends..what the fuck? How did he convince himself otherwise?

Wow. He shook his head in disbelief as reality slapped him hard in the face again only this time instead of feeling broken he felt angry. He was pissed. Like WOW. What the fuck? Mickey had seriously fucked his shit up. He almost believed they were something..He scoffed and shook his head leaning back against the seat.

The guy was good. Fucking asshole. This was his plan all along wasn't it?

 

He shivered at the thought.. that he had been manipulated so completely. Never again. Fuck that shit. He was never gonna be like that again..He was nobody's bitch..he was Ian fucking Gallagher..right? Yes thats right.

Even as the thoughts raced through his mind he knew the battle had just begun. He wanted to be Ian again but as he sat there staring at his phone flipping through the songs he knew that was something he had to work towards. At least now he didn't have Mickey telling him he was worthless...he wasn't right? He was something..he could be something. He didn't need Mickey's approval, not anymore. He didn't need to be told he was something... Fuck. Just as quickly as it came the fire that was ignited in him was extinguished. He could pep talk himself until he was blue in the face but he just wanted Mickey. Fucking asshole, why? Why was he still on his mind, after everythig he did...why did he still want him to tell him it was ok. He knew it wasn't but it still didn't feel real. He didn't know what to do, how to be without Mickey..fuck.

 

He sat there playing with his phone when he felt eyes on him. He glanced up and was met with a pair of dark green eyes, similar to his. The gaze lasted mere seconds then the boy turned his head shyly. Ian couldn't help but laugh at the gesture. He turned his body to stare back out the window. He just wanted to go home and curl up into a ball...maybe smoke a fat joint first.

He felt the seat dip next to him and turned around a little too quickly, surprised by the sudden feeling.

 

“Whoa sorry. I didn't mean to freak you out” the green eyed boy said with an awkward smile.

“Uh yea that's ok man, don't worry about it” he replied with a smile.

The guy was cute in a nerdy sort of way. He had short brown hair and round black glasses that Ian could see his reflection in. He looked very nervous which made him feel surprisingly confident. He sat there and stared at the boy waiting for him to talk, he obviously wanted to or he would not have moved seats.

“I uh..I like your shirt. You see them in concert? I only assume cause it's a concert T”

He looked down at his shirt not remembering what he had chosen. Honeslty he didn't think when he got dressed, just grabbed the first clean thing he could find.

He was wearing his black Korn shirt from their Rockstar Energy drink tour.

"Yea man actually I went a few years back with my brother. Bought it from some guy outside the venue. Way cheaper then the swag inside you know?" he replied.

The guy smiled "For real man. That shit's always way over priced, but there are people who pay for it" He laughed

"Right.."

The kid shifted nervously next to him "I'm Zeke...actually Ezkekial but everyone calls me Zeke..you can call me Zeke" he rambled and clumsily stuck out his hand.

Ian stared at him for a moment "I'm Ian. Just Ian" He said with a smirk and shook his hand.

Zeke looked over out the window behind him then stood up from his seat walking to the door.

"Well just Ian.” he chuckled as the doors slid open “It was nice to meet you...maybe I'll see you around"

He could feel the blush creep across his face but thankfully the guy was about to walk out the door.

"Yea maybe" He replied softly with a coy smile that Zeke quickly returned before stepping of the train. He stuck his headphones back in his ear and leaned his head against the wall with a warm feeling in his stomach. Maybe we was worth something.

*********************************************************************

 

It had been 3 weeks since the breakup..or whatever the fuck it was. Who cares. He was over it. He had forgotten how it felt to not have to answer to someone all the time. He was trying his best to embrace being independent... trying to be his old self, praying that the pieces left of him would build a whole person in the end.

 

School had been going good again finally. He was afraid he would never be able to concentrate again. He was taking extra classes and tutoring on Mondays to catch up with the rest of his peer group. It was only in his Math class that he was lacking. Today's session went well. His tutor was very thorough making sure he knew what she was saying and helping him follow along. As far as school was concerned he would be caught up in no time.

 

He was still adjusting mentally which was beyond annoying. No matter how hard he tried he still found himself apologizing all the time, it was so frequent his brother had pointed it out to him.

 

“Dude stop saying sorry all the time” Lip replied as they were washing the dinner dishes.

“I'm sorry I dont mean to it's just..”

Lip sighed and rinsed off a plate putting it in the strainer “You just did it again man”

“I'm..you're right. I don't know why” he laughed uncomfortably. He wanted to say something else but he knew it would end with the same two words mentioned somewhere it always did.

“It's ok Ian. You don't have to apologize for anything alright. Just try and relax for once”

 

Try to relax..that was laughable. Even though Mickey was not around he still found himself craving validation anywhere he could get it. He was still trying to remember how to feel and think for himself since for the last year his life had been ran by someone else.

He sat on his bed and grabbed his magazine from under the mattress. Another reason “relaxing” was damn near impossible. He had become dependent on more than just Mickey's approval but the sex. I mean fuck..the sex.. He didn't want to think about it but sex with Mickey had to be one of the biggest thrills he'd ever had. Whether he was mad or they just were having a normal day the guy was full of suprises. He never saw himself bottoming before Mickey and didn't plan on doing it again but he would be lying if he said it wasn't the best sex he'd had. Ugh..how fucked up is it to think that? He didn't even want it the first time but soon after he was literally begging for Mickey to take him.

No. He wasn't gonna think about it. So what if he hadn't had sex for 3 weeks, he would survive. For now he had his magazine and a bottle of lube and that's all he needed.

He flipped through the pages looking for inspiration but nothing caught his eye. Where he used to see sexy and buff he now saw gross and over compensating. It seemed like an eternity before he found something that was worth his time. He lubed up his hand and leaned his head back holding the folded in half magazine in front of him as he stared at the toned tan body splayed on the page. He stroaked himself slowly as his eyes trailed down the models sculpted abs until they reached his cock which he was grasping firmly. He let his eyes circle the page as he tugged faster at his own cock. He didn't know why this picture stood out among the rest, it could have been the models tattooed forearms or the firefighter helmet that was sitting atop his jet black hair. Whatever it was it was enough. He felt the tightness in his balls and the heat rising in his body as he jerked himself one more time before spilling his hot release into his hand. He breathed heavily and sat the magazine down. He needed to get laid, sure he could jack off anytime but it wasn't the same as feeling warm flesh wrapped around him. He reached down and grabbed a t-shirt from the his messy floor and wiped off his hands and his dick. He was going to have to shower but first he needed to fix this situation. He knew exactly who could fill his need he had just been avoiding him afraid he wasn't good enough anymore. He had been flirted with several time since that day on the train so his confidence was slowly being repaired but he hadn't topped in a year. He used to be able to give a damn good pounding, he just hoped he could live up to his previously set expectations. Fuck that. He was being ridiculous, with how horny he was he wasn't going to have any problems, a fancy dinner sounded kinda nice. He reached over to his dresser and grabbed his phone. It only took 2 minutes after he texted Ned to get a response and now he was on for dinner Friday and dessert.

 

*********

 

He walked into the restaurant and was immediately mesmerized. Ned always had a way with picking places that were top shelf. His mouth watered at the thought of the food they had. There were chandeliers littered throughout the restaurant and each tables had fresh flowers none of that plastic bullshit. He walked up to the host station and was escorted to his table where Ned was waiting for him. He had a bottle of Merlot chilling on ice and there was several smalls bowls of bread and a pot of what appeared to be cheese?

“Hey” he said with a smile and sat down..

He pointed to the food on the table “What's the deal?”

Ned laughed and picked up a skewer from the table “It's fondue. You dip it in the cheese”

Ian watched as the man dipped the bread in the cheese and placed it in his mouth.

He swallowed and looked up at him "Mm that's hot! Probably should have blown on it first" he replied his voice was thick and playful.

Ian licked his lips. Yep..he wasn't hungry anymore..at least not for food. The sooner this dinner was over the sooner he could finally relax and get some ass, however by the looks of the menu everything was this "fondue" shit so dinner would probably last forever. Whatever he might as well try it. He grabbed his own skewer and placed a piece of bread on the end dipping it into the golden goodness. He took the mans advice and blew on his food before taking a bite. The cheese was silky and fragrant, not like any he had tried before, and the bread was soft and spongy the mixture strangely pleasent. "Damn. That is really good" he replied using his napkin to wipe the leftover cheese from his lip.

"Just wait until the bring out the meat. You cook it in the cheese so it's nice and hot in your mouth" the man replied with a sly grin as he poured them a glass of wine. "I can never get enough" he said taking a drink.

He reached for his own glass taking a longer drink. He didn't know how Ned did it but he was never carded when they went out together. He didn't care to know honestly, it was just nice to be able to enjoy a fine wine with his dinner. As he suspected dinner was excruciatingly long. Ned was dropping subtle hints the whole time that kept him on the edge of his seat. He knew what the man was doing. He was probably just as eager and wanted to make sure he was nice and fired up. Well he could check that off his list because he could care less about the steak he was dipping into yet another foreign cheese.. Sure it was fucking delicious but he would have been fine leaving after the bread appetizer. By the time the meal was done they had eaten 4 courses. He had tried several new cheese he never even heard of. Gouda was his favorite, that was what they dipped the steak in. There was another cheese it was spicy and served with shrimp. Seafood and cheese sounded like an awful combination but it was fucking amazing. They had gone through two bottles of wine one red one white when the courses changed to dessert. This had to be his favorite part of this ridiculously long dinner. There were spongecake pieces, strawberries and bannna slices surrounding a bowl of hot melty white choclate.. There was a swirl of dark chocolate circling the top which he prompy destroyed by dipping a strawberry.

“This is so good” he moaned as he bit into the cold fruit wrapped in the silky chocolate.

“I'm glad you like it. I hope you saved room for dessert” Ned replied as he signed the check. He didn't know why it turned him on that the guy didn't even look at the bill but it did.

“I ready when you are” he said folding his napkin and placing on the table.

“Let's go then” Ned replied and stood up from the table.

***********************************************************

He felt so betrayed by his body. He sat on the train staring at the floor embarrassed and pissed off. He didn't know what happened. Things like that did not happen to him. He never had a problem before. It had to have been the alcahol. He did indulge in Ned's Brandy when the returned to his hotel. Ugh. He shook his head as he pictured the look of disappointment in the older man's face...It's ok. This was to be expected, he was out of practice and he had just had too much to drink that's all.

 

He spent the rest of the train ride trying to convince himself this was a one time thing. He texted Ned to set up another date and sure enough the man responded instantly. He put his phone into his pocket and leaned back in his seat. Fuck. He was so fucking horny it was insane. Every glance he was given, every time someone licked their lips it was torture. He needed to fuck and more than just his hand. He rubbed his hand against his forehead frustrated at the turn of the nights events. Looks like it was just him again. Fucking bullshit. Whatever, he would light up a joint and maybe find that firefighter he was looking at earlier. Yea..that would be a good end to this mess of a night.

 

*******

He opened the door to his room and kicked his shoes off. He peeled off his dress shirt and his shoes then tossed it on the floor. No wonder his room was so damn messy. He chuckled slightly as he looked around at the space he shared with his 3 brothers. It was small and smelled like sweat and sometimes farts but it was his...it was home. He plopped down on his bed looking at the clock on his dresser. It was only 8pm. Lip was not supposed to be home for another week and judging by the emptiness in the house Fiona and the kids were at Kev and Vees. He had told her he was having dinner with Mandy. It only took a few times of her asking about Mickey, of any of his family asking about Mickey for him to snap.

He had been sitting at the table drinking coffee with his sister when she asked about the blue eyed man for the last time.

“I know it's none of my business Ian but what happened? One day you're best friends with the guy, you're workin and now you guys are strangers.” his sister rested her chin in her hand as she leaned her elbow on the table.

“He's an asshole Fi. I have told you that since day 1 but you decided to become best fucking friends with him instead of being on my side” he replied roughly as he took a sip of his coffee, his fingers tracing the rim of the cup. It never failed when people brought up Mickey he would get the chill in his bones from anxiety but also the warmness in his belly. The cocktail of confusion that continued to haunt him, but he was slowly learning how to ignore. The easiest way for him to do that was for people to stop bringing the guy up. That's exactly what happened after this conversation. He may have given too much away in his reaction but his whole family was so FUCKING blind it made him want to scream. He was still in awe of how naive his sister was being about the whole situation.

“I get that he's your boss and an asshole...”

“He's not my boss Fi, I told you I quit”

His sister rolled her eyes and took a sip of her coffee. “I know he's not your boss but he was and it seemed like you two were pretty close.” she reached out to grab his hand “I just want to make sure you're ok. You stopped hangin out with your friend and all you do now is mope around the house”

He laughed in disbelief pulling his hand away standing up suddenly. When he was with Mickey all anyone complained about was how he was never around, now he was here and his sister had found a way to complain about that. Well fuck that, she had no idea what she was even talking about.

“Fisrt of all, I talk to Mandy all the time but she's busy with school” he snapped. “Mandy is my fucking friend Fiona not Mickey.” he ran his hand through his hair in raising his brow defiantly “If you payed attention once in awhile instead of assuming you would know that. I told you I hate Mickey didn't I?”

His sister sat there staring at him eyes wide in bewilderment at the sudden outburst.

“Yes but..”

“No Fi...no buts. Mickey doesn't come around anymore cause he doesn't want to. He's a complete douchbag that only thinks about himself and theres nothin here for him anymore OK. Not my fault you didn't listen to me and thought you guys were actually friends. I don't work there and we are not and have never been friends so please don't ever bring him up again OK.”

The look in her eyes told him he had given himself away. Damn it!

He felt an overwhelming sense of relief but he was also on edge waiting for his sisters reaction. He didn't mean to go off on her like that but she had no right to talk to him about Mickey.

“Sit down” she said firmly and immediately he had taken his place at the table again running his fingers apprehensively over the table, waiting for his sisters to speak. She folded her hands on the table and stared at him thoughtfully. He couldn't take the silence.

“Fi I..”

“Ian stop. It's ok. I understand. You don't have to explain”

“What do you mean? He said looking over at his sister with curiosity.

“It just all makes sence now, I just....how did I not see it before..that you two were you know?” She glanced down at the floor with knitted brows, her forehead resting in the palm of her hand as she stared at the taking it all in.

This is not what he wanted. It wasn't his sister fault he had been to scared too stand up for himself, too broken to confide in anyone. It was Mickey's fault and his for letting him control him.

He reached out and touched his sister's arm gingerly offering her a half smile. “I didn't want you to see honestly. We tried to make sure you didn't. Now you know so can you please stop asking me about him”

She looked up at him and grabbed his hands. “Of course. The name will never be spoken again...are you sure you are ok though? I mean Ian..that was a long ti..”

“Fi” he said with an exasperated sigh

“Ok Ok. I'm done” she smiled before getting up from the table. She walked over to him and tussled his hair giving him a small kiss on the cheek...

 

He leaned back in his bed with a smile. That conversation had set him free in ways he didn't understand. He had a feeling Lip already knew and he was right but he never thought he would tell his sister. Just like everything else in his life so far, he didn't plan on it..it just happened.

 

He grabbed his magazine from under his mattress and began to flip through the pages, looking for a certain centerfold. Once he found the toned tan body and tatttooed forearms he'd enjoyed earlier in the day he reached clumbisly into his nighttand and grabbed his lube. He unzipped his jeans and let his hand slip under his boxers. The lube was pleasantly cold as he wrapped his hand tightly around his shaft. He was not even at a semi and it was pissing him the fuck off. He gripped himself tighter and focused his hardest on the model in front of him as he willed himself to get hard. Green eyes.. black hair... toned chest...he repeated to himself closing his eyes, trying to conjure up the model in another position.maybe one where he was fucking him. Green eyes.. black hair... toned chest. Green eyes.. black hair... toned chest...Blue eyes.. Green eyes.. black hair... toned chest...Blue eyes..so blue. Blue and mysterious. He saw blue eyes staring back at him..black hair combed back and toned not tan but creamy white body. So white and skin so soft. He wasn't behind him no he was beneath. He was beneath and his hip was being gripped firmly with one tattooed hand while the other was jerking him. He was so hard now, as his hand moved furiously over his cock. It felt so warm and rough just like he wanted. Blue eyes stared at him filled with lust and something else..something that made him want more.

“Fuck” he moaned as he felt the electric feeling rising in his body that only one person had been able to conduct.

“ _say my name”_ The voice echoed in his mind just as he felt his orgasm reach it's peak.

“Mickey” he panted heavily opening his eyes in time to witness his hand fill up with the hot puddle of cum.

“Jesus” he sighed and leaned against the wall, letting himself come down from the high he hadn't felt in so long.

 

Once he had composed himself he grabbed a shirt from the floor to wipe off his hand.

“Fuck!” he snapped throwing the shirt angerily into a pile of soiled clothes.

He paced around his room uncontrollably. The thoughts running through his mind, taking over.

What the hell was wrong with him? He couldn't get it up for a real fucking lay but one thought of Mickey and he was cumming like a fucking faucet.

“Fuuuucck!” He sighed running his hand down his face. He needed to get over this. It was just sex, that's all it was. That's all. Mickey was hot as fuck, always had been. It was his personality that turned him off and even that, the confidence and swagger that oozed off the man was attractive. He was an asshole though. He was a jerk who fucked up his life, broke him. He was the reason he was pacing back and forth like a crazy person after just getting off. Who the fuck does that?

He took a deep breath and told himself, it was purely physical. He didn't have to feel bad for that right? Right, fuck it and fuck Mickey. He opened the door and made his way to the bathroom to shower off. It had been a long fucking day and now he felt dirty. He wanted to feel clean again, start over again and forget the blues eyes black hair..and toned body that haunted his dreams.

*******************************************************************

 

He coudn't believe it had been 2 months already since he left the Kash & Grab a broken mess. He laughed at how pathetic he was thinking that his life revolved around Mickey. He was on top of the world right now. School was great, he was spending more time with his family. The only thing missing was sex and even then he had 2 hands, it was only a matter of time before he found someone who turned him on. He figured the thing with Ned was a fluke. He had drunken to much and honestly it was too soon. He should have expected there would be some issue there. He had not thought about Mickey since that night when he jerked off to his mysterious blue eyes. He made the decision to watch porn on his phone instead of rely on his imagination, that was a dangerous place and deep down he knew where his mind would wander. At least when he watched porn he had no room to wonder, it was pretty straight forward. He would be lying though if he said he wasn't dying to get laid. He was constantly in a state of irritation due to the lack of actual sex, the feeling of warm heat wrapped around him. He needed to get some fucking ass. At least a blow job if anything, he wasn't going to be picky...not at this point.

 

He hadn't hung out with his best friend since his birthday party. Sure they saw each other in passing at school but they didn't take any classes together. Mandy was so far behind they put her in junior classes instead of sophomore. They had been sure to keep in touch though, texting each other almost every day.

He was excited for tonight. This was the night he knew it. He was ready, he was feeling like his old self again and was ready for a night of drinks and dancing with his best friend.

 

He opened the door to see Mandy in a short chrome blue dress that sparkled and strappy black high heels. Her hair flowed loosely down her shoulders.

“Wow you look great Mands” he smiled ushering the girl inside.

She ran her hand through her hair and eyeballed his outfit “Not to shabby yourself” she replied

He was wearing dark blue jeans with a brown belt and forest green t-shirt. Nothing too fancy. He didn't really need to dress up, the shirt outlined his body perfectly. Since he returned to ROTC his body had gotten more toned and he was not afraid to show it off.

“Just need to find my wallet and we can go”

He knew he set it down somewhere before he started getting ready but couldn't remember. Damn it! Not like they would try to ID them but he couldn't depend on complimentary drinks all night he needed some cash.

“Jesus where the hell did I put it?” he spun around the kitchen getting more and more annoyed.

“Lookin for this?” his brother said smugly as he walked into the kitchen from the living room.

Ian shoved him playfully “Asshole, you had it the whole freaking time?”

Lip shrugged his shoulders and eyeballed his outfit before turning to look at Mandy. “What are you kids all dressed up for?”

Mandy stands up and walks over to him grabbing his waist and looking Lip dead in the eye “We're going to grind up against sweaty bodies” she replied seductively rubbing up against him “Wanna come?”

Ian watched as his brothers face turned a slight shade of crimson. He could tell he was flustered by Mandy's blatant advances.

“Uh no thanks” Lip replied walking slowly backwards to the stairs. “I'm good here you two have fun and uh be safe”

Just as his brother turned around Mandy called out “That's too bad. You're missing out”

“Don't I know it” Lip said with a shy smile as he climbed up the stairs looking over his shoulder at them as they left the house.

 

They walked outside and he looked over at his friend. “What was that all about?”

“What?” Mandy replied pouting her lips and raising her brow, her hands shoved deep in her jackets pockets to avoid the bitter cold.

Ian shivered and zipped up his hoodie. He had thought about giving it away but it was really nice, and very warm, that's the only reason he kept it. That's what he told himself.

“Don't give me that face” he replied as they made their way down the dark street to the train station. The street lights were illuminating Mandy's face and he could see the sparkle of hope in her eyes, even if she said nothing.

“Really? You still like him? He's kind of a tool if you didn't notice”

Mandy pulled her hands from her pockets and opened her purse pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. She took a deep breath and exhaled, the smoke was amplified by the cold and bitter night.

“He's sweet Ian and now that bitch Karen is out of the picture so I think I have a chance”

She turned to look him in the eye handing him the cigarette.

“Do you think I have a chance. I mean..do you think he likes me?”

His friends voice sounded frantic and desperate which surprised him. He knew she liked Lip but he didn't realize really how much until he was staring into her deep blue eyes. He reached his arm out pulling her in close. “ Definitely. He'd be freakin crazy not to”

They walked the rest of the way to the train station sharing their smoke and discussing why Lip is perfect..so he listened to Mandy the whole way in reality. Whatever. He wanted his friend to be happy and if that meant she may or may not date his brother than he'd live with it.

 

*********

 

 

They were dancing to the beat of the music the alcohol coursing through their veins. They had been drinking practically for free all night being bought shot after shot by various patrons. His hands were wrapped securely around Mandy's waist as she rolled her body to the music, dipping her head and running her hands through her hair. He was enjoying letting lose with his best friend, it had been too long. He gently swayed behind her as she backed her body against him but his eyes were elsewhere. He spotted a decent looking guy maybe 30s dancing across the bar. He had brown hair and a muscular build, looked blue collar by the blue jeans and t-shirt he was wearing. He could tap that and he knew it.

“Hey 12 o'clock" he whispered to his friend who turned her head to look.

She looked in the direction he had pointed and smiled "He's cute I guess. A bit old for my taste"

 

He laughed and rolled his eyes as the girl turned around and grabbed his shoulders. "Not for me. No I need to get laid Mands.” he grins and looks down at his friend raising his brow mischievously. “Plus he looks nice, after my last boyfriend I could use nice"

"I guess he does look nice. Nice and boring.” Mandy replied as she lifted her hands above her head swaying her chest to the music. She look him in the eye before turning to back up against him again

“Your ex was a lot of things but at least he wasn't boring"

He scoffed at the comment "Yea he wasn't boring he was a fucking psycho with daddy issues. I'm not lookin for a relationship just wanna fuck with a real man." He caught the dudes attention winking at him.

"Oh cmon Ian we all have daddy issues" Mandy laughed "Who doesn't being raised on the South Side"

He felt a smirk cross his lips at the girls words. She was right, Frank was a piece of work. Strangely he disappeared a while ago, not so much as a phone call. Mickey though his shit was different, deep and dark. "True but some of us know how to deal with shit. We don't need to hurt people to feel better about how pathetic we are"

"Pathetic yea but some of us have a dad like Terry. That's not shit you just get over"

He looked down at his friend suprised by her words but letting them roll off "Yea well there's a way to deal with shit Mandy. Being an abusive asshole who throws a tantrum when they don't get their way is not the way to deal with it. Like I'm just ready to get my dick wet and forget about that stupid prick for good "

"You're right abuse is never ok. So go ahead get your dick wet. Who am I to stand in your way" she replied sarcastically with a roll of her eyes before returning her attention to the song playing.

He shrugged his shoulders disappointed his best friend wasn't as enthusiastic about him scoring as he had hoped which took away some of the fun honestly. "Come on Mands..do you know how long it's been since i've been laid? Too fucking long. It would be nice to have fully consentual no strings attached adult sex for once.”

He leaned his head on her shoulder thoughtfully "I mean I was in a "relationship" for a whole year. I'm single and ready to fuckin mingle man" he smiled and rocked his body to the music with his friend, his hands still holding her waist.

 

"Ok ok well if you really think he's the one to break your dry spell then go get him. I just think you could do better" Mandy shrugged "I don't know much about your ex other than what you told me but you said he was hot. That guy is like a 5"

 

He thought about it for a moment looking back over at the guy. Now he was thinking about Mickey. She was right even saying 5 was pretty generous compared to the blue eyes man who haunted his thoughts but Mickey was...fuck he didn't know how to describe the guy. He was continuously intrigued by him but he hated him at the same time. He hated how he made him confused. He couldn't trust his feelings whether it was about himself or about Mickey. Whatever. He just needed a fuck, he would settle for a random in the bathroom at this point but his friend didn't need to know how desperate he felt.

“You're right Mandy, my ex was a dime but he was out of his freakin mind, like fucking crazy, unpredictable, possessive..just a fucked up person. I'll settle for less sexy if it means they are not a fuckin psychopath.”

"Damn Ian tell me how you really feel" She snorted "But you're right my brother has always been a little crazy. Some would say it adds to his charm. Mainly I just think it makes him more of an asshole"

 

He stills and can feel his chest tightening as the air escapes his lungs and his heart begins to pound. That did not...no. He must have heard that wrong right? ..no way. His mouth is dry as he steps away from Mandy as she goes to move against him. "What did you say?" He watches as his friend turns around, her face is ghost white and she looks frantic. "Mandy why did you say your brother? You did right?"

 

"Ian I...I don't know what you're talking about. Of course I didn't say my brother. You must've heard me wrong"

 

He shook his head in disbelief "No Mandy you did. You said "my brother" meaning Mickey. I can't" he runs his fingers nervously through his hair "I can't understand why you would say that" he looks his friend in the eyes desperate for any answer other then the one he is hoping cannot possibly be true. There has to be some other reason..

 

"No I didn't ok it's really loud in here. I can barely hear myself think. C'mon why would I say my brother?"

 

He laughed at looked at his friend feeling a lump in his thoat. He wasn't crazy, he knew what he heard. Fuck. He glanced down at the floor then slowly back up at Mandy "You knew didn't you" he said feeling the shame and embarrassment take over. "Don't lie to me Mandy, I can see through you"

Mandy shuffled from foot to foot. She sighed "Yea Ian I knew"

"How....I don't..why" fuck he couldn't think straight enough to form a full thought. He took a deep breath to collect himself before looking down at his friend.

"Did you know the whole freakin time? You just thought it was better that I felt alone, so that you would have someone to talk to?" he turned in a half circle coming back to his place "I mean jesus Mandy what the fuck? When?..Tell me when you knew."

"I found out a couple months ago. Ian I'm so sorry. I tried to help. I confronted Mickey and told him to sort his shit. To stop hitting you. But there was only so much I could do"

He scoffed and stepped backwards needing to put distance between them "There was only so much you could do? Hmph how about not letting me feel alone Mandy! How about that? Did you ever think how I felt?..I mean you knew what was going on and it never occured to you to talk to me about it? You told me I could trust you. You told me you were my friend. You're not. You and your brother are just the same. You like to use people and play sick fucking mind games because you're unhappy with your own life. Well I'm done."

"Ian please don't say that. You're my best friend ok. I'm sorry. You're right I should have talked to you. What can I do to make it up to you?"

"You can stay away from me. That's what you can do" he replied coldly as he slowly walked backwards away from his now crying friend. He saw the look of defeat in her eyes as she stared at him one more time before running off the dance floor. 

 

Fuck. Did that really just happen? How could Mandy have known and not said anything..how. He's ready to just leave and go home when he feels someone standing next to him. He turns to look and sees the man from across the bar.

“You get into a fight with your girlfriend?”

Ian rolled his eyes. It was terrible pick up line, clearly he was at a gay bar so Mandy was not his girlfriend. He wanted to fuck though so he would play nice.

“Not my girlfriend..not even sure if she's my friend anymore” he sighs.

“Well ...sounds like you could use a drink.” the man looks at him and raises a brow “My treat”

“I'd like that” he replies and they make their way across the bar.

 

************

 

Several jack and cokes later and Ian finds himself stumbling into the guys apartment. He didn't catch his name..it didn't matter. He wasn't lying when he said he just wanted a quick fuck and this guy had the body and ass to make that happen.

The guy tries to kiss him but he blocks it with his hand. “I don't do kissing” he says firmly.

“At all?” the guy replies looking a bit turned off.

Damn it. He was not leaving here without getting laid.

“Fine just not on the lips” he sighed and soon the strangers lips were pressed against his neck.

He tried to find it enjoyable but all he wanted to do was bend him over fuck and leave. He didn't care about the warm up. He undid his pants allowing them to fall down to the floor.

The man reached down beneath his boxers to massage his dick, he shuttered at the feel of another hand on his cock. After a few minutes of neck kissing and grinding against him the guy looks over at him.

“You're not hard?”

Not again, not fucking happening. “Try harder” he sighs and runs his hands over the mans jean covered ass.

The mans moves pulls and tugs but it's no use. He can feel himself getting more and more irritated.

“What the hell man? You sure you're gay?”

“Yes I'm fucking sure. How about you put that mouth to use maybe” he snapped and grabbed the guys shoulders ushering him down to his knees. He felt the wetness of the mans lips and the warmth of his mouth around him, something he had been wanting for a while now yet for some fucking reason the universe hated him and he was limp as a fucking noodle. He let the guy try for a few minutes before pushing him off and pulling up his pants.

“Fucking forget it” he said and turned for the door.

“You serious?” 

He didn't answer because he didn't care. Guy could go back to the bar and find someone else to take home but not him. No he was going to go home and pray that he could fucking jack off and get some sort of release. He really was looking forward to getting laid but this was the second time his dick decided not to join in on the fun. Fucking asshole. He lit up a cigarette and walked down the dark street to the train station. He only hoped that when he did get a release that it wouldn't be picturing the same blue eyes that seemed to find him every time..


	27. Wide Awake Pt2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FUCKING FINALLY AO3 was bein a fucking asshole lol
> 
> This is it yall. Thanks for coming along on the ride. I ask you to consider the circumstances of this "relationship" when you read this chapter. I wanted to keep it as realistic an outcome as possible. All that's left is the Epilogue and i'll post that tomorrow. Thank you all for coming with me on this twisted journey. I know it was not as happy and fluffy as most things out there but that's not really my style. I hope you enjoy xoxox  
> This song is so this chapter!!!!  
> Thanks to Jessica92 as always the ying to my yang xoxo

He was so relieved it was Summer. His body still tried to wake up at the crack of dawn but he had slowly gotten accustomed to sleeping in later and later. He yawned and stretched his hands above his head before sitting up. He instinctively reached for his phone, but once it was in his hands he didn't know why he grabbed it in the first place. It had been 2 weeks since he and Mandy had their fight at the club. He was angry in the moment and said some pretty harsh things. He wanted to reach out to her sooner but a part of him also wanted to be done with that part of his life. Mickey and Mandy could just fade away together and he would really have a fresh start...bullshit. He loved Mandy. She may have made the wrong choice but she loved him too. She was in an impossible position and he was going to pretend he knew how she was feeling. What he did know is that he missed her. He missed her so fucking much. 2 weeks of being cooped up with his family, no work no school, no fucking friends. He was going crazy. Fuck it he decided and pulled up her name in his phone.

 

**(11:30) Ian : Hey**

No response. He shouldn't be surprised. Just one more thing he had managed to fuck up and this time he had no one to blame but himself. If he was never going to see her again he at least wanted to tell her he was sorry for being a dick.

**(11:40) Ian : Look i'm sry for being an ass. Plz just knw that I didn't mean what I said.**

**(11:41) Mandy : about me using you because I'm pathetic or the part where you tld me to stay away from u**

**(11:43) Ian: both. I was mad. I'm sry but you should have tld me**

**(11:45) Mandy: I wish I cld take it back. I really didn't knw if it wld make it better or worse**

**(11:47) Ian : I knw Mands can you just come over 2 tlk?**

**(11:50)Mandy: Can't goin out to lunch and too the movies.**

**(11:52) Ian: aww Lips gonna be ?**

**(11:55) Mandy: ew! Not a date going with Mickey. Been spendin all his $$ lately**

He shuddered at the the thought. Why did his best friend have to be Mickey's sister. It was like no matter how much he tried to distance himself, something Mickey related always found him. Whatever, he would learn to live with it.

**(11:58) Ian: Dinner then? Fiona is making meatloaf and it's movie night**

**(12:00) Mandy: 7 ok?**

**(12:01) Ian: 4sure see u thn**

*********

 

 

He was so happy to open the front door to see his best friend standing there twirling a piece of hair around his finger.

“Hey”

“Hey yourself” she replied and looked at the ground.

He grabbed his hoodie from the coat rack and stepped outside shutting the door behind him.

“Your brother here?” Mandy says with a smile before lighting up a cigarette.

He looks at his friend in amusement shaking his head “Really? You're worried about Lip?”

“What? It's been like forever he could have gotten back with the dumb skank”

“Well he didn't..he's been kinda miserable actually sulking around and bein an ass.”

“Sounds familiar” she replied taking a drag.

“What do you mean?”

She looks over at him nervously “Never mind forget I said anything”

“Jesus Mandy again? What are you not telling me..I mean really?” he snaps.

She punches him hard in the arm.

“Dude?” he sighs rubbing the sore spot.

“First of all don't snap at me and second it's really not you're business anyway.”

“Fuck fine, could have just said that”

She smirks and tilts her head taking another drag “That wouldn't have been as fun”

 

They finish smoking and head inside for dinner. Mandy spends the night making flirtatious comments at his brother and in the end they all go to the living room to watch some chick flick his sister picked up. It was suprisingly funny. The main character was a female comedian he's seen on TV before and she had a raunchy sense of humour. He glanced over at his friend and brother who were cuddling on the couch. He was happy things were going her way, he just hoped his brother wasn't stupid enough to think she was just a distraction. He cared about Mandy and wanted her to be happy. The movie ended and the soft sounds of children snoring filled the room. He looked over to find his brother and Mandy AWOL. Good for them. He stretched back and closed his eyes. Guess he was sleeping on the couch tonight.

 

********

 

 

The theater is dark and the smell of popcorn is in the air. Mandy had dragged him along once again to another movie date with Lip. Last time it was The Hitmans Body Gaurd which was really funny but he had a hard time concentrating because his best friend was sucking face with his brother. This time it was a horror film which he was actually excited about. They went to see IT but once again instead of watching the movie he was distracted by the high pitched screams of his best friend.

“Oh my..oh my god no!!” Mandy squealed when the little boy got pulled into the sewer.

His brother quickly came to the rescue pulling his now girlfriend close and kissing her on the forehead. One thing led to another and here he was sitting through another movie listening to the wet sounds of Mandy and Lip making out. It wasn't that he was unhappy they were together it's that they were always so happy. Either they were in the living room cuddling on the couch or in his kitchen feeding each other fucking pancakes. He couldn't escape it. He didn't know why the two being so happy and fucking cute got to him but it did. They had been dating a little over 2 months now and every day they were together was a constant reminder he was alone. Not to mention he had to start jerking off in the shower which was really irritating because it was hard to watch porn in the shower. He had tried once when Lip and Mandy burst through the door hot and heavy and he rushed out just before his friend pulled off her blouse. He thought maybe he could hold his phone away from the stream of water but as he reached his climax his hands trembled and he almost dropped the fucking thing. So yea maybe he was bitter.

 

When the movie was finally over Mandy decided she wanted to go back to her house and smoke some weed. He didn't say anything because after all he was the third wheel on her date but he was not looking forward to going back to the Milkovich house. He hadn't been there since the day after he and Mickey had...whatever it was. Sex I guess, he was just high and drunk so in the moment it seemed like more. Whatever it was he knew being there would dredge it back up again. He also knew that he wanted Mandy in his life and that would inevitably mean hanging out at her house so he would have to get over it. He told himself that as the three climbed the stairs and entered the house. He was immediately hit with the familiar smell of weed and cigarettes as he walked through the living room.

“I'm gonna go grab us the good stuff” Mandy said with a smirk as she turned to walk away.

He sat down on the couch and felt suddenly very uncomfortable. It was like when Mickey left him in the apartment and all the memories came flooding back to him. This was happening now. As he looked around the room he saw nothing but reminders of Mickey, it was clear he'd been there recently.

One of his jackets was resting on the kitchen chair and he could see a half drunk bottle of tequila on the counter. He took a deep breath and sank back into the couch trying to silence his mind.

“You ok man?” Lip said looking over at him.

Wow he had completely forgotten his brother was even there.

“Yea man I'm cool just haven't been here for a minute is all”

He brother nodded in understanding. They had never really talked about the fact he had been with Mickey but his brother had managed to figure it out.

“Don't worry about it man, just try to relax and smoke some weed alright?”

“Yea ok” he replied.

He heard a door close then Mandy appeared with a handfull of joints plopping down between them.

“Mickey always has the best weed” she says with a smile pressing a joint between her lips and sparking it up.

She takes a long drag then passes it over to him. He hesitates, the thought that Mickey rolled these joints and they were his was making his mind say no.

“You gonna hit that or what man?” Lips says leaning over to look at him from the other side of the couch.

“Yea” he replies shortly and brings the joint to his lips. Fuck it..and fuck Mickey.

He takes a hit and immediately starts coughing. He has to pound on his chest to silence the fit.

“Fuck” he coughs and Mandy laughs.

“I told you..good shit”

They spend the next hour smoking and playing video games. He's feeling great now, the previous anxiety he had before was gone. Now he felt light and floaty laughing with his brother and best friend as Mandy schooled them at COD.

“See I told you I don't cheat” Mandy laughs and shoves him playfully.

“Oh come on man. We both know you look at the screen” he says with a wide grin.

“You look at the screens?” Lips says standing up from the couch.

“I don't..I mean sometimes I see it but”

“Ah ha! I knew it” he laughs jumping up from the couch as well.

He suddenly feels the overwhelming need to piss. “I'll be back gotta use the bathroom”

“Use the back one. The one up here doesn't flush Mickey's supposed to get it fixed”

He scratches the back of his head nervously “Y..yea alright.” he replies and heads back to the restroom.

The thing about Mandy house was the other restroom was only accessible by going through Mickeys room, someplace he REALLY did not want to be.

He pushes the door open and is hit by a wave of familiarity. He averts his eyes and makes his way to the restroom.

When he walks out he has no intention on stopping, that is until he sees a pack of cigarettes laying atop Mickey's dresser. He can hear the laughter outside the door and reluctantly decides to wait out the inevitable. He grabs a cigarette from the pack and sees the upside down cigarette. He never understood why Mickey did that. He called it lucky whatever that meant. He felt a small smile cross his lips and sat down on the bed lighting up the cigarette.

He looked around the room and slowly started to picture the time he spent there. It wasn't like the apartment..no. He'd only been in the room a couple of times. The time he was picturing was the most recent. The time that constantly played in his head no matter how hard he tried to block it out. He lay back on the bed and was enveloped in Mickeys scent. His pillow smelled of musk and mint. He didnt know why he pulled the mans other pillow close to him but he did. He held it tight and breathed in more of the tantalizing scent that was Mickey. He closed his eyes and smiled when he thought about Mickey wanting to be a muscian.

 

**_“Why have I never seen you play? I'm around you all the time. You should play for me. Show me what you got.”_ **

****

**_“You're too fuckin cute you know that”_ **

****

Fuck he was so perfect that night. He was carefree and playful. They were feeding off of each others energy and having a real conversation. It was truly a good night, one of the nights that made him think that maybe what they had was something. 

“Hmm” he sighed and pressed his face deep into the soft fabric of the pillow.

He said things like that a lot..maybe not in the beginning but towards the end when he was behaving Mickey was always telling him how cute, beautiful or sexy he was. Normally that kinda thing wasn't for him but with Mickey it was just....it was something he craved. 

He let his eyes flutter open after a few more moment realizing he's been gone for quite sometime.

It was an insane transformation, he went from not wanting to step foot in the room for fear of the memories to not wanting to leave so he could stay wrapped in there warmth. He wanted to stay in that night in that moment with Mickey. They were both happy and things were good...in that moment. He sighed and put the pillow back in its rightful spot standing up from the bed. That was a night he would never forget but it was over. Mickey had made that clear and he didn't really want to be with him anyway...did he. Fuck..this is why he wanted to avoid this shit. Coming into this room, coming into this fucking house. It started an unreasonable train of thought that was nearly impossible to shake and even when he did it always found its why back. The what ifs, the maybe I do, the thoughts that he wanted to be with Mickey.

 

He ran his hand down his face in frustration feeling his high fading away. He opened the door to find Mandy sitting on th couch alone playing COD.

He walked out quietly shutting the door behind him.

He plops down on the couch next to his friend, setting his legs on the table.

"Man what took you so long? Did you fall in or somethin. You've been gone a while" Mandy says with a smirk and passes him a newly lit joint.

He grabs it and laughs leaning back into the couch staring at the ceiling. “Sorry I just got distracted I guess”

"Distracted?” she looks at him curiously “Distracted by what?"

He looked over at his friend and rolled his eyes "It's stupid Mandy. I don't wanna talk about it"

"Cmon talk to me...Is it about Mickey"

"What? No....what? Why would you think that" he says blowing out a large cloud of smoke and passing the joint to his friend. Mandy takes it and leans into the couch pulling her legs up underneath her.

"I don't know Ian you were in his room for a really long time.” she takes a drag letting the smoke drift from her nose. She raises her brow and looks at him with suspicion “What else would distract you in there?"

He knew she wouldn't let it go so why fight it "Yes ok. Happy now"

"A little.” she grinned and scooted closer to him resting his head on his shoulder “So...what were you doing in Mickey's room?"

"I dunno thinking I guess" he said and stared back at the ceiling

"Thinking about what? You ok?"

He grabs the joint from her fingers and brings it to his lips inhaling deeply. He held in the smoke for as long as he could hoping it would calm his nerves. He blows the remaining smoke out and glances down at his friend holding the joint out lazily. "I honestly don't know Mandy ok. I thought I was, I thought I was over it but I don't know anymore"

"Well you were in whatever it was with him for a year. Do you like miss him or something?"

"I dont know..maybe.” he sighs thinking about the possibility “It wasn't...he wasn't all bad you know. There really were times that...you know what never mind. I'm just being stupid right now. I'm think I'm gonna go" he started to rise from the couch.

"Ian no just stay alright.” she says pulling him back down. He's too high to fight back so he rolls his eyes and sit back down.

“You know it's ok to miss him right? My brother is an asshole most of the time but he has his moments"

"I really don't wanna talk about him anymore Mandy. There's no point. He never really cared about me so why waste my time thinking any different. I just need to move on"

"I know you probably don't want to hear this but I think you should. He did care. In his own fucked up way he cares about you. He is just too much of a bitch to say it let alone show it"

He raises his arms in frustration "How would you know Mandy? How would you know anything about how our relationship was?"

"Cause he told me asshole.” she said defensively and shoved him in the shoulder “When I found out about you guys he said he cared out you. Mickey doesn't lie about shit like that. He usually doesn't even talk about his feelings. So it must be true you know"

Great now he has Mandy saying the shit too. If he felt that way he wouldn't have just tossed him aside right? Ughh.."If this is supposed to make me feel any better it's not.” he snapped and stood up from the couch.

“Ian..”

“No Mandy! I need to leave." he says loudly grabbing his jacket from the back of the door and running down the steps.

“Ian come back” he can hear Mandy calling him as he walks swiftly down the sidewalk.

He glances behind him once to see Mandy standing on the front porch. Fuck. Was this always going to happen? Was he ever going to be able to move pass this thing with Mickey and would Mandy ever be able to drop it? When she pried before it was one thing but now he knew she knew the truth it was like she had no right to ask him anything. She cared though...she wanted him happy. Ugh why? Why was everything so fucking complicated. Was it really too much to ask to find someone to bang to take his mind off of the fuck up shit that had gone on in his life? Was it too much to ask that people stop reading into every fucking thing he said or did because in the end it all came back to the same thing...something he was trying to avoid.

 

His mind was reeling when he stepped inside the house. He just needed to relax and try and put yet another day behind him. This is what he gets for saying yes to be the third wheel. He tossed his jacket on the couch and walked upstairs to his room. He threw himself down on his bed and stared absently at the ceiling. A yawn escaped his lips and soon his eyes were closing. He let sleep take him over in hopes he could find some peace.

 

******

He woke up a few hours later to the sound of running water and dishes clanging downstairs. He let his eyes flutter open and adjust too the the light in the room. He felt a little better now that he was rested. Things just seemed to be getting to him more and more. He didn't mean to go off on Mandy but she had no idea. She and Lip were happy and fucking all the time, going on dates..she was living it up. He should be doing that, he deserved some fucking happiness. It wasn't her fault though..none of it was. He needed his friend but he kept pushing her away. He needed to apologize. Fuck..that seemed like all he did anymore. He still was finding ways to disappoint everyone..

He really just needed to get laid! That would be the answer to everything, he would forget about Mickey and he wouldn't be so god damn high strung. He sat up and reached for his cell phone. He tried to call Mandy but it went straight to voicemail..shit....

 

Fine. He would go to her if she didn't want to answer the phone. He knew she was home and they needed to talk. She needed to understand that if they were going to be friends he had to be able to set boundaries and she needed to respect them. He slipped his phone in the pocket of his jeans and opened the door to head downstairs.

 

It was hot out. Not surprising with it being the middle of Summer but he was expecting more of a chill that was why he wore his hoodie. He walked down the street past people barbecuing in their front yards, the smell of cooking meat making his mouth salivate. Maybe he would take Mandy for a burger. Nothing says sorry for being an ass then a trip to McDonalds. He smiled at the thought and pulled his pack of cigarettes from his hoodie pocket. The pack was smashed and most of the cigarettes were broken. God damn it. Could he not catch a fuckin break. Someone must have sat on his jacket, he should've hung it up but he wasn't thinking..whatever he still had a few left and Mandy was sure to have a pack. He was only a few houses away when he heard the sound of loud music. As he approached the house the music got louder. He was about to turn the corner to Mandy's house when he was stopped dead in his tracks. There standing in front of the Milkovich house was Mickey and his two brothers. The door was wide open and he knew now where the music was coming from. He walked as close as he could without being seen and watched the three.

 

“I'm tellin you man she was fuckin pissed. Bitched kicked me out at 2am” one of the men said.

“Of course she was pissed bro. How you gonna just leave her hangin like that.” another one said.

“He's a fuckin asshole that's how” Mickey says with a smile. “How Shauna puts up with your ass blows my fuckin mind”

He watches from the side of the house as Mickey laughs creates an explosion next to his head with his hands.

“Aye Colin what the difference between Jack Daniels and the G-spot?”

Both of the men shrug their shoulder and Mickey takes a drag from his cigarette.

“Iggy would search for a bottle of Jack” Miceky said pushing his brother in the shoulder playfully.

The other man who Ian recognized more now as Iggy returned the shove with a middle finger leaving Mickey laughing loudly at his own joke.

“It's not that funny” Iggy says with a pout.

“Fuck you it's not funny” Mickey replies and taking another drag of his cigarette a wide grin spread acoss his face.

Fuck he was beautiful standing there laughing his blue eyes as bright as his smile. He looked really happy which was nice. The way he was looking at his brothers and talking with his hands he was so animated and full of life.

He felt his heartbeat speed up as he watched the men drink and smoke on the front porch. He thought about going for it, Mandy had to be inside but just looking at Mickey his palms were getting sweaty and his mouth dry. He had forgotten how sexy he was. Sure he had dreams now and then but seeing him in a white tank top and blue jeans leaning against the pilar on the porch, cigarette pressed between his hot..wet....fuck.

He needed to leave. Yup. This was not gonna happen tonight, he would try again tomorrow. It was time to call it a night and go home and get drunk. He knew where Lip kept a stash of vodka and it had his name on it. He looked over at Mickey once more saving the image of him in his mind then turned around to walk down the street into the night.

 

********

_He opened his eyes and looked around the room. He must have passed out on Mandy's couch. He sits up and sees Mandy staring at him._

_“Get a good nap?”_

_“What?”_

_“You smoked so much weed you fucking passed out”_

_“are you serious” he laughs and runs his hand down his face._

_“Yea she's fuckin serious you little lightweight” Mickey says from behind him._

_He quickly turns around to see blue eyes staring at him in amusement. Mic_ key leans down and kisses him on the _cheek._

_“good thing you woke up babe i'm fuckin starving”_

_“Oh my god me too. Where we going?” Mandy says looking at her brother._

_“Like I fuckin care let's just go and we''ll figure it out” Mickey replies walking over to the door and grabbing his jacket._

_Mandy follows suit grabbing her purse from the table._

_“come on Ian” she says with a smile as she walks to the door._

_He tries to stand up from the couch but he can't._

_“Come on Gallagher. Get you ass up man” Mickey laughs._

_“I can't” he replies._

_Mandy looks at him in confusion.“You don't wanna go with us?”_

_“I wan't to I just..” he tries to stand up again “I just can't. I don't understand”_

_“What's there to understand Ian? Either you want to or you dont” Mickey replies walking over to him._

_“I want to Mickey I do” he says desperately trying to get up again._

_“Not bad enough” Mickey says sadly and leans over to kiss him again this time on the lips. He reaches up to pull Mickey in closer but the man looks at him disappointed and walks over to his sister._

_Mickey reaches for the door. "Guess this is goodbye then”_

_“No. Mickey please..I don't want you to go”_

_He sits there and watches as the two siblings leave the house shutting the door behind them._

_He looks around at the sudden vast emptiness, there's no one there anymore. Nothing is there anymore just him, alone, no couch, no room, just emptiness._

 

“Jesus” he shouts sitting up in his bed, looking around at the darkess in his room.

He felt like a child but part of him wanted to run around turning on every light to convince himself he was wasn't still in the darkness...

 

That was realy fucking intense.

 

It was just a dream..that's all. He could hear the soft snores coming from his brothers across the room and immediately he was comforted. He took a deep breath collecting himself and stood up from the bed. He grabbed his phone from the dresser and opened the door stepping out into the hallway.

He slowly crept downstairs trying his best not to wake anyone. He was relieved to find no one else was up yet even though it was already 7am. Usually Fiona would be bustling about the kitchen trying to prepare breakfast but not today. Today he was free to stretch out on the couch and try to understand what the fuck just happened. He had dreamt about Mickey before but this was way different. Before it was sex, blue eyes and firm hands bending him over fucking him hard and whispering filthy things into his ear. That was something he had become accustomed to. In the beginning it pissed him off but with his cock “cock blocking” him, his wet dreams were something he was starting to enjoy. This though...this was something different. This was sweet and not a memory. In his dream they were together at least it seemed that way...and Mickey kissed him! He fucking kissed him in front of his sister like it was no big deal..like he was out or something. To be honest it was nice. He forgot how much he liked seeing the mans blue eyes and dangerous smile staring back at him. That was until last night. Last night...that was fucking ironic. He'd left so that he didn't have to talk about Mickey and when he returned there he was in all his glory, being Mickey. The Mickey he was now convinced he had fallen for. There was nothing but light behind his eyes and he was laughing..being happy. He always liked seeing Mickey happy. He liked it even more when he knew he was the reason behind it...He wondered if Mickey really was happy. Maybe he was...maybe he moved on and found something else to occupy his life. The guy didn't really seem like the dating type though. He didn't seem like the friend type either. He really just hung out with his family and went to work..that's probably what he'd been doing for the last 4 months. Did he miss him? Was he having fucked up dreams about them together and not able to fucking get off without picturing his face? Was that happening to him? Probably not.

 

He tried to think about what had happened. What was it that made Mickey suddenly decide to stop what he was doing? Why did he say he cared if he was planning on breaking up with him or letting him go..whatever. Mandy was wrong or maybe she misunderstood because Mickey couldn't care about him, he couldn't have feelings for him and treat him the way that he had. Who does that kind of shit? How can you say you care about someone then keep them as a prisoner how.........

 

Wait....

 

Was that...did he really..holy fuck.

 

He did care about him. He cared enough to let him go. That's why he did it, it had to be. It was fucked up how he did it but now it made sense. He was supposed to stay 3 more nights with Mickey then suddenly it was over. He knew if he kept him there the rest of the time he would be unhappy. He always pretended to be happy and it used to work but towards the end it was like Mickey could actually pick up on his emotions. Thinking about it now the guy actually seemed upset when he wasn't happy like it really got to him. He knew Mickey had a weird crush on him from the start but he never imagined he would actually feel anything for him. He thought he was kidding himself in those moment where Mickey broke down and showed his gentle, caring side. He thought he was crazy to believe it was anything more than a game because it always changed back. That night though...that night even after he told himself not to he found himself falling slowly. The look in Mickeys eyes and the way he kissed him..he knew it wasn't fake. His mind had told him it was, it wouldn't make any sense otherwise. How could he be that way one minute then completely different the next. Was he afraid too? He probably was..maybe he thought the same thing, that it was impossible for him to feel anything towards him other than contempt. Mickey probably thought it was all an act, each look and touch just a way to keep him happy. I mean a part of it was but a bigger part wanted to stay like that, in that moment forever.

 

Fuck. He missed Mickey. He wanted to be with him, how else could he explain everything he was feeling. Why else would the mere sight of the man turn him into a complete wreck? What if Mickey felt the same way? Could he still want to be with him but he's just too afraid..afraid of rejection...maybe.

Who was he kidding? He didn't know what the guy was thinking..he never did. He knew how he felt though...right? Yes. Yes he wanted Mickey. As crazy as it sounded, his heart knew it was the truth. Something about that raven haired man had him sprung. He knew it would be hard, it would be weird even at some points trying to drown out old habits but the discomfort would be worth it to have the man back in his life again. He wanted to feel his firm hands wrapped around him and feel his soft lips against his.

 

He stood up from his couch and wandered into the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. He was going to take a shower and put on a clean shirt and jeans then.....well then he was going to see Mickey.

 **********************

 He stares from across the street, the same as he'd done many times before. Only this time was different. This time he wasn't beaten and broken down, he was standing tall. He wasn't a good boy or a yes man, no he was Ian Gallagher and he knew what he wanted. His mind wrestled with his heart on the decision but in the end his heart won. He saw something beautiful in the raven haired man when they first met and glimpses of who he was really throughout their time together. He wanted that man now, he wanted that Mickey. He hoped now that he was whole again, he would be able to get through to him. He took a deep breath to still his nerves and crossed the street. It felt like deja vu but he shook the feeling off because this was different. This time he would have the upper hand.

Here goes....He pushed open the front door hearing the bells go off like the alarms in his head, but they soon went silent as he met the blue eyes that had been lingering in his thoughts all this time.

 

"Gallagher? The fuck you doin here?"

 

"I came here to talk to you. Been a while" he said resting his hands on the counter so that he was towering over the older man.

 

He shifted in his seat under the weight of Ian's gaze. Been a while right.... 4 fuckin months. Everyday spent trying to forget the fucking kid standing in front of him now. "Why? Nothin to talk about kid" he replied trying to maintain his poker face, to stay void of emotions.

 

Here we go. He knew Mickey would try to deny it. That he would immediately try and push him away but deep down he knew he cared. He'd had time to think about it, think about why Mickey just dropped him, throwing him away the way he did. He told him he cared and in his own fucked up way letting him go must have been his way of showing it. That's what he told himself when he woke up this morning and decided to confront him. Now that he was here he needed to know for sure. "Well I think there is. Why did you do it? Was it only a game?"

 

How was this happening right now? He thought after all this time the boy would have moved on, that he would have realized he was better off. He didn't care about hiding his feelings anymore. He didn't see a point either way. "No. It wasn't just a fuckin game. I told you why before. I told you I wanted you to be mine. That was then, things have changed"

 

Be Mine...What the hell did that even mean really. He had said it so many times when they were together but never understood what his true objective was. Honest if he would have just talked to him, things could have probably been different but no..that's not how it went down. "You wanted me to be yours? A possession. Like some fucking piece of furniture. Well you went about it the shittiest way possible"

 

He scoffed and licked his lips. "You don't fuckin get it Ian. I wanted YOU. All of you from day 1 but you had to throw it in my fuckin face." he sighed and ran his hand through his hair "What do you want from me man? I fuckin left you alone, that's what you always wanted so just fuck off.. Go live your perfect life with whoever the fuck and just leave me alone"

 

"No. I'm not gonna just go live my life cause for some fucked up reason I can't. You said things change. What you don't want me anymore?" He needed to know. Was it a lie? He said he cared but did he really..ever. He knew he did but he needed him to say it again, to tell him that under everything he did still want to be with him.

 

He stood up from his chair and walked around the counter causing the redhead to step backwards which only proved his point. "Don't be fuckin stupid. I just know better now. I'm no good for you Ian. You only think you wanna be with me because I made you feel that way." he sighed and licked his lips "I'm sorry alright. That what you want? Now You gotta leave and move the fuck on" he said defiantly.

 

"Jesus Mickey! Don't call me stupid I'm not alright. Or maybe I am cause I'm here who knows. Don't apologize though, don't say you're sorry... sorry doesn't fix anything.” he shouted and reached for the back of his neck rubbing at it anxiously. “What you did...I don't know if it can be fixed. But I'm not that broken kid anymore. I wish I could forget about you. Move the fuck on. I should but no I'm here cause I can't get you out of my fucking head" he could hear his voice cracking and the desperation leaking through. Even now after all this time. He wanted Mickey to tell him it was all right, that he was wanted. He needed his approval, no...he wanted it. He wanted Mickey and damnit the stubborn asshole just wasn't freaking getting it.

 

He walks over to the door, flipping the sign and locking it. Something he never thought he would do again in the presence of Ian fucking Gallagher.

"Fuck" he snapped rubbing at his eyes in frustration before slamming his fist down on the counter. "What are you expecting here Ian? You think you can just come in here and say you want to be with me and poof shit happens? Grow the fuck up man. Not everyone lives in the fucking fairy tale life you do" he rubbed his knuckle against his nose. "Even if I wanted...I'm no fuckin good fo you. You may have changed and thats fuckin great but I haven't and don't plan on it either"

 

He scoffed at Mickey's remark. He wasn't even going to entertain the idea? Just immediate dismissal..well fuck that. They went through too much shit for it to be for nothing. He walked up to Mickey and poked him in the chest. "No asshole” he said firmly “I didn't think if I came here things would be perfect all of a sudden. I'm not delusional. But you're full of shit if you think I'm gonna just leave cause you're too chicken shit to change.” he poked him again and looked down into his mysterious blue eyes “What's wrong you scared? Afraid it might be too hard? I know you're a lot of things but I never thought you were a pussy"

 

Whoa. He licked his lips and raised his brow looking at the boy slackjawed. No one had spoken to him like that in a long fuckin time and when it did happen he made sure it was hard for them to speak again. Ian though......fuckin Ian. He was perfect in every way, even now as he felt the anger bubbling in his stomach, the fierceness in the boys eyes tamed him. When Ian spoke before he had defiance and anger now he had the look of someone who wasn't going to take no for an answer. He needed to though. He needed to shut up and leave because he could only cage his temper for so long. He pushed him firmly in the chest "You don't know a fuckin thing about me. You think I'm a fuckin pussy cause I don't wanna kick your fuckin ass anymore?” he shouted and pushed the boy again so that he was against the cooler door “You like that shit man? You like dealin with someone who's fucking crazy cause thats what I am. I got demons Ian and you bring em out of me, so for the last fuckin time, just go" he said darkly and turned to walk away.

 

He wasn't scared. If Mickey wanted to hurt him he could have, he was just trying to push him away, literally and emotionally. He wouldn't let him do that though, not this time. He reached out and grabbed the older mans shoulder, walking over to him "I know you got demons Mick. We all do but we can help each other. Yea you're crazy but I can handle it ok. I can help you if you just let me. Don't push me away cause you're scared. I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be. If I didn't want to try"

 

He laughed and shrugged Ian's hand of his shoulder. He walked over to the counter and leaned against it staring at the boy in amusement. He was genuinely surprised to see Ian fighting so hard to be with him.

"You serious right now? How can you want to be with me I don't fuckin get it? You say you're not stupid but that's pretty fuckin stupid kid"

Fuck, what was he supposed to do here? He wanted Ian... fuck he wanted Ian but..could he really have him. What if he fucked it up? He would fuck it up again and he couldn't handle that.

"You don't...you're not thinkin man. I can't.” he stammered trying to find a way to make the kid comprehend what he was saying. “I told you I'm not gonna change alright and I don't wanna fuck your shit up again." he gestured to Ian trailing his frame with his eyes, seeing the confidence and growth before him. Fuck he changed "You're fixed now so why would you wanna be with the person who broke you?" he needed Ian to understand. He needed him to know how much he regretted everything.

 

He could tell Mickey was confused now. Gone was the fuck off attitude and it was replaced with someone who was scared to make a mistake. He could work with that. Everyone makes mistakes. Mickey did some really fucked up shit and he would never forget it but he wanted to forgive and see what they could really be. He wanted them to make enough good memories to snuff out the bad ones.

"I am thinking. I have been thinking about you even when I didn't want to. You don't think I didn't try to get over you? I tried. I thought I didn't want you but I do. I get why you're scared. Not gonna lie I am a little too, but Mick you don't have to be him. You don't have to be the guy who broke me. I have seen the real you when you let me. I want to be with that guy. He's there Mick you don't have to be afraid to be him"

 

He felt his resolve crumbling as he listened to the words coming from Ians soft lips. Fuck he missed those lips and that neck covered in freckles where he used to let his mouth call home.

"Fuck Ian" he breathed out heavily, he could feel his heartbeat speed up as the boy approached him.

 

"Think about it Mickey it's everything you wanted from the very beginning.” he said soflty as he walked slowly over to counter where Mickey was staring at the ground. “I'm here telling you I want you. Telling you that you can be the man you want to be. You don't have to be scared of me running away cause I'm here right now telling you I won't. I want this. Can you really tell me you want me to leave. Walk out that door and never come back? If that's what you want then I don't know. I guess I can't force you to be with me. I'm not stupid it's gonna be hard. I'm not gonna let you treat me the way you did. It will take some time figuring it all out but it will be worth. Don't you see that?"

 

Ian was so close now the smell of sandlewood filling his nose as if the kid had just stepped out of the shower. His mouth was dry and he felt nervous again. He hadn't felt this way since the beginning when Ian was just a distraction in his store who occasionlly looked his way or touched his hand. No that feeling had been foreign but now it was back and there were butterflies in in his stomach.

“I don't know..what if.” he rubbed his nose and looked up into Ian's big green eyes. He felt so small in this moment , so afraid. “What if I fuck it up. I have a habit of doin that and I don't want to hurt you”

 

He stared longingly at Mickey feeling an overwhelming need to make him feel better. "As long as you don't treat me like you did before the rest we can figure out. We will probably both end up hurting each other doesn't mean we shouldn't try. Plus I'll be sure to tell you when you're being an asshole. Help keep you in check" He smiled down at the older man, trying to lighten the heavy load he was carrying in his heart.

 

He tried not to smile but Ian had a way of drawing it out of him. He looked off to the side afraid to meet his eyes. "Yea you never really had a problem doin that in the beginning" He looked up at the ceiling still avoiding Ian's heavy gaze "I couldn't...you know do that again. I just wanted.." he sighed and finally looked him in the eyes. "I just wanted to be with you and I guess I went a little crazy when you said no" He rubbed his nose and averted his eyes once more "I don't do well with bein told no."

 

He reached out and touched his hand to Mickey's face, lifting his head to look at him.

He smiled "A little crazy in an understatement, but it's good you don't want to be like that again. That part of you Mick, you can control it. You have before when you let me go. This can work if we want it to...if you want it to"

 

Ian was staring into his eyes, his hand on his face felt warm and comforting, yet it gave him chills. His heart was beating out of his chest now this was all he ever wanted..could he have it? Was this real? "You're not fuckin with me cause I can't handle this shit if you're...." he was immediately cut off when Ian leaned down and pressed his lips hard against his. Fuck..it had been so long. He let his tongue explore Ian's mouth while firm hands gripped him around the waist.

“I want to be with you Mickey” Ian sighed into his mouth. The red head pulled away and stared at him, his eyes filled with lust and want, something Mickey had only dreamed of. “Do you want me?” he said softly

“C'mere” he replied pulling Ian back down into a another passionate kiss.

 

He wrapped his arms around Mickey as their mouth stayed connected. It was as if their bodies knew they were supposed to be here in this moment together. Each was craving the others familiar touch. He took Mickey's lip in his teeth pulling and biting, his hands moving up underneath the mans shirt so his fingertips could press into his soft skin.

 

Ian's hands were everywhere, his waist, his back, now they were running long fingers through his hair, pulling his neck up. The boy kissed and sucked at the skin under his jaw fiercely like he couldn't get enough. He was melting under his touch, leaning back against the counter letting Ian have his way. His hard on was straining against his jeans as Ian's fingers made there way down to the tops of his pants, fumbling to undo the buttons. Ian turned to look at him, his face flushed and full of want. His green eyes were bright and mesmerizing.

"Fuck I missed you" he whispers hungerily 

He reaches down to grab Ian's hands and bring them to up to rest on his shoulders. "Not here".

He doesn't want this to just be some quick fuck like old times no..he wants to take his time. He's been waiting for this moment, never dreamed it would be real, but here he was.

He gripped the boy by the waist tightly before allowing his hands to travel up his back pulling Ian in closer. A part of him was still craving the need for dominance but it was different. It was purely sexual, he didn't want to control Ian anymore but that didn't mean he didn't want to hear his sweet voice beg to be fucked.

“You're so fuckin sexy Ian” he exhales as the redhead sucks a hickey into his neck.

“Such a good boy” he sighs. Fuck. He wasn't going to say that only think it. What if he scares Ian away..what if..

“I wanna be good for you Mickey. I wanna be your good boy” Ian says seductively and he think he might just cum in his pants.

 

Mickey words make him stand at attention. He's been craving the older man's touch and now he was here, bodies pressed together. Ready. He let his hands fall from Mickey's shoulders down to his arms, then his wrist. He felt curl of the elastic bracelet against the mans skin and slipped it off with one quick motion. He held the key ring in front of Mickey's face making them jingle.

“What are doin?” Mickey says curiously cocking his head.

“You said not here, so shall we?” he replies extending his hand to Mickey.

“Mmm definitely” Mickey replies and suddenly he is being flipped around his body now pressed against the counter.

“Tell me what you want” Mickey says staring up at him.

He knows Mickey likes control, to dominate especially in the bedroom. He didn't mind it..as long as it stayed in the bedroom.

“Want you to fuck me” he replies softly.

“Yea?” Mickey says seductively and licks his lips

“Yea. Want to feel you” he purrs running his hand down Mickey's chest, his fingers tracing small circles in the fabric of his shirt.

Mickey sucks in his lip and nods his head. The man doesn't say a word and before he knows it he's being picked up again. He quickly wraps his long legs around Mickey's back and looks down at him. Mickey says nothing as they climb the stairs just stares like he's ready to devour him at any moment. The thought making him harder with each second.

“Keys” Mickey demands and Ian hands them over.

He watches as the door is pushed open and he enters the one place he never thought he'd be again. He had thought long and hard about this place. This was Mickey's place. He would be here a lot now and like everything else he could never forget only try and replace those bad memories with new fond ones.

Suddenly his back is being slammed against the wall. Mickey's mouth is nipping at his neck.

“I want you” he moans and turns his neck to allow Mickey better access.

“Yea?” Mickey replies as he sets him down, back still pressed against the wall.

“Yes Mickey please”

Mickey grabs his waist and spins him around so that his face is pressed against the wall.

“You miss me Gallagher?” he says darkly and slips his hand down the front of his pants to massage his throbbing erection.

“You miss the way I turn you out hmm?”

He can't think straight because the answer was yes. Fucking yes.

Mickey is pressing his hardness against him as he runs his hand over his shaft, he pushes his hips back to rub against Mickey causing the older man to groan.

“Look at you, so fuckin needy and sexy right now. I'm gonna wreck you” Mickey whispers in his ears. He's flipped around again and swiftly picked up from the ground.

Mickey walks them down the hall and enters the bedroom. He bracing himself for the feel of the mattress but instead Mickey set him down gently infront of him.

 

“I'm gonna fuck you so good” he says as he tugs Ians shirt off over his head.

He takes a moment to focus on the beautifully pale and freckled skin before him. He starts to kiss Ian's neck moving his mouth down to his shoulder blade. He sucks the soft skin between his teeth knowing full well it will leave a mark.

Good.

His hands are on Ian's waist quickly undoing his jeans and pulling them down with his boxers around his ankles. Ian kicks them off and grabs his face pulling him into a kiss. It's messy and desperate. Ians wet lips smash against his, coming together and parting again each time filled with more emotion than words alone can say. He moves his hand slowly down Ian's toned chest feeling his abs under the pads of his fingers until they meet the thick patch of red pubes at the bottom of his abdomen.

He lookes down at Ian's hard cock glistening with precum and wants to taste it. He needed to watch Ian come undone. He reaches down and grasped the boys dick firmly in his hand.

“Hmm fuck” Ian moaned as he began to pump him.

“So fuckin sexy Ian. Gonna make you cum so hard for me” he replies sinfully and licks his lips. Ian is watching him with his emerald eyes like a hawk as he sinks to his knees. He places his lips over Ian tip letting his tongue swiped across the the slit collecting the salty goodness that had begun to spill over.

“Mm Mickey feels so good” Ian gasps as he takes him in deeper. Fuck he missed this. The taste of Ian in his mouth, the weight of his cock against his tounge. He bobbed his head up and down glancing up at the redhead.

“So good Mickey. Fuck” Ian sighed as he tilted his head back.

He couldn't help the blush that spread across his cheeks at the words but he was glad Ian didn't see it. He felt hands on his neck then pressing down on his head holding it in place. He obliged as Ian pulled him in so close that his dick was touching the back of his throat and began to fuck his mouth.

“Fuck Mick your mouth” Ian sighed as he rocked his hips.

He tried to relax as much a possible but it had been to long since he had felt Ian's cock in his mouth and now it was thrusting into it.

He pulled his head back and Ian quickly released his hold.

“You're really fuckin good at that” Ian said with a smile.

He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and looked up at Ian.

“You're mine now”  He couldn't help the downright primal urge he had being around Ian especially now. He knew he wanted to be with him but still had the overwhelming urge to claim him, mark his territory.

Ian looked down at him with a coy smile “I know” he said warmly.

Fuck..the way Ian spoke so smooth and confident in his words was too much. He pushed him back onto the bed and tugged off his own shirt. He quickly finished unbottoning his jeans and tossed them aside with his boxers before climbing on the bed on top of Ian.

“Smell so fucking good” he growled as he tugged at Ian's earlobe with his teeth.

 

He grabbed Mickey firmly shoving their hips together and began to grind up against him. He wanted to feel Mickey, to fuck...jesus did he need to fuck 4 months was way too fucking long.

Mickey's tongue tickled him beneath his ear sending shivers down his spine, causing his breath to hitch.

“You fuckin like that shit don't you” Mickey replied before biting down hard on the inside of his neck.

“Fuck” he moaned breathlessly feeling Mickey suck at the skin between is teeth.

The man turned to him and pressed their foreheads together staring longingly into his eyes as if he wanted to say something but didn't know how. That's ok, there was time to do that later, for now he just wanted to be with him. He cupped Mickey's face in his hands and brushed their lips together.

“Fuck me” he said feeling the need growing in him.

“I'm gonna destroy you” Mickey replied lowly. He watched as Mickey reached for the lube in his bedside table. He felt Mickey's knee between his thigh and the man's hand pushing his legs eagerly apart. Mickey kissed his chest, planting kisses down the trail of chest hair leading to the V in his abdomen.

 

He was about to put the lube on his finger when he looked up at Ian. He was flushed and beautiful, lying there waiting to be fucked. He was grinding up against him, wanting him to fuck his ass and show him what he had been missing, at least that's how he was acting. He knew Ian had grown accustomed to being fucked good and hard like only he had ever done and now he craved it, but something didn't seem right. He knew he could never apologize enough to erase the things he'd done but their was something he could do. He would only ever do it for Ian and even then just this once. He had made up his mind. He kissed the boys chest one more time then wrapped his body tightly around him, letting his head rest on his chest for a minute.

“Mick? What are you...”

Ian didn't have time to finish because he had flipped them both over and now the redhead was on top staring down and him in surprise.

“If you wanted me to ride..”

“Shhh” he replied placing his fingers on Ian's lips. He didn't want to say anything either, this was not a moment he was sure he was comfortable with but he was going to do it anyway. He grabbed the boys hand and squeezed the lube on to his fingers. He was met with green eyes wide as saucers as he guided the finger to his untouched hole.

“Mick you don't..”

“Just do it..” he said sharply and adjusted his body so his legs were spread and Ian was now kneeling between them.

Ian looked at him one more time then dipped his head down to engulf his cock between his lips.

“Fuck” he sighed and sat up to look at the boy in front of him. Ian began swirling his tongue over his slit. The redhead looked up at him with hollowed cheeks and his pink lips sparkled with salivia as he moved up and down his shaft, swallowing around it.

“So fuckin good” he moaned and closed his eyes.

He felt Ian hands kneading his ass pushing his cheeks further apart as he continued to suck him off. His heart began to race when he felt the boys lubed finger now at his entrance rubbing gentle circles around the delicate muscle before slowly pressing in.

“Hmmm fuck” he whimpered and his head back down on the bed.

 

“Jesus Mickey” Ian moaned after lifting his head off Mickey's cock as his finger made its way slowly into the mans hole. He was so warm and tight around him it was the best thing he had ever felt. He wanted to feel that tightness wrapped around cock. The thought alone was enough to drive him mad. He moved his finger gently back and forth causing Mickey to squirm beneath him.

“Just relax” he whispered and leaned down kissing him.

 

He felt him body untense as he fell into the kiss. Ian's tongue danced around his as he raked his fingers through the boys hair. Suddenly he felt another finger press inside of him and begin stretching him out moving back and forth.

“Shit” he moaned into Ian's mouth pulling the boy in closer. Ian moved his fingers skillfully back and forth and soon the discomfort and dull burn turned into more of a pleasurable feeling. It wasn't until Ian began literally fucking him with his fingers that he realized he was really enjoying this.

 

Mickey was loosening up beneath him, his ass taking his fingers easily as he dipped them in an out. He pushed in deeper and moved his fingers back and forth caressing the mans body until he found his prostate.

“Holy fuck” Mickey cried out beneath him, each whine and moan going straight to his dick only fueling his need to fuck him more.

He pulled his fingers out Mickey sighed “Hmmph huh.”

“Just wait” he said darkly and sat up reaching for the lube again. He poured a generous amount in his hand and slicked up his cock, making sure Mickey was watching.

 

He watched Ian with wide eyes. He'd always loved the boys dick but he never really appreciated how big it was. Fuck. He should have thought about that before he decided to do this. He was enamored with Ian as he stroked himself until he was at full hardeness and his cock was sufficiently lubricated. His eyes followed the boy as Ian leaned back and lifted up his legs so they were resting on his shoulders. He felt the pressure of Ian's tip pressing against him, and in that moment he felt himself surrender. He let go of any sense of control and handed it over to Ian trusting him completely, hoping he would be gentle.

 

He felt Mickey's heartbeat race underneath him as he pressed against his entrance with the head of his cock. He pushed slowly into the mans wet heat and felt the tightness surround him.

“Fuuuuck Mickey. You're so tight.” he groaned slowly pushing in deeper.

“Huh uh.” Mickey moaned as he bottomed out.

He never knew the man was capable of making such beautiful noises but now he wanted to hear more. He looked down at him and Mickey nodded, he took the invitation and began to slowly roll his hips as he gripped his waist firmly. He looked fucking amazing underneath him, mouth opened and eyes rolled back craning his neck.

“You're really fucking sexy you know that Mick”

“Shhhut up” Mickey stammered as he filled him with his cock.

Yea not gonna happen, he was going to milk this for all it was worth and right now he wanted Mickey to know how much he turned him on.

“Hmm no. You are though, so fucking sexy. Letting me fuck your perfect ass”

He saw Mickey face turn bright crimson at the words and decided to try for more.

“Yea you like that. Like hearing how much you turn me on” he leaned down and whispered in his ear “You've always turned me on Mick. So confident and sexy”

“Fuck Ian...fuck hmm” Mickey gasped as he pulled away picking up the pace.

Mickey's eyes were squeezed shut now but his mouth hung open letting little breathless moans escape.

He couldn't help himself seeing the man like this, he was so exposed so vunerable in a way he would have never pictured. He felt the urge to see how far it could go, he just wanted to see how open Mickey really was like this lying beneath him, his cock thrusting up into him.

He reached up and traced his fingers over Mickey's open mouth before grabbing his hair roughly.

“Look at me” he said firmly causing the mans eyes to shoot open.

“I need to see your eyes. They're so blue and beautiful” he said softly tightening his grip around Mickey's hair leaning down to capture Mickey's lips.

 

“Uh hmm Ian” he moaned into the kiss as the boy continued to fuck him. The pain was long gone and had been replaced with an electricity and connection he never thought he could feel fully. He had a taste before but now it was supercharged. Their tongues were dancing together as Ian filled him again and again.

“Fuck me” he moans not caring about anything but feeling Ian inside of him.

 

"Such a good boy taking my cock like that" he says tenderly as he quickens the pace pumping into Mickey's newly stretched hole. He fucking missed this and when Mickey presented himself he thought he was going to die right then. Now with the mans virgin heat wrapped tightly around him, he knew Mickey cared, that he really had changed. He nipped at Mickey's neck causing the man to let out a strangled moan. "F..fuck Ian."

“You like that Mick? Like when I fuck you?”

“So good Ian” Mickey moans “So fuckin good fuck”

Mickey feels so good around him he needs more, much more.

“Get on your knees” he demands and pulls out.

Mickey looks up at him for a moment, his face is red and sweaty. He watches as the man slowly turns over and gets on his hands and knees.

“Your fucking ass is so sexy Mick” he says as he caresses the white cheeks in front of him. He kissed his lower back taking in the moment, seeing Mickey ass up in front of him waiting to be fucked.

“Get on with it man” Mickey whines and pressed his ass up against him.

“Mmm I'm gonna fuck you so good Mick. You're gonna beg for me to fuck you again” he says smugly and presses his cock back into Mickey tight heat.

“Uh..hmm” Mickey moans and pushes back onto him.

He grips his waist tightly digging his fingernails into Mickey's creamy white skin. He pulls him down roughly onto his cock eliciting another moan from the man.

“Fuck Mickey..fuck” he pants as he pound into his ass. 

He leans down and kisses the nape of his neck as he continues to fuck into him hard, relishing the feel of Mickey's body wrapped around him.

“So good” he sighs planting kisses across the mans shoulder. His skin is so soft in his mouth as he sucks and nips at his back. He finds the perfect spot on his back and bites down hard sucking hard.

“Mmuh..fuck..uh..huh” Mickey cries out. 

He smiles at the sound when he pulls away. He sees the purple mark standing out on Mickey's skin and feels a sense of accomplishment. Mickey had claimed him, said he was his but now the tables were turned and he was on top. He was in control in this moment. He sat up and pulled Mickey down onto him hard pushing his ass up and down so he could watch his dick sliding in and out. Fuck it was the sexiest thing he had ever seen. To know he was the first and last to top, the controlling, possessive man below him was exhilarating. 

“Such a great ass” he groaned. He didn't even think as he stared at the bubble butt in front of him moving up and down on his dick he just did it. He raised his hand and smacked down hard on the left cheek causing Mickey to cry out.

“Fuck Ian” he snaps.

“You know you like it” he replies rubbing his reddening cheek then slapping it again. This time he leans down next to Mickey's ear.

“You like it don't you?”

It takes a moment but Mickey looks at him, he's wrecked, face flushed and eyes blown.

“Yes..ok just don't stop”

That's all he needs to hear. He thrust into Mickey hard and fast gripping his hips tightly with one hand and smacking his ass with the other.

“Shit..fuck” Mickey moans his hips rolling back to meet every thrust again and again.

He knows he's not gonna last much longer the way Mickey is whimpering beneath him and rolling his hips to meet his thrusts. It's all too much and he's ready to blow. He reaches down and grabs Mickey's leaking cock and pumps it feverishly.

“Huh” Mickey gasps.

“Cum for me Mick. Be a good boy” he say with a devious smile as he leans down to look at the older man who is literally falling apart beneath him.

“Fuck off” Mickey moans with no heat behind his voice.

“Do it Mickey. I want you to” Ian says softly running his hand along Mickey's face earning him wide blue eyes staring back at him. He thrust hard and fast into Mickey hitting his prostate again and again, the man moaning a slew of curse words with each one, his hand still pumping at his cock.

 

Fuck. He can't hold back anymore. Ian is too good, he feels like he's overdosed on his favorite drug as he watches Ian fuck into him over and over again. His head is spinning and his mouth is dry.

“Holy fuck” he cries out as the feeling rises from his loins and he spills the hot and sticky release into Ian's hand.

“Mmm Mickey” Ian groans loudly above him before collapsing on his stomach. He feels his ass being filled with hot cum.

“Jesus fuckin christ” he sighs and lets him body go limp falling down into the mattress taking in the feeling that is overpowering him, still trying to catch his breath. His ass is stinging in more than one way but he feels fucking amazing. He never thought he would like it like that but Ian brought out many new things in him he didn't expect.

Ian rolls of of him onto his back. His breathing is heavy as he stares at the ceiling. He lifts his head and looks over at him “Thank you”

Mickey can't help the small laugh that escapes his lips. He knows this was important for Ian but he does't want to think about why. This was their new start, there was no time to dwell in the past.

“Doesn't mean I'ma wear a fuckin dress or anything” he replies giving him a very serious look. He might have really enjoyed takin in from Ian but he enjoyed fucking him more and he planned on doin it again, however a trade off now and then was definitely foreseeable.

 

Ian rolled his eyes “No body fuckin asked you to” he scoffs with a small smirk. “Although" he reaches down and runs his hand along Mickey's thigh “You do have really nice legs”

“Fuck off” Mickey replied and shoved him playfully.

He looked over at Mickey straightfaced “So what does this mean now?”

Mickey looked at him and furrowed his brow “The fuck are you talkin about. That you fucked me?”

Ian laughed “No silly. This” he gestured between the two of them. “I mean I guess I'm just wondering if we're gonna try this thing..you know if we're a couple” he replied suddenly feeling small again, feeling that need and want for approval.

Mickey turned over on his side and grabbed him pulling him in close so that their noses were almost touching. “Of course we are”

That was what he needed. He rest his head on Mickey's chest listening to the sound of his beating heart. His arms were wrapped firmly around him in a way he'd never felt before. Mickey was holding onto him like he was never going to let go. He was staring at him like he was the only person in the world, like he mattered.

"I like this" he said softly lacing his fingers with Mickeys.

"Me too" He looked over at the boy, his face was still red and his hair was sticking to his face. He felt like he could lay here holding him forever. He looked up and placed a gentle kiss on his wet forehead. Bringing him as close to him as possible, practically on top of him.

"I want this. I want you" he whispers in Ian's ear.

The boy says nothing only lets out a deep breath. His eyes are closed now and he looks like he's falling asleep. Mickey doesn't close his eyes though..not yet. He wants to stay in this moment with Ian..in this moment of pure untainted bliss. Ian was happy and his smile and eyes had been bright as fire. He would make a promise to feed that fire, to nurture it and care for it, not snuff it out and try and tame it. Fucking asshole..with his redhair and freckles..who did he think he was making him fall in love....

 

 


	28. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into the future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was co written by my beta and best friend Jessica92. A lot of the dialogue in the later half of the story was thanks to the chemistry we have with play play fighting xoxo.  
> Thank you all who joined me on this rollercoaster ride and supported me with your comments and kudos. I will continue to write what most don't and i hope too see your faces again xoxo.
> 
> #GallavichIsAlwaysEndgame !!!!!!

_ **One year later.....** _

 

Fuck! Stupid fucking tie. He'd been trying for the last 10min to tie the fucking thing but it just didn't look right. Why did he have to wear a tie anyways? He wasn't trying to impress anyone. He did want to look nice for Ian though. Tonight was their anniversary and it was kind of a big deal. It had been a little rocky after they initially decided to give things a real shot but Ian kept his word and didn't run, instead he killed him with kind words and soft touches and pretty soon it was perfect. Just how he'd always imagined. Sure they got into fights now and then but what couple didn't. It was different now though, he knew how to control himself things were domestic and simple. He was happy. His fingers fumbled around the tie one last time before he threw it on the ground cursing under his breath.

He heard his boyfriend huffing and puffing with his tie. Honestly he had never had a problem with ties but he didn't know if Mickey had ever worn a tie in his life. It was kinda cute at first to watch him struggle but when he started throwing it he decided to intervene. "Here let me help you" he grabbed the tie and worked his magic tying it so it laid perfectly down Mickey's shirt. "Damn Mick you look sexy. Too bad we're gonna be late or I might have to let you ravish me" he leaned forward and gave his boyfriend a quick kiss. "Now hurry cause we really are gonna be late"

He smiled and rolled his eyes. "How the fuck are we gonna be late man. it's our anniversary”

He sat on the bed putting on his shoes. "Cause I told everyone to be there at 7 and it's already 6:35. If we don't leave in the next couple minutes we'll get there after everyone else. It may be our anniversary but we'll still look like assholes if we're late" he stood up and put on his jacket. "Now come on and pretend like you want to have dinner with my family"

"Fuck fine let's go then. I don't know why we have to have all these fuckin people. I thought anniversaries were supposed to be intimate or some shit." Ugh he was NOT looking forward to this dinner. He knew for a fact Ian's brother hated him, even after they had been dating so long. Fiona was more accepting but she did give him a hard time in the beginning and a solid warning about hurting her brother. It was typical protective big sister shit, but Lip was just an asshole. He grabbed his jacket off the bed and looked in the mirror. Hm..he did look pretty fuckin good. He smirked at his reflection smoothing down his collar and walked out to meet his boyfriend by the car.

Wow this place is really nice. He didn't think Mickey liked coming to places like this. Sometimes he was blown away by his boyfriend. He knew he didn't want to have dinner with his family but he is for him and at an expensive restaurant no less. Mickey really knew how to make him feel special. "So Fiona how's life at work?"

"I love it. They just promoted me to sales so I'm going to get my own office isn't that great." her face was glowing and he could tell she was genuinely happy. It was nice to not see the bags under eyes and the worried look on her face for once. "So how have you two been? Feels like we never see you around anymore"

"That's because we don't. He's home like once a week. Might as well just move in already unless that too big of a commitment" Lip said with a raised brow.

He could feel the blush rising on his cheeks. Damn why did he have to be a blusher. He scoffed softly "Whatever Lip I'm not gone that much" he took a sip of his soda. He hoped Lip's comment wasn't gonna upset Mickey.

God he was a douche. Leave it to that asshole to know the one romantic thing he had up his sleeve. Fucking prick. He had been planning on asking to move in with him for the last few months but something always came up and he missed his opportunity. After he came out to his brother and the rest of his family he was surprised how indifferent they were. I guess Terry was the only one who really had any issue and that asshole was rotting away in a cell. His family had been warm to Ian made him feel like one of their own, that was when he knew he wanted to live together. Originally it was going to be a surprise at dinner with just the two of them but Ian's green eyes and coy smile convinced him to let him invite the fucking Gallagher clan. Now here they were. Ian was sitting nervously playing with his food and Lip was sitting there with a smug look of satisfaction on his face. He gave Ian shit about being with him all the time and Ian took it because he loved his brother. Well.. he wasn't gonna let him win this time.

"You know Phillip, thank you for reminding me. Been meanin to ask" he looked over at Ian and took a deep breath reaching for his hand "What do you say Gallagher? You wanna move in with me?"

Holy shit! Did Mickey really ask him to move in with him? He was shocked silent. Everything has been great so far aside for some bumps here and there. But was he ready to live with Mickey? Who was he kidding of course he was. He looked at their joined hands and grinned brightly "Fuck yea Mick! Of course I'll move in with you"

He tried to hold back the smile on his face but he couldn't.

"Oh Ian look hes bushing" Mandy teased.

"Fuck off" he snapped at his sister embarrassed that he indeed was turning bright red. Fuckin Ian..his boyfriend made him do things and say things he never thought were possible. Here he was in front of the world holding his hand asking him to move in with him. He really had changed and he had Ian to thank for that. He could feel all eyes on him at the table and quickly pulled his hand away reaching for his beer. He took a long sip and was about to say something to change the subject when Fiona boyfriend spoke up. "Wow moving in..that's a big step guys. How long have you been together anyway?"

How long have they been together. That was a complicated question with an even more complicated answer. He looked at Mickey then back at Fiona's boyfriend "Two years"

"1 year" Mickey said and looked at Ian. He placed his hand on his leg under the table and squeezed gently. He looked at Jimmy and rubbed his nose anxiously. "1 year officially today"..  
"That's a long time man, I'm happy for you. Happy anniversary" jimmy replies raising a glass. They toast to the relationship , and Mickey rubs his thumb over Ian's leg for comfort. This was so weird...he kinda limed it but still wanted it to be over. He wanted to spend his anniversary alone with Ian. He had another present for him but he would save that for when they went home.  
Soon the food was served and they all enjoyed the fine dining experience of a 4 course meal. He laughed and joked with Ian and jimmy and after a few glasses of wine Lip started to loosen up as well. Finally the time came to pay the check and part ways. They said there goodbyes and headed out to the car

 

********

 

He can barely contain himself as he unlocks the door to his apartment. The thought that Ian was going to live with him was making him crave the kid. They walk in and he immediately pushes Ian up against the wall roughly pinning down his arms. "You know how much you turn me on don't you Gallagher?"

He pressed his lips against Mickey's hard but quick then looked him in the eyes "Why don't you tell me"

"Oh really? Like you don't know how fuckin sexy you are" he raises his brown and lets go of Ian's arms to undo his shirt. Spreading it open running his hands down Ian's chest. He leans up to kiss his neck biting at the soft skin. "Want me to show you who that sexy ass belongs to?" He whispers lowly in Ian's ear biting at his earlobe. "Hmm? that what you want?"

"Fuck yes" he sighed tilting his head giving him better access. He grabbed Mickey's face and smashed their lips together running his fingers through his hair. He started rubbing his hard on against Mickey's. "Please" he moans softly.

He steps back from wall and unbuttons his pants running his hand over his hardness " get on your fuckin knees then" he demands staring into Ian's flustered eyes.

He didn't hesitate. When Mickey got like this during sex it really turned him on. He sank down to his knees as he was told. He reached in and took out Mickey's cock stroking it with his hand. He looked into his blue eyes before slowly swirling his tongue around the tip. He heard his boyfriend's breath hitch and he smiled. After a few more extremely slow circles he brought him fully into his mouth. He still went slow moving his head up and down taking his cock deep into his throat.

“That fuckin mouth man” he groaned tilting his head back letting the feel of Ian lips moving up and down on his shaft take him over. He could each flick of Ian's tongue as he moved to focus on the tip sucking on it like it was a fuckin lolly pop. He looked down and was met with green eyes. Ian's lips wrapped tightly around the head of his cock as he sucked. Fuck it was too much, he wasn't gonna last like this.

“Such a good boy. You know what happens to good boys?” he says breathlessly reaching down and gently sliding his dick out of Ian's mouth.

Ian looked up at him mischievously and shook his head “No”

He leans down and picks him up from his knees so that Ian is looking down at him.

“They get turned out that's fuckin what” he grabs Ian's face and pulls him down into a deep kiss. His hands are in his hair and his cock is rubbing against Ian's dress pants. He pulls away and looks up at his boyfriend. “bedroom now”

******

 

"That was good" Mickey sighed sitting up to lean on his pillow. He reached over to his nightstand to pull out a joint when he saw Ian's gift tucked away. Fuck.. that was close he'd almost completely forgotten. He had the hardest time getting these fuckin tickets, thankfully Mandy was good at all that bullshit all he had to do was give her his credit card...that was scary enough. He grabbed the envelope and tossed it casually at the redhead next to him who was still trying to catch his breath.

He grabbed the envelope and sat up opening it. He looked inside and pulled out a pair of VIP floor seats. There was one backstage autograph ticket. "You're kidding me right" his grin felt like it might split his face. He gave Mickey a kiss on the cheek. "System tickets!!! VIP and backstage ! But why only one autograph ticket?"

"wanted it to be for you ..." he reaches over and grabs the joint lighting it up and pressing it against his lips. "Not a big deal"

He watched Mickey puff on the joint. He could pretend it wasn't a big deal but it was. The tickets had to be expensive. He sighed and let his head rest on his pillow. "You know you can be really sweet sometimes. Can't wait for the concert. Thanks Mick”

Mickey looks at his boyfriend and sucks in his lip "Can't believe its been a year man. You ever think back in the day..this is where we'd be" he lets out a small laugh blowing out the smoke and passes the joint to his boyfriend

He took a pull from the joint and held the smoke thinking. He blew out the smoke with a shy smile. He grabbed on of Mickey's hands playing with his fingers. "I hoped we would"

Fuck..he felt that familiar warmth run through him when he heard his boyfriend's words. He was so lucky. Ian really was the whole package he was cute and funny and sexy as hell. He smiled and grabbed the joint from his boyfriend. "good. Now your ass is movin in..i don't know man. You sure you can handle all of this" he gestured to his body with a cocky smile "all the time?"

He looked at his boyfriend then climbed into his lap straddling him so they were face to face. He grabbed the joint and took a deep pull. He furrowed his brow like he was thinking really hard then blew out the smoke. "Well I handled you at your worse and I'm ready to handle you at your best" he leaned forward and gave him a soft peck "Question is can you deal with me? I can be pretty needy" he grinned as he ground down on his boyfriend. "I am also messy. Just cause I'm movin in don't mean I'm gonna clean" he took another drag before handing the joint to Mickey. "I'm ready. I want to live with you"

 

he laughed "you know what you are kid is fuckin adorable." he grabbed the joint taking one last drag and putting it out. "i can handle anything you got Gallagher but i do keep clean house see for yourself" his room was littered with a mixture of their clothes, there were empty beer cans a old cigarette packs on the dresser. It wasn't dirty though..it was his and now he would be sharing it with Ian

He looked around the room "You know what Mick maybe we should clean a little" he laughed "Or we might get lost" he got off his lap and lay next to him with his head on Mickey's chest. He started tracing patterns on his chest "So we're really doing this. You want me here with you...all the time" he wanted to say always but didn't want to freak Mickey out.

"why wouldn't i?"

He shrugged his shoulders "No reason" if he was being honest with himself he needed Mickey to tell him yes he wanted him. It doesn't happen often but sometimes he still needed that approval. Those few words from his boyfriend that tells him he's wanted. He tried to get over it but some habits don't die. There are times when he has a slight panic attack thinking Mickey may just drop him again. He couldn't take it a second time and he didn't think Mickey could either. No matter how much his confidence came back those little fears tugged at his mind. Maybe one day they will quiet but right now he needed to hear it. He won't ask though. He never does.

Mickey could tell something was weighing on Ian's mind and he didn't like it. He reached down and pulled his boyfriend closer to him so that his head was on his shoulder. "aye look at me" he said firmly causing the boy to turn and stare into his eyes. "I've wanted you too move in for a minute just didn't think you'd want to alright. I like seein your lanky ass next to me in the mornin and I want you to fall asleep next to it at night so stop fuckin sulking and gimme a kiss"

He kissed his boyfriend and let out a deep breath. He felt better. Mickey wanted him. He snuggled closer into Mickey. "Well good cause I like seeing your grumpy self all the time too. Plus" he stuck his face into his neck sniffed then kissed it "You smell amazing. Helps me sleep" he yawned "Man I'm beat. Tomorrow we should get some of my stuff. You know start moving me in" he gripped Mickey tighter then yawned closing his eyes feeling completely content.

"Whatever you want" he said softly and looked over at his boyfriend.

"Hmm?"

"I said whatever. we'll do it tomorrow, don't worry bout it" there was no reply. He lay there in silence thinking about how much they had been through and how freakin amazing it was that they were here together...a real couple moving in together. He wanted so much for them, so much more but that would come in its own time. For now this was good, this was more than he would have ever dreamed off. He heard the soft snores coming from his boyfriend and looked down. Sure enough the kid was out like a light. He ran his fingers delicately through his fiery hair careful not to wake him. He scooted in closer to Ian and planted a kiss on his forehead.

"You're Mine and I love you" he whispered softly then closed his eyes falling asleep.

 

_ **THE END** _

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Twitter @Noel_is_King or prompt me on Tumblr @aromance91
> 
> Xoxoxo


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